Love 'Em or Lose 'Em

1. Ask Directly: Uncover What Keeps Your Talent.

They never asked.

Stop guessing. Many managers assume they know what motivates their employees or fear asking might put ideas of leaving into their heads. However, guessing often leads to incorrect assumptions, such as believing money is the sole motivator, when in reality, factors like learning opportunities or work-life balance are often more critical. Just asking the question itself makes employees feel valued and cared for, strengthening their loyalty.

Initiate dialogue. Proactively engage employees in conversations about their aspirations and what makes them stay. This can be done through dedicated meetings or integrated into performance reviews, using open-ended questions like:

• "What will keep you here?"
• "What might entice you away?"
• "What is most energizing about your work?"
• "Are we fully utilizing your talents?"
• "What can I do differently to best assist you?"
  Even if you can't fulfill every request, simply listening and exploring options can significantly boost engagement.

Beyond the obvious. Research consistently shows that while fair pay is important, it's rarely the top reason people stay. Employees prioritize:

• Exciting work and challenge
• Career growth, learning, and development
• Working with great people
• Supportive management and recognition
  By asking, you uncover these individualized needs, allowing you to tailor retention strategies far more effectively than any generic approach.

2. Managers, Own It: Retention Starts and Ends with You.

I think my manager actually could have kept me. But I don’t think he ever saw it as his job.

Your influence is paramount. Many managers mistakenly believe that employee retention is primarily the responsibility of HR or senior leadership, citing issues like pay or company policies. However, studies consistently show that the relationship an employee has with their immediate boss is the single most significant factor determining their satisfaction and decision to stay or leave.

Accountability matters. Just as you're accountable for other assets, you must be accountable for your people. Losing key talent is a significant business cost, often two to five times an employee's annual salary, encompassing recruitment, training, lost productivity, and morale. Managers should be held responsible for fostering a retention-focused culture, not just for productivity or innovation.

Lead by example. If you manage other managers, set clear expectations for retention, measure their efforts, and reward success. Model the behaviors you want to see, such as actively engaging with your direct reports about their career goals and well-being. Your actions speak louder than any policy manual in demonstrating that keeping good people is a core leadership function.

3. Fuel Growth: Support Diverse Career Journeys.

The only career path I saw was up—and up was in short supply.

Beyond vertical moves. Many employees feel trapped when the only perceived path for advancement is "up," especially when promotions are scarce. Managers must broaden this perspective by discussing multiple career options:

• Lateral movement: Applying skills in new roles at the same level.
• Enrichment: Expanding current job responsibilities and expertise.
• Exploration: Taking short-term assignments or informational interviews.
• Realignment: Moving downward to gain new skills or better fit.
• Relocation: Acknowledging when an employee's best path is outside the organization.

Proactive career conversations. Don't shy away from career discussions, even if you don't have all the answers. Employees want you to listen to their aspirations, help them identify their unique talents, and offer your perspective on their reputation and development needs. These two-way dialogues build trust and help employees envision a future within your organization.

Codesign action plans. Collaborate with employees to create concrete action plans for their chosen paths, identifying necessary skills, training, and networking opportunities. Your role is to stimulate their thinking and support their efforts, not to dictate their journey. This proactive approach keeps talent engaged and reduces the likelihood of them seeking growth opportunities elsewhere.

4. Show Respect: Build Trust and Dignity.

I remember feeling embarrassed when a manager humiliated his administrative assistant in front of several of her colleagues. It was so disrespectful, and no one said or did anything about it.

Respect is non-negotiable. Talented individuals will rarely tolerate disrespect for long, regardless of other job benefits. This includes recognizing unique qualities, valuing diversity, managing your own moods, and acknowledging employees' presence and contributions. A lack of respect can manifest as:

• Ignoring employees in the hallway
• Humiliating them publicly
• Dismissing their requests or concerns
• Failing to provide timely feedback or recognition

Cultivate trust. When you trust your employees with important tasks and responsibilities, they feel honored and valued. Conversely, micromanagement or a lack of trust can be deeply demeaning, leading to disengagement and eventual departure. Empowering employees by giving them autonomy demonstrates profound respect for their capabilities.

Fairness and responsiveness. Employees expect fair treatment and timely responses to their needs, whether it's a request for time off or support during a personal crisis. Being approachable and showing genuine concern for their well-being, even in small gestures, builds immense loyalty. Ignoring these fundamental human needs signals a lack of dignity and can drive valuable talent away.

