Plot Summary
Escape or Damnation
Mae, a rebellious woman trapped in the oppressive religious cult of Sunnyside, stands at the edge of escape. The community, ruled by Prophet Ben and enforced by the cruel Lou, punishes women for the smallest infractions. Mae's only hope is an Outsider—a woman named Charlotte, posing as a dove farmer. With the threat of violence and damnation looming, Mae seizes her chance, aided by Charlotte's quick thinking. As they flee, Mae's heart aches for Lily, her closest friend, left behind to face a forced marriage. The escape is fraught with danger, guilt, and the knowledge that freedom comes at a steep price—not just for Mae, but for anyone she leaves behind. The emotional weight of survival and betrayal sets the tone for the journey ahead.
Funeral of Sins
In the aftermath of Andrew's death, Lily, Mae's gentle co-wife, is forced to perform happiness at his funeral. The cult's leader, Prophet Ben, uses the occasion to reinforce control, blaming Andrew's "sins" for his fiery demise. Lily's mother, Daisy, reveals that Lily is to marry Prophet Ben, separating her from Mae. The community's rules suffocate, and whispers of dissent and escape ripple beneath the surface. Lily's internal struggle between obedience and selfhood intensifies, as does her dependence on Mae for comfort and protection. The funeral marks a turning point: the loss of safety, the threat of forced marriage, and the deepening of the cult's psychological grip.
Outsider's Bargain
On the run, Mae discovers Charlotte is not a farmer but a true crime podcaster investigating Sunnyside's secrets. Mae, wary of exposure and the threat of police, spins lies to protect herself and the women left behind. Charlotte's probing questions about missing journalists and cult abuses force Mae to navigate a new world where truth is dangerous currency. The tension between survival and honesty grows, as Mae realizes that every answer could endanger herself or others. The outside world is no sanctuary—Mae must barter her story, her trust, and her future for a chance at safety, all while haunted by the trauma she carries.
Promises in the Night
In secret, Mae and Lily meet at night, their bond deepening as the cult's rules threaten to tear them apart. Lily, ever the "good woman," begs Mae to promise never to leave her. Mae, scarred by past punishments, promises loyalty but knows escape may be the only way to survive. Their nighttime conversations are filled with longing, fear, and the desperate hope for a future together. The cult's doctrine of severing "bad" from "good" women is embodied in their relationship—Lily's innocence and Mae's defiance are two halves of a whole, each incomplete without the other. The promise to stay together becomes both a comfort and a curse.
Nowhere Safe for Women
Mae's journey through the outside world is fraught with danger. At Buck's farm, she encounters new forms of male entitlement and violence, realizing that escape from Sunnyside does not guarantee safety. Even among supposed allies, Mae is objectified and threatened. Her only solace is Pauly, a gentle former cult member, but even he cannot shield her from the predatory Buck or the manipulative Jenny. The outside world mirrors the dangers of Sunnyside, forcing Mae to confront the grim reality that women's bodies and autonomy are never truly protected. The emotional toll of constant vigilance and betrayal deepens Mae's resolve to survive on her own terms.
Burning the Past
Back in Sunnyside, Lily is forced to participate in the ritual burning of the belongings of those who escape. The ceremony is both a warning and a punishment, reinforcing the cult's power and the impossibility of return. Lily's memories of Mae and their shared defiance haunt her, as does the growing suspicion that the cult's leaders are hiding darker secrets. The burning is not just of objects, but of hope, individuality, and the possibility of a different life. Lily's internal conflict between obedience and rebellion intensifies, setting the stage for a final, desperate act.
Lies for Survival
Desperate for money and freedom, Mae agrees to answer Charlotte's questions for cash. Each answer is a calculated risk, as Mae must balance the need for resources with the danger of revealing too much. The transaction is fraught with mistrust—Mae's lies are both shield and weapon. The outside world's curiosity about cults is a double-edged sword, offering both the possibility of justice and the threat of further exploitation. Mae's identity becomes increasingly fractured, as she performs the role of survivor, liar, and victim, all while plotting her next move.
