Higher Status

1. High Status is an Action-Based Signal, Not Material Possessions

Understand: the psychology side of success and achievement—that’s a small side dish. The juicy steak, the main course that’s going to feed your spirit and help get you the life of your dreams on a silver platter, is your actions, your behaviors, your status signal.

Actions over thoughts. True high status isn't about expensive cars, designer clothes, or prestigious titles; these are merely "ornamentations" or "false status signals." Instead, it's about "honest signals"—behaviors that cannot be faked and are instinctively recognized by the human brain. These signals are rooted in our evolutionary past, allowing us to quickly assess whether someone is high or low status, a winner or a loser, someone to do business with or date.

Subconscious judgment. Scientists at Harvard and Oxford have found that our brains instinctively tune into another person's status signal in less than one hundredth of a second. This "invisible status judgment" determines how others perceive us—whether we're seen as safe or a threat, worthy of a promotion, or desirable as a partner. This rapid assessment is a natural protective function, making it crucial to broadcast high-status signals consistently.

Benefits of high status. Emitting high-status signals unlocks numerous advantages in life, transforming relationships, finances, and overall well-being. These benefits include:

• Effortless attraction from the opposite sex
• Increased financial stability and quicker promotions
• Better relationships with family and friends, commanding respect
• Increased networking opportunities and a planned purpose in life
• Unexpected perks and improved health, leading to longevity

2. Your High-Status Destiny Fuels Everything

Remember, your destiny isn’t something you find under a rock. It’s something to be created, nurtured, developed. You—only you—can grant yourself permission needed to start creating it now.

Purpose-driven life. High-status individuals possess a "grand, unique purpose" for being on this planet, which eliminates uncertainty and fuels their daily excitement. Unlike those who drift through life feeling insignificant, they actively create and nurture their destiny. This internal fire, once ignited, becomes a powerful energy source that others immediately recognize and are drawn to.

Beyond shallow success. Many achieve conventional success (money, status symbols) but still feel an inner emptiness due to a lack of purpose. The author's own story of financial success followed by a period of aimless living and financial ruin highlights this. A true "enough is enough" moment, like Michael Jordan being cut from his high school team or the author's inability to donate $10, can be the catalyst for committing to a higher purpose.

Contagious commitment. Dedicating oneself to a high-status destiny simplifies life by providing a "laserlike focus." Decisions become easy: "Does this serve my purpose or not?" This decisiveness is inherently attractive, as humans are wired to follow those who are certain, even if not always right. This commitment also inspires others, creating a ripple effect where friends and family are motivated to pursue their own passions, transforming their lives from "gravelike" monotony to adventurous purpose.

3. Master Your Non-Verbal Communication

High-status people will make themselves comfortable first.

Body language speaks volumes. Approximately 60-65% of all interpersonal communication is nonverbal, yet most people focus only on spoken words (7%). Body language is an "honest signal" that cannot be faked, instantly conveying status. High-status individuals prioritize their own comfort, which subconsciously grants others permission to relax, making them natural leaders in any room.

OGSP framework. High-status body language is defined by four simple components:

• Open: Right and left joints (wrists, elbows, knees, ankles) are farther apart, taking up more space without being obnoxious.
• Grounded: Energy feeds back into the body, remaining present and firmly rooted, even when challenged.
• Slow: Movements are controlled and graceful, indicating comfort and lack of nervousness.
• Priding: Exuding pride in oneself and one's actions, comfortable with attention.
  This contrasts sharply with low-status behaviors like fidgeting, closed postures, and rushed movements.

Voice and walk as signals. Your vocal tonality is another sincere honest signal. High-status voices are authoritative, clear, unaffected by others, interesting (varying pitch/volume), and occasionally "break rapport" (e.g., playful teasing). Similarly, a high-status walk is tall and open, purposeful, smooth and controlled, casually sexy, and looks beyond the crowd. These non-verbal cues, when practiced, become natural and powerfully attractive.

4. Control Your Internal State and Emotions

How you feel is entirely within your control, and this simple exercise shows you have the power to affect your state whenever you want, simply by using your body.

Mastering your mood. "State" refers to your mood or how you feel in a given moment, and "state control" is the ability to master your emotions, consistently feeling positive regardless of external factors. Your most frequent state becomes your "default setting." The author's contrasting experiences with email server crashes—one leading to anger and drinking, the other to calm problem-solving—illustrate the power of this mastery.

Debunking state myths. Common lies about state include:

• "You're along for the ride": This suggests emotions are uncontrollable, but physical actions (like jumping and shouting "I love myself!") can instantly shift your state.
• "You're born with it (or not)": State control is a muscle, like physical endurance, that improves with consistent practice.
• "Everything that makes you feel good is good": Hedonic pleasure (drugs, alcohol) offers temporary highs but leads to negative cellular effects, while eudaimonic purpose (deeper meaning) fosters long-term health and well-being.

Nonreactive resilience. High-status individuals are "nonreactive," meaning their state is minimally affected by external people, circumstances, or environments. This allows for rational thought and action, even in high-tension situations. John F. Kennedy's calm leadership after his ship sank during WWII exemplifies this. Practices like interpretation awareness (choosing positive meanings), health and nutrition (daily sweat, real food, fasting), physical anchoring (linking physical actions to positive emotions), thought loops ("I love myself"), physical challenges (cold showers, isometric holds), and daily meditation build this crucial muscle.

5. Cultivate Carefreeness and Allure

Being carefree means you don’t focus on the outcome, but rather on your own actions. Our own actions are entirely within our circle of influence, while most outcomes are within our circle of concern.

