Trigger Shots and Podcasts

Nicole and Gabe, married and living in Manhattan Beach, are deep in the trenches of infertility treatments. Nicole hosts a podcast, "Pretty Infertile," using humor to cope with the pain of failed IVF cycles and the emotional toll of trying to have a baby. Gabe, supportive but increasingly distant, joins her on the podcast, their banter masking the exhaustion and sadness beneath. Nicole's world has shrunk to medical appointments, hormone shots, and analytics for her show. The couple's intimacy has faded, replaced by routines and obligations. Nicole's sense of self is eroding, her identity now tied to her "failure" to conceive, and she quietly mourns the loss of the passionate connection she once had with Gabe.

The Last Embryo Gamble

Nicole and Gabe's last viable embryos are transferred to their gestational carrier, Valerie, a kind woman in Virginia. The process is clinical, but Nicole dares to hope—this is their final shot. The couple's relationship is strained by Gabe's workaholism and emotional absence. Nicole feels isolated, her friendships and sense of normalcy eroded by years of treatments. She clings to the hope that this transfer will work, even as her body and spirit are battered. The surrogacy arrangement, while promising, also highlights the distance between Nicole and Gabe, both physically and emotionally, as they navigate the logistics and the growing chasm in their marriage.

Fourth of July Fractures

At a lavish Fourth of July party thrown by Gabe's boss, Nicole is forced to perform happiness. She's surrounded by perfect families and thinly veiled judgment. Gabe fails to defend her when his boss belittles her podcast and her life choices, leaving Nicole feeling humiliated and unseen. Old memories of a former work friend, Logan, surface, hinting at a connection that once brought her joy. The party becomes a crucible for Nicole's growing resentment and sense of alienation, exposing the cracks in her marriage and her longing for validation and understanding.

Shattered Glass, Shattered Trust

Returning home from Virginia, Nicole discovers evidence of Gabe's infidelity—her dog walker, Cassidy, is in their home, and the truth is undeniable. The betrayal is shattering, not just for the act itself but for the years of trust and shared struggle that are suddenly rendered meaningless. Nicole's memories of her early, passionate days with Gabe are now tainted. She confronts him, but his denials and excuses only deepen her pain. The foundation of her life crumbles, and Nicole is left to question everything she thought she knew about love, loyalty, and herself.

Tequila and Old Flames

Nicole flees to her friend Mari's apartment, where she collapses in grief and self-doubt. Mari reassures her that Gabe's cheating is not her fault, despite Nicole's guilt over their lost intimacy. Drunk and desperate for distraction, Mari suggests reconnecting with Logan, Nicole's quirky, "Eagle Scout hot" former colleague who always seemed to have a soft spot for her. The idea is both terrifying and tantalizing—Nicole is still married, still reeling, but the prospect of something new, or even just a reminder of who she used to be, is a lifeline.

Drunk on the Doorstep

Emboldened by tequila, Nicole and Mari show up at Logan's door. Logan, surprised and concerned, welcomes Nicole in. Their banter is as sharp as ever, and Logan's warmth and humor offer Nicole a brief respite from her pain. She confesses her marriage is likely over, and Logan, ever the good listener, comforts her with ice cream and gentle conversation. The old spark is undeniable, but Nicole is too raw to act on it. Still, the encounter plants a seed—Logan is not just a friend from the past, but a possible future.

Sisterly Shelter and Sobs

Nicole's sister Paige arrives to care for her, bringing comfort and a sense of safety. Nicole is a wreck, unable to eat or function, and Paige shields her from Gabe's attempts to explain or reconcile. The sisters watch old movies and try to distract themselves, but the grief is overwhelming. When Gabe finally confronts Nicole, she demands space, recognizing that love is not enough to repair what's been broken. The days blur together in a haze of tears, exhaustion, and the slow, painful process of accepting the end of her marriage.

The Work Husband

Nicole recalls her years working with Logan, their playful office dynamic, and the subtle, unspoken connection that always simmered beneath the surface. Logan was the antidote to her stress—funny, supportive, and always ready with a joke or a snack. Their friendship was never physical, but the emotional intimacy was real. Nicole wonders if she missed her chance at happiness with Logan, and whether the life she built with Gabe was ever truly hers, or just the path of least resistance.

