Franchisee's Gambit

Dan, a former Marine turned Backrooms shopkeeper, faces mounting pressure from the Flayed Monarch's forces. With his store besieged and customers dwindling, he's gifted a "Kiosk Franchise Opportunity" artifact—a chance to expand his reach via the deadly mall kiosks. Despite warnings from his mimic companion Croc, Dan confronts the unknown, summoning his taxidermied horrors for backup. The artifact promises power but at a steep cost, and Dan's decision to use it sets him on a collision course with the Backrooms' most dangerous denizens. The chapter pulses with tension, dark humor, and the sense that Dan is a pawn in a cosmic game, forced to gamble everything for survival.

Kiosk Crab Carnage

Dan's attempt to claim a kiosk erupts into chaos when the kiosk transforms into Keke the Kiosk Crab, a level 28 apex predator. The ensuing fight is brutal and inventive—Dan's summoned horrors, Croc's mimicry, and Dan's arsenal of magical relics are pitted against the crab's overwhelming strength and its horde of juvenile crabs. The battle is a test of resourcefulness and teamwork, with Dan exploiting the crab's vulnerabilities and ultimately slaying it in a gory, hard-fought victory. The aftermath is both triumphant and sobering, as Dan realizes the true cost of power in the Backrooms and the moral compromises survival demands.

Networked Schemes

With the crab defeated, Dan claims the kiosk and discovers its true potential: a vast, interconnected auction house and storage system, but one that siphons most profits to the mysterious Franchisor on the 99th floor. The network is both opportunity and trap, offering new ways to trade and connect with other Delvers, but at a punishing cost. Dan's entrepreneurial spirit is tempered by the realization that he's now entangled in a larger, more dangerous web—one that could make him a target for powers far beyond his current understanding. The chapter brims with the thrill of discovery and the anxiety of new, unseen threats.

Furry Alliances

Dan's allies return with Wraith, the bull-headed furry leader of Howlers Hold. The meeting is tense but hopeful, as Wraith offers an alliance against the Skinless Court. The Howlers, a community of furries stranded since the 1990s, are both quirky and formidable, their settlement a testament to survival and adaptation. Negotiations are complicated by internal politics, old grudges, and the need to bribe the pragmatic Tribune Ajax. Dan's growing network of allies is a double-edged sword—he needs their strength, but trust is hard-won and easily lost in the Backrooms' treacherous landscape.

Howlers' Hold

Dan is escorted through Howlers Hold, a post-apocalyptic furry enclave built from shipping containers and hope. The sight of children—born in the Backrooms, never having seen the real sky—hits Dan hard, reframing his struggle as not just personal survival but a fight for something larger. The Howlers' resilience and their willingness to risk everything for a better future inspire Dan, but also burden him with new responsibility. The emotional weight of community, loss, and the possibility of redemption suffuses the chapter, deepening Dan's resolve to challenge the Monarch's tyranny.

The Price of Trust

To secure the Howlers' alliance, Dan must fulfill Ajax's demands: protection, discounts, and, most bizarrely, access to a legendary laundromat. The negotiation is laced with humor and tension, as Dan navigates the fine line between pragmatism and principle. The quest for the laundromat is more than a fetch quest—it's a test of Dan's willingness to compromise, to get his hands dirty, and to accept the weirdness of his new reality. The chapter explores the cost of trust, the necessity of alliances, and the ever-present risk of betrayal in a world where everyone has an angle.

Runic Innovations

Dan delves into the mechanics of his new Runic Resonance Trap relic, discovering the power—and danger—of inscribing spells onto objects. Through painful trial and error, he creates a versatile arsenal of magical grenades and healing tools, pushing the boundaries of what's possible in the Backrooms. The process is both exhilarating and harrowing, as Dan sacrifices trash-tier relics to upgrade his abilities and nearly loses a thumb in the process. The chapter captures the thrill of invention, the satisfaction of mastery, and the ever-present risk of catastrophic failure.

Hotel Hell Descent

Dan, Croc, and Jakob descend to the fifth floor—Hotel Hell—a labyrinth of luxury and lurking horrors. The trio battles mimics, bellhops, and the tragic Lodgers, collecting loot and clues while searching for the sacred laundromat. The hotel's opulence is a thin veneer over existential dread, as every room hides a potential deathtrap or a glimpse of what happens to those who fail to escape. The chapter is a tense, atmospheric journey through paranoia, violence, and the relentless grind of survival.

