Life Together in Christ

1. Transformation in Community is Overpromised and Underdelivered

“Community is the most ‘overpromised and underdelivered’ aspect of the church today,” a friend who has been involved with many different kinds of churches commented many years ago.

A haunting truth. Many Christians experience a profound disconnect between the church's promise of vibrant community and spiritual transformation, and the reality of isolation, disappointment, and stagnation. Despite participation in church life, studies show a significant number feel their lives haven't changed, leading to cynicism about the possibility of genuine spiritual growth within communal settings. This "inconvenient truth" highlights a widespread longing for something more authentic and impactful.

Beyond superficiality. Spiritual transformation is the process by which Christ is formed in us, enabling us to discern and do God's will for His glory and our abundant lives. It's not merely about behavioral tweaks or controlling negative habits, but a fundamental change at the deepest levels of our being. This supernatural work of the Holy Spirit requires us to create conditions for its occurrence, including engaging in spiritual disciplines both alone and in community.

Community's vital role. While personal disciplines are crucial, spiritual transformation is not a solitary endeavor; it takes place incrementally over time with others. Paul's teachings consistently place spiritual growth within the context of the body of Christ, where members mutually edify and spur one another on. Without genuine community, our individual transformation is limited, much like a coal cannot continue to burn outside the fire.

2. Embrace the "Death of the Wish Dream" for True Community

Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves.

Shattered illusions. Many approach community with a "wish dream" – an idealized vision based on personal feelings, affinities, or desired outcomes. When these human-centered expectations inevitably clash with the realities of human limitations and failures, disappointment sets in. This disillusionment, though painful, is a necessary step towards understanding what Christian community truly is.

Christ-centered reality. The death of our wish dream is, paradoxically, an occasion for great hope. It forces us to realize that genuine Christian community is not something we create through our own efforts or perfect plans; it is a reality created by God in Christ. When our human dreams vanish, the bright day of Christian fellowship dawns, revealing that our bond is not in ourselves but in the transforming presence of Christ alone.

The Emmaus model. The disciples on the Emmaus Road exemplify this "death of the wish dream." Their hopes for Jesus as the Messiah were violently shattered, leaving them in a "liminal space" between loss and potential gain. Their choice to walk and talk together, despite their despair, created the opening for Jesus to draw near, transforming their human companionship into a truly Christian, and ultimately, transforming community.

3. Welcome the Stranger to Encounter Christ's Presence

Just think—if the disciples on the Emmaus Road had refused to welcome the stranger into their companionable walk and their no-holds-barred conversation, they would have missed the whole mind- and spirit-bending encounter with Jesus!

Beyond comfort zones. Welcoming the stranger is a counter-cultural act, often challenging our introverted tendencies or desire for familiar relationships. Yet, the Emmaus story powerfully illustrates that the stranger can be a "means of grace," sent by God to disrupt our comfort and offer unexpected insights. Refusing this welcome means missing potential encounters with Christ himself.

Hospitality's intimacy. Inviting a stranger into our homes, as the Emmaus disciples did, fosters a profound intimacy that goes beyond superficial interactions. It reveals our authentic selves – our family life, tastes, hobbies, and unfinished business – creating a space where we can truly know and be known. This practice also cultivates self-awareness, challenging our perfectionism and image management, and inviting us into deeper contentment.

Christ in the other. Scripture consistently highlights hospitality to strangers, even suggesting we might "entertain angels without knowing it." Jesus takes this further, equating welcoming the stranger with welcoming Him. The "stranger" isn't always a foreigner; it can be anyone different from us – a contrasting personality, life experience, ethnicity, or opinion. Embracing this diversity allows us to receive gifts and insights that stretch us, transforming "otherness" into spiritual companionship.

4. Practice Christlike Listening Without Fixing or Advising

Christians so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.

The gift of presence. Jesus' interaction on the Emmaus Road models profound listening: asking good questions, patiently waiting for emotions to surface, and standing still in sadness without rushing to fix or advise. This kind of presence is a rare and powerful gift, allowing individuals to articulate their pain and confusion without judgment or platitudes. Our urge to "help" often stems from our own discomfort or a "messiah complex," rather than the other person's true need.