5. Ignite Engagement: Enrich Jobs and Encourage Passion.

The work was okay, but my heart wasn’t in it.

Combat boredom. Even highly skilled employees can become disengaged if their jobs become routine and lack challenge. This "job EKG going flat" leads to psychological or physical departure. Job enrichment involves structuring work to provide:

• Opportunities for initiation, creativity, and new ideas
• Personal and group goal setting
• Clear connection to end products or goals
• Expansion of knowledge and capabilities

Uncover and leverage passion. Ask employees what truly excites them, what gives them "kicks" at work, or what they are passionate about. Then, creatively explore ways to integrate these passions into their current roles or allow flexibility for them to pursue these interests outside of work. This could involve new projects, skill development, or flexible schedules like telecommuting or flextime.

Be a passion igniter. Managers can foster a passionate environment by:

• Hiring for passion: Selecting candidates who show genuine enthusiasm.
• Showing your own passion: Modeling excitement for the work.
• Sharing a meaningful mission: Clearly linking individual contributions to the team's or organization's purpose.
  Conversely, organizational constraints or a manager's self-interest in hoarding talent can act as "passion busters," leading to burnout and loss of valuable employees.

6. Forge Bonds: Create Meaningful Connections.

I just didn’t feel very connected. In the time I was there, I never had much opportunity to meet anyone outside of my immediate work unit. And my work unit seemed to be made up of a lot of lone rangers.

Ease of leaving. A workplace where employees feel no connection is an easy one to leave. Strong relationships with colleagues, a sense of belonging to the team, and understanding the organization's mission are crucial retention factors. Managers must actively build these links.

Connect to the organization. Help employees understand the "why" behind their work by sharing the company's history, mission, and strategic goals. Facilitate interactions with senior leaders or even customers to deepen their connection to the organization's purpose. This fosters pride and a sense of shared destiny.

Build team and professional links. Encourage informal gatherings, team outings, and opportunities for employees to collaborate and socialize. Beyond the immediate team, support participation in professional associations or internal networks. These connections provide vital support, information, and a sense of community, making employees less likely to seek these bonds elsewhere.

7. Challenge Norms: Reconsider Rules and Offer Flexibility.

Twice in the last year I came up with some slightly unorthodox ways of approaching a problem. Each time I was told simply, “It would be against our rules to do it that way.” I quit offering my ideas.

Innovation requires questioning. Organizations thrive on innovation, yet many managers stifle it by rigidly adhering to existing rules and policies. Employees with fresh ideas want to hear "Let's give it a try" or "What if that worked?" rather than "It's against our rules." Questioning norms is how progress happens, from flextime to self-managed teams.

Identify rule types. Not all rules are equally rigid. Managers should discern between:

• Concrete walls: Truly unbreakable rules (e.g., medical licensing).
• Glass walls: Seemingly unbreakable but can be shattered with the right approach.
• Rubber walls: Pliable rules that can be bent with effort.
• Vapor walls: Beliefs and assumptions about rules that don't actually exist.
  Often, the most formidable barriers are the "vapor walls" of ingrained beliefs, preventing managers from exploring new possibilities.

Empower rule-breakers. Encourage employees to identify and challenge outdated or inefficient rules, systems, and procedures. Support their efforts to find creative solutions, even if it means bending or breaking established norms. This fosters a culture of continuous improvement and signals that their innovative thinking is valued, increasing their engagement and loyalty.

8. Recognize Value: Reward Beyond the Paycheck.

It wasn’t about the money, really. Oh, sure, a bonus would have been nice when I brought that new client in or when I finished those specs ahead of schedule. But a “thank you—I noticed” would really have been appreciated.

Beyond compensation. While fair and competitive pay is foundational, money alone is not the primary driver of long-term retention. Employees also value work content, career opportunities, and a sense of affiliation. Rewards that truly resonate are often non-monetary and tailored to individual preferences.

The power of praise. Sincere, specific, and frequent praise is a universal motivator. Managers should:

• Praise spontaneously: Catch people doing something right immediately.
• Praise specifically: Highlight exact accomplishments or efforts.
• Praise purposefully: Dedicate time for recognition, whether privately or publicly.
• Praise in writing: A written thank-you note can be a cherished keepsake, reinforcing appreciation.

