Plot Summary
Childhood Faith and Longing
Bethany Joy Lenz's earliest memories are steeped in evangelical Christianity and a longing for belonging. Raised by loving but struggling parents, she is shaped by faith, frequent moves, and the ache of loneliness. Her family's instability and her parents' eventual divorce leave her craving connection and stability. The church and her relationship with God become her anchor, but also a source of confusion and self-doubt. Early experiences with performance—singing, acting, and writing—offer her a sense of purpose and a glimpse of community, but the seeds of insecurity and a desperate need to be seen are sown. These formative years set the stage for her vulnerability to high-demand groups and her later entanglement with a spiritual "family" that promises everything she's ever wanted.
Finding Belonging in Performance
Joy's adolescence is marked by a deepening love for acting and music, which provide both escape from family chaos and a sense of identity. Community theater and early professional gigs in New York City give her a taste of belonging and validation. Yet, even as her career blossoms, she remains emotionally adrift, seeking approval from friends, mentors, and especially from a boy she calls "Blue Eyes." The tension between her creative ambitions and her need for acceptance grows. When her parents' marriage finally dissolves, Joy's sense of rootlessness intensifies, and she clings to performance and faith as her twin lifelines. The stage becomes both a refuge and a rehearsal for the roles she will later play in real life—daughter, friend, believer, and, eventually, cult member.
The Magnetic Bible Study
After moving to Los Angeles, Joy is introduced to a small, artist-centric Bible study led by the Van Hewitt brothers. The group is warm, intimate, and emotionally intense—full of hugs, vulnerability, and spiritual language. Here, Joy finds the acceptance and familial closeness she's always craved. The group's rituals—singing, sharing, praying—create a powerful sense of belonging. The arrival of Les, a charismatic pastor with a troubled past, marks a turning point. He brings new energy, deeper teachings, and a subtle shift in authority. The group's focus on "spiritual parenting" and "covenant family" blurs the lines between friendship, faith, and control. Joy, hungry for love and guidance, is drawn ever deeper into the group's orbit, unaware of the dangers ahead.
Les Arrives: New Leadership
Les's entry into the group is both comforting and unsettling. He offers wisdom, affirmation, and a sense of purpose, but also begins to assert control—redefining boundaries, discouraging outside relationships, and introducing new doctrines. His teachings on identity, spiritual authority, and "Jezebel spirits" create an atmosphere of suspicion and dependence. The group's language becomes insular, and dissent is subtly discouraged. Joy, desperate for approval and healing, internalizes Les's messages, even as her own instincts occasionally rebel. The group's structure shifts from organic friendship to hierarchical family, with Les and his wife Marti at the top. The emotional highs are intoxicating, but the seeds of manipulation and isolation are sown.
Boundaries and Spiritual Authority
As Les's influence grows, the group's teachings become more rigid. Members are encouraged to surrender autonomy, seek guidance for even trivial decisions, and view Les and other leaders as spiritual authorities. The concept of "bio-family" versus "spiritual family" is introduced, deepening members' dependence on the group and eroding outside relationships. Joy's own boundaries blur as she seeks to please both Les and her husband-to-be, QB. The pressure to conform, obey, and suppress doubt intensifies. Emotional vulnerability is celebrated, but only within the group's framework. Any questioning is labeled as rebellion or spiritual attack. Joy's sense of self erodes, replaced by a performance of submission and faithfulness that mirrors her childhood coping mechanisms.
Family or Cult?
The group's insularity deepens. Outside friends and family are increasingly viewed as threats or sources of "Jezebel" influence. Holidays and milestones are celebrated only within the group, and members are discouraged from maintaining close ties with their biological families. The language of "covenant" and "unity" becomes a tool for enforcing conformity and suppressing dissent. Joy's career successes are reframed as spiritual tests, and her ambitions are subtly undermined. Financial entanglements—investments in a motel and restaurant—bind members even more tightly. The group's dysfunctions—anger, abuse, financial mismanagement—are rationalized as spiritual warfare or opportunities for growth. Joy's identity is subsumed by the group, and her ability to trust her own perceptions fades.
