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Hear & Beyond

Hear & Beyond

Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss
by Shari Eberts 2022 306 pages
4.26
94 ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace the Personal, Yet Universal, Hearing Loss Journey

For most people, it’s a continuous journey with stages that vary in duration and intensity, depending on a person’s individual circumstances.

A unique path. Living with hearing loss is a deeply personal experience, yet it follows a common trajectory for many. This journey isn't a one-time event but a continuous process with distinct stages, from initial denial to skillful adaptation. Understanding these phases helps individuals prepare for what to expect and manage their unique path.

Five transformative stages. The typical hearing loss journey unfolds through five stages, each with its own challenges and opportunities for growth. These include:

  • Debating with yourself: The initial suspicion and denial, often lasting years.
  • Validating: Seeking professional confirmation of hearing loss.
  • Taking charge: Actively adopting strategies and technology.
  • Living skillfully: Consistently applying learned strategies in daily life.
  • Refreshing and restarting: Adapting to changes in hearing or technology, rerouting as needed.

Beyond communication. Addressing hearing loss is crucial for overall well-being, extending beyond just understanding conversations. Untreated hearing loss is linked to serious health issues like diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and an increased risk of falls and dementia. Recognizing this broader impact underscores the importance of proactive engagement with one's hearing health.

2. Cultivate Empowering MindShifts to Transform Your Outlook

Our attitudes towards our hearing loss had changed, and suddenly the hearing loss itself changed!

Attitude is everything. A hearing loss diagnosis often brings emotional burdens like shame, embarrassment, or anger, fueled by societal misconceptions. These negative attitudes can lead to self-doubt and isolation, preventing effective communication. Cultivating "MindShifts" means reframing these unproductive thoughts into constructive, actionable statements that empower you.

From victim to victor. MindShifts are not about curing hearing loss, but about changing your internal narrative. Instead of asking "Why me?" embrace the belief that "I have the potential to change my journey." Rather than feeling alone, recognize that "Many people experience the same challenges as I do. I can learn from them. I’m not alone." This shift in perspective is a powerful catalyst for better communication and a more fulfilling life.

Communicate, don't just hear. The ultimate goal isn't merely to "hear better," as technology has its limits, but to "communicate better." This involves actively supporting hearing aids with improved emotional attitudes and other strategies. An optimistic mindset makes technology more effective and conversations more engaging, transforming barriers into stepping-stones for success.

3. Befriend Technology as a Powerful Communication Ally

Technology is my friend. My devices let me hear sounds I had forgotten or had never heard before. They connect me to other people and the world.

Embrace the tech revolution. We live in an era of unprecedented technological advancements, making it the best time ever to navigate hearing loss. Overcome reluctance stemming from cost, perceived age, or past negative experiences by recognizing the transformative power of modern hearing electronics. Today's devices are sleek, sophisticated, and capable of profoundly improving sound experiences.

Diverse tools for diverse needs. Hearing technology extends beyond traditional hearing aids, offering a spectrum of solutions for various degrees of loss and lifestyles. These include:

  • Hearing aids: The primary workhorse, chosen with HCP guidance.
  • Cochlear implants: A "miracle" for severe to profound loss, bypassing damaged hair cells.
  • Direct-to-consumer (DTC) devices: Hearables, amplifiers, and alerting devices offering accessible options.
  • Smartphone apps: Speech-to-text and amplifier apps for real-time assistance.
  • External accommodations: Public systems like hearing loops and captioning.

Beyond amplification. Modern hearing devices offer features like T-coils and Bluetooth streaming, which are crucial for universal connectivity. T-coils link to public hearing loops and compatible telephones, while Bluetooth enables wireless streaming from personal devices like smartphones and TVs. These features bring sound directly into your ears, significantly enhancing comprehension and reducing listening effort in various environments.

4. Master the "HEAR" Framework for Effective Communication

This communication checklist, the mother of all Hearing Hacks, is a quick and effective process to determine what needs to change in any communication situation and how to make it happen.

Your personal communication toolkit. The "HEAR" framework is a simple yet powerful four-step checklist designed to evaluate and improve any listening situation. It empowers individuals to take charge of their communication, moving beyond passive acceptance to active problem-solving. With practice, HEAR becomes an intuitive and invaluable skill.