Listening as service. Bonhoeffer emphasizes that listening is the "first service one owes to others in the fellowship." It reflects God's own love, who not only gives His Word but also lends His ear. Failing to listen patiently to others can hinder our ability to listen to God. True spiritual companionship involves being present to the person and to God on their behalf, listening for the Holy Spirit's prayer rather than imposing our own agenda or advice.

Fostering "free speech." This Christlike listening creates a hospitable space for the soul, enabling "free speech" – an interior freedom to speak the truth of one's being, including incongruences, sinfulness, and spiritual paradoxes. It's about lovingly evoking the other's freedom to explore their experience of God without fear of judgment. Practices like group spiritual direction, with its structured silence and focused responses, help cultivate this deep, transformative listening.

5. Gather on the Basis of Shared, God-Given Desire

“What do you want me to do for you?” is actually the question Jesus asked most frequently in the New Testament.

The power of desire. Jesus consistently probed people's deepest desires, knowing that these longings, when rightly identified and harnessed, shape life choices and spiritual trajectories. Desire is more powerful than mere obligation or fleeting inspiration. It's the truest thing about us, originating with God who longs to meet the desires He has placed within our hearts.

Discerning authentic desire. Not all desires are equal; some stem from superficial wants, while others arise from our authentic selves. Transforming community provides a safe space to discern these true, God-given desires, helping us probe beneath the obvious to what we most deeply want. Companions listen to our spiritual longings and affirm God's presence within them, supporting us in making life choices congruent with these desires.

A shared quest. Shared desire for deeper transformation in Christ's presence is the essence of transforming community. Like Benedictine communities asking, "Do you seek God?", this reciprocity of desire gives the group coherence and a commitment to support each other in that quest. It's about acknowledging the longings that stir beneath life's noise and activity, and having a community that helps us pay attention to them, even when it feels risky or uncomfortable.

6. Cultivate Mutuality and Equality Between Men and Women

In Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith. As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourself with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.

Jesus' radical inclusion. The Emmaus story, with women being the first witnesses to the resurrection, highlights Jesus' radical approach to gender relations, challenging the cultural norms of his day. He consistently modeled new patterns of mutuality and equality, redeeming male-female relationships from the curse of sin and restoring God's original design of partnership. This was evident in his interactions, his commissioning of women, and the early church's practice.

Beyond stereotypes. In transforming community, men and women are called to reflect God's image together, experiencing equal opportunities to serve, lead, and participate. This means moving beyond gender stereotypes and theological positions that limit women's gifts. The metaphor of "brothers and sisters" in God's family implies relationships grounded in love, equality, and mutual influence, free from dominance, misuse of sexuality, or fear.

Honoring sexuality wisely. Acknowledging the sexual dynamic between men and women in community is crucial. Transforming community can be a place where sexuality is honored as a gift, its power respected and handled wisely, rather than repressed or abused. This involves facing fears, cultivating self-awareness, opening sexual longings to God, and moving towards each other in Christlike expressions of friendship and partnership, modeling healthy relationships to a confused world.

7. Understand the Paschal Rhythm of Suffering and Transformation

Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory?

Suffering's redemptive lens. Many people attest that their deepest spiritual growth occurred during times of pain, loss, or suffering. Jesus offered the Emmaus disciples a new lens to view their trauma: the "paschal rhythm" of death, burial, and resurrection as the essential pattern of the spiritual life. This perspective transforms seemingly senseless events into meaningful participation in God's saving act.

Dying to the false self. The spiritual journey involves a series of "necessary deaths" where we let go of sin, negative patterns, and false-self attachments that hinder our true-self-in-God from emerging. This process, though painful, is death unto life, freeing us from what is not truly real. As Father Thomas Keating notes, it's a series of "small humiliations of the false self" that make room for the Holy Spirit to heal and draw us closer to our divine Center.