Love, Sacrifice, and Surrender
Joy's personal life becomes a battleground for the group's teachings. Her longing for romantic love is reframed as idolatry, and she is encouraged to surrender her desires for the sake of spiritual growth. Her eventual marriage to QB, Les's son, is less a love match than a test of obedience and faith. The wedding is orchestrated by the group, and Joy's doubts and lack of attraction are dismissed as spiritual immaturity. The promise that "feelings will follow obedience" proves hollow, and the marriage quickly becomes a source of pain and control. Joy's creative ambitions are further suppressed, and her financial independence erodes as she turns over her resources to the group's ventures. The cost of belonging becomes ever more apparent.
The Idaho "God Spa"
The group's move to Idaho marks a new phase of isolation and control. The "Big House" becomes both sanctuary and prison—a place of intense emotional bonding, spiritual rituals, and increasing surveillance. Members are encouraged to confess, submit, and participate in "basement meetings" where their flaws are dissected and their loyalty tested. Financial schemes—first the motel, then the restaurant—drain members' resources and deepen their dependence on Les and the leadership. Joy's sense of agency dwindles as she is caught between her failing marriage, her longing for creative fulfillment, and the group's ever-tightening grip. The promise of healing and family is increasingly revealed as a mechanism for control and exploitation.
The Jezebel Doctrine
Les's teachings on "Jezebel spirits" and rebellion become central to the group's ideology. Members are taught to view doubt, independence, and outside relationships as evidence of spiritual attack. Women, in particular, are targeted—encouraged to submit, suppress their voices, and accept male authority. Emotional abuse is reframed as spiritual discipline, and dissent is pathologized. The group's language becomes a tool for gaslighting and self-policing. Joy's own struggles—with her marriage, her ambitions, and her sense of self—are interpreted as spiritual failures. The doctrine of "unity" is weaponized to enforce conformity and silence questioning. The group's dysfunctions—anger, violence, financial chaos—are spiritualized, making escape ever more difficult.
The Cost of Obedience
The group's financial schemes unravel, leaving members—especially Joy—devastated. Investments in the motel and restaurant are lost, and Joy discovers that millions of dollars have been siphoned from her accounts. Her marriage collapses under the weight of control, abuse, and emotional deprivation. Attempts to seek help or assert boundaries are met with hostility and further isolation. The promise of family and healing is revealed as a façade for exploitation and manipulation. Joy's creative dreams are sacrificed, her relationships outside the group are severed, and her sense of self is nearly destroyed. The cost of obedience is total: financial, emotional, and spiritual devastation.
Marriage, Control, and Collapse
Joy's marriage to QB becomes increasingly abusive—emotionally, spiritually, and at times physically. The group's teachings justify and enable his control, and Joy's attempts to assert herself are met with threats and gaslighting. The birth of her daughter, Rosie, becomes a turning point. Witnessing the impact of the group's dysfunction on her child, Joy begins to awaken to the reality of her situation. The support of a few friends, the intervention of her parents, and her own growing sense of outrage propel her toward escape. The process is agonizing—marked by fear, guilt, and the threat of losing her child—but ultimately, Joy chooses freedom over obedience.
The Motel and Restaurant Scheme
The group's ventures into the motel and restaurant business serve as both a literal and metaphorical trap. Members are pressured to invest, work for little or no pay, and surrender financial control to Les and his inner circle. Mismanagement, theft, and deception are rampant, but dissent is suppressed through spiritual language and emotional manipulation. The collapse of these ventures exposes the group's true priorities and the extent of the exploitation. Joy's discovery of the missing millions is both a shock and a catalyst for action. The unraveling of trust—within the group and within herself—marks the beginning of the end.
Fame, Isolation, and Doubt
Even as Joy achieves professional success on One Tree Hill, she is increasingly isolated—both by the group's teachings and by the suspicions of those around her. Rumors of cult involvement spread, and her relationships with cast and crew suffer. The group's insularity and paranoia deepen, and Joy's own doubts begin to surface. Encounters with former friends, the birth of her daughter, and the collapse of her marriage force her to confront the reality of her situation. The longing for truth, authenticity, and real connection becomes overwhelming. The cost of belonging is no longer bearable.