Girls' Night, Ghosts of Logan

At dinner with Mari and Paige, Nicole's friends tease her about Logan, recalling stories and speculating about the true nature of their friendship. Nicole is embarrassed but can't deny the lingering feelings. She receives a text from Logan, inviting her to run together, and the prospect of reconnecting is both thrilling and terrifying. The conversation forces Nicole to confront her own desires and the possibility that, even in the wreckage of her marriage, she might still deserve love and joy.

The Greenbelt Confession

Nicole and Logan meet for a run, their old rapport quickly reignited. They talk about her podcast, her infertility, and the pain of feeling broken. Logan listens without judgment, offering empathy and understanding. For the first time, Nicole feels truly seen. Their day together is light and easy, filled with laughter and small adventures. As the sun sets, the possibility of something more between them becomes real, and Nicole allows herself to hope for a future that isn't defined by loss.

The Hail Mary Transfer

As Nicole waits for news from Valerie, she is consumed by anxiety. The surrogacy process is out of her hands, and the uncertainty is agonizing. She leans on Logan for support, their connection deepening with each conversation. The possibility of pregnancy is both a beacon and a burden—if it works, everything changes; if it fails, she must find a way to move forward. The emotional stakes are higher than ever, and Nicole is forced to confront her deepest fears and desires.

Two Blue Lines

Valerie's pregnancy test is positive—Nicole is finally going to be a mother. The news is overwhelming, a mix of joy, disbelief, and sorrow for all that's been lost. She calls Gabe, who is both relieved and desperate to reconcile, but Nicole's feelings are complicated. The pregnancy is a miracle, but it doesn't erase the betrayal or the pain. Nicole's future is suddenly wide open, but the path forward is anything but clear.

Divorce on Hold

Nicole consults a divorce attorney, only to learn that divorcing Gabe before the baby is born could jeopardize her parental rights due to Virginia's surrogacy laws. She is trapped—forced to remain married to a man she no longer loves, at least until her name is on the birth certificate. The legal system's indifference to her suffering is infuriating, and Nicole is forced to put her own happiness on hold for the sake of her child. The sense of powerlessness is crushing, but she resolves to do whatever it takes to protect her future as a mother.

Mirrors and Mothers

Nicole is haunted by the ways she has lost herself in her marriage, becoming an extension of Gabe rather than her own person. She questions whether she has ever truly known herself, or if she has always been defined by the men in her life. The specter of her own mother's sacrifices and disappointments looms large, and Nicole fears repeating the same patterns. The journey toward selfhood is fraught, but necessary.

The Stoop and the Storm

Nicole and Logan share a raw, emotional conversation on her stoop. She confesses Gabe's infidelity and her own feelings of inadequacy. Logan listens, offering comfort and validation. Their connection is undeniable, but Nicole is still mired in guilt and fear. The conversation is a turning point—Nicole begins to let go of the shame that has kept her trapped, and Logan's steady presence becomes a source of strength.

The Bookshelf and the Bed

Nicole and Logan's relationship deepens as they spend more time together, sharing books, movies, and quiet moments. Their physical connection is electric, but they take things slow, respecting Nicole's need for healing and certainty. Logan's patience and understanding allow Nicole to rediscover her own desires and agency. The process is messy and imperfect, but it is real, and for the first time in years, Nicole feels alive.

The Note and the Kiss

The sexual tension between Nicole and Logan reaches a fever pitch, but Logan insists on waiting until Nicole is truly ready. Their restraint only heightens the anticipation, and their eventual kiss is charged with years of longing and unspoken feelings. The moment is both a release and a promise—a new chapter is beginning, but only if Nicole is willing to claim it.

The Problem with Wanting

Nicole struggles with her own desires, afraid to want too much or to risk being hurt again. She confides in Mari, who pushes her to be honest with herself and with Logan. The fear of repeating old patterns is strong, but Nicole is beginning to understand that happiness requires risk, and that she must fight for the life she wants, even if it means letting go of the past.

