Plot Summary
Pond Confessions and Secrets
Caroline waits for Ruth at the pond, reflecting on their friendship and the landscape that has become home. When Ruth arrives, she's burdened by a secret: her daughter Siddha's biological father, long thought to be an anonymous donor, was actually a man Ruth knew—and he has just died, leaving Siddha something in his will. The revelation shakes both women, exposing the fragility of the stories we tell our children and ourselves. Ruth's anxiety about how to tell Siddha, and Caroline's uncertainty about her own role as confidante, set the tone for a narrative where secrets, revelations, and the limits of honesty, trust, and the boundaries of family are constantly negotiated.
Sukkot Party Tensions
Despite the emotional upheaval, Ruth and Wyn host a Sukkot party, determined to maintain normalcy for their children and friends. The gathering brings together the Schwartz-Huntleys, Caruso-Gallaghers, and Gold-Fynches, each family carrying their own burdens and hopes. The party is a swirl of food, laughter, and subtle competition, but beneath the surface, Ruth and Wyn struggle with Siddha's withdrawal and the weight of their secret. The event becomes a microcosm of their community—supportive yet fraught, loving yet competitive, and always on the edge of revelation.
Memorials and New Connections
At Elliot's memorial, Tobi and Evie mingle with the community, reflecting on mortality and the passage of time. Tobi meets Bex, a charismatic newcomer whose presence stirs something deep within her—a longing not just for youth, but for a different kind of self. The memorial is both a celebration and a confrontation with impermanence, prompting Tobi to question her own life's trajectory and desires. The connections forged here—between old friends, new acquaintances, and the dead—echo throughout the intertwined families.
Marriages, Memories, and Melancholy
Caroline and Mike's marriage is tested by exhaustion, worry for their son Luca, and the ever-present shadow of the past. Caroline's memories of falling in love with Mike, their early struggles, and the compromises they've made are juxtaposed with her current anxieties about Luca's loneliness. The chapter explores the ways marriage can be both a source of light and a site of disappointment, and how the longing for connection—whether with a spouse, a child, or a friend—can be both sustaining and painful.
Family Dinner, Family History
As Ruth prepares dinner, she reflects on her history with Elliot, the choices that led to Siddha's birth, and the complex web of relationships that define her family. The act of cooking and gathering the children becomes a meditation on motherhood, memory, and the ways the past is always present. The dinner table is a stage for both conflict and comfort, where old wounds are reopened and new bonds are forged, and where the desire for belonging is as palpable as the food on the plates.
Nighttime Loneliness and Longing
Caroline, after a long day, is overwhelmed by loneliness and the fear that she is failing her son. Her friendship with Ruth is a lifeline, but even that connection feels tenuous in the face of her own insecurities. The night amplifies her worries about Luca, her marriage, and her place in the world. Yet, in the quiet darkness, there is also a glimmer of hope—a sense that, despite everything, love and friendship endure, and that the act of caring for others is itself a form of salvation.
Revisiting the Past
Ruth reconnects with Florence, an old friend from her life with Elliot, as she contemplates selling the Olive Street house. Their meeting is charged with nostalgia, regret, and the possibility of something more. The house becomes a symbol of the life Ruth has built and the lives she has left behind. As they walk through the rooms, memories surface—of Siddha's birth, of Florence's loyalty, and of the choices that have shaped Ruth's family. The past is both a comfort and a burden, and Ruth is forced to confront what she wants for her future.
Identity, Desire, and Change
Tobi, inspired by Bex and unsettled by her own restlessness, experiments with a binder and contemplates top surgery. The process is both liberating and disorienting, forcing her to confront questions of gender, desire, and selfhood. Her marriage to Evie, once a source of certainty, now feels fraught with unspoken tensions. Tobi's journey is mirrored by the other characters' struggles with identity—whether as parents, partners, or friends—and the ways in which change, even when desired, can be terrifying.
Old Houses, Old Friends
Ruth and Florence's collaboration on the Olive Street house deepens their connection, blurring the lines between friendship and something more. As they work together, Ruth is drawn to Florence's steadiness and the sense of possibility she represents. The house becomes a site of confession, where Ruth can admit her fears, her regrets, and her longing for a different kind of life. The chapter explores the tension between stability and adventure, and the ways in which the past can both anchor and imprison us.