Breaking Point and Escape
The final unraveling is marked by confrontation, loss, and the slow rebuilding of self. Joy's decision to leave the group and her marriage is met with hostility, legal battles, and the threat of losing her child. The support of her parents, friends, and a growing sense of self-worth enable her to fight for custody and begin the process of healing. The aftermath is messy—financial ruin, emotional scars, and the challenge of rebuilding trust. But the act of escape, of choosing herself and her daughter, marks the beginning of a new chapter. The journey from obedience to autonomy is hard-won and ongoing.
Aftermath: Healing and Reckoning
In the years following her escape, Joy confronts the full impact of her experience—financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Legal battles, therapy, and the support of loved ones help her reclaim her life and her sense of self. She connects with other survivors, shares her story, and begins to understand the dynamics of cults and abuse. The process of healing is nonlinear, marked by setbacks and revelations. Joy's relationship with faith is transformed—no longer a tool for control, but a source of comfort and authenticity. The lessons of the past become the foundation for a new, more honest life.
Lessons from the Shipwreck
Reflecting on her journey, Joy distills the lessons learned from her years in the cult. She recognizes the universal human longing for belonging, the dangers of high-demand groups, and the subtle ways manipulation can masquerade as love. She warns of the red flags—insularity, suppression of doubt, financial entanglement, and the demonization of outsiders. But she also affirms the possibility of healing, the power of truth, and the importance of reclaiming one's voice. Her story is both a cautionary tale and a testament to resilience. In the end, Joy finds hope—not in perfection or certainty, but in the messy, beautiful work of being fully human.
Analysis
"Dinner for Vampires" is a raw, unflinching memoir that exposes the subtle, insidious ways high-control groups can masquerade as loving families, especially within the context of faith and creative ambition. Bethany Joy Lenz's story is a cautionary tale about the universal human longing for belonging, the dangers of charismatic leadership, and the psychological mechanisms that enable manipulation and abuse. The book's power lies in its honesty—its willingness to confront not only the external abuses but also the internal dynamics of self-doubt, complicity, and the slow erosion of self. Lenz's journey from obedience to autonomy, from submission to self-assertion, is both painful and inspiring. The narrative warns of the red flags: insularity, suppression of doubt, financial entanglement, and the demonization of outsiders. But it also affirms the possibility of healing, the necessity of truth, and the importance of reclaiming one's voice. In a culture hungry for connection and meaning, "Dinner for Vampires" is both a warning and a beacon—a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the messy, beautiful work of becoming fully, authentically oneself.
Review Summary
Dinner for Vampires is a compelling memoir by Bethany Joy Lenz, detailing her experience in a cult while starring on One Tree Hill. Readers praise Lenz's raw honesty, engaging writing style, and the audiobook narration. The book offers insights into manipulation, faith, and resilience. While some found it tedious or preachy, many appreciated its eye-opening account of cult dynamics. Fans of One Tree Hill may be surprised by the limited show content, as the focus is primarily on Lenz's spiritual journey and cult experience.
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Characters
Bethany Joy Lenz
Joy is the heart of the narrative—a sensitive, creative soul shaped by childhood instability, faith, and a longing for belonging. Her journey from aspiring actress to cult member to survivor is marked by vulnerability, resilience, and a deep hunger for love and acceptance. Psychoanalytically, Joy's early experiences of abandonment and her need to please make her susceptible to manipulation and high-control groups. Her development is a painful but ultimately empowering arc—from self-doubt and submission to self-awareness and autonomy. Her relationships—with family, friends, romantic partners, and spiritual leaders—mirror her internal struggles. In the end, Joy's willingness to confront the truth, reclaim her voice, and fight for her daughter becomes her greatest act of courage.
Les
Les is the group's leader—a former pastor with a magnetic presence and a talent for spiritual language. He offers wisdom, affirmation, and a sense of family, but beneath the surface is controlling, exploitative, and emotionally abusive. Les's psychoanalytic profile is classic narcissist: he demands loyalty, suppresses dissent, and reframes his own failings as spiritual warfare. His teachings on authority, Jezebel spirits, and covenant family are tools for control. Les's relationship with Joy is both paternal and predatory—he fills the void left by her absent father but ultimately exploits her trust and resources. His downfall is marked by exposure, loss of followers, and the collapse of his schemes.