The HEAR steps:

  • H: Hearing check: Can I understand what's being said? If not, something needs to change.
  • E: Evaluate: Assess the environment (noise, lighting, seating) and conversation partners (speech clarity, speed, obstructions).
  • A: Articulate: Confidently ask for what you need, whether it's a quieter table, clearer speech, or a different seating arrangement.
  • R: Revise and remind: Adjust strategies as the situation changes and gently remind others if they revert to old habits.

Empowerment through action. Articulating your needs can be challenging, but it's a crucial step. Remember the MindShift: "I deserve to hear and be heard. I deserve to participate." By using HEAR, you not only improve your own experience but also educate others, fostering a more inclusive communication environment. This systematic approach transforms frustrating situations into manageable opportunities for connection.

5. Practice Confident Self-Advocacy and Open Disclosure

Being open about my hearing loss will help me communicate better. Trying to hide my hearing loss leads to misunderstandings.

Shedding the "invisible" cloak. Hearing loss is often an "invisible" disability, but attempting to hide it can lead to misunderstandings and isolation. Self-identifying confidently is a fundamental tool, allowing you to take charge of communication by clearly stating your needs upfront. This proactive approach prevents others from misinterpreting your struggles as disinterest or lack of intelligence.

How to self-identify effectively:

  • Choose your label: Whether "hard of hearing," "person with hearing loss," or "deaf," select the term that resonates with you.
  • Explain your experience: Use analogies like "playing Wheel of Fortune" or "I hear with my eyes" to help others understand.
  • State specific needs: Clearly articulate what helps you, such as "Please speak a little louder or slower" or "I need to see your lips."
  • Make it visible: Consider wearing buttons, pins, or decorating devices to signal your hearing loss.

Advocacy benefits all. When you advocate for yourself, you also champion better accessibility for the entire hearing loss community. Every request, from lowering restaurant music to asking for caption readers at the theater, contributes to broader awareness and systemic change. Don't accept dismissals like "never mind"; assert your right to participate fully in conversations and life.

6. Build a Robust Support Network for Your Hearing Life

There’s a difference between needing help and feeling helpless. People with hearing loss are not helpless; but to communicate better, they need the support of others.

A collective journey. Hearing loss is not a solo endeavor; it impacts everyone you regularly interact with. Building a strong support network—comprising family, friends, peers, and professionals—is crucial for navigating the emotional and practical aspects of your journey. This network provides not only emotional solace but also practical assistance and honest feedback.

Recruiting your family team:

  • Open dialogue: Discuss your emotional struggles and frustrations openly.
  • Experiential learning: Have family members wear earplugs to simulate hearing difficulties.
  • Normalize hearing loss: Integrate it as a normal part of family dynamics, influencing activity choices.
  • Teach best practices: Educate them on communication strategies like facing you and speaking clearly.
  • Involve them: Bring them to HCP appointments and partner in self-advocacy efforts.

The power of peers. Connecting with other individuals who have hearing loss offers immense validation, support, and practical knowledge. Peer groups provide a safe space to share experiences, learn tips and tricks, and realize you are not alone. Whether through online forums, local chapters, or national conventions, these connections can be life-changing, fostering a sense of community and empowerment.

7. Nurture Relationships Through Adapted Communication Strategies

More than any other type of relationship, romantic liaisons thrive on good communication. When hearing loss enters the equation, strategies need to be redesigned and practiced because there is a lot more at stake.

Communication is the glue. Hearing loss can strain relationships, from casual acquaintances to intimate partners, by disrupting the fundamental act of communication. It's a two-way street: you must share your emotional struggles, and your loved ones must understand their frustrations. This mutual adaptation requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to learn new ways of interacting.

Strategies for romantic relationships:

  • Early disclosure: Be direct about your hearing loss early in dating to avoid misunderstandings.
  • Create signals: Develop non-verbal cues with your partner to indicate when you're struggling to hear.
  • Set ground rules: Establish clear communication guidelines for group settings and daily interactions.
  • Workarounds: Find creative solutions for shared activities, including intimate moments (e.g., "lights on" for pillow talk).
  • Fair fighting: Adapt argument styles to ensure both partners can see and hear each other clearly.

Workplace connections. In professional settings, disclosing your hearing loss is a "when," not an "if." It's an opportunity to demonstrate that with effective support, your hearing loss is not a hindrance but a factor to be accommodated. Partner with colleagues and leverage workplace disability forums to find solutions and foster stronger, more authentic relationships.

8. Implement Practical "Hearing Hacks" for Daily Activities

Hacks are tricks, techniques, or workarounds that make everyday tasks easier. They help us better manage our time or do something more efficiently.

