Plot Summary
Blueberries and Marlboro Reds
The story opens with Young, a gay man in Seoul, attending his best friend Jaehee's wedding. Their friendship began in college, both outsiders—he for his sexuality, she for her reputation. They bond over drinking, casual sex, and a mutual disregard for social norms. Their lives intertwine so closely that their apartments become shared spaces, their routines synchronized. Blueberries in the freezer and Marlboro Reds in the fridge become symbols of their domestic intimacy. The city is their playground, but also a place of judgment and rumor. Their friendship is a sanctuary from the world's expectations, a chosen family built on loyalty, humor, and survival.
Outsiders Become Family
Young and Jaehee, both estranged from their conservative families, find solace in each other. Jaehee's break from her parents is total—she refuses their money, works multiple jobs, and lives on her own terms. Young, more parasitic, still takes his parents' support but resents their hypocrisy. Their friendship is cemented through letters during Young's military service, with Jaehee's words providing comfort and laughter. When Jaehee returns from Australia, they move in together, creating a home that is both refuge and stage for their messy, vibrant lives. Their bond is tested by the city's dangers and their own reckless choices, but always endures.
Roommates and Rumors
As they navigate dating and hookups, Young and Jaehee invent fictional roommates—Jaeho and Jieun—to fend off possessive lovers. Their real cohabitation is a secret shielded by lies, but also a source of gossip. When Jaehee faces an unplanned pregnancy, Young is her confidant and accomplice, helping her through the ordeal with humor and practical support. Their shared experiences—abortion, drunken escapades, and confrontations with judgmental doctors—deepen their intimacy. They learn to inhabit each other's worlds, understanding the unique burdens of being a woman and a gay man in Korea.
Abortion, Urologists, and Shame
The chapter explores the intersection of sexuality, gender, and societal shame. Jaehee's abortion is met with moralistic scorn from a doctor, prompting her to rebel in her own irreverent way. Young's visit to a urologist exposes him to homophobic slurs, which he laughs off but later recognizes as internalized pain. Their friendship is a buffer against these humiliations, but also a mirror for their own self-judgment. The city's institutions—hospitals, parks, workplaces—are sites of both care and violence, shaping their sense of self and belonging.
Betrayal and Reconciliation
When Jaehee's boyfriend discovers the truth about her "roommate," she is forced to confess Young's sexuality. Young feels betrayed, not by the exposure itself, but by Jaehee's use of his secret as a shield. Their first real rupture is marked by silence and anger, but also by the realization of how much they mean to each other. Writing becomes Young's new outlet, transforming pain into art. Their reconciliation is bittersweet, shadowed by loss—Young's ex-boyfriend K3 dies in a car accident, and the world they built together begins to dissolve as adulthood encroaches.
Love, Loss, and Writing
Young's writing career takes off, fueled by the stories of his life with Jaehee and the men he's loved. The act of writing is both catharsis and self-exposure, a way to process grief and betrayal. Jaehee's marriage signals the end of an era, and Young is left to confront the impermanence of chosen family. The city, once a backdrop for their adventures, becomes a landscape of nostalgia and regret. Objects—blueberries, cigarettes, frozen meals—become relics of a lost intimacy. The act of remembering is both comfort and torment.
Mothers, Secrets, and Survival
The narrative shifts to Young's relationship with his mother, a formidable woman whose love is tangled with shame and control. Her cancer diagnosis brings them together, but also reopens old wounds—her refusal to accept his sexuality, her attempts to "cure" him, and her relentless drive for social respectability. Young becomes her caretaker, navigating the indignities of illness and the unresolved resentments of their past. Their bond is fraught, marked by unspoken apologies and mutual dependence. The city's hospitals and parks become stages for their uneasy reconciliation.
Philosophy, Loneliness, and Desire
Young enrolls in a philosophy class, seeking understanding for his turbulent emotions. There he meets an older man, a former student activist turned editor, whose charisma and loneliness draw Young in. Their relationship is marked by intellectual posturing, political debates, and a shared sense of alienation. The older man's obsessions—with activism, anti-Americanism, and his own past—clash with Young's desire for connection and acceptance. Their intimacy is both passionate and fraught, a collision of worldviews and unmet needs.
The Taste of the Universe
Their affair is intense, marked by late-night rendezvous, shared meals, and philosophical musings. The older man's tattoos—a tree of life covering old scars—become symbols of his layered identity. Food, especially raw fish, becomes a metaphor for intimacy and the interconnectedness of all things. Young is both enchanted and frustrated by his lover's emotional distance and paranoia. Their differences—age, politics, self-acceptance—create a gulf that love cannot bridge. The city's streets, parks, and apartments are both playground and prison, reflecting the limits of their connection.
Obsession, Activism, and Distance
As the relationship deepens, so do its tensions. The older man's inability to accept his own sexuality, his fixation on political purity, and his emotional unavailability drive Young to despair. Attempts at public intimacy are rebuffed; private moments are haunted by shame and secrecy. Young's longing for recognition and belonging is met with condescension and withdrawal. Their breakup is inevitable, marked by violence, silence, and the impossibility of closure. The city, once a site of possibility, becomes a maze of missed connections and lingering ghosts.
