On Getting Out of Bed

1. Mental Suffering is a Universal Human Experience, Not an Anomaly

While not everyone will experience the kinds of trauma they did, suffering—even profound mental affliction and personal tragedy—is a normal part of human life.

Challenging assumptions. Many of us grow up believing that a "normal life" is a pleasant, comfortable one, free from profound suffering. We assume that those who struggle with addiction, abuse, or mental illness are outliers, perhaps even responsible for their own misery due to character flaws or poor choices. This perspective, akin to Job's friends, is a comforting but ultimately false narrative.

The hidden reality. As we mature and connect deeply with others, we uncover a different truth: almost everyone, even those who appear to "have it all together," carries unspeakable pain. This suffering takes many forms, from diagnosed mental disorders to undiagnosable anxieties and burdens, often hidden behind smiles and polite assurances.

• Panic attacks
• Parental guilt
• Trauma-induced eating disorders
• Debilitating mental disorders
• Profound loneliness and boredom

Suffering is inescapable. Whether directly experienced or felt through the struggles of loved ones, mental affliction "gets us" one way or another. It's a fundamental aspect of the human condition, a truth often obscured by a societal "conspiracy" to reframe difficulty as a heroic challenge rather than an inherent part of life.

2. Modern Society's "Technique" Creates Unrealistic Expectations and Shame

If life doesn’t have to be this hard, if there are answers and methods and practices that can solve my problems, then it really is my fault that I’m overwhelmed or a failure.

The promise of efficiency. Our society is governed by "technique," the relentless application of rational methods to maximize efficiency in every aspect of life—from time-saving apps to self-help books and scientific parenting methods. This pervasive promise suggests that all challenges can be overcome through research, technology, and discipline.

The burden of failure. This promise, however, becomes a source of dread and shame. If solutions exist for every problem, then personal suffering or failure to "overcome" one's issues is perceived as a personal failing. This pressure makes honesty about struggles difficult, as it often invites unsolicited advice or judgment.

• "Have you tried this diet?"
• "Regular exercise can improve mental health."
• "Here's a book on prayer."
• "Drink more water for your mental disorder."

Hyper-competition and stigma. In a hyper-competitive world, publicly admitting suffering, even with reduced stigma around mental illness, can feel like a liability. This societal structure, arguably not built for humans as God designed us, can make anxiety and depression rational responses to a fundamentally disordered environment.

3. Professional Help is Valuable, But Not a Cure-All for Existential Questions

The best mental health professionals are not scientists who offer precise, empirically objective diagnoses but students of the human heart and soul.

Seeking certainty. When facing mental affliction, there's a desperate desire for a clear diagnosis and a definitive cure, treating mental illness like diabetes. However, the reality of psychology and psychiatry is often far murkier. While immensely valuable and personally beneficial, these fields rarely offer "medical cures" in the traditional sense.

Limits of understanding. We often don't fully understand how popular antidepressants work, and diagnoses themselves evolve (e.g., the removal of the "bereavement exclusion" from the DSM-5). This uncertainty is frustrating, especially when suffering demands clarity.

• Psychiatrists can prescribe medication, but the mechanism is often unclear.
• Therapists offer wisdom and compassion, not always a "cure."
• Brain scans show signs, but there's no "depression biopsy."

The ultimate choice. Over-relying on medical language can inadvertently legitimize some suffering while invalidating others, creating a hierarchy of affliction. Regardless of diagnosis, the fundamental choice to live remains personal and cannot be replaced by external resources. Professional help can guide and assist, but the existential decision to get out of bed is always yours.

4. The Fundamental Question: Why Get Out of Bed?

Why is life worth all this agony?

An essential, often avoided question. The choice to get out of bed is not always easy; sometimes it feels impossible, like a boulder pinning us down. This daily decision forces us to confront the most essential question: Why live? This isn't just about suicide, but about all the ways we can passively destroy our lives by denying their goodness.

Distractions from the truth. Modern life offers numerous distractions to avoid this uncomfortable inquiry:

• Frantic busyness: Too busy living to question living.
• Perpetual pleasure: Always a new experience or purchase to chase.
• Empty platitudes: "Life is precious," "The world needs you," "You matter."
• Medicalization: Viewing the question itself as a treatable condition.

McCarthy's stark challenge. Cormac McCarthy's The Road powerfully illustrates this dilemma. The wife, facing a world of unimaginable suffering, rationally argues for suicide, yet the father refuses to give up, embodying an answer beyond logic. His actions suggest that life's worth transcends pleasure or freedom from pain.

5. Your Life is a Powerful Witness to God's Goodness

Your existence is a testament, a living argument, an affirmation of creation itself.

An inescapable testimony. Whether we intend it or not, our lives are a constant witness to the world. Our choices, actions, and even our very existence communicate profound truths about God, His creation, and His laws. This testimony is beyond our control in some ways (e.g., being made in God's image) but within our control in others.

The impact of our actions. Our sins, for example, don't just harm us; they lie to our neighbors, suggesting God's promises aren't enough. Conversely, our acts of faithfulness, especially in suffering, affirm God's goodness.

• Infidelity communicates broken vows and conditional love.
• Rudeness communicates disrespect for others.
• Workaholism communicates the value of career over people.

