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Find Me

Find Me

by Ashley N. Rostek 2021 274 pages
4.31
39.6K ratings
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Plot Summary

Blood and Lilac Beginnings

A family shattered by violence

Shiloh's life is forever changed the night her twin sister, Shayla, is murdered before her eyes by the infamous Mr. X. Frozen in terror, Shiloh survives, but the trauma leaves her scarred inside and out. Now, with her family gone, she's thrust into the witness protection program under the care of her uncle Logan, a gruff but loving ex-Navy SEAL. Shiloh dyes her hair lilac in memory of Shayla, a small act of rebellion and remembrance. The story opens with her haunted by nightmares, struggling to find her footing in a new Arizona town, her every move shadowed by the threat of Mr. X, who remains at large. The pain of loss and the fear of being found are constant companions as she tries to rebuild her life.

Panic Rooms and Purple Couches

Building safety in a new world

Shiloh and Logan settle into their new home, fortifying it with panic rooms, security systems, and hidden weapons. The house becomes a fortress, a physical manifestation of Shiloh's need for safety. She chooses bold, colorful furniture—purple couches and turquoise tables—as a declaration of her intent to live bravely, inspired by Shayla's fearless spirit. Yet, the emptiness of the house and the absence of her family weigh heavily. Shiloh's coping mechanisms—running, smoking, and the occasional drink—are both a comfort and a crutch. Logan's looming departure for a new assignment leaves Shiloh anxious about facing the world alone, but she's determined to honor her family by moving forward.

Goodbye, Guardian

Facing independence and fear

Logan's sudden call to help track Mr. X forces Shiloh to confront her greatest fear: being alone. Their goodbye is raw and emotional, with Logan reminding her of the survival skills he's taught her and the importance of staying vigilant. Shiloh is left to navigate her new life, balancing the need for normalcy with the ever-present threat. She throws herself into routines—joining a gym, baking, and preparing for her final year of high school. The loneliness is palpable, but so is her resolve. The chapter ends with Shiloh meeting her neighbors, the Stone brothers, whose presence will soon become both a comfort and a complication.

Stone Brothers Next Door

New connections, old wounds

Shiloh's first encounters with the Stone brothers—Colt, Creed, Keelan, and Knox—are tinged with both attraction and anxiety. Their easy camaraderie and protective natures draw her in, but reminders of her lost twin and the scars she carries make her hesitant to trust. The brothers, each with their own personalities and burdens, become her first real friends in Arizona. Through shared meals, gym sessions, and late-night conversations, Shiloh begins to let her guard down. Yet, the specter of her trauma lingers, manifesting in nightmares and moments of panic. The Stone brothers' unwavering support becomes a lifeline, offering her a glimpse of hope and belonging.

First Day, New Scars

School, stigma, and survival

Shiloh's return to high school is fraught with anxiety. Her scars—physical and emotional—make her a target for gossip and bullying. Gym class, in particular, is a source of dread, as she fears exposing the marks left by her ordeal. Despite her efforts to blend in, she catches the attention of both students and teachers, including the popular but cruel Cassy and her clique. The Stone brothers, especially Colt and Creed, stand by her, offering friendship and protection. Through small victories and setbacks, Shiloh begins to reclaim her sense of self, learning to navigate the treacherous waters of teenage social hierarchies while holding onto her hard-won resilience.

Gym Class and Vulnerability

Exposing wounds, finding acceptance

A pivotal moment arrives when Shiloh, pressured by the heat and the Stone brothers' concern, reveals her scars during gym class. Instead of ridicule, she's met with empathy and understanding from Colt, Creed, and their friend Ethan. This act of vulnerability deepens her bond with the brothers and marks a turning point in her journey toward healing. The group's camaraderie grows, with friendly competitions and shared confidences replacing isolation. Yet, the threat of Mr. X and the cruelty of Cassy's clique remain ever-present, reminding Shiloh that safety is still an illusion. Still, the support of her new friends gives her the strength to keep moving forward.

Nightmares and New Friendships

Haunted nights, healing days

Shiloh's nightmares intensify, often waking Creed and drawing him to her side in the early hours. These shared moments of vulnerability foster a deeper connection, blurring the lines between friendship and something more. The Stone brothers' home becomes a sanctuary, a place where Shiloh can laugh, cook, and even sleep without fear. As she opens up about her past, the brothers share their own stories of loss, creating a bond forged in shared pain. Together, they navigate the challenges of school, family, and the ever-present threat of danger, finding solace in each other's company and the promise of brighter days ahead.