Illness, Care, and Resentment
Young's mother's illness becomes the central fact of his life, demanding sacrifice and patience. Their roles reverse—he becomes the parent, she the dependent child. The routines of care—feeding, bathing, managing pain—are both acts of love and sources of resentment. Old grievances resurface, but so do moments of tenderness and understanding. The specter of death forces both to confront the limits of forgiveness and the persistence of regret. The city's parks and hospitals are transformed into spaces of reflection and mourning.
The Limits of Love
Young's experiences—with Jaehee, his mother, his lovers—culminate in a reckoning with the nature of love. Love is shown as fleeting, imperfect, and often painful. Attempts to hold on—to people, memories, or ideals—are ultimately futile. The act of letting go becomes an act of survival. Writing, once a means of escape, becomes a way to honor what was lost without being consumed by it. The city, with its endless cycles of connection and separation, becomes both a graveyard and a cradle for new beginnings.
Gyu-ho: Three-Meeting Rule
Young meets Gyu-ho, a bartender and nursing student from Jeju, in a club. Their courtship is awkward, sweet, and marked by self-deprecating humor. Gyu-ho's "three-meeting rule" delays intimacy, but their connection deepens through shared vulnerability. Young reveals his HIV-positive status ("Kylie")—a secret that has shaped his life and relationships. Gyu-ho's acceptance is immediate and unconditional, a rare gift in Young's world. Their relationship is built on honesty, mutual care, and the willingness to embrace each other's flaws.
Living Together, Apart
Young and Gyu-ho move in together, navigating the challenges of cohabitation—clashing habits, petty arguments, and the logistics of daily life. Their love is ordinary, marked by routines, shared meals, and small acts of kindness. Yet the specter of illness, both Young's and his mother's, hovers over their happiness. The city's relentless pace and the pressures of work strain their bond, but they find solace in each other. Their relationship is a testament to the possibility of joy amidst adversity.
The Weight of Kylie
Young's HIV status shapes his sense of self and his relationship with Gyu-ho. Medical routines, fears of transmission, and societal stigma create obstacles to intimacy. Yet their love endures, adapting to the realities of medication, risk, and compromise. When opportunities arise—jobs abroad, new beginnings—Young's illness becomes a barrier he cannot overcome. The limits of medicine and acceptance are laid bare, and the couple must confront the inevitability of separation.
Letting Go in Bangkok
After their breakup, Young travels to Bangkok, seeking distraction and solace. Encounters with strangers—especially Habibi, a wealthy, rootless man—highlight the emptiness of casual intimacy. The city's luxury and anonymity offer temporary relief, but also force Young to confront his loneliness and longing. Memories of his time with Gyu-ho resurface, blurring the line between past and present. The act of letting go becomes both a necessity and an act of love.
Lanterns, Wishes, and Endings
The novel closes with images of lanterns released into the sky, carrying wishes that may never be fulfilled. Young's only wish is for Gyu-ho, a love that endures in memory even as life moves on. The act of writing becomes a way to preserve what was lost, to honor the beauty and pain of love in the big city. The city itself remains—a place of heartbreak, hope, and endless possibility.
Analysis
A modern meditation on queer love, loss, and survivalLove in the Big City is a raw, witty, and deeply moving exploration of what it means to seek connection in a world that is often hostile to difference. Through Young's eyes, we witness the joys and sorrows of chosen family, the wounds inflicted by societal shame, and the resilience required to survive both illness and heartbreak. The novel refuses easy resolutions—love is shown as fleeting, imperfect, and often painful, but also as the force that makes life bearable. The city itself is both a site of possibility and a crucible of loneliness, its rhythms echoing the characters' emotional arcs. Park's narrative is unflinching in its portrayal of sex, illness, and the messiness of real relationships, but also suffused with humor and tenderness. Ultimately, the novel argues that survival is an act of defiance, that memory is both a burden and a blessing, and that love—however brief or flawed—remains the most vital, transformative force in the big city.
Review Summary
Love in the Big City follows Young, a gay man navigating life in Seoul through his twenties and thirties across four interconnected stories. The novel explores queer identity, friendship, family tensions, love, and HIV stigma in contemporary South Korea. Readers praised the frank, humorous narrative voice, beautiful prose, and honest portrayal of gay life, though some found the protagonist unlikeable or the relationships repetitive. The translation by Anton Hur received acclaim. Most reviewers appreciated the representation and emotional depth, with ratings averaging 3.67/5, though experiences ranged from deeply moving to disappointing depending on connection with the narrator's voice.
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Characters
Young (Narrator)
Young is a gay man in his thirties, marked by wit, self-deprecation, and a deep sense of alienation. His relationships—with friends, lovers, and his mother—are fraught with longing, resentment, and moments of grace. He is both fiercely independent and desperately in need of connection. His HIV-positive status ("Kylie") shapes his identity, relationships, and sense of future. As a writer, he transforms personal pain into art, using humor and candor to navigate a world that often rejects him. His journey is one of survival, self-acceptance, and the search for love in all its flawed forms.
