Discipling

1. Discipling is the "we-life" of Christianity: helping others follow Jesus.

The lives of these people, in other words, should be dedicated to helping others follow Jesus.

Beyond individualism. In an increasingly individualistic world, Christianity calls believers to a "we-life" dedicated to mutual growth and support. This stands in stark contrast to modern trends of disengagement and self-focus, emphasizing that following Christ inherently means participating in a community. The core definition of discipling is "helping others to follow Jesus" or "deliberately doing spiritual good to someone so that he or she will be more like Christ."

Discipleship vs. Discipling. It's crucial to distinguish between our personal "discipleship" (our own following Christ) and "discipling" (the act of helping someone else follow Christ). There are no true Christians who are not disciples of Jesus, meaning they have entered a personal, saving relationship with Him, denying themselves and taking up their cross. This foundational commitment to Christ then naturally extends to helping others embark on the same journey.

Love and obedience. The motivation for discipling stems from both love and obedience. God's radical love for us in Christ compels us to love Him in return, which is demonstrated by loving our neighbors. Furthermore, Jesus's final command—the Great Commission—explicitly instructs all believers to "go and make disciples of all nations," making discipling a fundamental act of obedience for every Christian, not just a select few.

2. True discipling is an others-oriented, self-giving work powered by God.

The discipling life is an others-oriented life.

Selfless orientation. Discipling demands an others-oriented life, mirroring Christ's example of coming not to be served, but to serve. It means consciously strategizing how to bless others in daily decisions, rather than merely looking out for personal convenience. This selfless love for others is the very heart of discipling, driving believers to labor for the spiritual good of those around them.

Biblical pattern. The Bible consistently illustrates this pattern, from parents diligently teaching God's Word to their children (Deut. 6:6-7) to mentors like Moses with Joshua, Eli with Samuel, and Elijah with Elisha. Jesus himself exemplified this by investing deeply in a small group of disciples, wanting them to "be with him." The Apostle Paul continued this legacy, pouring into Timothy with multigenerational ambitions, aiming for spiritual great-grandchildren.

Toil and struggle. Paul's ministry, as described in Colossians 1:28-29, involved "toiling, struggling with all his energy" to "proclaim" and "present everyone mature in Christ." This highlights that spiritual power is found not in ecstasy, but in strenuous, self-giving service for others, often involving agony. This work, however, is not self-reliant; it is God's powerful work within us that counters pride and fear, ensuring that all spiritual fruit redounds to His praise.

3. The work of discipling involves initiating, teaching, correcting, modeling, and mutual love.

Discipling is initiating a relationship in which you teach, correct, model, and love.

Intentional initiation. Discipling is an active, not passive, endeavor that requires initiating relationships. This means discerning not just who needs help, but who is teachable and willing to receive it. In gospel-centered discipling, transparency is key; leaders should be willing to confess their own weaknesses and sins, demonstrating that justification comes from Christ, not self-perfection.

Comprehensive engagement. The work of discipling extends beyond formal settings, encompassing evangelism for non-Christians and ongoing spiritual growth for believers within the church. It involves:

• Teaching: Communicating God's Word through conversations, Bible studies, and good Christian books.
• Correcting: Warning about unbiblical choices and helping others see their blind spots, often privately, but sometimes corporately through church discipline.
• Modeling: Living out the Christian life transparently, inviting others to imitate one's trust in Christ, much like an apprenticeship.

Mutual growth and humility. Discipling is also a form of mutual love, where the relationship often goes both ways, with the discipler also being served and encouraged. This process demands profound humility, as it involves risk, potential rejection, and the willingness to operate through weakness rather than just strength. It's about one "beggar pointing another beggar to bread," trusting God to use our frailty to display His power.

4. The local church is the primary and natural environment for discipling.

Yet the Bible teaches that the local church is the natural environment for discipling.

Beyond parachurch. While parachurch ministries play a valuable role, the local church is divinely designed as the primary context for discipling. It's where Christians are called to live out the "we-life" of the gospel, displaying Christ's love to the world. Replacing the church with other ministries for discipling, when a healthy church is available, misses God's intended design for spiritual growth and accountability.