Pam
Pam is Les's counterpart—a nurturing, affectionate presence who offers comfort and validation. She becomes a surrogate mother to Joy and other group members, reinforcing the group's insularity and emotional intensity. Pam's psychoanalytic role is that of the "good mother" who turns punitive when her authority is challenged. She enables Les's control, rationalizes abuse, and participates in the group's financial and emotional exploitation. Her relationship with Joy is complex—both loving and suffocating, supportive and manipulative. Pam's development mirrors the group's trajectory: from warmth and inclusion to suspicion and exclusion.
QB
QB is Les's son and Joy's eventual husband—a quiet, compliant figure shaped by years of indoctrination and emotional deprivation. His relationship with Joy is marked by control, jealousy, and emotional abuse, justified by the group's teachings on male authority and female submission. Psychoanalytically, QB is both victim and perpetrator—unable to assert his own identity, he enacts the group's dysfunctions on Joy. His development is stunted by dependence on Les and the group, and his inability to break free contributes to the collapse of his marriage and the group itself.
Mina
Mina is Joy's close friend and fellow actress—an early convert to the group who becomes entangled in its teachings and relationships. Her longing for love and spiritual fulfillment makes her vulnerable to manipulation, and her eventual marriage to Harker is orchestrated by Les. Mina's struggles with mental health, identity, and autonomy mirror Joy's own journey. Her eventual break from the group, alongside Harker, marks a turning point and offers a model of courage and self-assertion.
Harker
Harker is one of the Van Hewitt brothers—a thoughtful, introspective figure who initially embraces the group but later begins to question its teachings and authority. His intellectual curiosity and willingness to challenge Les's doctrines make him a threat to the group's unity. Harker's journey—from loyal member to dissenter to exile—serves as a catalyst for others, including Joy, to begin questioning and ultimately breaking free. His relationship with Mina is a rare example of genuine partnership and mutual support within the narrative.
Emily
Emily is a vibrant, supportive presence in Joy's life—a fellow group member who shares her struggles with family, faith, and belonging. Initially a true believer, Emily's loyalty is tested by the group's dysfunctions and abuses. Her eventual support for Joy during her escape and legal battles is crucial. Emily's development reflects the tension between loyalty to the group and the imperative to protect oneself and others from harm.
Jasmine
Jasmine is another key member—intelligent, driven, and deeply wounded by past trauma. Her relationship with Dontay and her struggles with the group's teachings on gender and authority highlight the group's impact on women. Jasmine's eventual disillusionment and departure from the group underscore the limits of endurance and the necessity of self-preservation.
Danielle
Danielle enters the group as an outsider, drawn by the promise of community and spiritual growth. Her practical skills and emotional intelligence make her both valuable and threatening to the leadership. Danielle's eventual recognition of the group's dysfunction and her role in helping Joy escape are pivotal. She represents the possibility of recovery and the importance of solidarity among survivors.
Kurt
Kurt is a member of the leadership "Hamoatzah"—aggressive, controlling, and abusive. His role is to enforce conformity, suppress dissent, and model the group's teachings on male authority. Kurt's violence, both emotional and physical, is enabled by the group's structure and rationalized as spiritual discipline. His presence is a constant threat, especially to women and children. Kurt's eventual exposure and the testimonies against him are key to the group's unraveling.
Plot Devices
Spiritual Language as Control
The narrative is structured around the gradual transformation of spiritual language—from a source of comfort and connection to a tool for control and manipulation. Teachings on "spiritual authority," "Jezebel spirits," "covenant family," and "unity" are used to suppress doubt, enforce conformity, and isolate members from outside influences. The group's rituals—hugs, confessions, crafted prayers, basement meetings—create emotional highs that reinforce dependence. The language of love and healing is weaponized to justify abuse and exploitation. This device is central to the group's power and to Joy's internal struggle.
Isolation and Insularity
The group's gradual isolation—from friends, family, and even other churches—is both a narrative and psychological device. Holidays, milestones, and crises are celebrated only within the group, and outside relationships are reframed as threats or sources of spiritual attack. The concept of "bio-family" versus "spiritual family" is used to sever ties and deepen dependence. This insularity is both comforting and suffocating, creating a closed system where dissent is impossible and reality is defined by the group.
