Searching...
English
EnglishEnglish
EspañolSpanish
简体中文Chinese
FrançaisFrench
DeutschGerman
日本語Japanese
PortuguêsPortuguese
ItalianoItalian
한국어Korean
РусскийRussian
NederlandsDutch
العربيةArabic
PolskiPolish
हिन्दीHindi
Tiếng ViệtVietnamese
SvenskaSwedish
ΕλληνικάGreek
TürkçeTurkish
ไทยThai
ČeštinaCzech
RomânăRomanian
MagyarHungarian
УкраїнськаUkrainian
Bahasa IndonesiaIndonesian
DanskDanish
SuomiFinnish
БългарскиBulgarian
עבריתHebrew
NorskNorwegian
HrvatskiCroatian
CatalàCatalan
SlovenčinaSlovak
LietuviųLithuanian
SlovenščinaSlovenian
СрпскиSerbian
EestiEstonian
LatviešuLatvian
فارسیPersian
മലയാളംMalayalam
தமிழ்Tamil
اردوUrdu
If Only You

If Only You

by Chloe Liese 2023 376 pages
4.02
21.3K ratings
Listen
Try Full Access for 3 Days
Unlock listening & more!
Continue

Plot Summary

Wedding Wedgies and Wounds

A wedding, a wedgie, and overheard doubts

Ziggy (Sigrid) Bergman, the youngest of seven, attends her brother's wedding, only to be overwhelmed by sensory discomfort and overhear teammates doubting her maturity and confidence. Fleeing to escape both her wedgie and her feelings, she stumbles into a private moment with Sebastian Gauthier, her brother's infamous hockey-star best friend. Their awkward, charged encounter—complete with Sebastian catching her discarded underwear—sets the tone for a relationship built on mutual irritation, unexpected attraction, and the sense that both are seen as less than they are.

Bad Boy, Broken Image

Sebastian's spiral and public disgrace

Sebastian, reeling from a string of self-destructive choices—bar fights, a car crash, and a bruised reputation—faces the wrath of his agent and the disappointment of his best friend, Ren. He's forced to confront the reality that his career and relationships are on the line. Meanwhile, Ziggy's family coddles her, and her teammates underestimate her, leaving her desperate to be seen as an adult. Both are at personal crossroads, craving change but unsure how to achieve it.

Family Tables and Frustrations

Ziggy's struggle for recognition at home

At a family dinner, Ziggy is relegated to the kids' table, her opinions and adulthood dismissed. She aches to be seen as more than the baby of the family, to have her growth acknowledged. The conversation turns to Sebastian's latest scandal, and Ziggy is surprised by her empathy for him. She resolves to change her image, to be noticed and respected, but is unsure how to start.

A Deal on the Balcony

A proposal for mutual transformation

Ziggy, inspired by a sports broadcast labeling Sebastian a "bad boy," seeks him out with a bold plan: they'll be seen together, leveraging his notoriety to roughen her image and her "good girl" reputation to polish his. Their agreement is strictly transactional—no romance, just public friendship. Yet, the chemistry between them is undeniable, and both sense the risk of getting too close.

Project Ziggy 2.0 Begins

First steps into the spotlight

Their first public outing is a test: Ziggy, anxious and self-conscious, struggles with attention, while Sebastian is forced to act the part of a reformed man. They navigate awkwardness, flirtation, and the scrutiny of onlookers. Ziggy's panic in the diner is soothed by Sebastian's unexpected steadiness, hinting at a deeper connection than either anticipated.

First Outing, First Panic

Anxiety, comfort, and new dynamics

Ziggy's social anxiety peaks under the gaze of strangers, but Sebastian's grounding presence helps her through. They share food on the hood of his car, opening up about their struggles—Ziggy's discomfort with being seen, Sebastian's difficulty nourishing himself outside of hockey. Their banter softens, and a fragile trust begins to form.

Angry Yoga, Angry Tears

Letting go and breaking down

To sell their "friendship," they try angry yoga together. The session becomes cathartic: Ziggy, overwhelmed by repressed emotions, breaks down in tears, and Sebastian holds her, offering comfort he rarely gives. The experience bonds them, revealing vulnerabilities and forging a real, if tentative, friendship beneath the pretense.

Friends in Public, Friends in Private

Testing boundaries and building trust

As their public appearances continue, Ziggy and Sebastian navigate the blurred lines between performance and reality. They support each other through challenges—Ziggy's efforts to be seen as an adult, Sebastian's struggle to eat and care for himself. Their friendship deepens, marked by inside jokes, shared meals, and moments of genuine care.