Halloween, Honesty, and Help
Halloween brings chaos and comedy, but also a reckoning with the secrets and lies that have accumulated in the families. Caroline and Ruth discuss the complexities of donor conception, the challenges of parenting, and the need for outside help. The arrival of Florence at Caroline's house underscores the shifting perspectives of friendship and desire, while the children's questions about family and identity force the adults to confront the limits of their own understanding.
Sibling Bonds and Secrets
Tobi and Mike's sibling-like bond is explored through their shared work on a motorcycle and their conversations about family, gender, and loyalty. Their relationship is a source of comfort and strength, but also a reminder of the ways in which the past continues to shape the present. The secrets they keep—from their partners, from themselves—are both protective and isolating, and the chapter delves into the ways in which love and loyalty can be both a blessing and a curse.
Therapy and Truths
Caroline and Mike, prompted by their worries about Luca and the complexities of their extended family, seek out Marcia Glassie-Greene, a wise and compassionate therapist. Through therapy, they begin to untangle the knots of guilt, fear, and longing that have defined their parenting and their marriage. Marcia's guidance is both practical and profound, offering a new perspective on the challenges they face and the possibilities for healing and growth.
Resentment and Reconciliation
Ruth grapples with resentment—toward Wyn, toward her own choices, toward the relentless demands of motherhood. Yet, in the midst of frustration and fatigue, there are moments of connection and joy. A spontaneous detour with Wyn leads to intimacy and laughter, reminding Ruth of the love that underpins their partnership. The chapter is a testament to the endurance of love, even when it is tested by disappointment and regret.
Hardware Store Encounters
Tobi's visit to the hardware store brings her face-to-face with Siddha, now working for Hope. The encounter is brief but charged, a reminder of the ways in which the families' lives are intertwined. The hardware store, once Elliot's domain, becomes a place of new beginnings and unexpected connections, where grief and hope coexist.
Canoes, Conflicts, and Care
Mike and Tobi's training for the Rod triathlon is both a physical challenge and an emotional touchstone. Their camaraderie is a source of strength, but also a site of unresolved tension—about gender, about family, about the roles they play in each other's lives. Meanwhile, Caroline and Mike's disagreements about parenting and priorities come to a head, forcing them to confront the ways in which love can be both sustaining and suffocating.
Birthdays and Boundaries
Tobi's fiftieth birthday is marked by both celebration and uncertainty. Her relationship with Evie is tested by unspoken desires and the fear of change. The arrival of Bex at her birthday dinner is a catalyst for self-examination, prompting Tobi to question what she wants from her body, her marriage, and her future. The chapter explores the ways in which milestones can be both joyful and destabilizing, and how the boundaries of identity are always in flux.
Therapy, Tears, and Tiredness
Caroline returns to therapy alone, overwhelmed by fatigue and disappointment. Her session with Marcia is a release—a space to cry, to confess, to be seen. The act of naming her exhaustion is itself a form of healing, and Marcia's gentle presence offers a reminder that vulnerability is not weakness, but strength. The chapter is a meditation on the power of being witnessed, and the ways in which therapy can be both a refuge and a catalyst for change.
Pot Pie and Potentials
Ruth makes Siddha's favorite dinner, hoping to lure her back to the family table. The meal is a small act of love, a signal that reconciliation is possible even in the midst of conflict. The family's banter over dinner is both familiar and fraught, a reminder that the bonds of family are tested but not broken by anger and disappointment. The chapter ends with a sense of tentative hope, as Ruth and Siddha begin to find their way back to each other.
Listening Parties and Longings
At Bex's listening party, Tobi seeks answers about top surgery and identity. Their conversation is candid, awkward, and ultimately affirming—a reminder that the search for self is ongoing and that permission to change often comes from unexpected places. The party is a space of possibility, where longing and fear coexist, and where the act of listening—to music, to each other, to oneself—can be transformative.
