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February

February

by Audrey Carlan 2015 129 pages
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Plot Summary

Arrival in the Loft

Mia enters a world of art

Mia Saunders, on her second month as a high-end escort, arrives in rainy Seattle for her next assignment. She's greeted by a silent, burly driver and whisked to a warehouse studio, where she's to be the muse for Alec Dubois, a renowned French artist. The studio is a whirlwind of creative chaos—nude models, splashes of paint, and the hum of cameras. Mia's first moments are awkward and clumsy, culminating in a painful fall that sprains her ankle and douses her in blue paint. Alec, striking and enigmatic, tends to her with gentle care, immediately blurring the lines between client and caretaker. The stage is set for a month of intimacy, vulnerability, and artistic exploration, as Mia is thrust into a world where her body and soul will become both subject and canvas.

The Artist's Muse

Alec's vision and Mia's doubts

Alec reveals his intention: Mia is to be his muse, inspiring a new series of paintings and photographs for his upcoming exhibition, "Love on Canvas." He's captivated by her symmetry and unique beauty, insisting she's perfect for his vision. Mia, still reeling from her injury and the strangeness of the environment, is both flattered and unsettled. Alec's intense focus and tactile nature unsettle her, but his charm and accent are disarming. As he explains the concept of the muse—someone who inspires not just art, but emotion—Mia begins to question her own self-worth and the role she's to play, not just in Alec's art, but in her own life.

Painted Vulnerabilities

Art exposes hidden pain

The creative process begins with Alec photographing Mia in various states of undress, capturing her rawest emotions. He asks her to channel sadness, longing, and hope, using her own life as fuel for the art. Memories of her comatose father, her fractured family, and her complicated feelings for Wes, her previous client, surface. Alec's art becomes a mirror, reflecting Mia's internal struggles. The sessions are emotionally taxing, forcing Mia to confront her insecurities and the pain she's tried to bury. Yet, through Alec's lens and brush, she glimpses a new perspective—one where her vulnerability is not a weakness, but a source of beauty and strength.

Love on Canvas

Intimacy and artistic collaboration

As days pass, the boundary between artist and muse dissolves. Alec and Mia's relationship deepens, moving from professional to profoundly personal. Their physical connection is electric, but Alec insists on "making love," not just sex—infusing every touch with meaning. Together, they create art that is both sensual and soulful, each session a dance of trust and surrender. Alec's paintings capture not just Mia's body, but her spirit—her sadness, her hope, her capacity for love. Through their collaboration, Mia begins to see herself through Alec's eyes: as someone worthy of admiration, desire, and affection.

Naked Truths Revealed

Confronting shame and self-worth

The process of being Alec's muse is as much psychological as physical. Mia struggles with the idea of being paid for intimacy, feeling the sting of being seen as a "whore" by the transactional nature of her work. When she learns that both Alec and Wes have paid her extra for sex, she's hurt and angry, questioning her own value and the authenticity of her relationships. Alec, ever the artist, reframes the experience: payment is for her time and her willingness to be vulnerable, not for her love. Through honest conversation and mutual comfort, Mia begins to reclaim her agency, understanding that her worth is not defined by money or men, but by her own choices.

The Art of Touch

Physical and emotional healing

The physicality of Alec and Mia's relationship becomes a form of therapy. Their lovemaking is passionate, creative, and healing—each encounter a reaffirmation of Mia's desirability and Alec's devotion. Alec's reverence for Mia's body, his poetic declarations in French, and his insistence on mutual pleasure help Mia rediscover joy in her own skin. The act of being painted, photographed, and adored becomes transformative, allowing Mia to shed layers of shame and embrace her sensuality. Their intimacy is not just about sex, but about connection, acceptance, and the healing power of touch.

Broken Love, Healing Hearts

Art as catharsis for pain

Alec's project evolves to include not just Mia, but another model, Aiden, in a series exploring "Broken Love." The staged intimacy with Aiden is uncomfortable for Mia, highlighting the difference between genuine connection and mere performance. Alec recognizes her discomfort and steps in as her partner, ensuring the art remains authentic. The resulting triptych—Aiden alone, Mia and Aiden disconnected, and Mia and Alec entwined—tells a story of longing, rejection, and true love found. Through this process, Mia confronts her own history of broken relationships and begins to heal, understanding that love can be both fleeting and profound.

Selfish Love, Selfless Acts

Self-pleasure and self-acceptance

One of Alec's final pieces requires Mia to pose in an act of self-pleasure, symbolizing "Selfish Love." Initially embarrassed, Mia comes to see the act as empowering—a declaration of self-love and autonomy. The experience is liberating, challenging societal taboos and her own internalized shame. Alec's encouragement and artistic eye help Mia embrace her desires without guilt. The resulting artwork is bold, unapologetic, and deeply personal, marking a turning point in Mia's journey toward self-acceptance and self-compassion.

