The Measure of a Man

1. Embrace God's Holistic Profile for Christian Maturity

The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also (2 Tim. 2:2).

A Divine Blueprint. The Apostle Paul, in his letters to Timothy and Titus, outlined 20 dynamic qualities that serve as God's comprehensive profile for Christian maturity. These aren't just for church leaders; they are aspirational goals for every man seeking to live a Christlike life. This timeless wisdom, though penned nearly 2,000 years ago, remains pragmatically essential for personal growth and leadership today.

Beyond Perfection. This maturity profile is not a call to immediate perfection, but an exciting challenge to continuous growth. It acknowledges that spiritual development is a process, not an overnight fix. When faced with discouragement or past failures, men are encouraged to resist Satan's whispers and instead draw near to God, who promises support and love regardless of their current stage of spiritual journey.

Practical Application. The book's genesis itself highlights the power of studying these qualities in community. Gene Getz's own Bible study group, and later his work with D.D. Lewis, demonstrated how honest self-evaluation, discussion, and prayer around these 20 traits can lead to profound personal transformation and renewed relationships with God and others.

2. Cultivate an Unblemished Reputation and Respectable Life

People who have good reputations create positive conversations among a variety of people in various locations.

An Overarching Quality. Being "above reproach" is the foundational characteristic, listed first by Paul, because it summarizes a life lived in harmony with all other godly qualities. It means having a good reputation, where people speak positively about you in different contexts, both at home and away. This isn't about being perfect, but about consistently demonstrating integrity.

Actions Speak Louder. Our external appearance, speech, and the way we maintain our homes and conduct business all serve as "cosmetics to the gospel," making God's truth attractive to non-believers. A respectable man lives an orderly life, aligning his actions with biblical principles and cultural expectations, thereby adorning the doctrine of God. This includes:

• Maintaining property well
• Using edifying language
• Conducting business ethically
• Being courteous in social interactions

Seeking Honest Feedback. To truly understand one's reputation, it's crucial to seek honest feedback from those closest to you—spouse, children, close friends, and colleagues. This vulnerable process, though challenging, is invaluable for identifying areas needing improvement and beginning to build or rebuild a reputation of integrity and trustworthiness.

3. Uphold Moral Purity and Practice Self-Discipline

All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.

God's Standard. Moral purity, specifically being "the husband of one wife" (or "a man of one woman"), is a core measure of maturity, especially in cultures where promiscuity was, and sometimes still is, common. This biblical standard extends beyond physical acts to the heart, as Jesus taught that lustful thoughts are also a form of adultery.

Combating Addiction. Paul's concern about being "not addicted to wine" highlights the broader principle of self-control and avoiding any behavior that leads to bondage. This applies not only to alcohol but also to other overindulgences like overeating, smoking, or pornography, which can harm our bodies, cloud our thinking, and hinder our spiritual walk.

• Practical Steps for Purity:
  • Develop open communication with your spouse about sexual needs.
  • Avoid sexually stimulating situations (e.g., certain media, internet content).
  • Fortify your mind with God's Word and prayer.
  • Seek accountability from a trusted Christian man.
  • Consider professional counseling for persistent moral problems or addiction.

Discipline for Godliness. The concept of being "self-controlled" or "disciplined" is central to Christian maturity, akin to an athlete's rigorous training. It involves vigorous exercise of both body and mind for the purpose of godliness, recognizing that while physical exercise has temporal benefits, spiritual discipline holds eternal promise.

4. Live a Balanced Life with Prudent Wisdom

A temperate man relies on God for a sense of inner peace and security, no matter what is happening in his life.

Spiritual Stability. A temperate man maintains a clear focus on life, avoiding extremes and not succumbing to constant anxiety over worldly conditions. He understands that God is in control of history and the universe, providing an inner peace and security that transcends external circumstances. This allows him to fulfill his biblical priorities as a husband, father, employee, and church member.

Sound Judgment. Prudence, or sound judgment, involves having a proper, humble view of oneself in relation to God and others. It recognizes that all gifts and abilities come from God, fostering gratitude rather than arrogance. A prudent man is:

• Humble: Not thinking more highly of himself than he ought.
• Grateful: Acknowledging God's grace as the source of all good.
• Prayer-focused: Seeking God's will and wisdom through prayer.

Avoiding Extremes. While a temperate man is engaged in the world and its issues, he avoids becoming obsessed to the point of neglecting his primary calling to be "light" and "salt." He participates in civic duties, but his ultimate hope and security rest in Jesus Christ, not in societal outcomes. This balance allows him to act responsibly without being consumed by pessimism.

5. Communicate with Sensitivity, Gentleness, and Fairness

To be able to teach means that we must learn how to communicate with others in a nonthreatening, nondefensive manner.

Beyond Skill. Being "able to teach" is more than just pedagogical skill; it's a profound quality of life. It means communicating God's truth and interacting with others in a non-threatening, non-defensive, and patient manner, even when faced with opposition or false accusations. This requires spiritual and emotional maturity, avoiding quarrels, and correcting with gentleness.

