Re-Create Your Life

1. Your Beliefs Fundamentally Create Your Reality

Each of your beliefs serves as a box that limits and determines the behavior that is possible for you.

Beliefs define possibilities. The core premise of the Decision Maker® Technology is that what you do, feel, and experience is entirely determined by your beliefs about yourself, others, and life. These beliefs act as invisible boundaries, dictating what actions you perceive as possible or impossible. If you believe "Relationships don't work," your behavior will consistently reinforce this, making it nearly impossible to sustain a satisfying relationship.

Self-fulfilling prophecies. Life often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because your actions, driven by your beliefs, generate "evidence" that validates those very beliefs. For instance, if you believe "I'm someone who overcomes obstacles," you will unconsciously create or seek out obstacles to prove this truth about yourself, rather than achieving effortless success. This cycle perpetuates patterns, even when they are self-defeating.

Beyond information and motivation. Traditional approaches like therapy or self-help often fail to produce lasting change because they operate on the flawed formula of "Information + Motivation = Change." This formula is insufficient because it doesn't address the underlying beliefs. Knowing what to do and wanting to do it won't change behavior if the foundational beliefs that cause the behavior remain intact.

2. Beliefs Are Interpretations, Not "The Truth"

There is no inherent meaning (or “the truth”) in the world.

Reality is distinguished. Nothing exists without distinctions; for any "thing" to exist, there must also be "not that thing." Our consciousness, primarily through language, makes these distinctions, thereby creating our perceived reality. We don't merely observe an objective world; we actively construct it through our interpretations.

Meaning is assigned. You have never "seen" a comfortable chair or a bad day; you have only seen a chair you interpreted as comfortable or events you interpreted as bad. Your beliefs, even deeply held ones like "I'm not worthwhile," are not facts discovered in the world but rather interpretations of experiences, often formed in childhood. These interpretations become "the truth" for you, but they are merely "a truth."

The umpire analogy. Consider the three baseball umpires: "I calls 'em like they is," "I calls 'em like I sees 'em," and "There ain't nothin' there until I calls 'em." The third umpire's statement best reflects the DM Technology's view: reality is created by our distinctions. Once a distinction is made, it becomes real for the individual, making it difficult to imagine it not existing.

3. Dysfunctional Patterns Stem from Unconscious Childhood Beliefs

Negative self-esteem beliefs were at the root of almost every dysfunctional pattern of emotion or behavior that people presented.

Early self-creation. At birth, you are pure possibility. Into this vacuum, your environment and the behavior of others lead you to create distinctions about yourself and life. These distinctions become your core self-esteem beliefs, such as "I'm not worthy" or "I don't matter," often formed before age six. These are not merely thoughts but acts of self-creation, shaping who you become.

Survival strategies emerge. When children form negative self-esteem beliefs, they experience fear and anxiety. To cope, they develop "survival strategies" and corresponding beliefs, like "What makes me worthwhile is being seen as important by others" or "The way to be respected is to use a gun." These strategies are attempts to feel good enough or safe, but they are conditional and often lead to dysfunctional behaviors.

The cost of conditional worth. Basing your self-worth on external achievements or conditions creates a lifelong struggle. No amount of accomplishment or praise can provide unconditional self-esteem if you believe you're not worthwhile "just the way you are." This leads to a constant state of anxiety, where you're always striving to meet conditions, and the fear of losing what makes you "good enough" is ever-present.

4. The Decision Maker® Process Eliminates Limiting Beliefs

When you eliminate a belief that has run your life and discovered that you created it, you become the creator of your life.

Seven-step transformation. The DM Process is a structured approach to identify and eliminate dysfunctional beliefs. It involves:

• Identifying the undesirable pattern (e.g., depression, violence).
• Naming the underlying beliefs (e.g., "I'm not worthy").
• Identifying the source of each belief (childhood experiences).
• Describing other possibilities (alternate interpretations of those experiences).
• Realizing you didn't "see" the belief in the world (it was an interpretation).
• Eliminating the old belief (it ceases to be "the truth").
• Creating yourself as the creator of your life.

Beyond coping. Unlike therapies that help you cope with problems, the DM Process aims to eliminate them entirely by eradicating their source: the beliefs. When a belief is eliminated, it doesn't just change your thoughts or feelings; it changes your reality, opening up new possibilities that were previously unimaginable. This is a permanent shift, as the old belief no longer exists.

A cognitive gateway. The process is more than logical understanding; it's a cognitive gateway to a non-ordinary state of consciousness. In this state, you experience yourself as calm, serene, powerful, and "turned on," with unlimited possibilities. This profound shift allows you to see that you are not your beliefs, but rather the one who created them, giving you the power to re-create your life.

5. Emotions and Perceptions Are Directly Shaped by Beliefs

Change the belief, and your emotional reaction to the same stimulus automatically changes.