Out Into the World

Exploring life beyond the studio

After weeks cloistered in the warehouse, Alec takes Mia out into Seattle. They visit the zoo, the Space Needle, and share moments of simple joy and wonder. These excursions offer Mia a taste of normalcy and freedom, reminding her of the world beyond art and obligation. Their connection deepens as they share stories, dreams, and laughter. Alec's vulnerability—his longing for monogamy, his envy of animals that mate for life—contrasts with Mia's independence and fear of attachment. Together, they find a balance between intimacy and autonomy, savoring the fleeting beauty of their time together.

The Final Exhibition

Art unveiled, emotions laid bare

The culmination of their month is Alec's exhibition, "Love on Canvas." The gallery is filled with paintings and photographs of Mia—her sadness, her hope, her pleasure, her love. Each piece tells a chapter of their journey, inviting viewers to witness the spectrum of human emotion. The centerpiece is a portrait of Mia at the Space Needle, radiant and free, titled "Goodbye, Love." The exhibition is a triumph, both artistically and personally. For Mia, it's a moment of validation and closure—a testament to her courage, her beauty, and her capacity to inspire.

Goodbye, Love

Parting with gratitude and grace

As the exhibition ends, so does Mia's time in Seattle. She chooses to leave quietly, slipping away before dawn and leaving Alec a heartfelt letter. In it, she thanks him for showing her the many forms of love, for helping her heal, and for teaching her to accept love freely. Their goodbye is bittersweet—filled with gratitude, but also the ache of parting. Alec's final gift is a card with photos of their time together, a tangible reminder of a month that changed them both. Mia boards her flight, carrying with her not just memories, but a renewed sense of self-worth and hope.

Lessons in Loving

Embracing love in all forms

Mia reflects on her journey, recognizing that love is not always forever, but it is always meaningful. Her time with Alec has taught her to embrace vulnerability, to accept love without fear, and to give love without expectation. She understands now that each relationship—no matter how brief—leaves an indelible mark, shaping who she is and who she will become. As she prepares for her next assignment, Mia carries forward the lessons of self-acceptance, honesty, and the courage to love, knowing that her story is still unfolding, one month at a time.

Characters

Mia Saunders

Resilient, searching, and vulnerable

Mia is a young woman driven by necessity and love for her family, especially her comatose father and younger sister Maddy. As an escort, she's pragmatic yet deeply sensitive, wrestling with issues of self-worth, shame, and the meaning of intimacy. Her journey in Seattle is as much about self-discovery as it is about survival. Mia's relationships—with Alec, Wes, and her family—reveal her longing for connection and her fear of being defined by her circumstances. Through art, vulnerability, and love, she learns to see herself as more than a sum of her traumas, embracing her own beauty, agency, and capacity for joy.

Alec Dubois

Passionate, artistic, and emotionally intense

Alec is a French artist whose life revolves around creation and inspiration. He is both commanding and tender, viewing the world—and Mia—through the lens of beauty and possibility. Alec's approach to love is poetic and all-consuming; he insists on depth, honesty, and mutual vulnerability. His own longing for monogamy and lasting connection is tempered by the transient nature of his relationships with his muses. Alec's art is his way of processing emotion, and through Mia, he finds both healing and heartbreak. His respect for Mia's boundaries and his willingness to adapt his vision for her comfort reveal a deep empathy beneath his artistic bravado.

Wes Channing

Supportive, conflicted, and caring

Wes is Mia's previous client and a lingering presence in her heart. Their relationship is marked by genuine affection, sexual chemistry, and the pain of separation. Wes's decision to pay Mia for their time together, though well-intentioned, triggers Mia's insecurities about her worth and the nature of their bond. Despite the transactional context, Wes's care for Mia is sincere, and their ongoing communication provides her with a sense of stability and hope for the future. Wes represents the possibility of lasting love, but also the reality of choices and consequences.

Aunt Millie (Ms. Milan)

Pragmatic, protective, and business-minded

Aunt Millie is both Mia's employer and surrogate mother, running the escort agency with a blend of tough love and practical wisdom. She provides Mia with opportunities, guidance, and a safety net, but also enforces the rules of the business. Millie's presence is a reminder of the realities Mia faces, balancing familial loyalty with the demands of survival. Her no-nonsense attitude and occasional humor ground Mia, offering both support and challenge.

Ginelle Harper

Loyal, spirited, and grounding

Ginelle is Mia's best friend and confidante, offering comic relief, encouragement, and a sounding board for Mia's doubts and dreams. Her unwavering support helps Mia navigate the emotional ups and downs of her journey, reminding her of her worth and the importance of friendship. Ginelle's presence, though mostly offstage, is a vital source of strength and perspective.