Fair-Mindedness. A "gentle" man, as described by Paul, is equitable, fair-minded, and considerate. He listens to all sides of an issue before making decisions and demonstrates incredible patience and forbearance, even with those who cause difficulties. This quality reflects the meekness of Christ, who, though firm in truth, was always gracious and understanding.

Justice in Action. To be "just" means to do what is right and fair in all relationships, being impartial and upright. This extends from family interactions to business dealings and how we treat strangers. It's motivated by the understanding of God's mercy and grace towards us, compelling us to show similar consideration to others, especially those lost in sin.

6. Demonstrate Generosity, Free from the Love of Money

Being a Christian and being generous should be inseparable concepts.

A Heart Issue. True generosity stems from a cheerful heart, not grudging obligation. It involves sharing our material possessions and resources with others, whether through systematic giving to God's work or by helping individuals in need. This attitude transforms mundane transactions, like tipping, into opportunities to bless others and witness for Christ.

Biblical Priorities. The Bible speaks extensively about money, emphasizing that we cannot serve both God and wealth. A mature Christian prioritizes God's kingdom and righteousness, trusting Him to meet their needs. The "love of money" is a root of all evil, leading to temptation, ruin, and a focus on earthly treasures over eternal values.

Eight Principles of Giving:

• Give regularly and systematically.
• Plan ahead with a joyful, willing spirit.
• Give proportionately to your income.
• Model generosity to others.
• Be accountable for your financial stewardship.
• Begin giving now, even if small.
• Give by faith, trusting God for future provision.
• Trust God to meet your needs when He is prioritized.

7. Lead Your Household with Godly Wisdom

A mark of maturity, or immaturity, in a man is the way he functions as a father in his home.

The True Test. How a man manages his household—as a husband and father—is a profound indicator of his spiritual maturity. This means loving his wife as Christ loved the church, living with her in an understanding way, and honoring her. As a father, it means raising children "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord," not provoking them to anger or exasperating them.

Beyond Misconceptions. Paul's instruction about managing one's household well refers to adult children who are not living in "dissipation or rebellion," indicating a long-term impact of godly parenting. It does not imply:

• A requirement to have children to be a leader.
• Judging normal phases of child development as rebellion.
• Expecting a "perfect" family, as all families face imperfections.
• Equating business success with family success.
• Prioritizing church work over family responsibilities.

Earning Respect. Effective family leadership is built on earning respect and love, not demanding it. Fathers should strive to understand their children individually, listening to their thoughts and feelings, and seeking forgiveness when mistakes are made. This consistent walk with Christ, coupled with humility and a willingness to learn, fosters a well-ordered and loving home environment.

8. Conquer Self-Centeredness and Destructive Anger

To deny anger in others and ourselves can lead to some serious psychological, spiritual and even physical problems.

The Self-Willed Trap. A "self-willed" man is self-centered, arrogant, and often overbearing, building his world around his own desires. This trait, though sometimes sugarcoated with religious behavior, breeds resentment and erodes trust in relationships, particularly within marriage and parent-child dynamics. It can stem from overindulgence or, paradoxically, from childhood repression.

Handling Anger Biblically. Anger is a natural, God-given emotion, but it becomes sinful when it leads to quick-tempered outbursts, physical harm ("pugnacious" or "striker" behavior), persistent bitterness, emotional abuse, or vengeful actions. The goal is to "be angry, and yet do not sin," expressing feelings appropriately without causing harm or giving the devil an opportunity.

Becoming a Peacemaker. A mature man is "peaceable" and "uncontentious," striving for unity rather than stirring up arguments. While it's not wrong to disagree or challenge incorrect behavior, the goal is to do so with gentleness and a desire for reconciliation. This requires overcoming root causes like:

• Our inherent sin nature
• Bad models from upbringing
• Habitual contentious behavior
• Insecurity driving domineering actions
• Lingering bitterness from past hurts

9. Pursue Wholehearted Devotion and Holiness

The only way to true happiness and lasting joy and pleasure that satisfies is to live within the will of God.

Beyond Rituals and Perfectionism. True holiness is not earned through religious rituals, ascetic self-denial, or legalistic rule-following. It's also not about achieving perfection in this life, which can lead to guilt or self-deception. Instead, holiness is a dual reality:

• Positional Holiness: All Christians are perfectly holy in God's sight through Christ's sacrifice.
• Progressive Holiness: A lifelong process of becoming more Christlike on Earth.

Loving What is Good. A mature Christian "loves what is good," which is a direct contrast to being "lovers of self, lovers of money, and lovers of pleasure." This love for good is rooted in a wholehearted love for God, as expressed in the greatest commandment. When we love God, we naturally desire to live within His will, finding true joy and satisfaction.

Empowered by the Spirit. Living a holy life is a conscious act of the will, empowered by the Holy Spirit working through the Word of God. By "walking by the Spirit," Christians can overcome the desires of the flesh and instead manifest the "fruit of the Spirit": love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. This transformation of mind and behavior allows us to reflect God's holiness in all aspects of life.