Ayahuasca in My Blood

1. Ayahuasca: A Master Plant Teacher for Profound Transformation

I can say that during those 25 years I have visited countless worlds and spent time, often awestruck, with unimaginable entities.

Expanding perception. Ayahuasca, known as the "vine of the soul," is presented as a master plant teacher capable of expanding human perception. It allows temporary access to other levels of reality, normally hidden from ordinary senses, revealing a universe teeming with unseen entities and dimensions.

A journey of discovery. The author's initial encounter with ayahuasca was accidental, driven by curiosity, but it quickly evolved into a 25-year apprenticeship. Each experience deepened his understanding, leading him through profound personal transformations, from overcoming fear to healing family wounds.

Beyond hallucination. Ayahuasca's effects are far more than mere hallucination; they are a visceral engagement with the spirit of everything. This engagement leads to a re-evaluation of reality, demonstrating that the world is far more mysterious and interconnected than previously imagined.

2. The Curandero's Essential Role in Navigating Other Realities

But the curandero, through his relationship with the sentient side of the plant, can encourage those plants to give up more than their chemical components, to give up their spirit.

Spiritual stewardship. A curandero, like Julio, is not merely a preparer of medicine but a spiritual guide and master chef of ayahuasca. Their deep, intimate relationship with plant spirits allows them to coax forth the plant's full spiritual essence, beyond its chemical properties.

Guiding the journey. Curanderos orchestrate the entire ceremonial experience, from preparing the brew to chanting icaros (sacred songs) and shaking shacapas (leaf rattles). They act as anchors, guiding participants through intense visions, healing simultaneously, and invoking plant allies to assist.

Tailored healing. Each curandero possesses unique plant allies and knowledge, enabling them to customize the ayahuasca brew with various admixture plants. This personalized approach addresses the specific medicinal and spiritual needs of each client, ensuring a holistic healing experience.

3. Visions as Gateways to Deeper Self-Understanding and Other Realms

Ayahuasca gives you what you need, not what you want.

Unveiling hidden truths. Ayahuasca visions serve as powerful tools for self-discovery, broadening the bandwidth of human senses to perceive co-existing realities. These visions often reveal profound truths about oneself and the universe, rather than simply fulfilling desires.

Diverse experiences. The author's visions ranged from flying with a bird and astral travel to confronting a "funhouse of desires and fears." These experiences, though sometimes terrifying, consistently offered insights into his subconscious and the nature of reality.

Authenticity of visions. The authenticity of these visions is often confirmed by unexpected details or profound insights that could not have been imagined. For instance, seeing furniture rearranged in his apartment or his mother's unexpected words from the "world of the dead" provided undeniable validation.

4. Healing Beyond the Physical: Addressing Spiritual and Emotional Ailments

Healing is a vital element of all of the master plant teachers. With ayahuasca, with which we are concerning ourselves, that healing occurs on physical, emotional and spiritual levels—sometimes all in the same session.

Holistic approach. Ayahuasca facilitates healing across physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions, often simultaneously. Illness is frequently viewed as a symptom of deeper energetic disturbances, which ayahuasca helps to identify and rectify.

The transformative purge. The intense vomiting, known as "la purga," is a crucial healing mechanism. It expels not only physical toxins and parasites but also emotional "bile"—guilt, anger, and unresolved traumas—cleansing the individual on multiple levels.

Miraculous recoveries. The book recounts extraordinary healings, such as a man's leg saved from amputation after a snake bite, a tumor removed without a scar, and a child's kidney failure cured. These demonstrate ayahuasca's capacity to address conditions Western medicine often cannot.

5. Confronting Fear and Ego Dissolution as Paths to Growth

The dissolution of the ego during ayahuasca was difficult enough to handle; this was the death of me as I knew me—perhaps even real death—and I could not bear it, did not have the courage to face such an unknown.

The terrifying unknown. Ayahuasca often induces profound fear, particularly through ego dissolution, where one's sense of self temporarily dissolves. This experience, akin to a "little death," forces individuals to confront their deepest anxieties and attachments to their identity.

Resistance to change. The author frequently struggled with panic and resistance when confronted by powerful spirits or "doctors" demanding deep personal work. His fear of permanent change and the unknown often prevented him from fully surrendering to the healing process.

Growth through surrender. Despite the terror, these confrontations were essential for growth, pushing the author to acknowledge his cowardice and eventually find the courage to face his inner demons. The journey highlights that true transformation often lies beyond the threshold of unbearable fear.

6. Spiritual Warfare and Brujeria: Realities of the Amazonian World

I had no idea that anyone could have the power to do what I saw happen to Gina.