Finding Comfort in Chaos

Building trust, facing bullies

The school year progresses with a mix of triumphs and trials. Shiloh's friendship with the Stone brothers deepens, and she begins to form connections with other students, including the sweet and awkward Isabelle. Yet, Cassy and her clique escalate their campaign of harassment, targeting Shiloh with vandalism, rumors, and physical attacks. Despite these challenges, Shiloh stands her ground, drawing strength from her friends and her own hard-won resilience. The Stone brothers rally around her, confronting bullies and offering unwavering support. Through shared meals, movie nights, and late-night confessions, Shiloh finds a sense of family she thought she'd lost forever.

Schoolyard Battles and Bullies

Standing up, fighting back

A series of confrontations with Cassy, Amber, and their friends push Shiloh to her limits. When her locker is vandalized and her reputation attacked, she refuses to be cowed, confronting her tormentors with courage and wit. Physical altercations in the gym and locker room test her resolve, but Shiloh's training and determination see her through. The Stone brothers, particularly Creed and Colt, are quick to defend her, even at the cost of their own standing. These battles, both literal and figurative, force Shiloh to confront her fears and assert her right to exist, scars and all. In the process, she inspires those around her to stand up for themselves and each other.

Secrets, Suspicion, and Support

Revelations and the risk of trust

As Shiloh's relationships with the Stone brothers deepen, so does the risk of her secrets being exposed. Nightmares, panic attacks, and moments of vulnerability reveal cracks in her carefully constructed facade. The brothers, sensing her pain, push for answers, leading to tense confrontations and emotional breakthroughs. When Shiloh finally reveals her past—her family's murder, her time in witness protection, and the ongoing threat of Mr. X—the brothers respond with compassion and understanding. This act of trust cements their bond, transforming friendship into something deeper and more enduring. Together, they vow to protect each other, no matter the cost.

The Weight of the Past

Guilt, grief, and growth

Haunted by guilt over her family's death and the lives lost to Mr. X, Shiloh struggles to reconcile her desire for happiness with the burden of survival. Therapy, running, and teaching self-defense become outlets for her pain, but the scars—both visible and invisible—remain. The Stone brothers, each grappling with their own losses, offer empathy and perspective, helping Shiloh see that healing is a journey, not a destination. Through shared experiences and honest conversations, they learn to forgive themselves and each other, finding hope in the possibility of new beginnings. The past may never be forgotten, but it no longer defines them.

Breaking Points and Breakthroughs

Despair, confrontation, and confession

A series of escalating events—bullying, sabotage, and a near-fatal attack—push Shiloh to her breaking point. The Stone brothers, caught between their desire to protect her and their own fears, struggle to find the right balance. Tensions boil over in a dramatic confrontation, forcing Shiloh to confront her deepest fears and finally share the full truth of her past. The brothers' unwavering support and acceptance provide the foundation for a new sense of security and belonging. Together, they face the challenges ahead, stronger for having faced their demons and survived.

Trust, Truth, and Trauma

Choosing vulnerability, embracing love

With her secrets laid bare, Shiloh learns to trust not only the Stone brothers but herself. The boundaries between friendship and romance blur, leading to moments of passion, jealousy, and self-discovery. The brothers, each drawn to Shiloh in their own way, navigate the complexities of their feelings, ultimately choosing honesty and openness over competition and resentment. Through shared vulnerability and mutual support, they create a new kind of family—one built on trust, respect, and unconditional love. The journey is far from over, but together, they are ready to face whatever comes next.

Healing, Hope, and Heartbeats

Rebuilding, teaching, and dreaming

As Shiloh settles into her new life, she finds purpose in teaching self-defense, helping others reclaim their power. The Stone brothers support her every step of the way, encouraging her to pursue her passions and embrace her strengths. Together, they dream of a future free from fear, where scars are badges of survival, not shame. Through laughter, love, and shared experiences, they heal old wounds and create new memories. The threat of Mr. X remains, but for the first time, Shiloh believes in the possibility of happiness. The story ends with a sense of hope, as Shiloh and her chosen family look toward the future, ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead.

The Attack in the Parking Lot

Danger returns, but strength endures

Just as Shiloh begins to find peace, danger reemerges in the form of Jacob, a seemingly innocuous acquaintance who reveals himself as a predator. In a harrowing confrontation in the gym parking lot, Shiloh's training and resilience are put to the ultimate test. Despite being drugged and attacked, she fights back with everything she has, using the skills she's honed to incapacitate her assailant. As the world fades to black, she manages to call Creed, her final act a testament to her strength and determination. The story ends on a cliffhanger, with Shiloh's fate uncertain but her spirit unbroken, setting the stage for the next chapter in her journey.

