Neon Beginnings, Hidden Longings

Calla "Cal" Litvin, quirky and anxious, has always been the oddball in her small Maine town, Staindrop. Her best friend's brother, Ambrose "Row" Casablancas, is the local bad boy—brooding, magnetic, and off-limits. On the eve of their departures for college, Cal's long-harbored crush combusts into reality: she asks Row to take her virginity. Their impulsive, passionate encounter is both exhilarating and guilt-ridden, especially when they're caught by Dylan, Cal's best friend and Row's sister. The fallout is immediate and devastating, fracturing friendships and setting the stage for years of regret, longing, and unresolved feelings. Beneath the neon glow of their youth, both Cal and Row are marked by this night—one they can't forget, no matter how hard they try.

Friendship Shattered, Hearts Exposed

The aftermath of Cal and Row's night together is catastrophic. Dylan, feeling betrayed by both her brother and her best friend, severs ties with Cal, leaving her isolated and wracked with guilt. Row, too, is left emotionally raw, masking his pain with sarcasm and distance. Cal flees to New York, determined never to return to Staindrop, while Row heads to Paris to chase his culinary dreams. The once-inseparable trio is splintered, each carrying wounds that fester in silence. The emotional fallout lingers, shaping their identities and relationships for years to come, as each tries to move forward while haunted by the past.

Five Years, One Funeral

Five years later, Cal is forced to return to Staindrop for her father's funeral. The homecoming is bittersweet—grief for her father mingles with anxiety about facing Dylan and Row. The town is unchanged, but Cal is not; she's older, more guarded, and still struggling to find her place in the world. The funeral becomes a crucible, reuniting old friends and enemies, and reigniting dormant tensions. Cal's mother, fragile and lonely, asks her to stay for a while, and Cal reluctantly agrees, setting the stage for a prolonged confrontation with her past and the people she left behind.

Homecomings and Old Wounds

Cal's return throws her into the orbit of both Dylan—now heavily pregnant and entangled with an old high school bully—and Row, who has become a celebrity chef and local pariah. The air crackles with unresolved tension as Cal and Row circle each other, their banter laced with old wounds and new sparks. Dylan's forgiveness is tentative, and the trio's dynamic is fraught with history. Cal's anxiety and social tics flare, but she's determined to mend what she can. The town, meanwhile, is abuzz with gossip, and Row's controversial business decisions have made him a target. Old wounds are reopened, but the possibility of healing glimmers on the horizon.

Rivalries, Regrets, and Returns

Row's return to Staindrop is marked by professional triumph—his restaurant, Descartes, is a sensation—but also by personal turmoil. The town resents his plans to sell the land to a corporate developer, and he's plagued by vandalism and threats. Cal, desperate for work, ends up as a server at Descartes, forcing daily proximity with Row. Their interactions are electric, oscillating between antagonism and attraction. Meanwhile, Dylan's relationship with Tucker is unraveling, and old high school rivalries resurface. The past refuses to stay buried, and every encounter is charged with the weight of what was lost—and what might still be found.

Running in Place

Haunted by trauma from her teenage years, Cal struggles with anxiety and a deep-seated fear of men. Row, recognizing her pain, pushes her to confront her fears—literally and figuratively—by encouraging her to run again, fulfilling her late father's wish. Their morning jogs become a space for vulnerability and connection, as Cal slowly reclaims her agency and Row reveals the scars of his own abusive upbringing. Through shared pain and mutual support, they begin to heal, finding solace in each other's presence. The act of running becomes a metaphor for their journey: progress is possible, but only by facing what chases you.

Kitchen Fires, Emotional Sparks

Working together at Descartes, Cal and Row's chemistry is undeniable, but so is their capacity to wound each other. The kitchen is a battleground—of egos, ambitions, and unspoken feelings. Row's perfectionism and gruff exterior mask a deep vulnerability, while Cal's clumsiness and humor hide her fear of rejection. Their flirtation is laced with old hurts, but also with hope. As they navigate the pressures of the restaurant and the scrutiny of the town, their relationship deepens, moving from antagonism to tentative trust. The kitchen becomes a crucible, forging something new from the ashes of their past.

