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Lost in Thought

Lost in Thought

The Hidden Pleasures of an Intellectual Life
by Zena Hitz 2020 240 pages
3.63
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Key Takeaways

1. The Hidden Core of Learning: A Refuge for the Soul

Learning is a profession, as I found; it is a way of achieving money and status and of supporting the educational machinery already in place. But it begins in hiding: in the inward thoughts of children and adults, in the quiet life of bookworms, in the secret glances at the morning sky on the way to work, or the casual study of birds from the deck chair.

Learning's true nature. Intellectual life, at its core, is a deeply personal and often hidden activity, a sanctuary for the inner self. It's a space of retreat and reflection, distinct from the public pursuit of wealth, power, or social status. This inwardness fosters a unique dignity, allowing individuals to transcend external circumstances and find profound connection with others.

Dignity in withdrawal. Figures like Renée, the concierge in "The Hedgehog," or the Virgin Mary in Renaissance art, exemplify this hidden intellectual life. Renée, despite her low social standing, cultivates a rich inner world through reading, which becomes a source of mysterious attraction and genuine connection. Similarly, Mary's studious solitude, as depicted by the Church Fathers, signifies her independence and focused absorption, enabling her to make profound choices beyond social utility.

Beyond physical space. This withdrawal isn't merely physical isolation but a mental detachment from worldly concerns. Albert Einstein found his "worldly cloister" in a patent office, free from academic pressures, allowing his "holy curiosity of inquiry" to flourish. André Weil, imprisoned, discovered that his mathematical work proceeded "beyond my wildest hopes," nurtured by separation from external agendas. These examples highlight how intellectual life, even in adversity, can be a powerful refuge and a source of profound personal dignity.

2. Leisure: The Ultimate Purpose of Human Endeavor

For Aristotle, only contemplation—the activity of seeing and understanding and savoring the world as it is—could be the ultimately satisfying use of leisure.

Leisure's true meaning. Leisure is not merely recreation or rest to prepare for more work; it is an inward space whose fruitful use constitutes the culmination of all human endeavors. It is an activity pursued for its own sake, offering a profound satisfaction that instrumental pursuits cannot. This concept, rooted in ancient philosophy, posits that without such leisure, our work becomes a "pointless spiral of work for the sake of work."

Destroyed by modern life. Modern working conditions, characterized by overwhelming demands and constant surveillance, often annihilate this essential leisure. Accounts from Jack London's "Martin Eden" or contemporary warehouse workers illustrate how relentless labor can strip individuals of the energy to think or contemplate, driving them to mere distraction. Even privileged individuals, like urban tech workers, voluntarily sacrifice leisure for increased productivity, becoming "slaves of slaves."

Found in unexpected places. Despite these challenges, leisure can emerge in moments of quiet, manual labor, or even extreme adversity. John Baker, an office worker, found profound contemplation in observing peregrine falcons for a decade. Prisoners like Victor Frankl in Auschwitz or Irina Ratushinskaya in Soviet gulags discovered an "intensification of inner life" and the power of poetry, demonstrating the robustness of the human capacity to savor and contemplate even in the direst circumstances.

3. The World Within: Escaping Superficiality and Self-Deception

What Strepsiades and his family care about is the acquisition of property for the sake of pursuing one’s pleasure, whether that pleasure is rustic or aristocratic: fine meals, sex with a high-status woman, chariot racing with young bluebloods.

Distorted vision. Our perception of intellectual life is often obscured by our devotion to material comfort and social superiority, leading us to view it as a "useless luxury." This self-deception causes us to prioritize wealth and status, even when we claim to value intellectual pursuits. We seek the "splendor of Socratic thinking without his poverty," pretending that intellectual life can simultaneously deliver material success without compromise.

The trap of wealth. Aristophanes' "Clouds" satirizes this distortion through Strepsiades, a rustic man corrupted by new wealth. He seeks "new learning" not for wisdom, but to escape debts and maintain a luxurious lifestyle, believing that philosophical inquiry into fleas can somehow teach him to win unjust lawsuits. This illustrates how wealth, while enabling culture, can also destroy wholesome human simplicity if pursued as an end rather than a means.

Ambition's corrosive effect. Intellectual life can become a sophisticated form of social competition, where knowledge is used to assert superiority or gain entry into elite circles. Stories of individuals like D. R. Davies or Kathleen Betterton, who, after gaining education, despised their working-class origins, reveal how intellectual pursuits can intensify egotism and alienate one from their community, reducing learning to a tool for social climbing.

4. Asceticism of the Mind: Confronting Reality Through Discipline

To exercise the love of learning is to flee what is worst in us for the sake of the better, to reach for more in the face of what is not enough.

Inner transformation. Intellectual life is not merely an escape to a hidden space, but an ascetic practice—a turning away from internal desires that conflict with truth and understanding. It involves a constant struggle to allow the desire for truth to prevail over impulses for social acceptance, an easy life, or personal gain. This self-denial is crucial for chipping away at wishful thinking and confronting reality.