Characters

Shiloh Pierce (McConnell)

Survivor haunted by trauma

Shiloh is the heart of the story—a young woman marked by tragedy, resilience, and a fierce will to survive. After witnessing her twin sister's murder and losing her family to a sadistic stalker, she's thrust into witness protection, forced to rebuild her life from the ashes. Shiloh's journey is one of healing and self-discovery, as she grapples with guilt, grief, and the ever-present threat of Mr. X. Her relationships with the Stone brothers become both a source of comfort and a catalyst for growth, challenging her to trust, love, and reclaim her agency. Shiloh's scars—both visible and invisible—are symbols of her strength, and her evolution from victim to survivor is both inspiring and deeply moving.

Colt Stone

Gentle protector and confidant

Colt is the softer of the Stone twins, offering Shiloh unwavering support and kindness. His empathy and patience make him a safe haven for Shiloh, and their bond is built on mutual respect and understanding. Colt's own experiences with loss—losing his parents and navigating the complexities of family—give him a unique perspective on Shiloh's pain. As their friendship deepens into something more, Colt's gentle nature and steadfast loyalty become a cornerstone of Shiloh's healing. He is the embodiment of quiet strength, always ready to listen, comfort, and defend those he loves.

Creed Stone

Brooding twin with a tender heart

Creed, Colt's twin, is initially guarded and blunt, his tough exterior masking a deep well of emotion. He struggles with his own grief and the pressure to live up to expectations, often expressing himself through sarcasm and intensity. Yet, beneath the surface, Creed is fiercely loyal and protective, especially of Shiloh. Their relationship is marked by moments of vulnerability and passion, as Creed learns to let down his walls and embrace his feelings. His journey mirrors Shiloh's in many ways, as both learn to trust, forgive, and find hope in the face of adversity.

Keelan Stone

Charismatic mentor and peacemaker

Keelan, the second oldest Stone brother, is the glue that holds the family together. His easy charm and sense of humor make him approachable, while his skills as a martial artist and instructor provide both guidance and protection. Keelan's role as a mentor extends to Shiloh, whom he helps train in self-defense and supports through her darkest moments. He is quick to mediate conflicts and offer a listening ear, embodying the qualities of a true friend and ally. Keelan's own struggles with jealousy and longing add depth to his character, making him both relatable and endearing.

Knox Stone

Stoic guardian with hidden depths

Knox, the eldest Stone brother, is a complex figure—stern, protective, and often emotionally distant. His sense of responsibility for his brothers and his own unresolved grief make him wary of outsiders, especially Shiloh. Yet, as the story unfolds, Knox's vulnerability and capacity for care become increasingly apparent. His relationship with Shiloh is fraught with tension, misunderstandings, and moments of unexpected tenderness. Knox's journey is one of learning to let go of control, trust others, and accept that love can be both a risk and a reward.

Logan

Tough love guardian and mentor

Logan, Shiloh's uncle and guardian, is a former Navy SEAL turned U.S. Marshal. His gruff exterior hides a deep well of love and concern for Shiloh, whom he trains in survival and self-defense. Logan's departure marks a turning point in Shiloh's journey, forcing her to confront her fears and embrace independence. His presence lingers throughout the story, a reminder of the importance of preparation, vigilance, and the enduring bonds of family.

Shayla McConnell

Lost twin, source of inspiration

Shayla, Shiloh's twin sister, is both a memory and a guiding force. Her vibrant personality, rebellious spirit, and unconditional love shape Shiloh's choices and serve as a touchstone in moments of doubt. Shayla's death is the catalyst for Shiloh's transformation, and her presence is felt in every act of bravery, every moment of joy, and every step toward healing.

Cassy

Antagonist fueled by jealousy

Cassy is the quintessential high school queen bee—beautiful, manipulative, and ruthless. Her campaign of harassment against Shiloh is driven by jealousy, insecurity, and a desire for control. Cassy's actions serve as a mirror for the cruelty and pettiness that can pervade adolescent social circles, but also as a foil for Shiloh's resilience and integrity. Her eventual downfall is a testament to the power of truth and the importance of standing up to bullies.

Amber

Cassy's enforcer, embodiment of cruelty

Amber, Cassy's right hand, is the muscle behind much of the bullying Shiloh endures. Her willingness to escalate from verbal taunts to physical violence makes her a formidable adversary. Amber's actions are motivated by a need for approval and a desire to assert dominance, but ultimately reveal the emptiness at the heart of her cruelty.