Past Hurts, Present Tensions

The ghosts of the past refuse to rest. Cal's history of bullying and betrayal at the hands of her high school nemesis, Allison, resurfaces, threatening her hard-won progress. Row's own trauma—growing up with an abusive, alcoholic father—comes to light, deepening Cal's understanding of his pain. Their confessions, shared in moments of vulnerability, draw them closer, but also expose the fragility of their bond. The town's hostility toward Row intensifies, and Cal is forced to confront Allison, demanding accountability for old and new wrongs. The past and present collide, forcing both Cal and Row to choose: remain prisoners of their history, or fight for a different future.

Stalkers, Scandals, and Second Chances

As Row's enemies grow bolder—vandalizing his property, threatening his safety—Cal becomes his fiercest defender. Their partnership, once fraught with mistrust, transforms into a united front. Together, they unravel the mystery of who is targeting Row, uncovering a web of jealousy, corruption, and small-town politics. Amidst the chaos, their romance reignites, passionate and all-consuming. But the threat is real, and a violent attack leaves Row hospitalized, forcing both to confront the depth of their feelings. Second chances are hard-won, and the cost of vulnerability is steep—but the possibility of real love is worth the risk.

Confessions in the Dark

In the aftermath of violence and betrayal, Cal and Row finally lay their cards on the table. Their confessions—of love, of fear, of regret—are raw and unfiltered. Cal admits her lifelong love for Row, and he, in turn, reveals the depth of his devotion. Their intimacy, both physical and emotional, is a balm for old wounds. But the future remains uncertain: Row's career beckons him to London, while Cal's dreams are rooted in New York. The prospect of separation looms, and both must decide whether love is enough to bridge the distance—or if their fears will drive them apart once more.

Healing, Hurting, and Hope

As Row prepares to leave for London and Cal returns to New York, both are haunted by what might have been. Their goodbye is bittersweet, filled with longing and unspoken promises. Cal, inspired by Row's faith in her, finally launches her true crime podcast, finding purpose and confidence in her own voice. Row, meanwhile, throws himself into his new restaurant, but nothing fills the void left by Cal. Both are changed by their time together—stronger, braver, but still aching for the love they left behind. Healing is a process, and hope is a choice.

Facing Demons, Finding Strength

Cal's journey comes full circle as she confronts Allison, holding her accountable for years of cruelty and violence. The confrontation is cathartic, empowering Cal to reclaim her narrative and stand up for herself and those she loves. The town, too, is forced to reckon with its own complicity and prejudice. Through courage and determination, Cal breaks the cycle of victimhood, emerging as a survivor and a leader. Her victory is not just personal, but communal—a testament to the power of truth and the possibility of redemption.

The Town Turns, Truths Revealed

With Allison exposed and justice served, the town's animosity toward Row dissolves. Old wounds begin to heal, and new alliances are forged. Dylan, free from a toxic relationship, embraces single motherhood and new opportunities. Cal's mother finds purpose and joy in her own creative pursuits. The community, once fractured by secrets and resentment, begins to mend. For Cal and Row, the path to reconciliation is open, but the choice remains: will they risk everything for love, or retreat into the safety of solitude?

Love Letters and Goodbyes

Inspired by her own growth and the love she can no longer deny, Cal makes a bold move—traveling to London to win Row back. Her grand, nineties-inspired gesture is both hilarious and heartfelt, a testament to her transformation from anxious outsider to confident woman. Row, stunned and overjoyed, meets her vulnerability with his own, and together they choose a future built on honesty, trust, and mutual respect. Their reunion is a celebration of everything they've overcome—and everything they still hope to build together.

Guts, Glory, and Growth

With their love rekindled, Cal and Row embark on a new chapter—marriage, creative fulfillment, and the messy, beautiful work of building a life together. Cal's podcast flourishes, Row's restaurant thrives, and their family expands in unexpected ways. The lessons of the past—about courage, forgiveness, and the necessity of risk—inform their every step. Surrounded by friends and family, they find joy in the ordinary and the extraordinary, proving that even the most damaged hearts can heal, and that love, truly, is worth fighting for.