Stages of the journey. The classic model of spiritual journey—awakening, purgation, illumination, and union—describes this path. Suffering often initiates awakening, leading to purgation where God strips away hindrances. This "dying" then leads to illumination, where we recognize the fruit of suffering—greater freedom and intimacy with God—culminating in union. This journey is not a success story but a profound surrender, where we lose our small "l" life to gain Life indeed.

8. Encounter Christ in Scripture Through Transformational Reading

In Christianity the Word of God is a person, not a book.

Beyond information. Many Christians engage Scripture primarily for information, knowledge, or to prove a point. While foundational, this cognitive approach often misses the deeper, transformative encounter with Christ, the Living Word. Transforming community encourages moving beyond informational reading to a relational engagement that involves our whole being—heart, emotions, imagination, and will.

Finding ourselves in His-story. Jesus' interpretation of the Scriptures to the Emmaus disciples helped them locate their personal trauma within God's larger redemptive story. This practice, "finding ourselves in the story," allows us to see our lives named, understood, and received within the biblical narrative, fostering a reverent awareness of God authoring our lives. It connects us to the communion of saints and brings fresh meaning to our experiences.

Practices for encounter. Transformational reading involves adopting a receptive, listening stance, allowing Scripture to be an instrument of Christ's work. Practices like:

• Finding Yourself in the Story: Reflecting on where your life resonates with biblical characters or events.
• Following the Lectionary: Surrendering to a common reading schedule that immerses us in the Christian year and diverse texts.
• Lectio Divina: A slow, reflective reading in four movements (read, reflect, respond, rest) that invites personal encounter with the Living Word, fostering intimacy and allowing God's word to penetrate our depths.

9. Discern Christ's Presence in Ordinary Moments and Through Stability

They said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road?”

The power of staying. The disciples' choice to "stay" together was pivotal, leading to the meal where Jesus was recognized. In our transient society, committing to "stability"—faithfulness to a particular set of relationships—is a transformative discipline. It forces us to work through challenges rather than flee, fostering growth and deeper encounters with God, self, and others within the community God has given us.

Discernment in daily life. Discernment is the increasing capacity to recognize and respond to Christ's presence in all of life, not just major decisions. It's a mark of Christian maturity and a spiritual habit of noticing what gives or drains life. The Emmaus disciples' "hearts burning within them" was a visceral sign of Christ's presence. Discernment involves recognizing God at work and joining Him, distinguishing between consolation (life-giving connection) and desolation (feeling cut off).

Overcoming obstacles. Our "eyes were kept from recognizing him" due to various obstacles:

• Grief consuming our vision.
• Disillusionment leading to cynicism.
• Myopic focus on personal details, missing God's larger perspective.
• Foolishness or slowness of heart to believe God's revealed truth.
• Reliance on human wisdom over divine wisdom.
  Spiritual companions can gently help remove these blind spots, fostering a clearer vision of Christ's presence.

10. Bear Witness to Your Transformation: Journey Inward, Then Outward

Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread.

The rhythm of spiritual life. The Emmaus journey illustrates the essential rhythm of the spiritual life: a journey inward to a personal encounter with Jesus, then outward into community to share that experience, and finally into the world on mission. This chronology is crucial; deep grounding in God's unconditional love and personal transformation must precede effective engagement with others and the world.

Evangelism as testimony. The transformed Emmaus disciples couldn't wait to share their story. Evangelism, in this context, becomes an invitation to spiritual transformation, offered by someone who can bear witness to Christ's transforming power in their own life. It's not about selling an insurance policy, but sharing how Jesus makes the ordinary extraordinary, inviting others into the "fellowship of the burning hearts."

Formation fuels mission. Spiritual transformation is both an end in itself (bringing glory to God) and a means to discern and do God's will in the world. As Christ is formed in us, we gain the capacity to love the world He loves and engage in mission—evangelism, justice, compassion, peacemaking—not from human strength, but from God-guided action. This ongoing cycle of solitude, community, and mission, driven by Christ's presence, sustains us for the long haul.