Mr. X

Shadowy predator, source of terror

Mr. X is the story's central antagonist—a former teacher turned stalker and murderer. His obsession with Shiloh drives the narrative, casting a long shadow over her life and fueling her fears. Mr. X's presence is felt in every moment of anxiety, every act of self-protection, and every nightmare. He is a symbol of the dangers that lurk in the world, but also of the strength required to survive and overcome.

Plot Devices

Trauma as a Living Shadow

Survival, memory, and the struggle for normalcy

The narrative is structured around Shiloh's ongoing battle with trauma—her nightmares, panic attacks, and hypervigilance are ever-present reminders of her past. Flashbacks and dream sequences are used to reveal key moments of her history, gradually peeling back the layers of her pain. The story employs foreshadowing through Shiloh's anxieties and the constant threat of Mr. X, creating a sense of tension and unease. The use of physical scars as both a literal and metaphorical device underscores the theme of survival, while the evolving relationships with the Stone brothers provide a counterpoint of hope and healing. The narrative balances moments of intense vulnerability with scenes of empowerment, illustrating the nonlinear nature of recovery.

Found Family and Polyamory

Redefining love, loyalty, and belonging

The Stone brothers serve as both a surrogate family and a source of romantic tension for Shiloh. The story explores the complexities of polyamorous relationships, challenging traditional notions of love and partnership. Through open communication, jealousy, and moments of conflict, the characters navigate the boundaries of friendship, romance, and family. The brothers' willingness to share, support, and protect Shiloh—and each other—highlights the importance of chosen family and the power of unconditional love. This dynamic is further complicated by the presence of external threats, forcing the characters to confront their fears and prioritize trust.

Bullying and Social Hierarchies

High school as a microcosm of cruelty and resilience

The school setting serves as a crucible for Shiloh's struggles, with Cassy and her clique embodying the darker aspects of adolescent social dynamics. The escalation from gossip to physical violence mirrors the broader themes of power, control, and survival. Shiloh's refusal to be cowed, and her eventual triumph over her bullies, serves as a testament to the strength of the human spirit. The narrative uses these conflicts to explore issues of identity, self-worth, and the importance of standing up for oneself and others.

Self-Defense and Empowerment

Reclaiming agency through action

Shiloh's training in self-defense is both a practical necessity and a metaphor for her journey toward empowerment. Teaching others, especially women who have experienced trauma, becomes a way for her to reclaim her agency and transform her pain into purpose. The story uses these moments to highlight the importance of preparation, resilience, and community in the face of danger.

Cliffhanger and Ongoing Threat

Unresolved danger, setting up the sequel

The story ends with a dramatic attack in the parking lot, leaving Shiloh's fate uncertain and the threat of Mr. X unresolved. This cliffhanger serves to maintain tension and anticipation, ensuring that the journey toward healing and justice is far from over. The unresolved nature of the central conflict underscores the reality that recovery is ongoing, and that the fight for safety and peace is never truly finished.

Analysis

Ashley N. Rostek's Find Me is a raw, unflinching exploration of trauma, survival, and the search for belonging. Through Shiloh's journey, the novel delves into the complexities of grief, guilt, and the long road to healing after unimaginable loss. The story's strength lies in its portrayal of vulnerability—not as weakness, but as the foundation for true connection and growth. The Stone brothers, each grappling with their own wounds, offer a vision of family that transcends blood, embracing the messiness and beauty of chosen bonds. The narrative's willingness to confront difficult topics—stalking, sexual violence, bullying—without flinching is both brave and necessary, offering readers a mirror for their own struggles and a roadmap for resilience. Ultimately, Find Me is a testament to the power of love, trust, and community in the face of darkness. It reminds us that healing is not a destination, but a journey—one best traveled together, with courage, compassion, and hope.

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Review Summary

4.31 out of 5
Average of 39.6K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.
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About the Author

Ashley N. Rostek is a writer who balances her family life with her passion for writing. She finds joy in reading romance novels and has an extensive collection. Ashley began writing at 17 and has since published her debut novel, "Embrace the Darkness," the first in the Maura Quinn series. She describes herself as a "lover of love" and enjoys various romance subgenres. Ashley engages with her readers through social media, sharing updates and sneak peeks of her upcoming projects. Her interests include coffee, collecting offensive mugs, and indulging in her love for books as an avid bibliophile.

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