Loving to Know

1. Our Default Way of Knowing is Deeply Flawed and Fragmenting

"Whereas most of us get it right about pruning the bushes, I want to argue that most of us get it wrong about what knowing is."

A pervasive problem. Most people unconsciously operate from a "default" understanding of knowledge as impersonal information, facts, and proofs. This deeply ingrained Western outlook, inherited culturally, creates a "daisy of dichotomies" that fragments our understanding of ourselves and the world. It separates:

• Knowledge from belief, opinion, values, morals
• Reason from faith, emotion
• Science from art, imagination, religion
• Objective from subjective
• Mind from body, reality from appearance

Damaging consequences. This defective default leads to widespread issues like boredom, hopelessness, and a sense of betrayal in our pursuit of understanding. If knowledge is just disconnected "factoids," it feels meaningless and disengaging. It fosters a view of reality as impersonal and passive, and the knower as a detached, objective recorder, leading to a "cluelessness" about profound insight and wisdom.

The need for therapy. This "subcutaneous epistemological layer" adversely impacts every area of life, from education and business to personal relationships and spiritual formation. To heal ourselves and our world, we need "epistemological therapy" – a conscious effort to identify and replace these faulty habits of knowing with a healthier, more human-centered approach.

2. All Knowing is a Transformative, Embodied Integration of Clues

"All knowing is the profoundly human struggle to rely on clues to focus on a pattern that we then submit to as a token of reality."

The dynamic of discovery. Knowing is not merely collecting information but an active, transformative event. It begins with a "conflict in context" – a rupture in our understanding – that compels us to seek a deeper coherence. This involves "scanning" and "creative imagination" to grope towards a solution, culminating in an "Oh! I see it!" or "Aha!" moment of insight.

Subsidiary-focal integration. This "integrative feat" means we shift from focusing on disconnected particulars (clues) to relying from them to grasp a coherent, focal pattern. This process is:

• Embodied: Rooted in our "lived body" (e.g., learning to ride a bike, typing).
• Situated: Drawing from the "world" around us.
• Normative: Guided by "directions" or authoritative insights.
  This integration transforms both the clues (giving them new meaning) and the knower (extending our lived awareness).

Contact with reality. The success of this integration is confirmed by a "sense of the possibility of indeterminate future manifestations" – the insight feels real because it opens up new, unexpected horizons. This "IFM Effect" testifies to reality's richness and responsiveness, moving us beyond mere explanation to genuine discovery.

3. Knowing is Fundamentally a Covenantal Relationship with God

"A covenant is nothing less than a historical relationship between persons . . . God works in history, which is to say that he works covenantally."

God as Covenant Lord. Drawing from Reformed theology, the book posits that God is the ultimate Covenant Lord, and all reality exists in covenantal relationship with Him. This means:

• Creator-creature distinction: God is independent; creation is dependent.
• Creation as prescriptive: God "words" creation into existence through normative, covenantal commands ("Let there be").
• Lordship as relationship: God's authority, control, and presence are expressed through intimate covenant solidarity, like a parent-child bond.

Knowing as stewardship. Human knowing is "servant thinking" – a creaturely, stewardly response to God's covenantal initiative. It's not about humans being ultimate arbiters of truth, but about fulfilling our role as image-bearers to care for and develop God's world. This challenges the idea of "brute facts" and emphasizes that all human knowledge is interpretive and normative.

The Framean Triad. John Frame's "tri-perspectivalism" highlights three inseparable dimensions of all knowing:

• Situational: The world and its circumstances.
• Existential: The knower's embodied, situated self.
• Normative: Authoritative guidance, standards, and interpretive frameworks.
  These dimensions are not separate but are different "perspectives" on the same reality, mutually dependent and permeating each other, reflecting the multi-dimensionality of interpersonal relationship.

4. Personhood is Inherently Interpersonal, Not Solitary

"The unit of personal existence is not the individual, but two persons in personal relation; and that we are persons not by individual right, but in virtue of our relation to one another."

Beyond the "thinking self." John Macmurray argues that modern philosophy's "egocentric" starting point (the "Self-as-Thinker") fails to account for personhood, action, or engagement with the world. Instead, we must start with the "Self-as-Agent" ("I do, therefore I am"), where action is fundamental, and knowing is a dimension of action.

"You and I" as basic. Macmurray contends that the fundamental unit of human existence is "You and I." We are born into an inherently personal, love-relationship (mother-child) where our very survival and development depend on mutual care and communication, primarily through touch. Our first knowledge is of the "personal Other."