Image Overhauls and Honest Talks

Confronting the past and seeking change

Both are forced to reckon with their histories: Sebastian's pattern of self-sabotage and guilt, Ziggy's fight to be recognized as more than the family baby. They begin to open up about their pain—Sebastian's family trauma, Ziggy's autistic identity and sensory needs. Their honesty fosters intimacy, but also raises the stakes of their connection.

Family Dinners and New Boundaries

Redefining relationships and self-worth

Ziggy asserts herself at family gatherings, demanding to be treated as an adult. Sebastian, meanwhile, faces the consequences of his actions and the challenge of making amends. Both learn to set boundaries—with family, with each other, and with the world—growing in confidence and self-respect.

The Roller Race Revelation

Public success and private vulnerability

At a charity roller race, their partnership is put to the test. Ziggy shines in the spotlight, while Sebastian navigates the scrutiny of teammates and the media. Afterward, a confrontation with his past leaves Sebastian shaken, and Ziggy is there to support him. Their friendship becomes real, rooted in mutual care and understanding.

After-Party Confessions

Crossing lines and facing consequences

The after-party blurs the boundaries between friendship and desire. A charged, intimate moment leads to a passionate kiss, but Sebastian pulls away, afraid of hurting Ziggy or betraying Ren's trust. Both are left reeling—wanting more, but unsure if they can risk it.

Becoming Real Friends

Honesty, healing, and new rules

They agree to remain friends, but the emotional and physical tension simmers beneath the surface. Ziggy helps Sebastian adapt to his celiac diagnosis, supporting him through dietary changes and self-care. Their bond is tested by distance, busy schedules, and the challenge of maintaining boundaries, but their affection only grows.

Boundaries, Kisses, and Confusion

Desire, denial, and longing

As their friendship deepens, so does their attraction. They share more stolen kisses, each time vowing to keep things platonic. Both struggle with their feelings—Ziggy fears rejection, Sebastian fears inadequacy. Their longing becomes a quiet ache, coloring every interaction.

Flour Fights and Food Fears

Playfulness and vulnerability in the kitchen

A flour fight while baking gluten-free treats becomes a metaphor for their relationship: messy, unexpected, and full of laughter. Sebastian lets Ziggy care for him, accepting help and comfort. Their intimacy grows, but so does the fear of what might happen if they cross the line for good.

Distance, Desire, and Denial

Separation and the pain of waiting

As the hockey and soccer seasons ramp up, their time together dwindles. Phone calls and texts replace in-person moments, and both feel the strain. Ziggy misses Sebastian "too much," while he battles his own demons, determined to become worthy of her love. The waiting becomes its own kind of agony.

Shakespeare Club and Sexual Tension

Performance, passion, and possibility

At the family's secret Shakespeare Club, Ziggy and Sebastian are cast as Beatrice and Benedick, their banter laced with sexual tension. The performance becomes a safe space to express feelings they can't name aloud. The line between acting and reality blurs, and both begin to hope for more.

The Season of Waiting

Growth, setbacks, and self-discovery

Months pass in a cycle of longing and self-improvement. Sebastian works with a therapist, striving to break old patterns and believe in his own worth. Ziggy continues to assert herself, both in her family and on the field. Their friendship endures, but the question of "more" hangs between them, unanswered.

The A-Frame Awakening

A reunion, a confession, and a leap

At the family's A-frame cabin, surrounded by nature and memories, Ziggy and Sebastian finally confront their feelings. After a series of comic and heartfelt interventions by her brothers, they confess their love beneath a blossoming tree. The moment is tender, raw, and transformative—two people choosing each other, flaws and all.

Love, Acceptance, and New Beginnings

Building a life together, one day at a time

With the support of their families and the hard-won lessons of their journey, Ziggy and Sebastian begin a new chapter. They embrace the messiness of love—navigating intimacy, vulnerability, and the ongoing work of healing. Their story ends not with a perfect happily ever after, but with the promise of a future built on honesty, acceptance, and the courage to be seen.

Characters

Ziggy (Sigrid) Bergman

Youngest Bergman, seeking recognition

Ziggy is the youngest of seven in a boisterous Swedish-American family, a professional soccer player, and an autistic woman with deep sensory sensitivities. Her journey is one of self-assertion: she's tired of being babied and overlooked, desperate to be seen as an adult by her family, teammates, and the world. Ziggy's relationship with Sebastian is transformative—he's the first to treat her as a grown woman, not a fragile child. Her psychological arc is about claiming her voice, embracing her desires, and learning that vulnerability is not weakness. Through her friendship and eventual romance with Sebastian, she discovers the power of being truly seen and loved for who she is.