Reality's unyielding nature. The pursuit of truth often involves the "collapse of wishful thinking" when it collides with reality. Whether in chemistry, where experiments may fail despite hopes, or in historical research, where a single discovery can invalidate years of work, reality is not subject to our will. This encounter with unyielding facts is a "school of hard knocks" that disciplines the mind.

Beyond mere negation. While intellectual asceticism involves rejecting superficiality, it is not an empty negation. It is a flight to something concrete, real, and impersonal—a deeper reality, a universal truth, or profound beauty. This pursuit of "more" distinguishes genuine intellectual striving from mere distraction or self-indulgence, guiding us towards a fuller, more authentic humanity.

5. The Peril of Spectacle: Empty Thrills vs. Genuine Understanding

In a shocking sentence, Augustine describes lovers of spectacle as wishing “to know simply for the sake of knowing.”

Disordered knowledge. Augustine's concept of "curiositas," or the "love of spectacle," describes a disordered love of knowledge that degenerates into a "lust of the eyes." This impulse seeks bare experience for its own sake—the thrill of watching gladiators, mangled corpses, or circus freaks—without reaching for deeper questions or realities. It is a form of empty thrill-seeking, satisfied at the surface of things.

The crowd's influence. The love of spectacle is often intertwined with social dynamics, as seen in Alypius's capitulation to gladiator shows, driven by the crowd's roar and his friends' desire to break his discipline. This collective fascination with the lurid and novel is amplified in modern contexts like the internet and social media, where "outrage and horror" feed a constant cycle of superficial engagement, prioritizing shocking "facts" over quiet, truthful correction.

Trapped at the surface. Unlike the love of learning, which ceaselessly moves past surfaces to what is more real, the love of spectacle flees from object to object on the same level, never culminating in anything further. It is a "basic restlessness" that finds satisfaction in the act of experiencing or acting for its own sake, leading to an "endless, repeated sequence of increasingly joyless thrills" and a profound sense of emptiness.

6. Seriousness: The Restless Pursuit of Depth and Truth

Augustine describes the ultimate desire of human beings as not just for truth, nor for any old pleasure, but for pleasure in the truth.

The virtue of seriousness. Seriousness is the desire to seek out what is most important, to get to the bottom of things, and to stay focused on what truly matters. It contrasts sharply with the lover of spectacle, who skims surfaces. A serious person ponders dissatisfactions, discerns better from worse, and relentlessly pursues reality, even when it challenges comfortable beliefs.

Truth as a liberator. Augustine's journey from Manichaean myths to Christian truth exemplifies this. His initial "satisfaction" with Manichaean teachings, which excused his sexual compulsions and fed his pride, crumbled when inconsistencies with known truths emerged. This intellectual honesty, fueled by a fundamental desire for truth, liberated him from self-deception and reordered his life, demonstrating truth's power to integrate and bring wholeness.

Joy in truth. For Augustine, happiness is "joy in the truth," meaning not just factual accuracy but the truth about the most important things in life. This pursuit of truth, even if it leads to an "abyss where God's absence is," offers a profound flourishing. It is a "basic restlessness" that pushes us beyond superficiality, transforming our understanding and shaping our moral lives, even when the cost of truth is painful.

7. Art as a Path to Reality: Constructing Living Hearts

It had fallen to me to do it seriously. But was that what I wanted? To write, to write with purpose, to write better than I had already? And to study the stories of the past and the present to understand how they worked, and to learn, learn everything about the world with the sole purpose of constructing living hearts, which no one would ever do better than me, not even Lila if she had the opportunity?

Art's transformative power. Elena Ferrante's Neapolitan novels illustrate how art can be a profound intellectual discipline, a means to reflect on human life and find meaning amidst chaos. The narrator, Lenù, despite her social ambition, discovers that writing novels is about "constructing living hearts"—capturing the essence of human beings in action, their loves, desires, and sufferings, and rescuing what is alive from dissolution.

Beyond utility. Lila, Lenù's friend, embodies a "gratuitousness of intelligence," an artistic drive pure of social uses. Her notebooks, filled with observations of nature and life, are ultimately destroyed, signifying an art that exists for its own sake, untainted by public recognition or utility. This "holy uselessness" is a source of profound beauty and spontaneous creative energy, even if it appears infertile in a world obsessed with outcomes.

Shared creation. The novels suggest that true art requires both Lila's contemplative fire and Lenù's ambition to be seen, fusing them into a collaborative endeavor. Their shared imaginative discussions, like "two old ladies taking the measure of lives of disappointment," become a "godlike activity," an attempt to reinvent their surroundings and find truth. In a universe Lila describes as "random shards of glass in a blue pitch," literature becomes the sole means of capturing and reflecting on human life, offering a unique form of comfort and redemption.

8. The Quixotic Pursuit of Justice: Beyond Self-Serving Activism

If you were up there, Sté, all you’d see is parrots going cocorico, cocorico. You couldn’t understand a word they’re saying and they didn’t even understand each other.… You too, Lenù, look out or you’ll be the parrot’s parrot.…

Empty political talk. The Neapolitan novels expose political discourse as often "empty pretense," a tool for social advancement rather than genuine engagement with suffering. Characters like Lenù parrot political slogans to ingratiate themselves with elites, while Lila brutally critiques this "cocorico" as disconnected from the real poverty and violence of their neighborhood. Such talk avoids difficult social realities, serving only to reinforce social hierarchies.