Dinner with the Prophet
Lily is drawn deeper into Prophet Ben's orbit, subjected to his manipulations and the cult's shifting rules. The dinner scenes are suffused with menace—Ben's inappropriate advances, Daisy's complicity, and the ever-present threat of punishment. Lily's attempts to maintain her "good woman" persona are increasingly strained, as she is forced to suppress her true feelings and desires. The cult's doctrine of purity and obedience is revealed as a tool of control, with Lily's body and future bartered for the community's survival. The emotional cost of submission becomes unbearable, pushing Lily toward a breaking point.
The Price of Freedom
Mae's hard-won cash is stolen by Jenny, shattering her plans for escape. The betrayal is both practical and symbolic—no matter how hard Mae fights, the world conspires to keep her trapped. The loss of money is a loss of agency, forcing Mae to confront the limits of her power. The cycle of exploitation and violence continues, as Mae is forced to rely on others who may not have her best interests at heart. The emotional devastation of repeated betrayal cements Mae's transformation from victim to survivor, willing to do whatever it takes to reclaim her freedom.
The Good Woman's Burden
As the wedding approaches, Lily is increasingly isolated—her friends dead or gone, her mother complicit, and Mae forbidden. The cult rewards her with the "Good Woman Award," a hollow recognition that only deepens her sense of alienation. The pressure to be perfect, to erase all traces of rebellion or desire, becomes unbearable. Lily's internalized doctrine of obedience is both shield and prison, trapping her in a cycle of self-blame and submission. The emotional burden of being "good" is revealed as a form of violence, pushing Lily toward a final, desperate act of self-determination.
Drowning in Obedience
In a final act of agency, Lily asks Mae to help her die—believing it is the only way to escape the cult and reach heaven. The drowning is both literal and symbolic: the severing of "good" and "bad," the end of Lily's suffering, and the birth of Mae's guilt. Mae is left to carry the weight of Lily's death, haunted by the knowledge that survival sometimes requires unthinkable choices. The emotional climax is devastating—love, loss, and the impossibility of innocence in a world built on violence and control.
The Cult Within
Mae, now Lilymae, returns to Sunnyside, forced to confront the ghosts of her past. The revelation that Lily and Mae are two halves of the same person—split by trauma and doctrine—reframes the entire narrative. The cult's teachings about duality, sin, and obedience are revealed as mechanisms of psychological control, designed to fracture and dominate women's identities. Mae's journey becomes one of integration—reclaiming her wholeness, her agency, and her right to define herself outside the cult's binaries.
The Truth About Lily
The truth about Sunnyside's crimes comes to light: Daisy (Daisylou) is revealed as the true villain, orchestrating murders and punishments in the name of "Father God." The outside world, represented by Charlotte, Randy, and the police, finally intervenes. The cult's leaders are exposed, and justice—however imperfect—is served. Mae/Lilymae's testimony is central to unraveling the web of lies and violence. The reckoning is both personal and communal, as survivors begin to rebuild their lives and identities outside the cult's control.
The Last Goodbye
With Sunnyside dismantled and her abusers brought to justice, Mae—now fully Lilymae—faces the daunting task of building a new life. The journey is not one of simple healing, but of integration: accepting both her "good" and "bad" selves, forging a new identity that is neither victim nor villain. The outside world offers both possibility and peril, but for the first time, Lilymae has the agency to choose her path. The emotional arc resolves not with perfect happiness, but with the hard-won freedom to be whole, imperfect, and self-defined.
The Cellar and the Choice
Mae and Lily are dragged to the cellar by Lou/Daisylou, enduring torture meant to break their spirits before Lily's wedding. The cellar becomes a crucible—pain, solidarity, and the realization that survival may require the ultimate sacrifice. The two halves of Lilymae confront the impossibility of safety within the cult, and together, they make the choice that will end their suffering. The emotional intensity of this chapter cements the bond between Mae and Lily, even as it foreshadows their separation.
