Key Takeaways
1. Attraction is a Two-Phased Process: Advertise and Deliver
Your main objective during the advertising phase is to advertise that you’re different from most guys and that you’re not creepy in any way.
Advertising Phase. The initial 5-10 minutes are crucial for signaling that you're worth getting to know. This phase isn't about revealing your true self, but about differentiating yourself from the crowd. Use openers, routines, and body language to convey that you lead an interesting life and aren't intimidated.
Delivering Phase. Once you've piqued her interest, it's time to demonstrate that you're an amazing guy. This involves being genuine, engaging in meaningful conversations, and sharing stories about your life. Avoid canned lines and focus on building a connection.
Transitioning Between Phases. Many pickup artists get stuck in the advertising phase, enjoying the initial attention but failing to move beyond it. Force yourself to transition to the delivering phase after 5-10 minutes to build a deeper connection.
2. Confidence is King: Cultivate Self-Assuredness
Confidence is probably the sexiest quality a man can have, and is surprisingly easy to cultivate and express.
Fake it 'Til You Make It. Acting confident can lead to genuine confidence. Project self-assurance in your posture, speech, and actions. Embrace your strengths and don't apologize for who you are.
Strong Opinions. Express your beliefs with conviction, even if they're unconventional. Avoid pandering to her tastes or changing your views to gain favor. Be willing to stand your ground in a respectful manner.
Confidence vs. Cockiness. Be confident and even cocky, but never put others down to elevate yourself. Focus on building yourself and others up. Share your accomplishments, but attribute your success to your upbringing, friends, and family.
3. Individuality Attracts: Embrace Your Unique Eccentricities
The more different you are (without being scary), the more attractive you are.
Reject Conformity. Avoid blending in with the crowd. Embrace your unique hobbies, interests, and style. Rarity is prized, and being different makes you memorable and irreplaceable.
Unusual Hobbies. Cultivate hobbies that are different and fascinating. This gives her something to learn about you and a way to enter your world. Even mundane hobbies can become attractive if you become an expert in them.
Peacocking. Use clothing and accessories to express your individuality. Wear items that stand out and make you memorable. Don't be afraid to experiment with different styles and wear items that may be considered unconventional.
4. Drive and Ambition: Showcase Your Passion and Goals
They don’t really care where you are now; they care where you’re going and how motivated you are to get there.
Future Orientation. Women are attracted to men with a clear sense of direction and a strong drive to achieve their goals. Share your passions and aspirations with enthusiasm. It's the drive, not the destination, that captivates.
Relate to Her Goals. Understand her aspirations and offer support and motivation. Show genuine interest in her dreams and help her pursue them.
Personal Example. The author shares his experience of selling everything to live in a small RV, demonstrating his drive to live a simple life. This unconventional choice intrigued women and made him more attractive.
5. The Chase Dynamic: Encourage Her Pursuit
Too often men try to play the role of romantic pursuer, only to get resented and left for a man she can chase after.
Reverse the Roles. Avoid excessive pursuit and encourage the woman to chase you. This creates a sense of challenge and intrigue.
Control Attention. Don't give her too much attention early on. Answer calls selectively, take time to respond, and even cancel dates. This demonstrates that you have a life outside of her and that her attention isn't your sole focus.
High Standards. Let her know that you have high and specific standards. This makes her feel honored to be with you and motivates her to meet your expectations.
6. Set High Standards: Be Selective and Value Your Time
If she gets the impression that you’re willing to date any girl who’s willing to date you, she won’t want the job.
Value Your Time. Make it clear that your time is valuable and that you're not willing to waste it on someone who doesn't meet your standards. This creates a sense of scarcity and makes her value your attention more.
Refuse to Chase. Avoid actions that resemble chasing, such as constantly trying to meet her downtown or rearranging your schedule to accommodate her. Instead, maintain your own plans and let her fit into your life.
Other Women. Subtly mention other women in your life, whether it's seeking advice or sharing funny stories. This creates competition and makes her want to win you over.
7. Master Storytelling: Engage and Captivate with Narratives
Storytelling is both the most important skill in pickup, and strangely one of the most overlooked.
Content is Secondary. The content of your stories is less important than the way you tell them. Focus on pacing, delivery, and what the story reveals about your personality.
