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Elvis and Me

Elvis and Me

At 14, she met Elvis. He molded her into his ideal. Leaving took a decade.
by Priscilla Beaulieu Presley 1985 288 pages
4.01
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Summary in 30 Seconds
Elvis met Priscilla when she was 14 and he was 24, setting up a dependent, controlling bond. He dictated her hair, makeup, and wardrobe, molding her into his ideal. Physical intimacy followed his rules: no intercourse until marriage, then complete withdrawal after their daughter was born. Prescription drugs were a normalized household routine. She reclaimed herself through dance and martial arts, leading to an affair, divorce in 1973, and final separation before his fatal decline in 1977.
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Key Takeaways

1. An unconventional romance born in isolation

He taught me everything: how to dress, how to walk, how to apply makeup and wear my hair, how to behave, how to return love—his way.

A fateful meeting. In 1959, fourteen-year-old Priscilla Beaulieu met twenty-four-year-old Elvis Presley in Bad Nauheim, West Germany, where he was serving in the US Army. Isolated from her peers and struggling to adapt to military life abroad, Priscilla found solace in Elvis's magnetic presence. Elvis, deeply grieving the recent death of his beloved mother Gladys, was drawn to Priscilla's youth, innocence, and comforting, non-threatening nature.

The emotional anchor. Elvis quickly made Priscilla his emotional confidante, sharing his deepest vulnerabilities, fears about his career, and intense loneliness. He treated her with a mixture of paternal care and romantic interest, establishing a pattern of control and dependency from the very beginning. To maintain this connection, Elvis had to win over Priscilla's strict military father through polite deference and promises of honorable intentions.

Key relationship dynamics. The foundation of their relationship was built on several unique factors that shaped their future together:

  • A ten-year age gap that established an immediate power imbalance.
  • Elvis's intense grief over his mother Gladys, which Priscilla helped soothe.
  • Strict rules imposed by Priscilla's parents to ensure she was chaperoned.
  • The beginning of Elvis's lifelong habit of molding Priscilla into his ideal companion.

2. The Pygmalion effect and the creation of an ideal woman

I was Elvis’s doll, his own living doll, to fashion as he pleased.

Molding the ideal. When Priscilla visited Elvis in Los Angeles and Las Vegas in 1962, he immediately began transforming her physical appearance to match his specific tastes. He insisted she dye her brown hair jet black, wear heavy eye makeup, and adopt a highly sophisticated, mature wardrobe. Priscilla willingly submitted to this extreme makeover, eager to please the man who had become the center of her universe.

Strict aesthetic rules. Elvis's control extended beyond fashion to her posture, her walk, and even her dental care. He despised prints, the color brown, and anything he deemed "dull" or "unflattering," forcing her to constantly seek his approval before presenting herself. This intense scrutiny left Priscilla highly insecure, constantly worrying that any physical flaw would cause him to lose interest.

Elements of Elvis's aesthetic. Priscilla's transformation was defined by specific physical requirements that Elvis enforced:

  • Jet-black hair piled high in a teased beehive to match his own dyed hair.
  • Heavy black eyeliner and mascara to make her blue eyes stand out.
  • A wardrobe of solid colors like red, blue, turquoise, and black.
  • High collars to cover what he called her "long, skinny neck."

3. The double life of a schoolgirl and a superstar's companion

I was leading a double life—a schoolgirl by day, a femme fatale by night.

A grueling routine. After moving to Memphis to finish high school, Priscilla faced the immense challenge of balancing her education with Elvis's nocturnal lifestyle. She attended Immaculate Conception High School during the day, wearing a conservative uniform, only to transform into a glamorous, heavily made-up companion at night. This exhausting schedule left her chronically sleep-deprived, forcing her to rely on sheer willpower to keep up appearances for her parents and teachers.

Isolation and scrutiny. At school, Priscilla was treated as an outsider, with classmates whispering about her relationship with the world's biggest rock star. She was forbidden from having friends over to Graceland, and her movements were strictly monitored by Elvis's father, Vernon. To survive the academic pressure and late-night excursions to movie theaters and amusement parks, she began taking amphetamines provided by Elvis.

Challenges of her youth. Priscilla's daily existence was defined by a series of stressful compromises:

  • Failing grades and the constant threat of being sent back to Germany by her parents.
  • Using classmates to cheat on exams to ensure she graduated.
  • The constant surveillance of Vernon Presley, who managed her allowance and transportation.
  • The complete lack of a normal teenage social life or peer relationships.

4. The strict boundaries of physical intimacy and emotional dependency

No. Someday we will, Priscilla, but not now. You’re just too young.

Unconventional restraint. Throughout their years together before marriage, Elvis adamantly refused to consummate their relationship physically. Despite Priscilla's pleas and her deep desire to submit to him entirely, Elvis insisted on preserving her innocence until they were wed. He believed that saving the actual encounter kept their mutual desire alive and elevated their bond to something sacred.