Smart solutions for everyday life. "Hearing Hacks" are practical tips and workarounds that simplify living with hearing loss across various situations. These aren't just theoretical concepts but actionable strategies that make social events, entertainment, health care, work, and travel more accessible and enjoyable. They are the "secret sauce" for skillful living.

Hacks for various scenarios:

  • Dining out: Choose quiet restaurants, plan seating, use remote mics or speech-to-text apps.
  • Entertainment: Select captioned movies/theater, use assistive listening devices, protect hearing at concerts with earplugs.
  • Health care: Self-identify, bring a communication access plan, use visuals, and bring a "hearing buddy" to appointments.
  • Workplace: Optimize office setup, use captioned phones, request video calls, and utilize remote mics in meetings.
  • Travel: Pack extra batteries/chargers, use alerting devices, self-identify at check-in, and use rearview mirrors for car safety.

The "all-occasion" essentials. Beyond specific scenarios, universal hacks apply to almost everything you do. Always self-identify, be prepared, arrive early, keep devices charged, use assistive listening devices, and get a "hearing buddy." Most importantly, consistently apply the HEAR framework to take charge of any communication situation, making your life easier and more connected.

9. Prioritize Self-Care and Protect Your Residual Hearing

Whether we realize it or not—and most of us do—even when we develop a healthier mindset, stress is a by-product of living with hearing loss.

Combatting listening fatigue. Living with hearing loss demands extraordinary mental energy for concentration, leading to stress, frustration, and physical tension. Prioritizing self-care is essential to manage this burden and prevent burnout. This involves both physical and mental strategies to reduce stress and maintain overall well-being.

Key self-care practices:

  • Energy management: Ensure adequate sleep, healthy eating, and regular exercise to build reserves. Take breaks during intense listening situations.
  • Stress reduction: Practice meditation, deep breathing, and yoga. Engage in hobbies that allow you to disconnect and decompress.
  • Emotional well-being: Practice gratitude, find humor in mishears, and forgive yourself and others for communication mistakes.
  • Journaling: Record thoughts and feelings to track emotional changes and gain perspective.

Preserve what you have. Protecting your residual hearing is paramount to prevent further damage. Loud noise exposure can cause permanent loss, so always follow simple guidelines: move away from loud sounds, turn down the volume, reduce exposure time, and wear earplugs or earmuffs in noisy environments. Your hearing is precious, and conscious protection ensures its longevity.

10. Recognize Hearing Loss as an Ongoing, Evolving Journey

Living skillfully with hearing loss is an ongoing process, and so, for each of us, the journey continues.

A dynamic, lifelong process. The hearing loss journey is not a puzzle with a finite solution but a continuous process of learning, adapting, and evolving. Just when you feel you have it all figured out, circumstances change—hearing levels fluctuate, technology advances, or life throws new curveballs. This dynamic nature requires ongoing engagement and resilience.

Embrace continuous learning. View changes and setbacks as opportunities to refresh and restart your strategies. Stay informed about new technologies, communication techniques, and support resources. Engage with articles, books, informational websites, and social media outlets to continuously expand your knowledge and problem-solving toolkit.

Connect and grow. The journey is richer when shared. Connect with authors, trusted hearing care professionals, and especially with peers who understand your experiences. Their insights, support, and shared wisdom can provide invaluable guidance and inspiration. By embracing this ongoing process, you can confidently navigate the challenges and create your best life with hearing loss.

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Review Summary

4.26 out of 5
Average of 94 ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Hear & Beyond receives overwhelmingly positive reviews (4.26/5 stars) from readers experiencing hearing loss at various stages. Reviewers praise the book's practical tips, validation of their experiences, and insights into communication challenges. Many found it life-changing, noting it helped them understand hearing aids' limitations and encouraged self-advocacy. The co-authors' personal experiences and humor make it engaging and relatable. Helpful for both those with hearing loss and their loved ones, though some felt it was repetitive or too high-level for experienced advocates.

Your rating:
4.64
1 ratings

About the Author

Shari Eberts is an internationally recognized hearing health advocate, author, and speaker specializing in hearing loss issues. She founded Living with Hearing Loss, a widely-read blog and online community, and served as executive producer for We Hear You, an award-winning documentary about hearing loss experiences. Co-authoring Hear & Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss with Gael Hannan, she created a comprehensive guide for living well with hearing loss. Having adult-onset genetic hearing loss herself, Shari shares her personal journey to help others navigate their own hearing challenges more peacefully.

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