Financial Entanglement
The group's ventures into the motel and restaurant business serve as both literal and metaphorical traps. Members are pressured to invest, work for little or no pay, and surrender financial control to the leadership. Financial mismanagement, theft, and deception are rampant, but dissent is suppressed through spiritual language and emotional manipulation. The collapse of these ventures exposes the group's true priorities and the extent of the exploitation. Financial entanglement is both a plot device and a psychological weapon.
Confession and Public Humiliation
The group's "basement meetings"—public confessions, emotional breakdowns, and group interventions—are used to enforce conformity, suppress dissent, and reinforce dependence. These rituals create emotional highs and lows, bonding members through shared vulnerability but also deepening shame and self-doubt. The line between healing and humiliation is blurred, and the meetings become a tool for gaslighting and control.
Foreshadowing and Retrospective Clarity
The narrative is structured with foreshadowing—early hints of abuse, manipulation, and financial exploitation that are only fully understood in retrospect. Joy's initial discomfort, the group's subtle shifts, and the red flags in relationships are all seeds that blossom into crisis. The use of journals, flashbacks, and later testimonies provides retrospective clarity, allowing both Joy and the reader to piece together the true nature of the group and its leaders.
FAQ
What is Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show by Bethany Joy Lenz about?
- Personal memoir and cult experience: The book is a candid memoir by Bethany Joy Lenz, chronicling her journey from childhood through her acting career and a decade-long involvement in a high-control, Bible-based cult.
- Intertwined professional and spiritual life: Lenz details how her time on One Tree Hill overlapped with her experiences in the cult, exploring the tension between her public persona and private struggles.
- Themes of faith, identity, and healing: The narrative delves into issues of faith, family, manipulation, and the search for authentic selfhood and community.
- Insight into cult mechanisms: Lenz reveals how the group operated under the guise of a spiritual family, using control, obedience, and isolation as tools of manipulation.
Why should I read Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show by Bethany Joy Lenz?
- Unique insider perspective: The memoir offers a rare look into the intersection of Hollywood life and the hidden world of high-control religious groups.
- Inspiration and resilience: Readers can draw inspiration from Lenz’s journey of self-discovery, boundary-setting, and reclaiming autonomy after years of emotional and financial abuse.
- Critical examination of faith: The book encourages readers to reflect on how spiritual beliefs can be used for both healing and control, making it relevant for anyone interested in faith communities.
- Relatable universal themes: Issues like family dysfunction, identity struggles, and the longing for genuine connection make the story resonate beyond its specific context.
What are the key takeaways from Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show by Bethany Joy Lenz?
- Importance of boundaries: Lenz emphasizes the necessity of setting and enforcing personal boundaries, especially in relationships marked by control or abuse.
- Spiritual discernment: The memoir highlights the need for discernment in spiritual communities, warning against manipulation disguised as faith.
- Power of chosen community: True community should nurture and support, not dominate or isolate; Lenz finds healing in a supportive chosen family.
- Reclaiming identity and autonomy: Breaking free from imposed roles—whether in family, faith, or career—is crucial for personal growth and freedom.
How does Bethany Joy Lenz define a cult in Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show?
- Not about outward signs: Lenz explains that cults don’t always have obvious rituals or dress codes; her group appeared normal and Bible-based.
- Safety means agreement: The defining trait is that anyone who disagrees or questions the group is deemed “unsafe,” making conformity essential.
- Us-versus-them mentality: Cults create a narrative dividing the world into “us” (the group) and “them” (outsiders or dissenters), suppressing independent thought.
- Suppression of questioning: Doubt and dissent are discouraged, with questioning labeled as dangerous or “illegal.”
What control methods and tactics does Bethany Joy Lenz describe in Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show?
- Spiritual family meetings: The group held frequent, intense meetings where members were corrected and prayed over, fostering dependency and shame.
- Financial and personal control: Leadership managed members’ finances through a company called TRIAD, controlling money, investments, and personal decisions.
- Isolation from outsiders: The cult discouraged relationships with non-members, labeling outsiders as unsafe and demanding absolute loyalty.