Corporate discipling. The church disciples through its regular gatherings, where members are exhorted to "stir up one another to love and good works" (Heb. 10:24-25). It also provides essential accountability through the ordinances of baptism and the Lord's Supper, which formally recognize and affirm who belongs to the body of Christ. This structure ensures that discipling relationships are grounded in a shared commitment to Christ and His truth.

Pastors and members. Within this framework, pastors play a crucial role by teaching God's Word, leading in the ordinances, and providing an exemplary model of godliness. Simultaneously, the congregation is responsible for receiving and supporting their pastors, and for holding them accountable to God's Word. Members are also responsible for one another, fostering a "culture of discipling" where each person uses their gifts to build up the body, making spiritual growth the norm.

5. Choose wisely whom to disciple, prioritizing family and church members.

You only have so much time in the week. You cannot disciple the whole church. How do you decide in whom to invest? You have to choose.

Strategic investment. Given limited time, choosing whom to disciple requires prayerful wisdom and intentionality. While God's providence can place unexpected people in our path, a strategic approach ensures that our efforts are focused where they can yield the most spiritual fruit. This involves considering several factors to maximize impact.

Key considerations:

• Family members: The Bible emphasizes a special responsibility for one's household (1 Tim. 5:8), making these the most important discipling charge.
• Spiritual state: Discipling is for Christians; evangelize non-Christians first, as they cannot spiritually discern until converted (1 Cor. 2:14).
• Church membership: Discipling works best within one's local church, where shared elders, doctrine, and accountability provide a robust context (Heb. 13:7, 17).
• Gender and age: Scripture encourages men to disciple men and older women to train younger women (Titus 2:3-5), while also valuing intergenerational learning.
• Diversity: Intentionally discipling those different from oneself (ethnically, economically, etc.) powerfully displays the gospel's unifying power (Eph. 2:18, Rev. 7:9-10).
• Teachability: Invest in those who welcome counsel and instruction, as God gives grace to the humble (Ps. 25:9, 1 Pet. 5:5).
• Multiplication potential: Prioritize those who are "faithful men who will be able to teach others also" (2 Tim. 2:2), aiming for multigenerational impact.
• Proximity and schedules: Practically, align with those whose schedules and locations make consistent interaction feasible (Gal. 6:10).

Prayerful discernment. Ultimately, the decision involves prayer, asking for wisdom, and then acting. It's not about feeling guilty for not discipling everyone, but about faithfully investing in those God places in our lives, trusting the body of Christ to care for the rest.

6. Have clear aims: help people understand truth and live it out practically.

No matter who you disciple, you want to help them better follow Jesus by growing in the knowledge of God and by learning to put that knowledge into practice—to understand better and to live better.

Understanding truth. Discipling aims to deepen a person's understanding of God's Word and the Christian faith. This isn't just about accumulating facts, but about knowing why Christians believe and act as they do. The "life➔truth➔life" pattern suggests that a transformed life attracts others, leading to teaching that fosters further transformation. The Word of God must be central, helping people "hold fast to the word of life" (Phil. 2:16) through reading, studying, and discussing.

Living out truth. Beyond intellectual understanding, discipling seeks to transform lives, helping people to "live better" by imitating Christ. This involves more than just reading books; it's about living out godliness before others, inviting them into one's life, and being transparent about struggles and triumphs. Paul's example with Timothy (2 Tim. 3:10-11) shows a comprehensive immersion in a mentor's life, observing teaching, conduct, faith, and endurance through suffering.

Personalized approach. Effective discipling is highly personalized, adapting to the specific interests, backgrounds, sin patterns, hurts, and hopes of the individual. Asking open-ended questions is crucial for building trust and understanding, allowing conversations to delve into deeper, more personal matters and explore the gospel's implications in those areas. The goal is to walk alongside others, making friends and guiding them Christward, so they can accurately understand God's ways and live holy lives.

7. Discipling requires significant investment: time, study, prayer, and sacrificial love.

The cost is time, study, prayer, and love.

