Womanhood

1. Reclaiming the Narrative: Naming and Owning the Female Body

So many women avoid naming their ‘bits’ at all.

Language shapes perception. The author highlights the lack of established, positive vocabulary for female genitalia, noting that existing terms are often "under-whelming and devaluing." This absence of empowering language contributes to women's disconnection from their own bodies.

Breaking the silence. The book aims to challenge this silence by encouraging women to use accurate and respectful terms like "vulva" and "vagina," fostering a sense of ownership and control over their own anatomy. This act of naming is a crucial step in reclaiming the narrative surrounding the female body.

Personal and political. By giving voice to women's experiences, the book seeks to dismantle the shame and stigma associated with female anatomy, paving the way for a more open and honest dialogue about women's health, sexuality, and overall well-being. This reclamation of language is not just a personal act, but a political one, challenging societal norms and empowering women to define themselves on their own terms.

2. Beyond the Male Gaze: Women Seeing Themselves

For some women it was the very first time they had seen their vulva.

Intimacy with self. The author notes that many women had never truly seen their own vulvas before participating in the project, highlighting a profound disconnect between women and their own bodies. This lack of self-awareness is often perpetuated by societal emphasis on the male gaze.

Challenging the ideal. The book's photographs aim to disrupt the "tidy pussy of porn" ideal, showcasing the diversity and beauty of real vulvas and encouraging women to feel comfortable and proud in their own skin. This visual representation of female anatomy is a powerful tool for self-acceptance and body positivity.

Shifting the focus. By encouraging women to see their vulvas as living body parts, isolated from any sexual or birthing context, the book empowers them to occupy their bodies from a place of pleasure, not an anxious imagining through a lover's eyes. This shift in perspective is crucial for fostering self-love and sexual empowerment.

3. The Complex Tapestry of Female Experience: Trauma, Pleasure, and Everything In Between

Talking about vulvas and vaginas grants access to our deepest shame, our fiercest pleasure, our most intimate moments and the most terrible traumas.

A spectrum of experiences. The book delves into the full spectrum of female experience, from pleasure and joy to pain and trauma, acknowledging that women's lives are never singular. This holistic approach challenges simplistic narratives and celebrates the complexity of womanhood.

Unveiling hidden realities. The author notes being stunned by the multiple stories of childhood grooming, sexual abuse, assault, rape, and medical and birth trauma woven into the tapestry of women's lives. This revelation underscores the pervasive nature of injustice and the need for greater awareness and support.

Finding strength in rage. The author emphasizes the importance of tapping into the "reservoir of rage" provoked by these stories, recognizing it as a source of "quiet, deep, warrior-like strength" that can empower women to assert their opinions, set boundaries, and stand in solidarity with one another.

4. Sisterhood and Solidarity: Finding Strength in Shared Stories

When you read this sisterhood of stories and witness these women’s tender parts laid bare, I hope you find compassion and understanding for them and sense their power.

Breaking isolation. The book aims to combat the separation and isolation of modern life by creating a "sisterhood of stories" that offer help and understanding. This communal reservoir of shared experiences fosters a sense of connection and belonging.

Witnessing and validation. By witnessing these women's tender parts laid bare, readers are invited to find compassion and understanding for them, and to sense their power. This act of witnessing validates the experiences of women and challenges the societal forces that seek to silence them.

Empowerment through connection. The author hopes that readers will find compassion and understanding for themselves and find their own power through this sisterhood of stories. This emphasis on self-compassion and empowerment is a key element of the book's transformative potential.

5. The Evolving Relationship with Sexuality: From Shame to Empowerment

It takes women so long to let go of embarrassment and shame that’s ingrained in us.

Challenging ingrained shame. The book acknowledges the long and difficult journey women face in letting go of the embarrassment and shame that is ingrained in them by society. This process of unlearning is essential for reclaiming sexual agency and pleasure.

Reclaiming pleasure. The author expresses anger that women's pleasure is often put aside in favor of their partners, and that women are often taught to perform sex rather than experience it. This critique highlights the need for women to prioritize their own pleasure and desires.