Silver Lake and Second Chances

Nicole and Logan go on a real date, exploring new neighborhoods and new possibilities. Their chemistry is undeniable, and they finally give in to their feelings, making love with a sense of joy and freedom that has long eluded Nicole. The experience is transformative, allowing her to reclaim her body and her sense of self. But the past is never far behind, and Nicole must still navigate the complexities of her divorce, her pregnancy, and her own fears.

The Gulf and the Goodbye

As Logan is offered a dream job in Chicago, Nicole's insecurities and sense of unworthiness resurface. She pushes him away, convinced he deserves a simpler, more traditional life. Their breakup is devastating, both believing they are doing what's best for the other. Nicole returns home, heartbroken but determined to be a good mother, even if it means sacrificing her own happiness.

The Podcast Confession

In a moment of clarity, Nicole pours her heart out on her podcast, confessing her love for Logan and her regrets. She abandons perfectionism and embraces the messiness of her story, inviting Logan—and the world—to see her as she truly is. The act is both terrifying and liberating, a final leap of faith in the hope that love can survive even the worst mistakes.

Some Other Story

After days of silence, Logan returns, having heard Nicole's confession. He has chosen her, and together they begin to build a new life—one that is imperfect, unconventional, and entirely their own. Nicole's journey from loss and self-doubt to love and self-acceptance is complete, and she is finally ready to write a new story, one defined not by what she has lost, but by what she has found.

Characters

Nicole Speyer

Nicole is a woman whose life has been consumed by the pursuit of motherhood and the slow erosion of her marriage. Her humor is both a shield and a weapon, allowing her to survive the indignities of infertility and the pain of betrayal. Nicole's relationships—with Gabe, with her friends, with her family—are marked by a deep longing for connection and validation. Her journey is one of self-discovery, as she learns to let go of perfectionism, claim her desires, and accept love in all its messy, imperfect forms. Nicole's psychological arc is defined by her struggle to reconcile her sense of failure with her worthiness for happiness, and her eventual realization that she is enough, just as she is.

Logan Milgram

Logan is Nicole's former colleague and emotional anchor. His humor, intelligence, and patience make him a safe haven for Nicole, even as he struggles with his own insecurities and fear of rejection. Logan's love for Nicole is steadfast, but he respects her boundaries and her need for healing. He is a mirror for Nicole, reflecting her best qualities and challenging her to see herself through kinder eyes. Logan's own journey is one of self-assertion—learning to fight for what he wants, to risk vulnerability, and to believe that he is worthy of love, even when it comes in unexpected forms.

Gabe Speyer

Gabe is Nicole's husband, a man whose outward success masks deep insecurities and emotional immaturity. His infidelity is both a symptom and a cause of the couple's unraveling, and his inability to confront his own failings leaves Nicole feeling abandoned and unseen. Gabe's relationship with Nicole is defined by a cycle of hope and disappointment, love and betrayal. He is both a victim and a perpetrator of the patterns that keep them trapped, and his eventual acceptance of the end of their marriage is a quiet act of growth.

Mari

Mari is Nicole's best friend and confidante, offering tough love and unwavering support. She is unafraid to challenge Nicole's self-pity and push her toward honesty and action. Mari's own experiences with divorce and reinvention make her a source of wisdom and perspective, and her friendship is a lifeline for Nicole in her darkest moments.

Paige

Paige is Nicole's younger sister, a source of comfort and comic relief. Her presence allows Nicole to be vulnerable and to remember who she was before her life became defined by loss. Paige's own struggles and insights provide a counterpoint to Nicole's perfectionism, reminding her that love and happiness are possible, even in the face of disappointment.

Valerie

Valerie is Nicole's gestational carrier, a woman whose kindness and resilience offer Nicole a model of motherhood that is both aspirational and attainable. Their friendship, forged in the crucible of shared struggle, becomes a source of healing and hope for both women. Valerie's own losses and faith provide a spiritual anchor for Nicole, and her willingness to share her story helps Nicole find her own voice.