The End of Sunnyside
The final confrontation in the church brings all threads together: Daisylou's crimes are exposed, the cult's leaders are brought down, and the survivors reclaim their agency. The violence is both cathartic and tragic—there is no pure victory, only the messy, painful process of liberation. Mae/Lilymae's role as both witness and survivor is central, as she helps bring justice to Sunnyside and begins to imagine a life beyond its confines. The emotional resolution is bittersweet, marked by loss, relief, and the tentative hope of a new beginning.
Becoming Lilymae
In the aftermath, Lilymae begins the slow process of healing—learning to read, building friendships, and forging a new identity outside the binaries of "good" and "bad." The scars of Sunnyside remain, but so does the possibility of wholeness. Lilymae's journey is not toward perfection, but toward balance: the freedom to be sweet, gentle, happy, and blessed on her own terms. The story ends not with triumph, but with the quiet, hard-won dignity of survival and self-acceptance.
Analysis
Killing Lily is a harrowing exploration of the psychological violence inflicted by patriarchal cults, and the ways in which trauma fractures—and ultimately reshapes—identity
At its core, the novel interrogates the binaries of "good" and "bad" women, exposing how systems of control force survivors to split themselves in order to endure. The story's power lies in its refusal to offer easy redemption or healing: survival comes at a cost, and wholeness is achieved not by erasing the past, but by integrating its scars. The use of duality—embodied in Lilymae—serves as both a narrative engine and a metaphor for the struggle to reclaim agency in the aftermath of abuse. The novel critiques not only the cult's doctrine, but also the outside world's complicity in perpetuating violence against women—through curiosity, exploitation, and indifference. Ultimately, Killing Lily is a testament to the resilience of survivors, the necessity of solidarity, and the ongoing work of self-definition. Its lessons are urgent: freedom is not the absence of danger, but the hard-won right to choose, to say no, and to be whole on one's own terms.
Characters
Mae / Lilymae
Mae is the rebellious, "bad" half of Lilymae, forged by trauma and the cult's doctrine of severing women into "good" and "bad." She is fiercely protective of Lily, willing to endure pain and commit violence to shield her friend (and other women) from harm. Mae's journey is one of survival, guilt, and eventual integration—she must navigate a world that punishes both obedience and defiance, learning to trust herself and reclaim her agency. Her psychological complexity is rooted in the cult's teachings: she is both victim and perpetrator, protector and destroyer, forever haunted by the choices she is forced to make. Ultimately, Mae's arc is about becoming whole—accepting both her strength and vulnerability, and forging a new identity as Lilymae.
Lily
Lily is the "good" half of Lilymae, raised to be sweet, gentle, and submissive. She internalizes the cult's doctrine, striving for perfection even as it destroys her. Lily's dependence on Mae is both a source of comfort and a sign of her fragility—she cannot survive without her other half. Her forced marriage, isolation, and eventual death are the culmination of the cult's violence against women. Lily's psychological arc is one of gradual awakening: she comes to see the impossibility of goodness in a world built on control and abuse. Her final act—asking Mae to help her die—is both a tragedy and a reclamation of agency, allowing her to escape on her own terms.
Daisy / Daisylou / Lou
Daisy, Lily's mother, is both the enforcer of the cult's rules and the architect of its violence. As Lou (her dual-name), she metes out punishment, torture, and even murder in the name of "Father God." Her psychological complexity lies in her internalization of the cult's doctrine—she believes she is protecting women by controlling and breaking them. Daisy's relationship with Lily is fraught: she both loves and destroys her daughter, unable to see the harm she causes. Her eventual exposure and downfall are the result of her own contradictions—she is both victim and perpetrator, shaped by the same violence she inflicts.
Prophet Ben / Bradley Nelson
Ben is the outsider who becomes Sunnyside's leader, using charm, manipulation, and violence to consolidate power. His motivations are self-serving—he seeks control, wealth, and sexual access to women. Ben's psychological profile is that of a narcissist, exploiting the cult's doctrine for personal gain. His downfall comes when his secrets are exposed, revealing him as both a fraud and a victim of his own delusions. Ben's relationship with Lily is predatory, and his interactions with Mae are marked by mutual hostility and contempt.