Show, Don't Tell. Use stories to convey positive qualities about yourself without directly stating them. For example, tell a story that demonstrates your bravery or generosity.
Build Tension. Create suspense and anticipation in your stories. Dwell on the moments before action takes place and build up to a satisfying punchline.
8. Teasing Done Right: Playful Banter, Not Insults
Teasing girls works because it’s playful and fun, and simultaneously challenging to the girl.
Playful, Not Insulting. Teasing should be lighthearted and fun, not mean-spirited or insulting. The goal is to create a playful challenge, not to put her down.
Offer Redemption. Always provide an opportunity for her to redeem herself after a tease. Avoid backing her into a corner or making her feel bad about herself.
Smile and Laugh. Maintain a fun and playful atmosphere while teasing. Smile, laugh, and make sure she knows you're joking.
9. Dates That Differentiate: Avoid the Mundane
Going on a traditional date is one of the worst mistakes you can make.
Reject Tradition. Avoid traditional dates like dinner and a movie. These dates are often awkward and put unnecessary pressure on both of you.
Unique Experiences. Opt for unconventional activities that are memorable and engaging. The author suggests going to the grocery store, climbing a radio tower, or taking a mini road trip.
Bring Friends. Bringing friends on dates can help to create a more relaxed and social atmosphere. It also shows that you're not putting her on a pedestal.
10. Relationships: Honesty, Respect, and Freedom
Maintaining good relationships is easy if you start off on the right foot.
Honesty is Key. Be honest from the beginning, even if the truth is difficult. Trust is essential for a healthy relationship.
Respect and Avoid Contempt. Treat her with respect and avoid contempt. Contempt is a major predictor of relationship failure.
Freedom and Trust. Give her the freedom to be herself and trust her to make good decisions. Avoid setting rules or trying to control her behavior.
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FAQ
What’s "Make Her Chase You" by Tynan about?
- Comprehensive guide to attraction: The book is a practical guide for men on how to meet, attract, and keep women, especially those considered "out of their league."
- Focus on self-improvement: Tynan emphasizes becoming genuinely attractive by developing confidence, individuality, and an interesting lifestyle, rather than relying on superficial tricks.
- Contrasts with traditional dating: The book challenges conventional dating wisdom, advocating for a mindset where women pursue men, not the other way around.
- Based on real experience: Tynan draws from his personal journey from being shy and unsuccessful with women to living with top pickup artists and mastering social dynamics.
Why should I read "Make Her Chase You" by Tynan?
- Actionable, experience-based advice: The book offers practical steps and real-life examples, making it accessible for men at any skill level.
- Focus on authenticity: Unlike many pickup guides, Tynan stresses the importance of being genuine and building a life that naturally attracts women.
- Addresses common insecurities: The book tackles issues like rejection, confidence, and the myth of being "out of her league," making it relatable for most men.
- Unique perspective: Tynan’s background with the world’s top pickup artists provides insider insights not found in mainstream dating books.
What are the key takeaways from "Make Her Chase You" by Tynan?
- Women are attracted to confidence, individuality, and excitement: Looks matter less than most men think; personality and lifestyle are far more important.
- Don’t chase—be chased: Men should avoid needy, pursuer behavior and instead create situations where women are motivated to win their attention.
- Storytelling and humor are powerful tools: Engaging stories and playful teasing help build attraction and set men apart from the competition.
- Self-respect and standards are crucial: Maintaining high standards and being willing to walk away increases a man’s value in the eyes of women.
How does Tynan define "the chase" in "Make Her Chase You," and why is it important?
- Reversing traditional roles: Tynan advocates for men to position themselves as the prize, encouraging women to pursue them rather than the other way around.
- Avoiding neediness: By not giving excessive attention or chasing, men appear more confident and desirable.
- Subtlety is key: The book warns against overcompensating with fake disinterest; instead, men should show genuine interest but remain nonchalant.
- Creates lasting attraction: When women feel they have to earn a man’s attention, they become more invested and attracted.
What are the most important qualities that attract women, according to "Make Her Chase You"?
- Confidence: The single most attractive trait, demonstrated through strong opinions, self-assurance, and unapologetic authenticity.