Squash, Secrets, and Speculation
Ruth and Caroline sort squash and speculate about their therapist's life, using gossip as a way to connect and distract from their own anxieties. The conversation is light but layered, revealing the ways in which friendship is both a refuge and a site of competition. Secrets—about therapy, about affairs, about desires—bubble beneath the surface, threatening to disrupt the fragile equilibrium of their lives.
Garage Talks and Gender
Tobi and Mike work together on a Vespa, their conversation turning to Tobi's plans for top surgery. The exchange is awkward but supportive, a reminder that sometimes the most important affirmations come from those who know us best. The garage becomes a sanctuary, a place where gender, identity, and love can be discussed without judgment.
Stick-and-Poke and Support
Siddha gives herself a stick-and-poke tattoo, a gesture of grief and defiance. Caroline, unexpectedly, becomes her confidante and caretaker, offering practical advice and emotional support. The moment is both comic and poignant, a reminder that acts of rebellion are often cries for connection, and that support can come from unexpected quarters.
Beanfeast and Betrayal
At the annual Beanfeast, Ruth and Caroline's friendship is tested by secrets and confessions. Ruth's affair with Florence comes to light, and Caroline is forced to confront her own feelings of betrayal and jealousy. The event, meant to celebrate community, becomes a crucible for honesty and hurt, leaving both women uncertain about the future of their friendship.
Sliding Doors and Second Chances
Ruth and Florence's relationship reaches a turning point, as they acknowledge the impossibility of a future together. The chapter is suffused with longing and regret, but also with gratitude for what was shared. The sliding doors of the past—choices made and unmade—are a reminder that every ending is also a beginning, and that second chances are always possible, even if they take a different form than imagined.
Eggnog, Endings, and Exits
Florence's Eggnog Open House is both a celebration and a goodbye. Ruth attends, knowing that her affair with Florence must end for the sake of her family. The event is bittersweet, filled with laughter, nostalgia, and the quiet ache of parting. The chapter is a meditation on the ways in which traditions can both anchor us and set us free.
Surprises, Sledding, and Sorrow
Mike surprises Caroline with a Vespa, hoping to lift her spirits after a professional disappointment. The gesture is well-intentioned but misses the mark, highlighting the ways in which love can be both generous and misguided. Sledding and family gatherings offer moments of joy, but also underscore the persistent undercurrent of sorrow and longing that runs through the families.
Lasagna Solstice and Secrets
Tobi's mother visits, and the family gathers for a Lasagna Solstice, a tradition that brings warmth and connection. Yet, beneath the surface, secrets simmer—about gender, about surgery, about loyalty. The chapter explores the ways in which rituals can both mask and reveal the complexities of family life, and how the act of gathering together is itself an act of hope.
Loyalty, Lists, and Loss
Caroline reflects on loyalty—what it means in marriage, in friendship, in family. Her fight with Ruth leaves her adrift, questioning the nature of trust and the limits of forgiveness. The lists we keep—of lovers, of grievances, of hopes—are both a record and a reckoning, and the chapter ends with the sense that loss is both inevitable and survivable.
Family Therapy, Family Message
The four parents—Caroline, Mike, Tobi, and Evie—attend a joint session with Marcia, seeking clarity on how to talk to their children about their unconventional family structure. Marcia reframes the question, urging them to focus on the message of love, care, and commitment that underpins their choices. The session is both cathartic and challenging, offering a new way forward that embraces complexity and fluidity.
Forgiveness, Flotillas, and Futures
Siddha and Ruth meet for lunch, tentatively rebuilding their relationship. Ruth offers honesty and humility, acknowledging her mistakes and her fierce love for Siddha. The families gather for a May Day party at the hardware store, launching a flotilla of paper boats in memory of Elliot. The act is both a farewell and a celebration, a gesture of forgiveness and hope that signals the possibility of new beginnings.
Reunion and Repair
Caroline, missing Ruth, reaches out with a text, breaking the silence that has grown between them. Their conversation is a balm, filled with laughter, gossip, and the comfort of shared history. The act of reaching out—of risking vulnerability—is itself an act of repair, and the chapter ends with the sense that, whatever has been broken, friendship endures.