- Manipulation through spiritual language: Terms like “spiritual parents” and “covenant Family” were used to justify control and discourage dissent.
How did Bethany Joy Lenz’s acting career on One Tree Hill intersect with her cult experience?
- Dual life tension: Lenz’s rising fame contrasted with the cult’s restrictive environment, creating internal conflict between her ambitions and group expectations.
- Career sacrifices: The cult discouraged her from pursuing major opportunities, framing career success as spiritually dangerous and leading her to turn down roles.
- Social isolation in Hollywood: Suspicion of outsiders extended to her castmates and crew, straining relationships and affecting her reputation.
- Support and control: While the group sometimes supported her career, it also exerted control over her professional choices and identity.
What were the key turning points that led Bethany Joy Lenz to leave the cult, according to Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show?
- Financial betrayal discovery: Lenz learned that over two million dollars of her earnings had been siphoned off by the cult’s financial managers.
- Support from family and friends: Reconnecting with her biological family and friends outside the cult provided strength and perspective.
- Legal battles and custody fight: A painful custody battle for her daughter exposed the cult’s manipulations and reinforced her resolve to escape.
- Gradual realization: The slow process of recognizing the group’s harmful dynamics and prioritizing her and her daughter’s safety was crucial.
How does Bethany Joy Lenz describe the emotional and psychological impacts of cult involvement in Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show?
- Emotional numbness and shame: Lenz experienced cycles of shame, self-blame, and emotional exhaustion from constant correction and control.
- Conflicted faith and identity: She struggled with feelings of betrayal by God and church, while still longing for spiritual connection and healing.
- Long-term trauma: The memoir details her journey through trauma, including isolation, loss of autonomy, and the slow process of recovery.
- Difficulty trusting others: Manipulation and betrayal within the group complicated her ability to trust and seek help.
What role did the financial management company TRIAD play in the cult’s operations, as described by Bethany Joy Lenz?
- Centralized financial control: TRIAD managed members’ finances, including Lenz’s earnings and group investments, consolidating power in leadership.
- Financial exploitation: The company mismanaged funds, stole money, and pressured members into investments that benefited leadership.
- Lack of transparency: TRIAD’s operations were opaque, with members discouraged from questioning financial decisions.
- Catalyst for leaving: Discovering the extent of financial betrayal was a major factor in Lenz’s decision to leave.
How did cult involvement affect Bethany Joy Lenz’s personal relationships and marriage in Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show?
- Arranged and controlled relationships: Romantic relationships, including her marriage to Les’s son QB, were heavily influenced or arranged by cult leadership.
- Abuse and control in marriage: Lenz’s marriage involved emotional abuse, controlling behavior, and strict enforcement of cult rules.
- Isolation from support: The group encouraged breaking away from biological family and discouraged outside relationships.
- Complex support and betrayal: While some members were supportive, others participated in manipulation, complicating trust and recovery.
What advice and insights does Bethany Joy Lenz offer for recognizing and escaping cults in Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show?
- Question absolute loyalty: Groups demanding unquestioning obedience and labeling dissenters as unsafe are red flags for cult behavior.
- Beware of isolation tactics: Cults often isolate members from family and friends, controlling information and relationships.
- Seek external support: Reconnecting with people outside the group is crucial for gaining perspective and breaking free.
- Set and enforce boundaries: Lenz emphasizes the importance of boundary-setting and personal empowerment in the healing process.
What are the most memorable quotes from Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show by Bethany Joy Lenz, and what do they mean?
- “Love does not dominate, it cultivates.” —Goethe: This quote contrasts nurturing love with the controlling love Lenz experienced in the cult.
- “You’re letting yourself ask too many illegal questions.” —Les: Captures the cult’s suppression of doubt and independent thought.
- “No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away and what’s left? Me.” —Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Reflects Lenz’s journey toward self-reliance and empowerment after losing toxic relationships.
- “This is a covenant Family.”: Used to justify control and loyalty, equating the group to a sacred, unbreakable bond.
- “If someone wants to label you against the loving truth of who you are, you are empowered to make the declaration ‘I don’t receive that.’” —Les: Encourages reclaiming identity and rejecting harmful labels.
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