Celebrating sensual delight. The book celebrates the potential women have for pleasure, sensual delight, and "hot filthy sex," and admires women who have cast shame and inhibition aside. This celebration of female sexuality is a powerful antidote to the societal forces that seek to suppress it.

6. Motherhood: Power, Pain, and Redefining Womanhood

Birth may be everyday, but it’s epic.

The primal human experience. The author emphasizes the profound and transformative nature of birth, recognizing it as the "ultimate primal human experience" that connects all of humanity. This perspective elevates birth beyond the mundane and celebrates its epic scale.

Beyond biological capabilities. The book acknowledges the challenges women face when reproductive health problems threaten their ability to conceive, and encourages them to re-evaluate what womanhood can look like outside of their biological capabilities. This redefinition of womanhood is crucial for fostering self-acceptance and resilience.

Shame and celebration. The author notes the strange way that women's bodies can do all these powerful things but they're shrouded in shame. This paradox highlights the need to celebrate female reproductive biology and challenge the societal forces that seek to diminish it.

7. Aging and Womanhood: Embracing Change and Rejecting Societal Limits

The aging process is interesting because people talk about your body going south and they mean your breasts, face and tummy, but of course your vulva goes south too.

Beyond youthful beauty. The book challenges the societal obsession with youthful beauty, acknowledging that the aging process affects all parts of the body, including the vulva. This perspective encourages women to embrace the changes that come with age and reject the pressure to conform to unrealistic ideals.

Continued desire and pleasure. The author emphasizes that the end of menstruation does not mean the end of desire or pleasure, and celebrates the experiences of older post-menopausal women. This perspective challenges the societal notion that women become sexually irrelevant after a certain age.

Reclaiming power and juiciness. The author notes that she is approaching perimenopause, yet feels freer, happier, more sexually potent, and more in her prime than ever before. This personal transformation serves as an inspiration for women to reject societal limits and embrace their own power and juiciness at any age.

8. Reproductive Health: Advocacy, Awareness, and Breaking the Silence

I was sure a man would think it felt like I had a penis or really saggy lips.

Challenging medical bias. The book highlights the stories of women who have been dismissed or mistreated by medical professionals, particularly in regards to gynecological conditions and birth trauma. This critique underscores the need for greater empathy and understanding in healthcare.

Advocating for change. The author shares her experience of setting up a charity to address reproductive health issues in the BAME community, highlighting the importance of culturally sensitive and accessible healthcare. This advocacy work seeks to break the silence and stigma surrounding women's health.

Empowering women with knowledge. The book emphasizes the importance of women understanding their own bodies and advocating for their own health. This empowerment through knowledge is crucial for navigating the often-complex and challenging world of reproductive healthcare.

9. The Impact of Societal Expectations: Body Image, Virginity, and Sexual Performance

When I was in my 20s, I thought no one would want to give me oral sex because I had so much pubic hair.

Challenging beauty standards. The book explores the ways in which societal beauty standards, particularly those perpetuated by porn, can negatively impact women's body image and self-esteem. This critique encourages women to reject unrealistic ideals and embrace their own unique beauty.

Deconstructing virginity. The book challenges the societal obsession with virginity, recognizing it as a construct that often places undue pressure and shame on women. This perspective encourages women to define their own sexuality on their own terms.

Rejecting performance. The book critiques the pressure women face to perform sexually, both for their partners and for the male gaze. This critique encourages women to prioritize their own pleasure and desires, and to reject the notion that they must be sexually pleasing to be valuable.

10. Redefining Womanhood: Beyond Biology, Embracing Individuality

Ultimately I want to live in a world where we are people and not defined by what’s between our legs.

Beyond genitalia. The book challenges the notion that womanhood is solely defined by biology, recognizing that gender is a social construct and that there are many ways to be a woman. This perspective encourages readers to embrace their own unique identities and reject limiting stereotypes.

Finding balance. The author shares her personal journey of finding balance within herself, recognizing that this is where she is finding her healing. This emphasis on self-discovery and personal growth is a key element of the book's transformative potential.

Reclaiming womanhood. The book concludes with a call to action, urging readers to reclaim their womanhood on their own terms, in their own words, and in their own image. This empowering message encourages women to define themselves and their experiences, rather than allowing society to do it for them.

Last updated: September 1, 2025