Maddy Saunders

Innocent, ambitious, and beloved

Maddy is Mia's younger sister, a symbol of hope and the future Mia is fighting for. Her academic pursuits and budding independence challenge Mia to let go and trust, even as she struggles with the urge to protect. Maddy's happiness and well-being are Mia's primary motivation, anchoring her choices and sacrifices. Their relationship is tender, honest, and occasionally fraught, reflecting the complexities of family love.

Aiden

Professional, respectful, and secondary muse

Aiden is a model hired to pose with Mia in Alec's "Broken Love" series. His presence highlights the difference between genuine connection and staged intimacy. Though attractive and kind, Aiden's role is primarily functional, serving as a foil to Alec and a catalyst for Mia's self-realization. His professionalism and empathy help ease Mia's discomfort during the more challenging shoots.

Blaine

Threatening, manipulative, and offstage antagonist

Blaine is the loan shark to whom Mia's father owes money, the shadowy force driving Mia's choices. Though he never appears directly, his influence looms large, representing the dangers and pressures Mia faces. Blaine's demands are a constant reminder of the stakes, fueling Mia's determination and anxiety.

Alec's Staff

Efficient, anonymous, and supportive

The various assistants, attendants, and models in Alec's studio create the backdrop for Mia's transformation. Their professionalism and occasional warmth help facilitate the creative process, while their presence underscores the public nature of Mia's vulnerability. They serve as both witnesses and facilitators, shaping the environment in which Mia and Alec's relationship unfolds.

Mia's Father

Absent, beloved, and motivating

Though comatose and offstage, Mia's father is the emotional anchor of her journey. His illness and debts are the catalyst for Mia's choices, and her love for him shapes her sense of duty, sacrifice, and hope. His presence is felt in Mia's memories, fears, and aspirations, reminding her of the importance of family and the power of love.

Plot Devices

Muse and Artist Dynamic

Art as a lens for intimacy and transformation

The central device is the relationship between muse and artist, which blurs the boundaries between subject and creator, professional and personal, body and soul. Alec's demand for vulnerability—emotional and physical—forces Mia to confront her own insecurities and desires. The process of being painted and photographed becomes a metaphor for self-exploration, healing, and acceptance. The art they create together is both a product and a process, capturing the evolution of their relationship and Mia's journey toward self-love.

Transactional Love and Self-Worth

Money as a double-edged sword

The tension between paid intimacy and genuine affection is a recurring motif. Mia's struggle with being compensated for sex and vulnerability raises questions about agency, value, and authenticity. The payments from Alec and Wes serve as both practical necessity and emotional trigger, forcing Mia to examine the meaning of love, work, and self-respect. The narrative uses these moments to explore the complexities of modern relationships, especially for women navigating power, desire, and survival.

Art as Catharsis and Mirror

Creative process as emotional journey

Alec's art is not just a backdrop, but a living, evolving force in the story. Each painting and photograph is a plot point, marking Mia's progress from shame to acceptance, from object to subject. The exhibition at the end serves as both climax and resolution, offering public validation and personal closure. The interplay of visual and emotional storytelling deepens the narrative, allowing readers to experience Mia's transformation viscerally.

Foreshadowing and Thematic Echoes

Repetition and reflection

The story uses recurring motifs—mirrors, symmetry, red paint, and the act of kissing the canvas—to foreshadow Mia's journey toward self-acceptance. The titles of the paintings ("No Love for Me," "Love Thyself," "Broken Love," "Selfish Love," "Goodbye, Love") echo the stages of Mia's emotional arc. The structure of the narrative, moving from isolation to connection, from shame to pride, mirrors the process of healing and growth.

Letters and Parting Gifts

Closure through words and images

The use of letters, cards, and photographs as parting gifts provides emotional resolution and tangible reminders of the journey. Mia's letter to Alec, and his card to her, encapsulate the lessons learned and the love shared, offering both characters—and readers—a sense of closure and continuity.

Analysis

"February: Calendar Girl" is a sensual, emotionally charged exploration of love, vulnerability, and self-acceptance, set against the backdrop of art and eroticism. Audrey Carlan uses the muse-artist relationship to probe deep questions about agency, worth, and the transformative power of intimacy. Mia's journey is both personal and universal: she grapples with shame, desire, and the fear of being defined by her circumstances, only to discover that love—whether fleeting or lasting—can be a source of healing and empowerment. The novel challenges conventional notions of transactional relationships, suggesting that authenticity and connection can flourish even within the confines of a contract. Through art, Mia learns to see herself anew, embracing her body, her emotions, and her right to pleasure. The story's modern relevance lies in its honest depiction of female sexuality, the complexities of consent, and the courage required to love and be loved. Ultimately, "February: Calendar Girl" is a celebration of self-discovery, reminding readers that every chapter of life—no matter how brief—can be a masterpiece in its own right.

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