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A Wish for Us

A Wish for Us

by Tillie Cole 2018 342 pages
4.33
23.9K ratings
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Plot Summary

Colors in the Night

A DJ lost in color

Cromwell Dean, a prodigy-turned-DJ, commands a club in Brighton, England, seeing music as bursts of color due to his synesthesia. Despite the crowd's euphoria, he feels numb, disconnected from the world and himself. Amidst the neon chaos, a girl in a lavender aura stands still, absorbing his music with a serene sadness. Her presence unsettles him, hinting at a deeper connection he can't yet name. After the show, Cromwell's night spirals into emptiness, haunted by the colors he can't escape and the girl who didn't dance.

The Girl in Lavender

A fateful beach encounter

On a cold Brighton beach, Cromwell meets Bonnie Farraday, the girl from the club. She critiques his music as soulless, piercing his defenses. Their conversation is raw, Bonnie's words challenging Cromwell's numbness and hinting at his lost passion for classical music. She leaves him with her blanket, a gesture of unexpected kindness. Cromwell is left shaken, her words echoing in his mind, stirring emotions he's long tried to bury.

New Beginnings, Old Wounds

A reluctant fresh start

Months later, Cromwell transfers to a small college in South Carolina, escaping his past and his mother's pleas. He meets his exuberant roommate Easton and is quickly drawn into campus life. Yet, the wounds of his father's death and his own self-imposed isolation linger. Cromwell's reputation as a DJ precedes him, but he remains emotionally distant, haunted by memories and the colors that music brings.

Unlikely Partners

Forced collaboration breeds tension

Cromwell and Bonnie are paired for a year-long music composition project under the guidance of Professor Lewis. Their initial meetings are fraught with conflict—Bonnie's earnestness clashes with Cromwell's cynicism. She pushes him to feel, to create with meaning, while he resists, hiding behind electronic beats. Their partnership is rocky, but beneath the friction, a spark of understanding begins to kindle.

Music Without Soul

Confronting creative emptiness

Bonnie challenges Cromwell's approach to music, accusing him of lacking soul. Their project stalls, and Bonnie's disappointment is palpable. Cromwell's anger masks his fear of vulnerability, but Bonnie's persistence chips away at his defenses. A late-night encounter in the music room reveals Cromwell's hidden talent for classical instruments, witnessed by Bonnie in a moment of raw, tearful beauty. This exposure marks a turning point, as Bonnie glimpses the true depth of his pain and genius.

Secrets Behind the Keys

The pain of the past revealed

Cromwell's synesthesia and his traumatic history with his father's death come to light. Bonnie learns that music once brought Cromwell joy, but now it's a source of agony and regret. Their connection deepens as they share their wounds—Bonnie's own struggles with illness and loss surface. Together, they begin to compose, blending their talents and vulnerabilities, forging a partnership that transcends music.

The Heart's True Rhythm

Love and music intertwine

As their collaboration flourishes, so does their attraction. Cromwell and Bonnie's relationship shifts from antagonism to intimacy, each inspiring the other to heal and create. Their music becomes a testament to their journey, a symphony of pain, hope, and love. Yet, the specter of Bonnie's failing heart looms, casting a shadow over their newfound happiness.

Breaking Through Walls

Facing mortality and truth

Bonnie's health deteriorates, and she confides in Cromwell about her terminal heart condition. The revelation devastates him, but also galvanizes their bond. Cromwell vows to stand by her, channeling his emotions into their composition. Together, they confront the reality of limited time, choosing to love fiercely and create something lasting in the face of impending loss.

Notes of Vulnerability

The fragility of hope

As Bonnie's condition worsens, the couple's world narrows to hospital rooms and whispered promises. Easton, Bonnie's twin, struggles with his own demons, his mental health unraveling under the weight of his sister's decline. The trio clings to music as a lifeline, pouring their fears and dreams into the composition. Every note becomes a prayer, every lyric a wish for more time.

Love in Minor Key

A night of firsts and lasts

Cromwell and Bonnie share a night of intimacy, both physical and emotional, knowing it may be their last. Their love is tender, desperate, and real—a defiant act against fate. They finish their composition, a piece that captures their journey from pain to hope. The music becomes their legacy, a testament to the love that transformed them both.

The Weight of Loss

Grief and sacrifice

Bonnie's heart fails, and she is hospitalized, her life hanging by a thread. Easton, unable to bear the thought of losing his twin, succumbs to his own despair. In a tragic twist, his death provides the heart that saves Bonnie's life. The cost of survival is immense—Bonnie awakens with Easton's heart, her grief compounded by guilt and sorrow.

A Wish for Us

The struggle to heal

Bonnie's recovery is marked by emotional numbness. She pushes Cromwell away, unable to reconcile her survival with Easton's death. Cromwell, shattered but determined, pours his anguish into music, composing a symphony that tells their story. Professor Lewis, revealed as Cromwell's biological father, becomes an unexpected source of support, helping him channel his pain into creation.