Sebastian Gauthier

Reckless hockey star, craving redemption

Sebastian is a notorious "bad boy" on the ice and off, haunted by a legacy of family trauma, abandonment, and self-sabotage. His public image is in shambles, and he's convinced he's irredeemable. Beneath the bravado and tattoos, Sebastian is deeply lonely, using alcohol, sex, and rebellion to numb his pain. Ziggy's proposal for a fake friendship becomes a lifeline, forcing him to confront his fears and open up. His arc is one of slow, painful growth—learning to accept help, make amends, and believe he's worthy of love. With Ziggy, he finds the courage to be vulnerable, to hope, and to build a future beyond his past.

Ren Bergman

Protective brother, steadfast friend

Ren is Ziggy's older brother and Sebastian's best friend, a gentle giant with a heart of gold. He's the glue of the Bergman family, always looking out for his siblings and teammates. Ren's unwavering belief in Sebastian's goodness is both a comfort and a challenge, pushing Sebastian to live up to his potential. Ren's relationship with Ziggy is loving but sometimes overbearing, and he must learn to let her grow on her own terms.

Frankie

Fierce agent, family matriarch

Frankie is Ren's wife, Sebastian's agent, and a force of nature. She's tough, direct, and deeply caring, especially for her clients and family. Frankie's own experiences with chronic illness and neurodivergence make her a source of wisdom and support for both Ziggy and Sebastian. She pushes Sebastian to take responsibility for his actions and helps Ziggy navigate the complexities of public life.

Viggo Bergman

Chaos demon, protective brother

Viggo is one of Ziggy's closest siblings, a prankster with a big heart. He's fiercely protective of Ziggy, sometimes to a fault, and struggles to let her make her own choices. Viggo's antics provide comic relief, but his loyalty and love are unwavering. His journey is about learning to trust Ziggy's judgment and support her autonomy.

Oliver Bergman

Gentle confidant, bridge-builder

Oliver is Ziggy's other closest brother, a calming presence who often mediates family conflicts. He's supportive, empathetic, and quietly wise, helping Ziggy process her feelings and navigate the family's dynamics. Oliver's partnership with Gavin, a retired soccer star, models a healthy, loving relationship.

Charlie

Best friend, anchor outside the family

Charlie is Ziggy's childhood friend and teammate, a fellow soccer player with her own history of public scrutiny and family drama. She's Ziggy's confidante, offering perspective and support from outside the Bergman bubble. Charlie's boundaries and honesty help Ziggy learn to advocate for herself.

Catherine and Edward

Sebastian's mother and stepfather, sources of pain

Catherine is emotionally distant, and Edward is coldly abusive, shaping Sebastian's sense of unworthiness and fueling his self-destructive patterns. Their reappearance forces Sebastian to confront his past and set boundaries, a crucial step in his healing.

Axel and Ryder Bergman

Older brothers, family pillars

Axel and Ryder represent the Bergman family's strength and stability. They support Ziggy in their own ways, offering advice, protection, and, eventually, acceptance of her choices. Their presence underscores the importance of family, both as a source of comfort and as a challenge to individual growth.

The Bergman Family

Loving, chaotic, and evolving

The Bergmans are a vibrant, messy, deeply loving clan. Their dynamic is both a source of comfort and frustration for Ziggy, who must learn to assert her independence while remaining connected. The family's journey mirrors Ziggy's: learning to see each other as they are, not as they were.

Plot Devices

Dual POV and Alternating Narration

Two voices, two journeys, one love story

The novel alternates between Ziggy and Sebastian's perspectives, allowing readers to experience their internal struggles, desires, and growth in parallel. This structure deepens empathy and highlights the ways their stories mirror and diverge.

Fake Friendship/Publicity Stunt

Pretend partnership becomes real connection

The central device—a mutually beneficial "friendship" for public image—creates forced proximity and emotional vulnerability. As they perform for the world, Ziggy and Sebastian are compelled to confront their true selves and each other, blurring the line between act and reality.

Family as Both Obstacle and Support

Love, protection, and the need to grow

The Bergman family's warmth and overprotectiveness are both a comfort and a challenge for Ziggy. Sebastian's fraught relationship with his own family serves as a foil, highlighting the importance of acceptance, boundaries, and chosen family.

Symbolic Settings

Spaces of transformation and truth

Key locations—the wedding terrace, Sebastian's balcony, the family dinner table, the A-frame cabin—serve as crucibles for change. The A-frame, in particular, is a place of reckoning and renewal, where love is confessed and new beginnings are forged.

Physical and Emotional Sensory Detail

Embodied experience, neurodivergent perspective

The narrative is rich with sensory detail, reflecting Ziggy's autistic experience and Sebastian's physicality as an athlete. Sensory overload, food, touch, and movement are not just background—they are central to character development and emotional stakes.

Slow Burn and Delayed Gratification

Desire, denial, and eventual fulfillment

The romance unfolds gradually, with repeated near-misses, boundary negotiations, and moments of longing. This slow burn heightens tension and makes the eventual union deeply satisfying and earned.