Invisible threats. In Amazonian belief, brujeria (black magic) and virotés (invisible darts) are real and potent forces used to inflict harm. These spiritual attacks can manifest as physical illness, bad luck, or direct psychic assault.

Personal encounters. The author experienced direct spiritual attacks, including a "splooch" of evil goop and virotés aimed at him, and witnessed a physical assault on his friend Gina by an unseen force. These events underscored the tangible reality of spiritual conflict.

Protection and defense. Curanderos like Julio employ powerful arcana (spiritual barriers) and specific chants to protect participants from malevolent spirits. The author learned to use mapacho smoke, Agua Florida, and his own songs to defend himself and others from these unseen aggressors.

7. Guardians and Plant Spirits: Allies in the Journey of Learning

What’s important to remember is that we are lending you these powers. They are not yours. You must use them or we will give them to someone else. You must not abuse them or we will take them away.

Benevolent guides. The author encountered various benevolent spirits and guardians, such as Sachavaca (a tapir spirit) and The Man with the Hat. These entities acted as teachers, offering profound insights and spiritual gifts.

Gifts with responsibility. These guardians bestowed abilities like communicating with plants, astral travel, and even limited mind-reading. However, they emphasized that these powers are lent, not owned, and must be used selflessly and responsibly, or they will be withdrawn.

Ongoing mentorship. The guardians provided continuous guidance, often appearing unexpectedly to offer lessons or warnings. Their presence underscored the idea that the spiritual journey is an ongoing apprenticeship, requiring constant learning and ethical application of newfound abilities.

8. Unconditional Love and Protection: The Ultimate Lessons of Healing

"I love you, daddy, but I have to go now," and then she and Chepa were gone and Marco followed them but before he disappeared he turned and said, "Don’t worry dad. She can’t live without us forever."

Family struggles. The author's personal journey was deeply intertwined with his family's struggles, particularly his strained relationship with his wife, Chepa, and his children. He sought answers on how to love them better and keep his family together.

The lesson of giving. The "doctors" and Sachavaca taught him that true love involves giving unconditionally, without expectation of return or investment. This profound lesson challenged his previous attempts to make his family happy by doing what he thought they needed.

Protection and presence. He realized that Chepa's deepest need was for unconditional protection and a consistent, sober presence, which his drinking undermined. This understanding, though painful, provided the key to healing his family bonds and fostering genuine connection.

9. The Power of Intent and Courage in Spiritual Practice

You must have the courage to do that.

Fearless engagement. Julio consistently emphasized the necessity of courage and fearlessness when engaging with the spirit world. He taught that spirits, like Amazonian Indians, are "bravo" (aggressive/brave) and will challenge you, requiring an equally bold response.

Dominating fear. The author learned that true power in spiritual practice comes not from avoiding fear, but from dominating it. This meant actively confronting terrifying visions, asserting his presence, and refusing to be overwhelmed by malevolent forces.

Active participation. From chanting loudly during attacks to consciously directing his intent, the author's journey transformed from passive observation to active participation. This shift, guided by Julio and his guardians, was crucial for his development as a healer.

10. The Interconnectedness of All Things: A Glimpse into the Universe's Mechanics

It was the most glorious is-ness I’d ever seen. I was in absolute awe.

Unveiling cosmic truths. Ayahuasca provided glimpses into the fundamental fabric of the universe, revealing its intricate mechanics and interconnectedness. The author witnessed visions of DNA strands, the "gears of the universe," and the "corona"—a pulsing, living core of existence.

Beyond human perception. These experiences transcended ordinary human understanding, showcasing life at a level normally imperceptible to the senses. The "corona" was described as an impossibly huge, shimmering pipe organ, radiating light and life, a source of absolute awe.

Profound awareness. Such visions instilled a deep sense of wonder and a realization that the universe is a living, breathing entity. They offered a profound awareness of the "is-ness" of all things, a truth that, if fully embraced, would allow one to "know all things knowable and unknowable."

11. Passing the Torch: The Legacy of a Maestro Healer

When a curandero dies, whoever is with him can take his guardians for themselves.

The maestro's end. Julio, the author's primary teacher, eventually passed away, marking the end of an era. His death, attributed to tuberculosis exacerbated by spiritual attacks, highlighted the dangers and sacrifices inherent in the life of a powerful curandero.

Inheriting responsibility. Julio's passing revealed a profound Amazonian belief: a dying curandero's guardians can be inherited by those close to him. This placed a new, unexpected responsibility on the author, as malevolent curanderos sought to claim Julio's powerful allies.

Continuing the work. Despite his initial reluctance and self-doubt, the author found himself increasingly stepping into a healing role, guided by Julio's spirit and his own acquired guardians. His journey became a testament to the enduring legacy of his maestro and the continuous nature of spiritual apprenticeship.

Last updated: December 14, 2025