• The infant's cry is interpreted and responded to by the mother.
• The child lives a "common life" as one term in a personal relation.
• All human experience is, in principle, shared experience.

I-You vs. I-It. Martin Buber further distinguishes two modes of existence:

• I-It: Views the world as objects, goals, information; detached, compartmentalized. Necessary for daily life but can be deadening if ultimate.
• I-You: A relation of encounter, presence, self-giving, love, and responsibility. It's not an "experience" but an "actual relation" where the You confronts the I by grace.
  The I-You relation is transformative, connecting us to the "eternal You" (God) and making us fully human.

5. True Knowing Requires Encountering the "Face of the Holy"

"The primal longing persists 'for the face that will not go away . . . for a loving other to address the whole person (as before), including the differentiated ego with all its competencies, and to set that whole-differentiated person into the cosmos as self-affirmed and beloved.'"

Four dimensions of humanness. James Loder explains that knowing's transformative power stems from its connection to our four-dimensional humanness:

1. World: Our embodied environment.
2. Self (Ego): Our identity, which constantly recomposes its world.
3. Void: The inevitable experience of contingency, absence, or potential annihilation (e.g., crises, suffering). This is the "rupture" that initiates transformative knowing.
4. Holy: The manifest Presence of "being-itself" that transforms and restores us, often experienced as a gracious reversal in the face of the void.

The face of the Other. Our personality is primarily organized by the "face" of a loving other (e.g., a parent's smile). This "face that will not go away" is prototypically the Face of God. In this gaze, the ego is "decentered" and "re-centered" around a transcendent reality, liberating it to function with greater competence and love.

Convictional knowing. All human knowing, especially transformative insight, prototypes and participates in "convictional knowing" – an encounter with the Holy Spirit. This is epitomized in the Christian Eucharist, where Christ's presence transforms us, making us "fully human" and better knowers.

6. Healthy Knowing is Differentiated and Dynamically Relational

"Differentiation is the process by which we become more uniquely ourselves by maintaining ourselves in relationship with those we love."

Maturity in relationship. David Schnarch's concept of "differentiation" describes the ability to maintain one's sense of self and integrity while remaining intimately connected to others. It's a lifelong process of "grinding off our rough edges" through mutual influence, allowing us to:

• Agree without losing ourselves.
• Disagree without alienation.
• Function independently and interdependently.
  The opposite is "emotional fusion," where identity is a "reflected sense of self," leading to unhealthy dependence and stifled growth.

Knowing as dance. Colin Gunton introduces "perichoresis" (Greek for "dancing around") to describe the dynamic, mutually constitutive interrelationship within the Trinity. This concept, applied to creation, means reality is marked by:

• Relationality: Things are defined by their connections.
• Particularity: Each thing retains its unique "thisness."
• Dynamism: A constant, ordered, yet free interanimation.
  Knowing, therefore, should be "perichoretic" – a dance-like, rhythmical reciprocity between knower and known that honors both distinctiveness and connection.

Space for flourishing. Differentiation provides the "free space" for particularity to flourish within relationality, preventing absorption or homogenization. This healthy, perichoretic dynamic is essential for both personal maturity and effective knowing, allowing us to engage the world with integrity and love.

7. Reality is a Personal Gift, Inviting Our Love and Engagement

"To know something or someone in truth is to enter troth with the known, to rejoin with new knowing what our minds have put asunder."

The known as subject. Parker Palmer argues that reality is communal and should be treated as a "subject" rather than an "object." It actively calls to us, and we are drawn to it, much like Barbara McClintock's "feeling for the organism" in her genetic research. This "deeper objectivity" means reality is not inert but responsive.

Reality as gift. Philip Rolnick posits that "person" and "gift" are mutually constitutive. Reality is fundamentally "gift" – a new actualization of good, given by a Person. This means:

• Irreducible to nature: Personhood and the "more-than" quality of reality cannot be fully explained by naturalistic accounts.
• Asymmetry of giving: The gift comes unbidden, unmerited, from a Giver.
• Imbued with the Giver: The gift is distinct from the Giver, yet profoundly reflects and references the Giver's personal character.

Metonymously personal. Reality is "metonymously personal" – it is fraught with the personal, imbued with dynamic interpersonal relationship, yet distinct from the Giver and recipient. This means we can encounter the Giver (God) implicitly or explicitly in any corner of His world. This perspective transforms our understanding of the "objects" of knowledge into "personal gifts" that invite our covenantal love and engagement.