Full Circle, Forever Starts

A year later, Cal and Row's life is a testament to the power of second chances. Their home is filled with laughter, creativity, and the warmth of chosen family. Dylan, thriving as a mother and friend, is a constant presence, as are the other misfits and survivors who have found their place in this patchwork community. Cal, once paralyzed by fear, now runs toward her dreams—and into Row's arms. Their love, hard-won and deeply cherished, is the foundation of a life that is messy, imperfect, and utterly beautiful. Together, they prove that happiness is not the absence of pain, but the courage to love despite it.

Epilogue: New Dreams, Old Loves

In the glow of a London Christmas, Cal and Row celebrate the life they've built—a life shaped by loss, laughter, and the relentless pursuit of joy. Surrounded by family and friends, they reflect on the journey that brought them here: the mistakes, the miracles, and the moments of grace. Their story is one of resilience and redemption, a reminder that even the most broken hearts can find their way home. As they look to the future—together, always—they know that love, truly, madly, deeply, is the greatest adventure of all.

Characters

Calla "Cal" Litvin

Cal is the heart of the story—a woman defined by her eccentricities, her social anxiety, and her fierce loyalty. Marked by childhood bullying and a traumatic betrayal, she struggles with trust and intimacy, especially with men. Her humor and compassion mask deep wounds, but beneath her awkwardness lies a core of steel. Cal's journey is one of self-acceptance and empowerment: from a people-pleasing outsider to a woman who claims her voice, her dreams, and her right to love. Her relationship with Row is both a source of pain and healing, forcing her to confront her fears and embrace vulnerability. Through friendship, loss, and love, Cal learns that she is worthy—not despite her scars, but because of them.

Ambrose "Row" Casablancas

Row is the archetypal bad boy with a wounded soul. Scarred by an abusive father and a lifetime of being misunderstood, he channels his pain into culinary brilliance and a gruff, sarcastic persona. Beneath the bravado, however, is a man desperate for connection and belonging. His love for Cal is deep, complicated, and unwavering—she is both his greatest weakness and his salvation. Row's journey is one of redemption: learning to forgive himself, to trust others, and to risk his heart. His protective instincts, especially toward his sister Dylan, reveal a capacity for fierce loyalty and self-sacrifice. Ultimately, Row's greatest triumph is not professional success, but the courage to love and be loved in return.

Dylan Casablancas

Dylan is Cal's best friend and Row's sister—a force of nature whose humor and honesty ground the story. Creative, outspoken, and fiercely protective, she is both a source of comfort and conflict. Dylan's own journey—from heartbreak and single motherhood to self-acceptance and independence—mirrors Cal's, and their friendship is the emotional backbone of the novel. Dylan's willingness to forgive, to grow, and to support those she loves is a testament to her strength. Her dynamic with Row is complex, shaped by shared trauma and deep affection, while her bond with Cal is tested but ultimately unbreakable.

Allison Murray

Allison is the story's primary antagonist—a woman whose ambition and insecurity drive her to cruelty. Once Cal's tormentor, she is now the mayor of Staindrop, wielding power with a ruthless edge. Allison's actions—bullying, betrayal, and even orchestrating violence—are rooted in her own pain and unmet needs. Her relationship with Cal is a study in toxic rivalry, but also in the possibility of accountability and change. Ultimately, Allison is a cautionary figure: a reminder of the damage wrought by unaddressed wounds and the importance of empathy, even for those who hurt us.

Tucker Reid

Tucker is Dylan's ex and the father of her child—a man defined by his immaturity and inability to commit. His infidelity and emotional absence force Dylan to confront her own worth and make difficult choices for herself and her daughter. Tucker's role is less about his own arc and more about the impact he has on those around him, serving as a catalyst for Dylan's growth and independence.

Kieran Carmichael

Kieran is Row's old rival and a professional soccer player—handsome, successful, and initially a source of tension. His flirtation with Cal and later interest in Dylan add layers of complexity to the group dynamic. Beneath his bravado, Kieran is searching for connection and redemption, ultimately becoming an unexpected friend and supporter. His journey is one of humility and growth, learning to let go of old grudges and embrace new possibilities.