Influence vs. concern. Carefreeness is a high-status trait characterized by a "merry indifference" and a focus on what's within one's control. The "circles of concern and influence" exercise reveals that worry-prone individuals focus on external factors (circle of concern), while carefree people prioritize their actions (circle of influence). Steve Jobs selling a computer to the King of Spain, unconcerned with the outcome, exemplifies this.

Internal validation. Relying on external recognition for validation leads to constant stress and a "bitter" feeling. The solution is to "drink from your own sources," becoming your own coach and evaluating yourself based on your behaviors, not external outcomes. This "light grip" on life makes one naturally alluring, as opposed to needy or "approval rats" constantly chasing external validation.

Pursued, not pursuing. Carefree individuals are naturally pursued by others because they don't need approval and are constantly moving forward on their high-status destiny. Dean Martin, the "King of Cool," exemplified this, prioritizing his golf and personal life, leading to others (like TV executives) pursuing him with better offers. Embracing adventurous living, like the author's spontaneous trip to Colombia, also strengthens this "carefree muscle," making one more dynamic and attractive.

6. Embrace High-Status Truth and Build Deep Rapport

The world will accept the judgment you place on yourself.

Truth as objectivity. Truth is "that which is," aiming for objectivity despite the "bullshit" that clouds modern perception. High-status truth involves expressing genuine feelings, even when difficult, to foster authentic connections. Avoiding truth to "save" a relationship actually pushes people away and hinders their growth, as seen in the example of the friend with the failing app.

Benefits of truth-telling. Giving high-status truth makes you:

• Stand out: Rare and authentic in a world of "verbal constipation."
• Better understood: Fulfills a basic human need to understand and be understood.
• Magnetic: Your energy signals presence and a willingness to call out "bullshit."
• Opens others up: By "going first" (like Bill Gates' confrontational style), you create an environment for honesty.
  The key is to approach with genuine care and good intentions, making the other person feel safe, not threatened.

Rapport as responsiveness. Rapport is a "relationship of responsiveness," where people readily respond to your requests and trust you. It's not about mirroring or finding commonalities in a needy way. Strong rapport is built on good intentions and avoiding blatant disagreement (e.g., Robert Downey Jr.'s "smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were going to do anyway"). Key factors for rapport include shared goals, common enemies, shared experiences (like golf), and strong emotions.

Accelerating rapport. To build rapport quickly, cultivate curiosity (asking about aims, ambitions, joys - AAJ) and use "rapport energizers":

• Ben Franklin trick: Asking for a small favor makes others like you more.
• Confessions: Admitting mistakes (like Warren Buffett) builds trust.
• Sharing a secret: Creates intimacy and compels others to reciprocate.
• Mere-exposure effect: Consistent, non-overwhelming exposure (like handwritten letters) increases liking.
• Recognition: Uniquely remembering and acknowledging others.
• Reciprocity: Thoughtful gift-giving or kind actions compel return.
• Break rapport: Playful teasing or "breaking personality" can rapidly build deep connection.

7. Project Charisma Through Certainty and Passion

What creates charisma is a sense of certainty.

Certainty in motion. Charisma is fundamentally a "sense of certainty." Charismatic individuals are decisive and never hesitate, even if they're not always right. This "certainty in motion" is powerfully attractive, as people are drawn to leaders who know where they're going. The "jaywalker study" showed that seven times more people followed a confident, decisive jaywalker than a hesitant one.

Decisiveness is key. In a world flooded with indecisive people, quick, decisive decision-making signals high status and trustworthiness. Julius Caesar, kidnapped by pirates, boldly demanded a higher ransom and later crucified them, demonstrating extreme decisiveness. Dan Peña's mentorship of Rick Scott, leading to a multi-billion dollar company, also highlights the power of immediate, decisive action.

Passion as fuel. True passion, a "healthy obsession" that transcends mere interest, is a core ingredient of charisma. Many drift through life lacking passion due to external expectations or constant distractions (like technology). Leonardo DiCaprio's unwavering commitment to his craft and his friendships exemplifies this. Cultivating passion, whether for fantasy football or online coding, makes one a rare and attractive individual, drawing others in.

8. Craft Your High-Status Style and Environment

People do judge a book by its cover. We may have the best products and software, but if we present in a slipshod manner, they’ll be perceived as slipshod.

Style as a first impression. High-status style is a deliberate choice to captivate attention, signal status, and become unforgettable. It's not about money, but about conscious presentation. Mike Markkula's "empathy, focus, impute" philosophy for Apple emphasized that presentation (style) imputes desired qualities. The "halo effect" means a great first impression leads others to attribute many other positive qualities to you, and "belief perseverance" ensures this impression sticks.

Incongruity and signaling. To catch attention without "trying too hard" (like Björk's swan dress), employ the "incongruity theory"—be slightly incompatible with your environment. David Ogilvy, the advertising legend, wore capes and kilts to stand out in New York City. Once attention is captured, signal high status by modeling celebrities whose style you admire, creating a personal "brand" that dictates what you will and won't wear.

Unforgettable presence. To be unforgettable, ensure your clothing fits perfectly (tailor everything, even T-shirts) and incorporate "imprint triggers"—subtle accessories that give you added appeal and are easily recalled. The "availability-misweighting bias" means people value what they can easily remember. Your environment also plays a crucial role: leaders deliberately create surroundings that "raise them up," free from gossip, interruptions, and negative influences, fostering sustained exposure to positive influences.

Last updated: July 31, 2025