Creative recognition. Think beyond traditional bonuses to offer rewards that genuinely show appreciation:

• Time: An afternoon off, a flexible schedule, or an extended break.
• Toys/Trinkets: Small, meaningful gifts or symbolic awards.
• Freedom: Autonomy over work processes, dress code, or budget.
• Food: Team lunches, gift certificates, or favorite snacks.
• Small money: Discretionary cash awards for exceptional efforts.
  By understanding what truly makes each employee feel valued, managers can create a powerful, personalized recognition system.

9. Hire Smart: Ensure the Right Fit from Day One.

We hired in a hurry and didn’t think about the fit between the new hires and the rest of the team. It ended up hurting everyone.

Hiring is retention. The first step in retaining good people is hiring the right people. This means finding candidates whose skills and interests align with job requirements, and whose core values are consistent with the organization's culture. Rushing the hiring process or settling for a "desperation hire" often leads to costly turnover later.

Measure for fit. Develop a rigorous interview process that goes beyond technical skills. Use behavioral questions to uncover attitudes, values, and how candidates handle real-life situations. Involve team members in the interview process and consider personality or skill assessments to gain a comprehensive view. Be prepared to restart the search if no candidate truly fits the criteria.

Onboard and re-recruit. The hiring process doesn't end with the job offer. Many new employees leave within the first three months due to unmet expectations or lack of support. Managers must actively:

• Conduct "expectations exchanges" to align promises with reality.
• Provide ongoing support and mentorship.
• Facilitate connections with colleagues and the organizational culture.
• Continuously "re-recruit" new hires during their first year, ensuring they feel valued and integrated.

10. Be Transparent: Share Information and Truth.

I never felt like I was really a part of the organization . . . I mean, I often read about what we were doing in the news!

Information is power. In today's information age, withholding information disempowers employees and breeds distrust. When employees are kept out of the loop, they feel undervalued and disconnected, often leading to disengagement or departure. In the absence of facts, people will invent their own narratives, which are often worse than the truth.

Communicate early and honestly. Share information about the business, its challenges, and its future as soon as possible, especially during times of change. Face-to-face communication is most effective for sensitive news, allowing for questions and empathy. Managers should also share insights into industry trends and organizational realities to help employees understand their career context.

Truth about performance. Employees yearn for straight talk about their performance. Honest, balanced, and frequent feedback is a gift that helps individuals grow and avoid career derailment. Managers must overcome discomfort with delivering corrective feedback, viewing it as an investment in an employee's future. Conversely, managers should also actively seek truthful feedback about their own performance to foster an environment of open communication.

11. Lead with Care: Don't Be a Jerk.

I know one department that kept losing talented people, one after the other. It was no mystery really. The manager was a complete jerk.

The "jerk" factor. A primary reason employees leave is an unsatisfactory relationship with their boss. Jerk-like behaviors, such as intimidation, condescension, public belittling, micromanagement, or a lack of caring, are highly damaging. Even one or two such behaviors can negate all other positive aspects of a manager's leadership.

Self-awareness is key. Managers must honestly assess their own behaviors. A 360-degree feedback assessment can provide invaluable, anonymous insights into how employees perceive their boss. Recognizing ineffective or damaging behaviors is the crucial first step toward change.

Change is possible. While ingrained habits are difficult to break, change is achievable with commitment and effort. Managers can learn to manage their moods, listen more effectively, and replace negative behaviors with positive ones. Seeking coaching or support, practicing new responses, and consistently modeling respectful interactions are vital steps to transforming into a leader who retains, rather than repels, talent.

12. Champion Well-being: Sustain Health and Balance.

To be successful there meant giving up my health and my fun, and I was not willing to do that.

Wellness is strategic. In today's high-pressure work environment, employee wellness (physical, mental, emotional fitness) is not a "nice-to-have" but a "must-have" for sustained productivity and retention. Managers who show genuine interest in their employees' well-being foster loyalty and commitment.

Support work-life balance. Many employees are juggling demanding work with personal responsibilities, leading to overwhelm and stress. Managers can promote balance by:

• Modeling healthy work habits themselves.
• Discussing work-life balance openly with their teams.
• Offering flexibility in schedules, such as flextime or telecommuting.
• Encouraging breaks and vacations, and respecting personal time.
  Treating balance as a strategic business tool, not a perk, signals a caring environment.

Address stress and overwhelm. Be observant for signs of excessive stress in employees, such as changes in mood or work habits. Proactively ask how you can help, listen empathetically, and collaborate on solutions. This might involve reallocating tasks, suggesting stress management techniques, or referring to employee assistance programs. Your support during challenging times can dramatically increase an employee's loyalty and commitment.

Last updated: December 1, 2025