A daily affirmation. When life inevitably crushes us, our response testifies to something. Choosing to rise each day, despite subjective feelings of meaninglessness, is a faint but real echo of God's "It is good." It's an objective affirmation of creation, a participation in God's ongoing act of preserving His world and us within it.

6. Getting Out of Bed is a Daily Act of Worship and Defiance

By living this life, you participate in God’s act of creation, asserting with your very existence that it is a good creation.

A living sacrifice. The decision to get out of bed is the most fundamental wager we make each day. It's a decisive act, a severe gamble against the certainty of suffering. This act, taken in radical defiance of despair, honors God and His creation, serving as a powerful testimony to our community. Paul's exhortation to "present [our] bodies as a living sacrifice" (Romans 12:1) finds its expression here.

Doing the "next thing." In the face of overwhelming responsibilities, the only way forward is to focus on "the next thing." This isn't about denying other duties but recognizing that faithfulness is always a present obligation.

• Get out of bed.
• Put on shoes.
• Make coffee.
• Brush teeth.

Beyond mere coping. This isn't just about creating momentum to "feel good enough to stay busy." It's about doing the next thing for God, as an act of worship that testifies to His goodness and the inherent goodness of our lives. It's a practice of faith, even when feelings of goodness are absent.

7. Loving Yourself Means Affirming God's Good Creation, Even in Suffering

We love ourselves because we are lovely before God, and what other opinion could possibly matter more than God’s?

A necessary love. The concept of "loving yourself" can sound vacuous, but Christian philosopher Josef Pieper defines love as saying, "It's good that you exist; how wonderful that you are!" God delights in our existence, and to echo His "It is good" by loving ourselves is not pride but an act of worship.

Paul's definition of love applied. The description of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 offers concrete guidance on how to love ourselves, God, and our neighbor:

• Bears all things: Enduring internal and external sufferings.
• Believes all things: Trusting God's perfect love and wisdom, even when experience contradicts it.
• Hopes all things: Resting on God's promises, not self-reliance.
• Endures all things: Persevering through mental torments.

Not alone. This self-love is not a solitary endeavor. We bear, believe, hope, and endure with the aid of the Holy Spirit and the comfort of friends. It's a communal act, modeling for others how they, too, can love themselves by affirming God's creation.

8. Living with Chronic Mental Illness Requires Navigating Dual Realities

To live with a mental illness is to live in two different realities: the reality of your mental state and the reality of your embodiment in a community.

The monotonous grind. Chronic mental suffering is a unique burden, often more tedious and wearisome than acute episodes. It can become a "familiar friend," making periods of relief feel disorienting. The fear of relapse and the constant internal battle are exhausting.

Disconnection and responsibility. Mental illness can profoundly disconnect one's internal experience from external reality. While your world may feel terrible and empty, the world around you continues, and people still depend on you.

• Children needing care
• Pets needing attention
• Friends needing a listening ear
• Work responsibilities

The tension of agency. The blurry line between personal choice and the power of illness creates a constant tension. We cannot deny our community, nor can we deny our mental state. The challenge is to discern when to step away for healing and when to bear responsibilities with suffering for the sake of others.

9. Trusting Others is Essential When Your Own Mind Deceives You

Do not trust your own judgment in your depressed and anxious condition, as to either the state of your soul or the choice and conduct of your thoughts or ways.

Surrendering judgment. When mental distress is severe, one's own judgment, feelings, and intuition can become distorted. What feels most real and certain may be a lie. In such times, the crucial act is to surrender to the grace and wisdom of others—friends, family, pastors, and professionals.

The wisdom of "knowing with." Puritan theologian Richard Baxter advises committing oneself to an "experienced, faithful guide" when one is unfit to judge their own condition. This "con-science" (knowing with others) is vital, especially when facing:

• False guilt: Believing one has sinned or rejecting God's pardon.
• Irrational fears: Doubting one's worth or God's love.
• Overwhelming despair: Feeling utterly lost and hopeless.

Action over feeling. Trusting others doesn't immediately change how you feel, but it enables you to act rightly. It's about doing the next good thing, however small, even when you don't feel "peace" or conviction. This is a practical act of faith, a step towards the block.

10. Grace, Not Suffering, Lies at the Heart of All Existence

For nothing is real save his grace.

The ultimate reason to live. The only enduring reason to keep living is to live before God for His glory. Our creation was a gratuitous, prodigal act of love, not based on our usefulness. The World, the Flesh, and the Devil, however, demand usefulness, and when that runs out, they offer no reason to continue.

God's unconditional love. God created us simply because He loves us and for His good pleasure. Our value is not tied to productivity, pleasure, or rebellion, but to being His beloved creation. Even in our fallen state, our existence remains good in His eyes.

• God's creation of you was gratuitous.
• He sustains your existence because He loves you.
• Christ's sacrifice overcomes all sin and condemnation.

Peace beyond understanding. Paul's command to "not be anxious for anything" (Philippians 4:6-7) offers a peace that "surpasses all understanding." This peace isn't a simple fix or a guarantee that anxiety disappears, but a grounding truth that enables perseverance. It means trusting God's faithfulness even when our minds and emotions betray us.

A shared journey. Suffering is a normal part of life, but it is not its essence. At the heart of being is grace. We are called to hold each other up, reminding one another of this truth, accepting the gift of life, and doing the next thing. When we cannot get up alone, others will carry us, and in turn, we will carry them, embodying Christ's mercy in His body on Earth.