Jaehee
Jaehee is Young's closest friend, a woman who defies social expectations with her brashness, humor, and resilience. Estranged from her conservative family, she carves out her own path through work, study, and a series of ill-fated relationships. Her bond with Young is deep and complex—part sibling, part partner, part co-conspirator. She is both a source of strength and a mirror for Young's own vulnerabilities. Her eventual marriage marks the end of their shared youth, but her presence lingers as a symbol of chosen family and the possibility of unconditional love.
Young's Mother (Umma)
Umma is a formidable presence—divorced, self-made, and obsessed with social respectability. Her love for Young is tangled with shame, denial, and attempts to "fix" him. Her cancer diagnosis brings them into uneasy proximity, forcing both to confront old wounds and the limits of forgiveness. As a patient, she is both vulnerable and stubborn, refusing to relinquish control even in illness. Their relationship is a battleground of resentment and longing, marked by moments of tenderness and mutual dependence. In the end, she remains an enigma—both the source of Young's pain and a fellow survivor.
The Older Lover (Editor/Activist)
Young's older lover is a former student activist, now an editor, whose life is shaped by political idealism, paranoia, and self-loathing. His inability to accept his sexuality, his fixation on ideological purity, and his emotional distance create a gulf that love cannot bridge. He is both mentor and tormentor, drawing Young into a passionate but ultimately destructive relationship. His tattoos, obsessions, and intellectual posturing mask deep wounds and a fear of intimacy. Their breakup is marked by violence, silence, and the impossibility of closure.
Gyu-ho
Gyu-ho is a bartender and nursing student from Jeju, whose simplicity and sincerity contrast with Young's cynicism. His "three-meeting rule" and openness about his own struggles make him a rare source of acceptance in Young's life. Their relationship is built on honesty, mutual care, and the willingness to embrace each other's flaws. Gyu-ho's acceptance of Young's HIV status is transformative, offering a glimpse of unconditional love. Yet the pressures of work, illness, and societal barriers strain their bond, leading to eventual separation. He remains, in memory, the embodiment of love's possibility.
Jaehee's Husband
Jaehee's husband is a researcher, emblematic of the stability and respectability that Jaehee and Young have long resisted. His presence signals the end of an era, the intrusion of conventional adulthood into their bohemian world. He is kind, patient, and accepting, but ultimately peripheral—a symbol of the life Jaehee chooses when she leaves Young behind.
K3 (The Engineer)
K3 is Young's ex-boyfriend, an engineer whose death in a car accident marks a turning point in Young's life. Their relationship is marked by mutual insecurity, artistic pretension, and a sense of being outsiders. His death is both a personal loss and a reminder of the fragility of love and the inevitability of change.
Habibi
Habibi is a Singaporean financier whom Young meets in Bangkok after his breakup with Gyu-ho. Their brief encounter is marked by luxury, anonymity, and a sense of emptiness. Habibi's own loneliness and secrets mirror Young's, but their connection is fleeting—a reminder that intimacy without vulnerability is ultimately unsatisfying.
Jaehee's Parents
Jaehee's parents represent the traditional values and expectations that both she and Young reject. Their attempts to control her life are met with rebellion and estrangement. Their presence looms over Jaehee's choices, but ultimately, she forges her own path.
The T-ara Friends
Young's group of gay friends, named after a girl group, provide humor, camaraderie, and occasional wisdom. They are both a source of support and a reminder of the limitations of chosen family. Their presence underscores the importance of community in surviving the city's challenges.
Plot Devices
Fragmented Narrative Structure
The novel is divided into four parts, each focusing on different relationships and periods in Young's life. The narrative jumps between past and present, memory and reality, creating a mosaic of experiences that reflect the disjointed, often chaotic nature of urban life and queer existence. This structure allows for deep exploration of character and theme, while also emphasizing the impermanence and unpredictability of love.
Symbolism of Objects and Places
Objects like blueberries, cigarettes, blackout curtains, and mattresses become symbols of intimacy, loss, and the passage of time. Places—apartments, hospitals, parks, clubs—are imbued with personal meaning, serving as stages for the characters' joys and sorrows. These symbols ground the narrative in the material realities of city life, while also evoking the emotional weight of memory.
Humor and Irony
The novel's tone is marked by sharp humor, self-deprecation, and irony. Jokes and banter serve as both shields against pain and windows into vulnerability. This comedic sensibility allows the narrative to tackle heavy themes—illness, death, shame—without succumbing to despair, and to reveal the resilience of its characters.
Interplay of Public and Private Selves
Characters invent identities, hide truths, and perform roles to navigate a judgmental society. The tension between public persona and private longing is a constant source of conflict and growth. The act of coming out, both literally and metaphorically, is fraught with risk but also the possibility of connection.
Foreshadowing and Recurrence
The narrative is rich with foreshadowing—early events and conversations resonate later, often in unexpected ways. Recurring motifs (letters, songs, lanterns, food) create a sense of continuity amidst change, highlighting the cyclical nature of love, loss, and survival.