Alternative intimacies. Instead of traditional intercourse, Elvis introduced Priscilla to alternative ways of pleasing him, turning their private hours into a realm of sexual fantasy. They acted out elaborate role-playing scenarios, often capturing these moments on Polaroid film. This highly controlled sexual dynamic reinforced Priscilla's emotional dependency, as she constantly strove to satisfy his complex desires while remaining "untouched."

The psychological impact. This unconventional arrangement had lasting effects on Priscilla's self-image and relationship:

  • Priscilla's frustration and confusion over Elvis's physical boundaries.
  • The creation of a Pygmalion-like bond where Elvis acted as both father and lover.
  • The constant threat of other women, such as his Hollywood costars, which fueled her jealousy.
  • The internalization of Elvis's traditional, double-standard views on female fidelity.

5. The destructive cycle of prescription drug dependency

Eventually Elvis’s consumption of pills seemed as normal to me as watching him eat a pound of bacon with his Spanish omelet.

The chemical escape. Elvis's reliance on prescription drugs began during his Army days and escalated as he struggled with insomnia, career frustrations, and the pressures of fame. He consumed vast quantities of sleeping pills, such as Placidyl and Seconal, to sleep, and amphetamines, like Dexedrine, to wake up and maintain his energy. Priscilla was quickly drawn into this cycle, taking "helpers" to match his erratic schedule and cope with her own anxieties.

A dangerous normalcy. Because Elvis possessed an extensive knowledge of pharmaceuticals and referred to pills by their medical names, Priscilla believed they were safe. This delusion was shattered early on when she overdosed on Placidyl at Graceland, sleeping heavily for two straight days. Despite this terrifying incident, the use of prescription drugs remained a deeply ingrained, unquestioned aspect of daily life at Graceland.

The impact of drug use. The pervasive presence of pharmaceuticals altered the dynamics of their household:

  • Severe mood swings and explosive temper tantrums directed at Priscilla and the entourage.
  • Chronic grogginess that required hours of recovery each afternoon.
  • The enabling behavior of the "Memphis Mafia," who facilitated his access to medication.
  • The eventual physical decline that bloated his body and affected his live performances.

6. The spiritual quest as an escape from Hollywood's hollow success

We have to control our desires so they don’t control us.

Searching for meaning. Disillusioned by the formulaic, low-quality movies he was forced to make, Elvis embarked on an intense spiritual quest in the mid-1960s. Guided by his new hair stylist, Larry Geller, Elvis devoured books on metaphysics, occultism, and Eastern philosophies. He sought to understand why he had been chosen for such immense fame and how he could use his influence to serve a higher purpose.

The spiritual strain. Elvis expected Priscilla to join him in this quest, forcing her to read dense philosophical texts and attend lectures. This period was marked by Elvis's attempt to practice celibacy and self-control, which further distanced him from Priscilla physically. The entourage grew highly suspicious of Geller's influence, fearing it was alienating Elvis from his career and his friends.

Key spiritual influences. Elvis's search for enlightenment was characterized by specific practices and beliefs:

  • The teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda and the Self-Realization Fellowship.
  • The metaphysical writings of Kahlil Gibran, Hermann Hesse, and Joseph Benner.
  • A period of physical and sexual withdrawal to master worldly desires.
  • The eventual intervention of Colonel Parker, who forced Elvis to abandon his spiritual books.

7. The transition to marriage and the reality of the Circle G Ranch

"We’re going to be married," Elvis said. "You’re going to be his. I told you I’d know when the time was right. Well, the time’s right."

The Las Vegas wedding. On May 1, 1967, Elvis and Priscilla were married in a brief, highly secretive ceremony at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas. Orchestrated by Colonel Parker to avoid a media circus, the event was bittersweet, as many close friends were excluded due to space constraints. For Priscilla, the marriage represented a long-awaited validation, freeing her from the scandalous labels of the past.

Playing house. Following the wedding, the newlyweds retreated to the Circle G Ranch in Mississippi, where they lived in a mobile home. Priscilla relished this brief period of domestic normalcy, cooking, cleaning, and caring for Elvis without the constant intrusion of maids and housekeepers. However, Elvis's tendency for excess quickly turned the ranch into an expensive hobby, as he bought horses and trucks for the entire entourage.

The financial reality. The ranch experiment highlighted Elvis's reckless spending habits and financial vulnerability:

  • A $500,000 purchase that forced Vernon to put up Graceland as collateral.
  • The acquisition of eighteen horses and mobile homes for the entire "Memphis Mafia."
  • Vernon's constant anxiety over Elvis's reckless spending during a career decline.
  • The eventual sale of the ranch as the financial burden became unsustainable.