Beliefs dictate feelings. Our emotional responses are not uncontrollable impulses but are largely dependent on our beliefs. For example, if you believe "Dogs are friendly," a boisterous dog elicits joy; if you believe "Dogs are dangerous," the same dog elicits fear. The stimulus is the same, but your belief determines your emotional reaction.

Perception is subjective. Our beliefs literally determine what we are able to perceive. We don't just sense what's "out there"; our brain integrates raw sensory data into perceptions based on our learned concepts and beliefs. The Eskimo sees ten types of snow where we see one, not because there are objectively ten different things, but because their language and culture have distinguished them.

Prejudice as a belief. Attitudes, which are emotionally held beliefs, are also shaped by this process. Racial, religious, or gender prejudice stems from negative beliefs like "Blacks are inferior." Even if adults feel uncomfortable with these attitudes, they persist until the underlying beliefs are totally eliminated, demonstrating the profound impact of beliefs on how we see and feel about the world and others.

6. True Self-Esteem is Unconditional and Self-Created

A positive self-esteem is a fundamental sense of yourself as okay just the way you are. It is created unconditionally.

Beyond external validation. Many people, like the executive who accumulated wealth but never felt "good enough," mistake external achievements or praise for self-esteem. True self-esteem is not conceit or arrogance; it's an unconditional sense of being okay, created simply because you choose to create yourself that way. It cannot be earned through accomplishments.

The ego's limitations. Your "ego" is the collection of beliefs, feelings, and behaviors you use to identify yourself. When you experience yourself as your ego, you are limited by these specific self-identifying beliefs. Saying "I'm not artistic" or "It's not safe to express myself" literally shapes your reality. The DM Process helps you realize that your ego is a creation, not who you truly are.

You are the decision maker. The profound realization is that you are not the sum total of your decisions or beliefs; you are the decision maker, the creator of your ego. When you eliminate a core belief and still experience "you," it becomes clear that your essence is the creator, not the creation. This shift empowers you to consciously shape your self-image and life.

7. Become the "Decision Maker": The Creator of Your Life

You are the possibility for anything until you identify yourself as specific beliefs.

Three ways of knowing. The DM Process distinguishes three ways of knowing:

• Understanding: Conceptual knowledge (ee.g., reading about riding a bike).
• Experiencing: Direct engagement (e.g., falling off a bike until you learn).
• Creating: A profound, intuitive insight where you actively generate the knowledge for yourself, "owning" it (e.g., the "Aha!" moment in solving a math problem).
  The DM Process aims for this third, most profound form of knowing.

Living as the paradox. When you create yourself as the decision maker, you live as a paradox: both the "creation" (experiencing life's events) and the "creator" (knowing you made them up). In this non-ordinary state of consciousness, you "have" upsets but are not "upset." You observe barriers but are not stopped by them, no longer a victim of external forces.

Nothing missing. This state is characterized by a sense of "nothing missing," serenity, satisfaction, and unlimited possibilities. It's like playing a game of Monopoly, fully engaged, but always knowing it's just a game you can put away. This allows you to navigate life's challenges with a profound inner peace and power, constantly creating new possibilities.

8. Parenting Styles Shape Children's Core Beliefs

What our parents do and don’t do, say and don’t say, provides us with the experiences that we interpret into beliefs.

Unconscious belief formation. Parents, despite good intentions, often unknowingly foster negative self-esteem beliefs in their children through common behaviors. Phrases like "Why can't you ever?" or "How many times do I have to tell you?" can lead a child to conclude "There's something wrong with me" or "I'm not good enough." These interpretations, not the parents' intentions, form the child's reality.

Parental beliefs drive behavior. Many parents operate from beliefs that inadvertently inhibit healthy self-esteem. Common examples include:

• "I am responsible for my child's behavior."
• "Children should have the same standards of behavior as adults."
• "Children can't be trusted."
• "I'm the boss."
• "My job is to produce results with my children."
  These beliefs lead to nagging, controlling, or overprotective behaviors that can stifle independence and self-worth.

The cycle of victimhood. Parents who constantly tell children "You make me angry!" or override their desires with arbitrary commands teach them that external forces control their feelings and choices. This can lead children to conclude "I don't matter" or "I'm powerless," perpetuating a cycle where they feel like victims of circumstances rather than creators of their lives. Breaking this cycle starts with parents examining and eliminating their own limiting beliefs about parenting.

9. Organizational Culture is a System of Shared Beliefs

By “culture” I mean an organization’s fundamental beliefs about how to deal successfully with its environment and the circumstances it faces.

Culture dictates behavior. Just as individuals have beliefs, organizations have a "culture"—a shared set of fundamental beliefs about how to survive and succeed. This culture manifests in policies, procedures, structures, and management styles. Any strategy, no matter how sound, will fail if it's inconsistent with the prevailing organizational culture.