The narcissism of activism. Simone Weil's attempts to experience factory poverty or John L. Sullivan's quest to understand the common man in "Sullivan's Travels" highlight the dangers of "Quixotic" social concern. These efforts, while well-intentioned, often collapse into "narcissistic fantasy" or "picturesque" adventures, revealing an "impassible gulf" between the privileged and the truly poor. The desire to "make a difference" can easily become a desire to "make a splash," driven by self-regard rather than genuine service.

Value in the "little human things." Sullivan's eventual realization, after experiencing real prison poverty, is that his popular comedies, once dismissed as trivial, provided essential laughter and solace to the desperate. This underscores that "real work, work that matters" serves human needs, even if it's not "innovative" or "transformative" in a grand, public sense. The "little human things"—like comedy or collecting garbage—are often the most vital, offering dignity and connection in the darkest places.

9. Living Out of Books: Cultivating Embodied Humanism

Another thing—I’d like people to say that “she really did love those books!” I’m always telling people to read Dickens or Tolstoi, or read Orwell, or read Silone. I could be one of your teachers—though I’m not a great one for analyzing those novels; I want to live by them!

Books as companions. Dorothy Day, cofounder of the Catholic Worker movement, exemplified a life transformed by serious reading, viewing books as "companions" and sources of moral guidance. She didn't just analyze novels; she aimed to "live by them," translating literary insights into a radical commitment to voluntary poverty and service to the poor. Her reading opened up reality, connecting her to the suffering of humanity.

Universal human experience. Day's experience in solitary confinement, meditating on the Psalms, led her to a profound identification with the "sorrows of the world." She felt herself become "man," sharing the miseries of her fellow inmates, transcending her individual self to touch the "Mystical Body of Christ." This sense of unity, mediated by words and suffering, highlights how deep engagement with texts can foster a universal humanism.

Beyond factionalism. Day's intellectual journey moved from socialist novelists to William James's "The Varieties of Religious Experience" and ultimately to Catholic humanism. She resisted "saccharine pious literature" and the "smug superiority" of liberal friends, always seeking the universal and the genuine. Her "virtue of seriousness" allowed her to discern truth and connection, shaping her life into a profound act of communion with all human beings.

10. Beyond Opinion: The True Purpose of Education

Education is not in reality what some people proclaim it to be in their professions. What they aver is that they can put true knowledge into a soul that does not possess it, as if they were inserting vision into blind eyes.… But the true analogy … is that of an eye that could not be converted to the light from the darkness without turning the whole body.

The opinionized university. Contemporary intellectual institutions often traffic in "correct opinions" rather than genuine knowledge or inquiry. This "opinionization" reduces learning to the absorption of bullet points, driven by administrative demands for measurable outcomes and political agendas. Whether from progressive or conservative viewpoints, this approach treats students as "receptacles of opinions" and consumers of content, denying their rational agency and inherent love of learning.

Superficiality of debate. Even the "civil exchange of differing opinions," often promoted as a liberal ideal, can be superficial. Debates rarely spur earnest inquiry into the depths of things; instead, they often serve to rationalize preexisting beliefs and reinforce social cliques. True learning requires "intellectual violence"—the painful confrontation with a "torturously realistic book," an "unanswerable question," or a genuinely different perspective that shatters opinions.

Cultivating seriousness. Plato's analogy of turning the "whole body" from shadows to light underscores that real intellectual work demands a difficult, painful conversion from the realm of opinion. Education should cultivate the "virtue of seriousness" in young people, fostering open-ended inquiry into fundamental questions that confound easy answers. This person-to-person transmission of "habits of mind" is essential for leading students into the depths of real insight and understanding.

11. Restoring Humanity: The Everyday Intellectual's Call

For intellectual life to deliver the human benefit it provides, it must be in fact withdrawn from considerations of economic benefit or of social and political efficacy.

Lost purpose. Academic institutions have largely lost touch with their origins in ordinary human intellectual activity, struggling to justify their value beyond economic or political utility. This has led to the "degradation of intellectual life," with humanities departments closing, teaching jobs disappearing, and research often disconnected from recognizable human questions. The focus on "measurable outcomes" rewards superficiality over genuine inquiry.

The power of the individual. William James's vision of "invisible molecular forces that work from individual to individual" highlights that true intellectual impact often occurs in quiet, "immediately unsuccessful" ways. Intellectual life is not an elite property but a universal human heritage, originating in the fundamental questions arising from ordinary life. It is a source of human dignity precisely because it transcends politics and social utility.

Reconnecting with origins. To restore intellectual life, we must reconnect with its roots in ordinary human curiosity and the "virtue of seriousness." This means valuing the "humble bookworm, the amateur naturalist, the contemplative taxi driver" as much as the high achievers. By cultivating aspirations, fostering free inquiry, and transmitting habits of mind person-to-person, we can ground our hearts in what matters most, ensuring that this uniquely human way of being is not lost.

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