Lodger's Lair

In a deluxe suite, Dan faces a Lodger whose psychic assault nearly kills him, exposing his vulnerability to mind-based attacks. Only Croc's intervention saves him, forcing Dan to confront the limits of his power and the need to shore up his weaknesses. The encounter is a humbling reminder that in the Backrooms, no one is invincible, and that every victory comes with new scars—physical, mental, and moral. The emotional aftermath is raw, as Dan grapples with fear, gratitude, and the weight of responsibility for his friends.

Upgrades and Revelations

After a hard-won victory, Dan claims the hotel suite, showers for the first time in months, and sorts through a trove of new relics. He forges powerful new abilities, including the devastating Existential Dread spell, and upgrades his minions with parts scavenged from the hotel's horrors. A heart-to-heart with Jakob reveals the Cendral's past, his lost love for Temperance, and his scientific quest for answers. The chapter is a mix of relief, camaraderie, and the sobering realization that every gain in power comes with new ethical dilemmas and deeper mysteries.

The Sacred Laundromat

Guided by clues and Croc's warnings, Dan and his team discover the legendary laundromat—guarded by a cult of Laundry Brownies who mistake Dan for their prophesied savior. To win their loyalty, Dan must defeat the Profane Corrupter, a monstrous shart-stain golem. The battle is grotesque and hilarious, pushing Dan's ingenuity and stomach to the limit. With victory comes not just clean clothes, but a new workforce of zealous Brownies, eager to serve their "Deliverer." The chapter is a wild blend of absurdity, horror, and the unexpected rewards of embracing the Backrooms' madness.

Profane Cleansing

The fight against the shart-stain golem and its gaseous assassins is a test of endurance, teamwork, and Dan's ability to adapt under pressure. Poisoned, battered, and nearly overwhelmed, Dan and his friends prevail through grit, clever use of relics, and a willingness to get their hands dirty—literally. The aftermath is both triumphant and sobering, as Dan reflects on the cost of victory, the trauma of what he's endured, and the strange comfort of having a cult of Brownies to do his laundry. The chapter is a cathartic release of tension, humor, and hard-earned relief.

Suburban Nightmares

The quest for the next kiosk leads Dan's party to the 24th floor—a sprawling, sun-drenched suburbia that is anything but safe. The illusion of normalcy is shattered by encounters with eerily perfect children, mind-bending radio broadcasts, and the ever-present threat of the HOA. The floor's rules are inscrutable, its residents both mundane and monstrous, and every act of defiance risks triggering the wrath of the community. The chapter is a slow-burn descent into paranoia, as the line between reality and illusion blurs and the true horror of conformity is revealed.

Sunnyside's Illusions

The party navigates the rules of Sunnyside, serving ice cream to demon children and dodging the watchful eyes of the HOA. A cookout turns deadly when Dan's graffiti breaks the rules, unleashing the Lawnmower Men and their monstrous kin. The battle is brutal, with the party forced to adapt to enemies immune to physical and psychic attacks. The illusion of suburbia is stripped away, revealing a world of flesh, hair, and teeth. The chapter is a fever dream of violence, dark humor, and the existential terror of being consumed by the system.

The HOA Awakens

The party's efforts to disrupt the HOA's control culminate in a desperate alliance with Ed, a Delver-turned-vampire, and a plan to destroy the Nexus Pulse at the heart of the community radio station. The battle escalates as the HOA reveals its true form—a three-story kaiju made of houses and corpses, broadcasting psychic control over the entire floor. Dan and Croc lead a madcap chase in a taxidermied ice cream truck, weaponizing Kannibal Kids and magical artillery in a last-ditch effort to weaken the titan. The chapter is a crescendo of chaos, sacrifice, and the high cost of rebellion.

Kannibal Kids' Feast

Dan's plan to lure the HOA into the cornfields succeeds, as the Moon-Cursed Kannibal Kids swarm the titan, tearing it apart in a frenzy of violence. The battle is a spectacle of gore and ingenuity, with Dan deploying doppelganger decoys, magical explosives, and the full might of his upgraded minions. The cost is high—Croc is nearly killed, the ice cream truck is destroyed, and Dan is pushed to the brink of exhaustion. The chapter is a cathartic, horrifying release, as the old order is devoured by the very children it sought to control.

Preschool of Horrors

To reach the radio station, the party must traverse the Tiny Tots Preschool—a mimic hatchery filled with swarmlings, traps, and the monstrous Mr. Wiggles. The journey is a gauntlet of violence and ingenuity, as Dan's upgraded relics and minions are pushed to their limits. The battle against the swarmlings is a massacre, earning Dan the dubious title of Toddler Terminator. The escape from Mr. Wiggles is a desperate, harrowing flight, culminating in the use of a doorway anchor to seal the monster away. The chapter is a testament to the party's resilience, resourcefulness, and the trauma of surviving the Backrooms' worst nightmares.