Healing Through Mutual Vulnerability

Growth, therapy, and the courage to be seen

Both protagonists must confront their pasts, seek help, and risk vulnerability. Therapy, honest conversation, and the willingness to be seen in their messiest moments are essential to their healing and to the authenticity of their love.

Analysis

A modern romance about being seen, being brave, and being loved as you are

If Only You is more than a love story—it's a meditation on the courage it takes to grow, to be vulnerable, and to claim your place in the world. Through Ziggy and Sebastian, Chloe Liese explores the complexities of neurodivergence, trauma, and the longing for acceptance. The novel challenges the idea that people are fixed in their roles—"the baby," "the bad boy"—and instead celebrates the messy, incremental work of becoming. Family is both a source of comfort and a crucible for change; love is not a cure, but a catalyst for healing. The story's slow burn, rich sensory detail, and dual perspectives invite readers to inhabit the characters' emotional landscapes. Ultimately, If Only You is about the transformative power of being truly seen—by others, and by yourself—and the joy that comes from loving and being loved, not in spite of your flaws, but because of them.

Last updated:

Want to read the full book?

Review Summary

4.02 out of 5
Average of 21.3K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

If Only You by Chloe Liese follows Ziggy Bergman, an autistic bisexual soccer player, and Sebastian Gauthier, a pansexual hockey player with a troubled reputation. They form a fake friendship to help each other's public image. Most reviewers praised the slow-burn romance, excellent representation, strong character development, and the beloved Bergman family dynamics. Many highlighted the healthy communication and emotional depth. Common criticisms included overly long monologues, rushed endings, extremely slow pacing with minimal intimacy until late in the book, and some questioning of the authenticity of the LGBTQ+ representation.

Your rating:
4.8
5 ratings

About the Author

Chloe Liese is a USA Today bestselling author known for her inclusive romantic fiction featuring neurodivergent characters, chronic illness representation, and LGBTQ+ themes. Her Bergman Brothers series has developed a devoted following for its authentic portrayals and emotional storytelling. Readers consistently praise her own-voices representation, particularly of autism and various health conditions. Liese believes everyone deserves a love story and reflects this philosophy through diverse, relatable characters. When not writing, she enjoys reading, cooking, nature, and spending time with her family. Her books are characterized by slow-burn romances, strong family dynamics, and characters who communicate openly about their feelings and struggles.

Listen
Now playing
If Only You
0:00
-0:00
Now playing
If Only You
0:00
-0:00
1x
Voice
Speed
Dan
Andrew
Michelle
Lauren
1.0×
+
200 words per minute
Queue
Home
Swipe
Library
Get App
Create a free account to unlock:
Recommendations: Personalized for you
Requests: Request new book summaries
Bookmarks: Save your favorite books
History: Revisit books later
Ratings: Rate books & see your ratings
600,000+ readers
Try Full Access for 3 Days
Listen, bookmark, and more
Compare Features Free Pro
📖 Read Summaries
Read unlimited summaries. Free users get 3 per month
🎧 Listen to Summaries
Listen to unlimited summaries in 40 languages
❤️ Unlimited Bookmarks
Free users are limited to 4
📜 Unlimited History
Free users are limited to 4
📥 Unlimited Downloads
Free users are limited to 1
Risk-Free Timeline
Today: Get Instant Access
Listen to full summaries of 26,000+ books. That's 12,000+ hours of audio!
Day 2: Trial Reminder
We'll send you a notification that your trial is ending soon.
Day 3: Your subscription begins
You'll be charged on Mar 16,
cancel anytime before.
Consume 2.8× More Books
2.8× more books Listening Reading
Our users love us
600,000+ readers
Trustpilot Rating
TrustPilot
4.6 Excellent
This site is a total game-changer. I've been flying through book summaries like never before. Highly, highly recommend.
— Dave G
Worth my money and time, and really well made. I've never seen this quality of summaries on other websites. Very helpful!
— Em
Highly recommended!! Fantastic service. Perfect for those that want a little more than a teaser but not all the intricate details of a full audio book.
— Greg M
Save 62%
Yearly
$119.88 $44.99/year/yr
$3.75/mo
Monthly
$9.99/mo
Start a 3-Day Free Trial
3 days free, then $44.99/year. Cancel anytime.
Scanner
Find a barcode to scan

We have a special gift for you
Open
38% OFF
DISCOUNT FOR YOU
$79.99
$49.99/year
only $4.16 per month
Continue
2 taps to start, super easy to cancel
Settings
General
Widget
Loading...
We have a special gift for you
Open
38% OFF
DISCOUNT FOR YOU
$79.99
$49.99/year
only $4.16 per month
Continue
2 taps to start, super easy to cancel