Paper Boats Down the Creek
At the May Day party, the families come together—old wounds healing, new bonds forming. The children launch paper boats down the creek, a ritual of remembrance and release. The scene is suffused with light, laughter, and the promise of spring. The story ends not with resolution, but with the ongoing work of love, forgiveness, and belonging—a family, like a flotilla, moving forward together.
Characters
Ruth Schwartz-Huntley
Ruth is the emotional center of the Schwartz-Huntley family, a woman whose fierce love for her children is matched only by her capacity for self-doubt and longing. Her relationship with Wyn is both a source of strength and a site of tension, as Ruth grapples with the compromises and resentments that come with marriage and motherhood. Ruth's past—with Elliot, with Florence—haunts her, shaping her choices and her fears. She is introspective, witty, and deeply loyal, but her need for control and her fear of loss often lead her to keep secrets, even from those she loves most. Over the course of the story, Ruth learns to accept imperfection—in herself, in her family, in her friendships—and to find grace in the messiness of love.
Wyn Huntley
Wyn is Ruth's wife, a woman of action and ambition whose drive is both inspiring and exhausting. Raised in privilege, Wyn is used to getting what she wants, but her restlessness and need for new projects often leave Ruth feeling left behind. Wyn's love for Ruth and their children is unwavering, but she struggles to express vulnerability, preferring to solve problems through action rather than emotion. Her relationship with Ruth is marked by both deep affection and periodic frustration, as the two navigate the challenges of blended family life, career changes, and the search for meaning beyond motherhood.
Siddha Schwartz-Huntley
Siddha is Ruth's eldest child, the product of a brief, passionate relationship with Elliot. Intelligent, sensitive, and fiercely independent, Siddha is both a mirror and a challenge to Ruth. The revelation of her true parentage—and the loss of her biological father—propels Siddha into a period of rebellion and grief. Her journey is one of self-discovery, as she seeks to understand her origins, her place in the family, and her own desires. Siddha's anger is both a shield and a plea for connection, and her eventual reconciliation with Ruth is hard-won and deeply moving.
Caroline Caruso-Gallagher
Caroline is Ruth's closest friend, a woman whose outward poise masks deep insecurities about motherhood, marriage, and belonging. Her marriage to Mike is loving but strained by financial pressures and the challenges of raising their son, Luca. Caroline's friendship with Ruth is a lifeline, but also a source of competition and jealousy, especially as secrets and betrayals come to light. Caroline is introspective, self-deprecating, and fiercely loyal, but her fear of abandonment and her longing for affirmation often lead her to withdraw when hurt. Through therapy and honest conversation, Caroline learns to accept her own needs and to forgive both herself and those she loves.
Mike Gallagher
Mike is Caroline's husband and Tobi's cousin, a man whose difficult childhood has made him both resilient and emotionally reserved. He is a devoted father to Luca and a loyal friend to Tobi, but his tendency to avoid conflict and his discomfort with vulnerability sometimes leave Caroline feeling alone. Mike's role as a sperm donor for Tobi and Evie's twins complicates his sense of family and responsibility, forcing him to navigate the boundaries between biological and chosen kin. His understated strength and capacity for forgiveness are essential to the family's ability to weather storms.
Tobi Fynch
Tobi is Evie's wife, a potter whose creative drive is matched by a restless search for self-understanding. Her bond with Mike is sibling-like, forged in the crucible of shared hardship and mutual support. Tobi's journey toward top surgery is both a personal and relational challenge, as she navigates her own desires, Evie's fears, and the expectations of their community. Tobi is practical, loyal, and quietly brave, but her reluctance to articulate her needs sometimes leads to misunderstanding and hurt. Her eventual honesty—with herself, with Evie, with Mike—opens the door to transformation and healing.
Evie Gold
Evie is Tobi's wife and business partner, a woman whose drive and charisma have built GoldFynch Pottery into a local institution. She is fiercely protective of her family and her marriage, but her need for control and her discomfort with uncertainty make Tobi's journey toward top surgery especially challenging. Evie is analytical, passionate, and sometimes prickly, but her capacity for love and her willingness to fight for her family are unwavering. Her relationship with Tobi is tested by change, but ultimately deepened by honesty and vulnerability.