The Gift of Sound

A symphony of love and loss

Cromwell's composition debuts at a prestigious gala, blending classical and electronic music, weaving in the sounds of Bonnie's and Easton's heartbeats. The performance is a triumph, a cathartic release for Cromwell and a beacon of hope for Bonnie. The music rekindles her passion, reminding her of the beauty and meaning still possible in life.

The Price of Survival

Learning to live again

Bonnie grapples with survivor's guilt, haunted by Easton's sacrifice. With Cromwell's unwavering love and the healing power of music, she slowly reclaims her will to live. Their relationship, tested by tragedy, emerges stronger, rooted in shared pain and the promise of a future built on hope and remembrance.

The Symphony of Goodbye

Honoring the past, embracing the future

At Easton's funeral, Cromwell plays "Wings," Bonnie's song, as a final tribute. The act brings closure, allowing Bonnie to grieve and begin to heal. Together, they visit Easton's grave, finding peace in the knowledge that his heart beats on within Bonnie. Their love becomes a living memorial, a bridge between loss and life.

The Color of Hope

Choosing life, choosing love

Bonnie and Cromwell reunite, determined to live fully in honor of those they've lost. They travel, create, and dream together, building a life rich with meaning and music. Bonnie's new heart, a gift from her brother, becomes a symbol of resilience and the enduring power of love.

A Heart for a Heart

A future rewritten

Years pass, and Bonnie and Cromwell marry, welcoming a son named Easton. Their family is a testament to survival, love, and the transformative power of art. Cromwell's music continues to inspire, colored by the journey that brought him back to life. Bonnie, once on the brink of death, thrives, her heart strong and her spirit unbroken.

The Music Remains

Legacy of love and sound

In the epilogue, Cromwell, Bonnie, and their son visit Easton's grave, surrounded by music and memories. The colors of their lives—joy, sorrow, hope—blend into a symphony that endures. Their story is one of healing, of wishes granted and dreams realized, a reminder that even in the face of loss, the music of love remains.

Healing in Harmony

A life illuminated by love

The story closes with the family at peace, the pain of the past transformed into gratitude for the present. Cromwell's synesthesia, once a source of torment, now colors a world filled with meaning. Bonnie's laughter, their son's joy, and the music they share are the notes that compose their happily ever after—a wish fulfilled, a song that never ends.

Characters

Cromwell Dean

Haunted prodigy seeking meaning

Cromwell is a British musical genius with synesthesia, seeing music as color. Traumatized by his father's death and burdened by guilt, he abandons classical music for the emotional numbness of electronic beats. His journey is one of rediscovering vulnerability, love, and purpose through his partnership with Bonnie. Cromwell's psychological arc is a battle between self-protection and the courage to feel, culminating in the creation of a symphony that honors both his pain and his hope. His relationships—with Bonnie, Easton, and Professor Lewis—are fraught with longing, regret, and ultimately, redemption.

Bonnie Farraday

Resilient dreamer facing mortality

Bonnie is a passionate musician and lyricist, her life defined by a failing heart and an indomitable spirit. She challenges Cromwell to create with soul, pushing him to confront his wounds. Bonnie's own journey is marked by acceptance of her mortality, the pain of loss, and the struggle to find meaning in survival. Her love for Cromwell is transformative, giving her the strength to fight for life and inspiring the music that becomes their legacy. Her relationship with Easton, her twin, is deeply symbiotic, their bond both a source of comfort and heartbreak.

Easton Farraday

Fragile soul, loyal twin

Easton is Bonnie's exuberant, artistic brother, masking his bipolar disorder and inner turmoil with humor and bravado. His love for Bonnie is fierce, but her decline triggers his own unraveling. Easton's suicide, a desperate act of love and escape, becomes the ultimate sacrifice, his heart saving Bonnie's life. His presence lingers as both a source of grief and a symbol of hope, his memory guiding Bonnie and Cromwell toward healing.

Professor Lewis

Estranged father, mentor, and mirror

Lewis is a renowned composer and Cromwell's biological father, a man haunted by addiction and regret. His synesthesia and musical genius parallel Cromwell's, creating a complex dynamic of rivalry, mentorship, and longing. Lewis's journey is one of atonement, seeking connection with the son he never knew and helping Cromwell channel his pain into art. His presence forces Cromwell to confront questions of identity, legacy, and forgiveness.

Mrs. Farraday

Steadfast mother, quiet strength

Bonnie and Easton's mother is a pillar of support, her love unwavering in the face of tragedy. She navigates the loss of one child and the near-loss of another with grace and resilience, anchoring the family through their darkest hours. Her relationship with Bonnie is nurturing, her grief for Easton profound, yet she remains a source of hope and stability.

Mr. Farraday

Protective father, silent sufferer

Bonnie and Easton's father is a man of few words, his pain often hidden beneath stoicism. He struggles to support his children through illness and loss, his own grief manifesting in quiet acts of love. His bond with Bonnie is tender, his devastation at Easton's death palpable. He represents the enduring strength of family in the face of unimaginable hardship.

Cromwell's Mother

Haunted by secrets, seeking peace

Cromwell's mother carries the burden of past choices—her relationship with Lewis, her marriage to Cromwell's adoptive father, and the loss of her husband. Her attempts to protect Cromwell often backfire, contributing to his sense of alienation. Her eventual honesty about Cromwell's parentage is a catalyst for his reconciliation with his identity and his art.