- Individuality and uniqueness: Standing out from the crowd with unique hobbies, style, and perspectives makes a man memorable.
- Excitement and optimism: A zest for life and a positive outlook are contagious and highly attractive to women.
- Humor and storytelling: Making women laugh and sharing engaging stories builds emotional connection and intrigue.
How does Tynan suggest building confidence in "Make Her Chase You"?
- Act confident to become confident: Even if it feels unnatural at first, behaving confidently leads to genuine self-assurance over time.
- Own your flaws and quirks: Embrace and even highlight unique traits or imperfections, showing you’re comfortable with yourself.
- Never apologize for your desires: Don’t be ashamed of wanting to improve with women or of your interests and goals.
- Develop strong opinions: Stand by your beliefs and preferences, even if they differ from others, without being argumentative.
What role does storytelling play in "Make Her Chase You," and how can it be used effectively?
- Show, don’t tell: Stories allow you to demonstrate attractive qualities (bravery, humor, generosity) without bragging.
- Builds emotional connection: Well-told stories engage women’s emotions and imagination, making interactions memorable.
- Structure matters: Good stories have pacing, tension, and a clear arc; avoid tangents and keep the listener wanting more.
- Practice and authenticity: Use real experiences, practice with friends, and adapt stories to fit the conversation naturally.
What is Tynan’s advice on handling rejection and persistence in "Make Her Chase You"?
- Rejection isn’t personal: It’s feedback on your approach, not a reflection of your worth as a person.
- Persistence pays off: Unless a woman directly tells you to leave her alone, it’s often worth pushing through initial resistance.
- Learn from each interaction: Analyze what went wrong and use it to improve future attempts.
- Stay positive and resilient: Treat every approach as a win-win—either you succeed or you learn.
How does "Make Her Chase You" address the concept of being "out of your league"?
- It’s a mental barrier: Tynan argues that the idea of leagues is self-imposed and can be overcome with the right mindset.
- Attraction is about qualities, not looks: Even the most beautiful women respond to confidence, uniqueness, and excitement.
- Approach the most attractive women first: This builds confidence and increases your chances of success.
- Gorgeous women are often easier to attract: They’re used to being chased and are more intrigued by men who treat them as equals.
What are Tynan’s views on traditional dating and first dates in "Make Her Chase You"?
- Avoid traditional dates: Standard dinner or movie dates put women on a pedestal and create unnecessary pressure.
- Opt for unique, low-pressure activities: Grocery shopping, hiking, or quirky adventures are more memorable and fun.
- Don’t pay for first dates: Paying can signal neediness; instead, treat the interaction as a mutual opportunity.
- Involve friends or double-book: This shows you have a full life and aren’t rearranging everything for her.
How does "Make Her Chase You" recommend dealing with the friend zone?
- See it as an opportunity: Being in the friend zone means she already likes you; you just need to spark attraction.
- Make her jealous: Mention other women in your life to trigger competition and interest.
- Escalate physical intimacy gradually: Use cuddling and playful touch to shift from platonic to romantic.
- Change the dynamic: Spend less time with her, make your interactions more fun, and introduce sexual topics to reframe the relationship.
What are the best quotes from "Make Her Chase You" by Tynan, and what do they mean?
- "You just have to be better than every other guy." – Success isn’t about perfection; it’s about standing out from the average.
- "The more different you are (without being scary), the more attractive you are." – Embrace your uniqueness to become memorable and desirable.
- "If you want to be respected, then prove that you respect yourself first by sticking to your principles at all times." – Self-respect is foundational to earning respect and attraction from women.
- "Girls want to feel comfortable and they want a natural progression." – Attraction builds over time; avoid rushing or making grand confessions.
- "Don’t tell her you like her, show her that you like her by properly attracting her." – Actions and behavior are more powerful than words in building attraction.
Review Summary
Make Her Chase You receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.38/5. Some readers find it useful for learning attraction techniques and self-improvement, praising its well-written content and practical advice. Others view it as a decent introduction to pickup artistry but lacking originality. Critics note its abrupt ending and limited scope. Fans of similar books like "The Game" may find familiar concepts. The book sparks curiosity for further exploration of the genre, while some readers appreciate Tynan's storytelling style and consider it a great primer for novices in dating.
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