Florence Howe
Florence is Ruth's former friend and Elliot's confidante, a woman whose reentry into Ruth's life stirs up old feelings and new possibilities. Practical, witty, and emotionally astute, Florence represents both the road not taken and the enduring power of connection. Her affair with Ruth is brief but transformative, forcing Ruth to confront her own desires, regrets, and capacity for forgiveness. Florence's ability to let go with grace is a model for Ruth, and her presence lingers as a reminder that love can take many forms.
Bex Devereux
Bex is a musician and ranch hand whose confidence and authenticity inspire both admiration and envy. Their presence in the community is disruptive in the best way, challenging assumptions about gender, desire, and belonging. Bex's openness about top surgery and their willingness to mentor Tobi are acts of generosity, and their flirtatious energy brings both excitement and tension to the group. Bex is a symbol of possibility, a reminder that self-invention is always within reach.
Marcia Glassie-Greene
Marcia is the therapist who helps the families navigate the complexities of modern kinship, identity, and loss. Compassionate, insightful, and unflappable, Marcia creates a space where vulnerability is safe and transformation is possible. Her guidance reframes the challenges the families face, shifting the focus from problems to messages of love, care, and commitment. Marcia's presence is a steadying force, and her belief in the families' capacity for healing is both a comfort and a call to courage.
Plot Devices
Interwoven Narratives and Shifting Perspectives
The novel employs a braided narrative structure, alternating between the perspectives of Ruth, Caroline, Tobi, and others. This allows for a rich exploration of the ways in which individual choices ripple through families and friendships, and how the boundaries between self and other are constantly negotiated. The shifting points of view create a sense of intimacy and immediacy, drawing the reader into the emotional lives of the characters and highlighting the interconnectedness of their stories.
Secrets, Revelations, and the Limits of Honesty
Secrets—about parentage, desire, betrayal, and regret—are central to the novel's tension. The gradual revelation of these secrets drives the plot, forcing characters to confront the consequences of their choices and the limits of their own understanding. The novel explores the paradox that honesty can both heal and harm, and that sometimes, forgiveness requires accepting what cannot be changed or fully known.
Rituals, Traditions, and the Passage of Time
The story is punctuated by rituals—Sukkot, Beanfeast, birthdays, New Year's bonfires, May Day parties—that serve as both anchors and catalysts for change. These events bring the families together, providing opportunities for connection, conflict, and reflection. The cyclical nature of the calendar mirrors the cycles of grief, forgiveness, and renewal that define the characters' lives.
Therapy as Narrative Device
The inclusion of therapy sessions with Marcia Glassie-Greene provides both a structural and thematic framework for the novel. Therapy is not just a plot point, but a lens through which the characters—and the reader—can examine the complexities of family, identity, and love. Marcia's interventions offer both practical advice and philosophical insight, reframing challenges as opportunities for growth and connection.
Foreshadowing and Recurrence
The novel is rich with foreshadowing—early references to secrets, desires, and regrets that are later revealed in full. Recurring motifs—such as the pond, the hardware store, the Olive Street house, and the act of making or breaking bread—create a sense of continuity and resonance. The past is never fully past; it recurs in memory, in ritual, and in the choices the characters make.
Analysis
Like Family is a deeply contemporary exploration of what it means to belong—to a partner, to a child, to a friend, to a community. Erin O. White's novel is both a celebration and a critique of the modern family, with all its improvisations, contradictions, and hard-won joys. The story refuses easy answers, instead embracing the complexity of real life: secrets are kept and revealed, love is both sustaining and suffocating, and forgiveness is a process rather than a destination. The novel's greatest insight is that family is not a static entity, but a living, evolving network of care, commitment, and courage. Through its interwoven narratives and richly drawn characters, Like Family invites readers to consider the ways in which we are all, always, making and remaking our families—through honesty, through ritual, through the willingness to risk vulnerability and to begin again. The lesson is not that perfection is possible, but that grace can be found in the ongoing work of loving and being loved, even—and especially—when it is hardest.
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