Kacey

Kind-hearted friend, collateral heartbreak

Kacey is a fellow student drawn to Cromwell, her affection unrequited. She represents the collateral damage of Cromwell's emotional detachment, her brief involvement with him highlighting his struggle to connect. Kacey's presence underscores the theme of longing and the consequences of unresolved pain.

Bryce

Supportive friend, unrequited love

Bryce is Bonnie's classmate and would-be suitor, offering her stability and kindness. His feelings for Bonnie are sincere but unreciprocated, his role serving as a foil to Cromwell's intensity. Bryce's friendship is a reminder of the different forms love can take and the importance of letting go.

Clara

Compassionate caregiver, gentle guide

Clara is Bonnie's nurse during her decline, providing medical support and emotional comfort. Her presence is a balm during Bonnie's darkest moments, her care enabling Bonnie to focus on love and music. Clara embodies the quiet heroism of those who tend to the suffering, her kindness a testament to the power of empathy.

Plot Devices

Synesthesia as Emotional Lens

Music's color as metaphor for feeling

Cromwell's synesthesia is both a literal and symbolic device, externalizing his emotional state and creative process. The colors he sees reflect his inner turmoil, joy, and healing, making the abstract tangible. This device bridges the gap between art and emotion, allowing readers to experience music's impact viscerally. It also serves as a narrative thread, connecting characters and events through shared sensory experience.

Dual Narration and Shifting Perspectives

Alternating voices deepen empathy

The story alternates between Cromwell and Bonnie's perspectives, offering intimate access to their thoughts, fears, and desires. This structure fosters empathy, revealing the complexity of their struggles and the evolution of their relationship. The dual narration also heightens tension, as secrets and revelations unfold from both sides, culminating in moments of profound connection and heartbreak.

Music as Healing and Legacy

Art as both wound and salve

Music is the central motif, representing both the source of pain and the path to healing. The act of composing, performing, and listening becomes a means of processing trauma, expressing love, and forging identity. The collaborative composition project is a microcosm of the characters' journeys, their music a living testament to their resilience and hope. The final symphony, blending classical and electronic elements, embodies the synthesis of past and present, loss and renewal.

Foreshadowing and Symbolism

Subtle hints of fate and sacrifice

The narrative employs foreshadowingBonnie's declining health, Easton's struggles, the recurring motif of wishes and colors—to build suspense and emotional resonance. Symbols such as the blanket, the piano, and the heartbeats reinforce themes of comfort, vulnerability, and the fragility of life. The wish motif, culminating in the title "A Wish for Us," encapsulates the longing for more time, more love, and the courage to hope.

Tragic Irony and Catharsis

Sacrifice as the price of survival

The story's central tragedy—Easton's death providing the heart that saves Bonnie—embodies the cruel irony of fate. This device heightens the emotional stakes, forcing characters to grapple with guilt, gratitude, and the meaning of survival. The catharsis comes through music, as the characters transform their pain into art, finding solace and purpose in creation.

Analysis

A Wish for Us is a luminous exploration of love, loss, and the redemptive power of art. Through the intertwined journeys of Cromwell and Bonnie, Tillie Cole crafts a narrative that is both heartrending and hopeful, inviting readers to confront the fragility of life and the necessity of vulnerability. The novel's use of synesthesia as a narrative device elevates music from mere backdrop to living character, its colors and rhythms mirroring the protagonists' emotional landscapes. At its core, the story is a meditation on the ways we heal—through connection, through creation, and through the willingness to feel deeply, even when it hurts. The sacrifices made—Easton's ultimate gift, Bonnie's fight for life, Cromwell's surrender to feeling—underscore the truth that love is both risk and reward. The novel challenges us to embrace the full spectrum of experience, to find beauty in pain, and to believe in the possibility of wishes coming true, even in the face of overwhelming odds. In a world often dulled by cynicism, A Wish for Us is a vibrant reminder that the music of the heart endures, coloring our lives with meaning, memory, and hope.

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Review Summary

4.33 out of 5
Average of 23.9K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

A Wish for Us is a deeply emotional and heartbreaking romance that captivated readers with its unique portrayal of music, colors, and love. Many praised Tillie Cole's beautiful writing and the characters' development, particularly Cromwell's journey. The story explores themes of healing, loss, and the power of music. While some found it predictable or overly dramatic, most readers were moved to tears and considered it a standout in the genre. Trigger warnings for heavy topics were noted, and tissues were deemed essential for this moving tale.

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About the Author

Tillie Cole is a bestselling author known for her emotional and dark romances. Born and raised in Teesside, England, she later moved to Newcastle for university. After years of reading, Cole decided to write her own novel, combining her love for glitter, humor, and brooding men. Her writing often incorporates serious topics within fantasy stories. Cole's background includes teaching high school Social Studies and traveling Europe with her rugby player husband. They have now settled in Calgary, Alberta, where she continues to write and occasionally pursues her dreams of becoming a barrel-racing cowgirl.

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