8. The psychological barrier of motherhood and sexual withdrawal

He had mentioned before we were married that he had never been able to make love to a woman who’d had a child.

The joy of parenthood. Exactly nine months after their wedding, on February 1, 1968, Priscilla gave birth to their daughter, Lisa Marie. Elvis was an ecstatic and doting father, marvelling at the perfection of his newborn daughter. However, the transition to motherhood marked a devastating turning point in Priscilla's physical relationship with her husband.

The Madonna-Whore complex. Deeply influenced by his intense relationship with his own mother, Gladys, Elvis developed a psychological block that prevented him from desiring Priscilla sexually after she became a mother. He placed her on a pedestal of maternal respect, which effectively extinguished his physical passion for her. Despite Priscilla's efforts to seduce him, months passed without any physical intimacy, leaving her deeply insecure about her femininity.

The marital divide. The birth of their daughter created an emotional and physical chasm between the couple:

  • Priscilla's growing sense of isolation and doubt regarding her own sexuality.
  • Elvis's continued absences on tour and his involvement with other women.
  • The pressure to maintain a perfect, glamorous appearance while feeling emotionally neglected.
  • The realization that their marriage had become a part-time arrangement.

9. Personal awakening and the pursuit of individual identity

It’s not that you’ve lost me to another man, you’ve lost me to a life of my own.

Finding her voice. As Elvis spent more time touring and living in Las Vegas, Priscilla began to step out of his shadow and seek her own identity. She enrolled in dance and karate classes, finding a sense of accomplishment and self-worth that had been denied to her in her sheltered life at Graceland. These physical disciplines allowed her to release her suppressed frustrations and gain confidence.

The ultimate betrayal. Through her involvement in the martial arts, Priscilla met karate champion Mike Stone, with whom she eventually began a passionate affair. This relationship validated her as a woman and made her realize how unnatural and controlling her life with Elvis had been. She no longer wanted to be the passive, obedient doll Elvis had created; she wanted a real life of her own.

Steps toward independence. Priscilla's journey toward self-actualization was marked by several key milestones:

  • Enrolling in private jazz, ballet, and Tae Kwan Do classes.
  • Gaining physical and mental strength through rigorous martial arts training.
  • Developing a social circle entirely separate from Elvis and the "Memphis Mafia."
  • The painful realization that she had to leave Elvis to survive as an individual.

10. A tragic end to a deep and enduring bond

When Elvis Presley died, a little of our own lives was taken from each of us who knew and loved Elvis Presley, who shared in his music, his films, who followed his career.

The painful separation. In 1972, Priscilla made the agonizing decision to leave Elvis, leading to their divorce in 1973. Despite the separation, they remained deeply connected, sharing custody of Lisa Marie and speaking frequently on the phone. They maintained a unique bond of mutual respect and affection, often admitting their past mistakes and laughing at their shortcomings.

The final decline. Over the next few years, Priscilla watched from a distance as Elvis's health rapidly deteriorated due to his heavy drug dependency and grueling tour schedule. He became increasingly bloated, paranoid, and erratic, yet he refused to listen to those who tried to help him. On August 16, 1977, Elvis died of heart failure at Graceland, leaving Priscilla and the world in deep shock and grief.

An enduring legacy. The end of Elvis's life marked the conclusion of a complex, deeply influential relationship:

  • A divorce finalized in 1973 where Elvis and Priscilla held hands in the judge's chambers.
  • The shared grief of Vernon, Grandma, and Lisa Marie following Elvis's sudden death.
  • Priscilla's realization that Elvis was a victim of his own fame and the enabling people around him.
  • The lasting influence Elvis maintained over Priscilla's life, shaping her from adolescence to adulthood.

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Review Summary

4.01 out of 5
Average of 33k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Elvis and Me receives mixed reviews, with readers divided on Priscilla's portrayal of her relationship with Elvis. Many praise the intimate details and insider perspective, while others criticize the lack of critical reflection on the age gap and power dynamics. The audiobook narrated by Priscilla herself is highly recommended. Readers appreciate the honest portrayal of Elvis's flaws but are disturbed by the grooming aspects. The book is seen as a valuable historical document, offering unique insights into Elvis's life and personality.

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About the Author

Priscilla Beaulieu Presley is an American businesswoman and actress, best known as the ex-wife of Elvis Presley. Born in 1945, she met Elvis at 14 while he was serving in the military in Germany. They married in 1967 and had one daughter, Lisa Marie, before divorcing in 1973. After Elvis's death, Priscilla became the executor of his estate and co-founded Elvis Presley Enterprises. She has also pursued acting, appearing in "The Naked Gun" film series and TV shows. Priscilla has written multiple books about her life with Elvis and continues to be involved in preserving and promoting his legacy.

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