Zeta Casablancas

Zeta is Row and Dylan's mother—a woman who has survived abuse and hardship with grace and determination. Her love for her children is unwavering, and her journey is one of healing and hope. Zeta's presence is a stabilizing force, offering wisdom and comfort in times of crisis. Her own story, though often in the background, is a testament to the power of endurance and the possibility of new beginnings.

Marina Litvin ("Mamushka")

Cal's mother is a source of unconditional love and gentle guidance. Her own journey—coping with widowhood, rediscovering purpose, and supporting her daughter—parallels Cal's in subtle ways. Marina's creativity, humor, and resilience provide a model for Cal, reminding her that happiness is possible, even after loss.

Rhyland Coltridge

Rhyland is Row's best friend and business partner—a charismatic, flirtatious presence who brings levity to even the darkest moments. His loyalty to Row is unwavering, and his own journey—from playboy to supportive confidant—adds depth to the story's exploration of friendship and found family.

Taylor

Taylor is Row's protégé in the kitchen—a young chef whose dedication and skill earn Row's respect. His presence highlights the importance of mentorship, growth, and the passing of wisdom from one generation to the next. Taylor's journey is one of self-discovery and professional fulfillment, mirroring the larger themes of the novel.

Plot Devices

Dual Timelines and Flashbacks

The novel employs a dual timeline structure, weaving together the formative events of Cal and Row's adolescence with their present-day struggles. Flashbacks to pivotal moments—Cal's trauma, her night with Row, Dylan's heartbreak—provide context and emotional resonance, deepening the reader's understanding of the characters' motivations. This structure allows the story to explore the long-term impact of trauma, the possibility of healing, and the ways in which the past is never truly past.

Alternating Perspectives

The narrative alternates between Cal and Row's points of view, offering insight into their inner worlds and the misunderstandings that keep them apart. This device creates dramatic irony, as the reader is privy to secrets and feelings the characters themselves cannot or will not share. The result is a rich, nuanced exploration of love, regret, and the difficulty of honest communication.

Symbolism and Motifs

Throughout the novel, objects—Oh Henry! bars, hair dye, kitchen knives, friendship bracelets—serve as symbols of memory, identity, and connection. These motifs ground the story in sensory detail, while also representing the characters' emotional journeys. The recurring motif of running, for example, is both literal and metaphorical: a means of escape, a path to healing, and a symbol of progress.

Online Identities and Secret Correspondence

Cal and Row's anonymous online friendship (as oBITCHuary and McMonster) is a key plot device, allowing them to share vulnerabilities and truths they cannot express in person. This secret correspondence becomes a lifeline, a space for honesty and growth, and its eventual revelation is a turning point in their relationship. The device underscores the novel's themes of identity, trust, and the power of words.

Small-Town Microcosm

Staindrop is more than a setting—it is a character in its own right, embodying the best and worst of small-town life. The town's insularity, gossip, and resistance to change create obstacles for the protagonists, while its sense of community and history offer opportunities for redemption and belonging. The tension between tradition and progress, individual and collective, is a driving force in the narrative.

Redemption Arcs and Cycles of Forgiveness

The novel is structured around cycles of hurt and healing, betrayal and forgiveness. Characters are given the opportunity to confront their demons, make amends, and choose growth over stagnation. The plot is propelled by moments of reckoning—confrontations with abusers, public confessions, grand gestures of love—that force characters to choose vulnerability over self-protection. The result is a story that is both cathartic and hopeful.

Analysis

Truly Madly Deeply is a contemporary romance that transcends its genre by delving into the messy, beautiful realities of trauma, healing, and the courage required to love. At its core, the novel is about second chances—not just in romance, but in friendship, family, and self-acceptance. L.J. Shen crafts a narrative that is both sharply funny and deeply moving, using humor as a shield and a salve for her characters' pain. The story's modern relevance lies in its unflinching portrayal of anxiety, abuse, and the long shadow of bullying, as well as its celebration of resilience and growth. The novel argues that happiness is not the absence of hardship, but the willingness to risk, to forgive, and to try again. Through Cal and Row's journey—from brokenness to wholeness, from fear to love—readers are reminded that everyone is worthy of joy, no matter how imperfect or damaged. The book's ultimate message is one of hope: that love, truly, madly, deeply, is not just possible, but transformative.

Last updated: September 20, 2025