Charlotte
Charlotte is the true crime podcaster who becomes Mae's unlikely rescuer and confidante. Her motivations are complex—she seeks justice, fame, and personal redemption for past failures. Charlotte's relationship with Mae is fraught with mistrust, but also genuine care. She is both a catalyst for change and a reminder of the outside world's own forms of exploitation. Charlotte's arc is one of learning to balance curiosity with empathy, and her role in exposing Sunnyside's crimes is central to the story's resolution.
Randy
Randy is Charlotte's cousin, a physically and emotionally scarred man who becomes Mae's travel companion. His gruff exterior masks a deep sense of inadequacy and guilt. Randy's relationship with Mae is marked by awkward attempts at heroism, often undermined by his own limitations. He is both a source of comic relief and a reminder that men, too, are shaped by systems of violence and control. Randy's arc is one of learning to listen, apologize, and support women without seeking to control or save them.
Esther
Esther is Charlotte's wife, initially wary of Mae but ultimately supportive. Her skepticism and bluntness provide a counterpoint to Charlotte's idealism. Esther's own experiences of loss and marginalization inform her empathy for Mae, and her role as a new mother adds depth to her character. Esther's arc is one of moving from suspicion to solidarity, learning to trust and support other women in their healing.
Annabelle / Anna
Annabelle, formerly Anna, is a former cult member who escapes and helps Mae navigate the outside world. Her kindness and resilience are a source of comfort for Mae, and her own experiences of abuse and escape mirror Mae's journey. Annabelle's arc is one of transformation—she reclaims her name, her autonomy, and her right to define herself outside the cult's binaries.
Joshua
Joshua is an orator whose grief and frustration turn to violence. His attempted assault on Lily and subsequent punishment reveal the cult's double standards—men are forgiven, women are blamed. Joshua's arc is one of decline—he becomes increasingly unstable, lashing out as his power wanes. His relationship with Lily is predatory, and his interactions with Mae are marked by fear and resentment.
Pauly
Pauly is the only orator who treats women with kindness, but his difference makes him a target. His escape from Sunnyside is both a victory and a loss—he cannot protect Mae or Lily, and his absence leaves them more vulnerable. Pauly's arc is one of quiet resistance, and his fate underscores the impossibility of goodness in a corrupt system.
Plot Devices
Duality and Fragmented Identity
The central plot device is the cult's teaching that women must sever their "bad" selves to become "good." This doctrine is literalized in the split between Lily and Mae—two halves of one person, each embodying different survival strategies. The narrative structure alternates between their perspectives, blurring the line between reality and psychological fragmentation. This device allows the story to explore the effects of trauma, control, and resistance on identity, and to dramatize the process of integration and healing.
Unreliable Narration and Withheld Truths
The story is told through alternating first-person accounts, with each narrator withholding or distorting information for survival. Mae's lies to Charlotte, Lily's self-deception, and the cult's propaganda all contribute to a sense of uncertainty and suspense. Foreshadowing is used to hint at deeper secrets—missing journalists, unexplained deaths, and the true nature of the cult's violence. The gradual revelation of the truth about Lilymae's identity and the cult's crimes is central to the story's emotional and narrative arc.
Rituals, Punishments, and Symbolic Acts
The cult's rituals—funerals, burnings, weddings, punishments—are used to enforce obedience and erase individuality. These acts are both literal and symbolic, marking transitions in the characters' journeys. The burning of belongings, the awarding of the "Good Woman" necklace, and the final acts of violence in the church all serve as turning points, forcing characters to confront the reality of their situation and make impossible choices.
Outsider Perspective and Investigative Structure
The presence of Charlotte, the true crime podcaster, introduces an outsider perspective and a meta-narrative about the ethics of storytelling, justice, and exploitation. Her investigation provides a structure for the gradual unraveling of Sunnyside's secrets, and her interactions with Mae highlight the complexities of trust, agency, and representation. The podcast and police investigation serve as vehicles for both justice and further trauma, complicating the resolution.
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