Kaiju Showdown

With the disruptor in place, Dan and his allies face the HOA kaiju in a climactic showdown. Dan fuses his minions into a FleshTron mech, chugs a YOLO potion, and goes toe-to-toe with the titan in a battle of attrition, cunning, and raw power. The fight is brutal, inventive, and deeply personal, as Dan channels every lesson, every scar, and every ounce of will to bring down the monster. The victory is hard-won, leaving Dan unconscious, his body and mind battered, but the HOA finally dead and the path forward open.

Aftermath and Ascension

Dan awakens in his store, surrounded by friends and the spoils of victory. The party levels up, claims powerful new relics, and forges deeper bonds of trust and loyalty. Ed, freed from the HOA's grip, finds peace and a new home. Croc evolves, gaining new powers and a sense of belonging. Dan reflects on the cost of survival, the meaning of community, and the responsibilities of leadership. The chapter ends with a sense of hard-earned hope, as Dan prepares to descend even deeper into the Backrooms, armed with new power, new allies, and the determination to challenge the Monarch's reign.

Characters

Dan Woodridge

Dan is a former Marine and contractor who has become the unlikely proprietor of Discount Dan's Backroom Bargains, a magical shop in the Backrooms. Driven by a fierce will to survive and protect those around him, Dan is both pragmatic and deeply moral, constantly wrestling with the compromises and horrors the Backrooms demand. His ingenuity and willingness to experiment with relics and magic set him apart, but he is haunted by trauma, guilt, and the fear of becoming a monster himself. Dan's relationships—with Croc, his human employees, and his growing circle of allies—anchor him, giving him purpose beyond mere survival. Over the course of the story, Dan evolves from a desperate newcomer to a community leader, willing to risk everything for a chance at freedom and justice.

Croc

Croc is a mimic—a shape-shifting, flesh-eating creature—who has become Dan's closest friend and confidant. Childlike, earnest, and obsessed with Twilight, Croc provides both comic relief and emotional grounding. Despite a history of being feared and rejected, Croc is fiercely loyal, brave, and eager to help, even when terrified. Croc's evolution into a True-Transmorphic Mimic marks a turning point, granting new powers and a deeper sense of belonging. Croc's relationship with Dan is the emotional heart of the story, embodying themes of acceptance, found family, and the redemptive power of friendship.

Jakob

Jakob is a Cendral—a dragon-descended Transmog—who serves as Dan's moral compass and scientific advisor. Haunted by past trauma, lost love, and the betrayal of his community, Jakob is driven by a relentless quest for answers about the Backrooms and a cure for its many afflictions. His pacifism is both a strength and a vulnerability, forcing the party to confront the ethical limits of violence and survival. Jakob's deep bond with Temperance and his willingness to risk everything for knowledge and justice make him a complex, sympathetic figure, torn between hope and despair.

Temperance

Temperance is a centuries-old Delver, exiled from her community for violence and now a key member of Dan's party. Wild, unpredictable, and deeply scarred by betrayal, Temperance channels her pain into a relentless drive for strength and recognition. Her faith in the Roomkeepers and her complicated relationship with Jakob add layers of depth and vulnerability. Temperance's love of violence is both a coping mechanism and a source of tension, forcing the party to grapple with the costs of survival and the meaning of redemption.

Ed Myrl

Ed is a long-stranded Delver on the 24th floor, transformed by the HOA's influence into a half-mimic, half-human outcast. Paranoid, resourceful, and haunted by loss, Ed is both a warning and a guide for Dan. His struggle to retain his identity, his willingness to help despite deep mistrust, and his ultimate sacrifice in taking down the HOA make him a tragic, memorable figure. Ed's relationship with his parrot Woodstock and his yearning for connection highlight the story's themes of loneliness, trust, and the high cost of survival.

Wraith

Wraith is the bull-headed, level-headed leader of Howlers Hold, a furry settlement on the seventh floor. Charismatic, strategic, and deeply committed to his community, Wraith is both a potential friend and a formidable adversary. His willingness to risk everything for an alliance with Dan marks him as a rare figure of hope and integrity in the Backrooms. Wraith's struggles with internal politics, family betrayal, and the burden of leadership mirror Dan's own journey, forging a bond of mutual respect and shared purpose.