The "product, price, presentation" trap. Many department stores, for decades, believed success came from focusing on product, price, and presentation. This culture led to specific practices:

• Salespeople were seen as minimal contributors, poorly compensated.
• Focus was on buyers, not customer satisfaction.
• Customer feedback was ignored in favor of sales data.
  When the market shifted, companies like Nordstrom, with a culture centered on "extraordinary customer service," thrived, while others struggled, unable to adapt their deeply ingrained beliefs.

Resistance to change is belief-based. Organizations don't resist change itself; they resist doing what they believe is "wrong" based on their existing cultural beliefs. If a company believes its current way is "the right way," any proposed change that contradicts this belief will be met with resistance, regardless of its logical merit. The DM Technology helps organizations identify and eliminate these outdated cultural beliefs.

10. Third Order Change: Continuous Creation, Not Just Adaptation

Third Order Change is similar to Second Order in that the required new behavior is not possible in the existing box. Unlike Second Order Change, however, where a company gets out of old boxes in order to get into new and better boxes, the Third Order Change company is never in a “box” at all.

Beyond incremental and fundamental.

• First Order Change: Incremental improvements within existing beliefs (e.g., using a new tool to do the same job better).
• Second Order Change: Fundamental change requiring new beliefs (e.g., a service technician shifting from "technical person" to "customer satisfier"). This creates new possibilities but eventually locks into a new "box."
• Third Order Change: A continuous process of creation, where an organization is never in a fixed "box." It operates from constant questioning, adapting its culture and practices as the environment changes.

The necessity of continuous learning. In today's rapidly changing world, even Second Order Change is insufficient. Organizations need to build "the management of change into its very structure," fostering a habit of continuous learning. This requires recognizing that there is no "ultimate" answer or "the truth" about business, only what is appropriate for the moment.

Empowering the workforce. A Third Order organization empowers employees at all levels to be "box creators." Managers shift from dictating tasks to creating environments where workers identify and eliminate barriers to the mission. Workers, in turn, believe their most important job is to continuously adapt and innovate. This fosters a dynamic, responsive culture where change is welcomed as a competitive advantage.

11. Society's Problems Are Rooted in Outdated Paradigms

The problems we face today in virtually every area of life cannot be solved with the options that exist.

Paradigms limit solutions. Many of society's seemingly insoluble problems—crime, poverty, education, healthcare—persist because proposed solutions operate within outdated paradigms. These paradigms are collections of beliefs that were once appropriate for a past environment but are no longer relevant. As a result, solutions either fail to address the core issue or cannot be implemented due to inconsistency with the existing belief system.

Education's anachronistic beliefs. The current educational paradigm, rooted in preparing factory workers over a century ago, emphasizes:

• Acquiring fixed "facts."
• Learning as a product/destination.
• Teacher as knowledge imparter.
  This paradigm is ill-suited for a world where knowledge changes rapidly and independent, creative thinking is paramount. Strategies like national standards, while consistent with the old paradigm, fail to address the need for lifelong learning and adaptability.

Healthcare's biomedical trap. The dominant healthcare paradigm, shaped by 17th-century philosophy and 19th-century medical advances, views the body as a machine and mind/body as separate. It focuses on:

• Eliminating symptoms with drugs/surgery.
• High specialization.
• Patient dependency, professional authority.
  This paradigm struggles with psychosomatic illness and ignores the growing scientific evidence of the mind-body connection (e.g., placebo effect, stress-immune link), making holistic, preventative solutions difficult to implement.

12. Embrace DM Thinking for Unlimited Possibilities

Thinking that assumes there is no “the truth,” that constantly creates new possibilities, that enables you to perceive “in an unhabitual way,” is Decision Maker® thinking.

The essence of creativity. DM thinking is the ability to perceive the world in an "unhabitual way," constantly questioning assumptions and creating new possibilities. It's a revolution in thought that empowers individuals, organizations, and institutions to break free from limiting beliefs and outdated paradigms. This approach is not about finding "the right" answers but about continuously asking the right questions and creating appropriate "truths" for the moment.

A call to action. The author's commitment is to spread the DM Process and Technology globally, enabling millions to transform their lives, organizations, and societal institutions. This involves:

• Training more DM facilitators.
• Encouraging formal and informal research into its applications.
• Fostering a "Third Order society" where continuous creation is the norm.
  The goal is for everyone to experience serenity, satisfaction, and unlimited possibilities by realizing they are the creators of their reality.

Re-create your future. Your life, as it is today, is a result of the beliefs you unconsciously created years ago. The DM Process offers the opportunity to consciously re-create your life now, aligning it with your chosen vision. By embracing fundamental change and challenging the notion of "the truth," you can unlock infinite potential and contribute to a world that truly works for everyone.

Last updated: November 25, 2025