8. "Inviting the Real" is the Art of Covenantal Knowing

"Man’s real work is to look at the things of the world and to love them for what they are."

A new etiquette. "Inviting the real" is the practical application of covenant epistemology – a set of practices that align our knowing with the personal, covenantal nature of reality. It's about treating the world as a person we wish to know intimately, rather than an object to be coerced. This "epistemological etiquette" includes:

• Desire:
  • Longing: A passive, attentive waiting, a "soul's looking" that acknowledges hunger for truth.
  • Love: An active, responsible care that "looks the world back to grace," seeing things for what they are and enabling them to flourish.
• Composure:
  • Being at Home (Presence): An inward integration and self-knowledge, cultivated in the "noticing regard" of others and ultimately God.
  • Differentiation: Maintaining a solid self in relationship, allowing for openness without fusion.
  • Personal Beauty: A self-knowing that develops in the loving gaze of the Other, radiating dignity and inviting engagement.
  • Embodiment & Felt Body Sense: Cultivating virtuoso subsidiary awareness, listening to our body's intuitive confirmations.
  • Fidelity: An inner alignment with truth, a covenantal self-definition that rejects falsehood.
  • Openness & Embracing Pain: A willingness to be changed by truth, even through suffering, as a pathway to deeper reality.
• Comportment:
  • Pledge (Covenant): Self-binding commitment to the yet-to-be-known, living life on its terms with attentiveness and good will.
  • Trust & Obedience: A fundamental act of faith, submitting to the reality of the known as an overture to its self-disclosure.
  • Humility & Patience: A genuine readiness to know, waiting for truth to reveal itself, listening beyond preconceived categories.
  • Saying "You" and Listening: Actively personalizing reality, treating it as a responsive subject, and listening for its unique voice.
• Strategy:
  • Being in the Way of Knowing: Strategically positioning oneself where insight is likely to occur.
  • Noticing Regard: Giving dignifying, loving attention to the known, seeing its inherent value.
  • Active Listening & Listening Beyond Categories: Engaging deeply with the known, allowing it to speak beyond our expectations.
  • Indwelling: Empathetically entering and viewing from within the object of inquiry, dissolving the observer-observed boundary.
  • Seeing vs. Looking: Cultivating an active, intimate, touch-like "seeing" that delights in the known, rather than passive, objectifying "looking."
• Culmination:
  • Friendship & Communion: The ultimate goal of knowing, an ongoing, mutually transformative relationship with truth.
  • The Eucharist: The paradigmatic act of knowing God, embodying mutual indwelling, self-giving, and the descent of God, profoundly priming us for all knowing.

9. Knowing for Shalom: A Vision of Healing and Friendship with Truth

"To love to know is to anticipate the I-You encounter that is the descent of God, the transformative moment in which we find ourselves surprised with his healing gaze in a moment of timeless communion."

A holistic vision. Covenant epistemology offers a comprehensive vision for life, where knowing is integral to being, doing, and flourishing. It dismantles the false dichotomy between "theory" and "practice," asserting that knowing is action, and truth is lived. This approach fosters personal wholeness, as knowers are recentered in the loving gaze of the Other, becoming "semper transformanda" – always transforming and catalyzing transformation.

Healing the world. Knowing for "shalom" (peace, health, completeness, harmony) means our epistemic efforts should bless, not curse, the known. By engaging reality with covenantal love and respect, we contribute to its flourishing, fulfilling our human mandate as stewards of creation. This involves:

• Mutual transformation: Knowing heals both the knower and the known.
• Responsible stewardship: Our actions in knowing should align with the inherent integrity and purpose of the known.
• Practical wisdom: Cultivating covenantal knowing leads to wisdom, good sense, and ethical action in the world.

Friendship with truth. The ultimate aim is "friendship with the truth," a dynamic, open-ended communion with reality that is its own justification and reward. This friendship is characterized by the "continual freshness of the Other," leading to ever-deepening joy and insight.

The descent of God. At its core, covenant epistemology points to the "descent of God" – the gracious, unbidden, transformative inbreaking of the Real into our lives. All our efforts to "invite the real" are ultimately responses to God's prior initiative, His continuous self-disclosure. This perspective transforms knowing into a profound act of thankfulness and worship, where every moment holds the potential for a life-altering encounter, prompting us to exclaim, "So, it is You!"

Last updated: January 15, 2026