Cynthia Speyer

Gabe's mother, Cynthia, represents the pressures and judgments of traditional womanhood. Her interactions with Nicole are fraught with tension, as she projects her own values and disappointments onto her daughter-in-law. Cynthia's inability to see Nicole as her own person is both a source of pain and a catalyst for Nicole's eventual emancipation.

Dave

Logan's lifelong friend, Dave, is wary of Nicole's impact on Logan, having witnessed his friend's heartbreak before. He serves as a gatekeeper, challenging Nicole to prove her intentions and to fight for Logan's happiness. Dave's skepticism is rooted in love, and his eventual acceptance is a sign of Nicole's growth and commitment.

Ashley (Valerie's surrogate inspiration)

Though not a direct character, the real-life inspiration for Valerie represents the unseen network of women who support each other through the trials of infertility and motherhood. Her presence is felt in the generosity and courage that define Valerie's actions.

The Podcast Audience

The listeners of Nicole's podcast serve as a collective character, bearing witness to her journey and offering the validation and community she so desperately craves. Their engagement and support help Nicole reclaim her voice and her sense of purpose, transforming her private pain into public healing.

Plot Devices

Nonlinear Narrative and Flashbacks

The novel weaves present-day events with flashbacks to Nicole's early relationship with Gabe, her friendship with Logan, and her family history. This structure allows the reader to experience the weight of Nicole's past alongside her present struggles, deepening the emotional resonance and highlighting the patterns that shape her choices.

Humor as Coping Mechanism

Nicole's use of humor—both in her podcast and in her personal interactions—serves as both a shield and a bridge. It allows her to survive the indignities of infertility and betrayal, but also creates intimacy with those who can match her wit. The banter between Nicole and Logan is a key element of their chemistry, and the moments when humor fails reveal the depth of their vulnerability.

The Podcast as Confessional

Nicole's podcast is both a literal and metaphorical platform for her journey. It allows her to shape her own story, to connect with others, and ultimately to confess her love for Logan in a grand, public gesture. The podcast becomes a vehicle for radical honesty and self-acceptance, mirroring Nicole's internal transformation.

Surrogacy and Legal Obstacles

The surrogacy plotline introduces real-world legal and ethical complications, trapping Nicole in a marriage she no longer wants and forcing her to prioritize her child's future over her own happiness. This device heightens the stakes and underscores the theme of women's autonomy—or lack thereof—in the face of institutional indifference.

Parallel Relationships and Mirrors

The novel juxtaposes Nicole's relationships with Gabe and Logan, as well as her friendships with Mari, Paige, and Valerie. These parallels allow Nicole to see herself more clearly, to recognize the patterns she has inherited and the choices she must make to break free. The motif of mirrors—literal and figurative—recurs throughout, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and the courage to change.

Climactic Public Confession

The podcast confession is the narrative's emotional climax, a moment of radical vulnerability that forces Nicole to abandon perfectionism and embrace the messiness of love. This device pays homage to classic romance tropes while grounding the story in contemporary realities.

Analysis

Lauren Okie's The Best Worst Thing is a raw, witty, and deeply honest exploration of modern womanhood, marriage, and the search for self-worth in the face of relentless disappointment. Through Nicole's journey—from the claustrophobia of infertility and the devastation of betrayal to the messy, exhilarating possibility of new love—the novel interrogates the myths of perfection, the limits of control, and the courage required to claim happiness on one's own terms. Okie's use of humor as both armor and invitation allows the story to tackle heavy themes—infertility, infidelity, legal powerlessness—without succumbing to despair. The nonlinear structure and rich supporting cast create a tapestry of relationships that reflect and challenge Nicole's growth. Ultimately, the novel argues that healing and joy are found not in the erasure of pain, but in the willingness to be seen, to be vulnerable, and to fight for a life that is authentically one's own. The lessons are clear: perfection is a myth, love is a risk, and the best worst things in life are often the ones that force us to start over, to tell a new story, and to finally, truly, live.

Last updated: October 20, 2025