Ajax

Ajax is the self-serving, flamboyant quartermaster of Howlers Hold, whose support is essential for Dan's alliance. Witty, manipulative, and always looking for an angle, Ajax embodies the moral ambiguity of the Backrooms. His demands—protection, discounts, and laundry services—force Dan to confront the compromises required for survival. Despite his flaws, Ajax is a shrewd judge of character and a valuable ally, providing both comic relief and a reminder that in the Backrooms, everyone has a price.

Princess Ponypuff

Ponypuff is a Cannon Fodder Golem crafted from discarded toys and powered by a mind-shielding relic. Fiercely loyal to Dan but utterly lacking in social skills, Ponypuff is both a terrifying enforcer and a source of dark humor. Her obsession with haggling, her devotion to a mysterious dark god, and her unpredictable violence make her both a liability and an asset. Ponypuff's interactions with customers and other golems highlight the absurdity and danger of life in the Backrooms.

Camo Joe

Camo Joe is a newly crafted Cannon Fodder Golem, designed to run store security with military precision. Smarter and more competent than his predecessors, Joe is a reflection of Dan's growing understanding of the Backrooms' creative potential. His methodical approach, loyalty, and ability to adapt make him an invaluable asset, but his emergent intelligence raises questions about the nature of life, purpose, and the unintended consequences of power.

The HOA

The HOA is the monstrous embodiment of suburban oppression, psychic control, and the soul-crushing power of conformity. Both a literal kaiju and a metaphor for the dangers of unchecked authority, the HOA is a formidable antagonist, wielding mind control, regeneration, and an army of enthralled minions. Its defeat is both a physical and symbolic victory, marking the end of one tyranny and the beginning of a new, uncertain freedom.

Plot Devices

The Kiosk Network

The Kiosk Network is a sprawling system of magical kiosks, offering storage, trade, and rapid transit between floors. It is both a lifeline and a snare, siphoning profits to the mysterious Franchisor and entangling Dan in a web of cosmic politics. The network's potential for power, connection, and danger drives much of the plot, serving as both a goal and a source of escalating conflict.

Relics and Upgrades

The Backrooms' magic system is built around relics—modular, upgradable items that grant spells, abilities, and passive effects. Dan's willingness to experiment, combine, and sacrifice relics is a key driver of his growth and survival. The system rewards ingenuity but punishes recklessness, with every upgrade carrying the risk of catastrophic failure or unintended consequences. The forging of emblems—powerful combinations of relics—serves as a long-term narrative goal, symbolizing mastery and the hope of eventual escape.

Mind Control and Illusion

The Backrooms are rife with floors and enemies that manipulate perception, memory, and willpower. From the SporeFeed Social Filter to the psychic attacks of Lodgers and the HOA's signal, the threat of losing one's mind is ever-present. The narrative uses these devices to explore themes of autonomy, conformity, and the fragility of identity, forcing characters to confront not just physical threats but the erosion of self.

Community and Found Family

The formation of Discount Dan's community—employees, allies, and even cultist Brownies—serves as both a source of strength and vulnerability. The need for trust, the pain of betrayal, and the sacrifices required for collective survival are recurring motifs. The story uses community as both a shield against the Backrooms' horrors and a crucible for personal growth, with every alliance tested by the world's relentless dangers.

Escalating Threats and Boss Battles

The plot is structured around a series of increasingly difficult challenges—each floor, each boss, each alliance raising the stakes. Foreshadowing is used to build tension, with hints of deeper dangers (the Franchisor, the Monarch, the Bleeding Moon) woven throughout. The narrative structure mirrors a video game's progression, with each victory opening new doors and revealing new, more formidable threats.

Analysis

Cul-de-sac Carnage is a riotous, inventive, and deeply human exploration of survival, community, and the cost of power in a world where the rules are always changing. At its core, the novel is about adaptation—how ordinary people, thrust into extraordinary circumstances, must reinvent themselves, forge unlikely alliances, and confront the darkness within and without. The Backrooms serve as both setting and metaphor: a labyrinth of trauma, bureaucracy, and existential dread, where every victory is temporary and every compromise leaves a mark. The story's humor, horror, and heart are inseparable, with Dan's journey from desperate survivor to reluctant leader mirroring the reader's own struggle to find meaning in chaos. The novel interrogates the allure and danger of systems—whether magical, bureaucratic, or communal—asking what we're willing to sacrifice for safety, power, or belonging. Ultimately, Cul-de-sac Carnage is a celebration of resilience, friendship, and the messy, imperfect hope that even in the darkest places, we can build something worth fighting for.

Last updated: October 31, 2025