The gift of time. Discipling, whether formal or informal, demands a deliberate investment of time. This means intentionally carving out opportunities for interaction, from brief conversations after church to regular meals or shared errands. Transparency and honesty during these times are vital, as examples of enduring hardship often prove more powerful than stories of success, revealing what our hearts truly trust in.

Diligent study. To feed faith with the Word, discipling requires diligent study. This involves engaging with expositional sermons, using the Bible as the primary text, and incorporating good Christian books that point back to Scripture. Loving God with our minds means desiring to know Him as He has revealed Himself, and helping others to do the same, ensuring that the basics of Christian faith are clearly understood.

Persistent prayer. Supernatural changes in a person's life come through God's power, making prayer an indispensable component of discipling. Believers should pray ceaselessly for those they disciple and teach them how to pray effectively, drawing from Scripture and applying it to all areas of life—friendships, ministry, finances, purity, and evangelism. This cultivates a dependence on God for the transformation sought.

Sacrificial love. Love is the foundational motive and sustaining force in discipling. It initiates the relationship, compelling us to deny ourselves and serve others, even risking rejection. Love perseveres through challenges, humbly receives criticism, and generously gives of itself, valuing the other person above personal reputation or convenience. Ultimately, love also allows us to humbly release those we disciple when circumstances change, trusting God to continue His work through others.

8. Cultivate future leaders by shepherding toward biblical qualifications and delegating opportunities.

What all eight of these previous practices require is a culture of humility.

Biblical qualifications. Raising up leaders begins by shepherding men toward the biblical qualifications for elders (1 Tim. 3:1-7, Titus 1:6-9). These virtues, though not extraordinary, represent an ordinary Christian life lived extraordinarily well, serving as a model for the entire flock. Beyond these, look for natural leadership gifts and a genuine aspiration to serve the church, recognizing that God uses both character and gifting.

Intentional cultivation. Leaders must adopt a posture of actively looking for "blokes worth watching," being profoundly opportunistic in identifying potential leaders. This involves spending personal time with younger men, drawing them into one's work and life, and building relationships that allow for close observation and mentorship. Such investment is crucial for preparing the next generation of church leaders.

Empowerment through delegation. A key practice is to advance trust by delegating responsibility and opportunities to lead. This means giving men chances to teach, pray publicly, or lead in various ministries, even if it means being willing to "lose votes" or arguments. Cultivating respect for these emerging leaders and providing honest, tender feedback—both criticism and encouragement—is essential for their growth, fostering a culture where leaders are developed, not just identified.

9. Godly authority involves both exercising and generously giving away power.

In a single sentence, what Mark does unusually well, and what I would commend to you no matter your vocation or role in a church, is to combine these two things: exercising authority and giving away authority.

Authority as service. Godly authority, exemplified by Christ, is not about lording power over others but about serving them. It means taking initiative, making decisions, and ensuring tasks are completed, but always from a posture of humility, seeking God's ends rather than one's own. This paradox of exercising authority while simultaneously giving it away is central to effective discipling and leadership.

Exporting opportunity. Leaders should strive to be "exporters of opportunity," continually equipping and empowering more people for ministry. This can manifest in various ways:

• Building the church on the gospel, which grounds relationships in service.
• Establishing a plurality of elders, including non-staff, to flatten hierarchy.
• Limiting one's own preaching time to allow other voices to grow.
• Creating numerous teaching opportunities and giving young teachers grace to make mistakes.
• Delegating responsibilities, being willing to lose votes, and cultivating respect for other leaders.
• Being slow to speak in meetings, not always chairing, and letting others lead difficult issues.
• Being devoted to a few core tasks while giving freedom elsewhere, "outing" other natural leaders.
• Avoiding micromanagement, inviting criticism, and being quick to forgive.
• Rejoicing in the victories of others, fostering a spirit of collaboration over competition.

Shaping church culture. This generous approach to authority shapes a church culture that keeps the gospel uppermost, promotes real relationships, avoids tribalism, encourages resource sharing, destroys social hierarchies, cultivates trust, fosters teachability, promotes forgiveness, encourages training, and maintains an outward focus. It reflects God's own joy in sharing His rule with humanity, making the sharing of rule the very heart of discipling.