Be a People Person

1. Live the Golden Rule in Relationships

Therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you.

Put yourself in their shoes. The core of relating well is applying the Golden Rule. Decide how you want to be treated, then initiate that behavior towards others. This often changes their response.

Initiate positive change. Don't just react to how others treat you; be the catalyst. Demonstrate the behavior you desire to see, even if they don't "deserve" it. This proactive approach can transform interactions.

Qualities we all want: We all desire encouragement, appreciation, forgiveness, to be listened to, and to be understood. Focus on giving these to others.

2. Charisma: Make Others Feel Good About Themselves

Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are in making them feel good about you.

Charisma is attainable. It's not a mystical trait but a quality developed by caring about people. It's about having "personality plus," drawing others in.

Focus outward. Instead of trying to impress, focus on helping others feel important and valued. This "There you are!" attitude is magnetic.

Key traits: Charismatic people show concern, offer help, take action, produce results, influence positively, are sensitive, give motivation (hope), and offer affirmation.

3. Confidence: Your Foundation for Stability and Growth

Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.

Confidence is contagious. It provides stability and allows you to stretch beyond your comfort zone. Insecure people rarely grow or help others grow.

Build self-belief. Confidence in yourself is crucial for believing in others and leading effectively. It's difficult to have faith in others if you lack it yourself.

Develop confidence: Establish your worth in God, focus on Him, build relationships with confident people, seek small wins, specialize in your strengths, and gain knowledge of people and your field.

4. Leadership is Influence, Built on Character

He who thinketh he leadeth and hath no one following him is only taking a walk.

Leadership is influence. It's not just a title but the ability to affect others' thoughts and actions. True leadership comes from serving others.

Essential characteristics: Effective leaders possess a sense of calling, communicate clearly, are creative problem-solvers, are generous contributors, and act consistently. Consistency builds security and trust.

Grow your people. Powerful leaders understand that their greatest asset is human capital. They invest in developing others, sharing their vision and empowering them to contribute.

5. Motivate by Understanding Others' Needs

You can get everything in life you want, if you help enough people get what they want.

Persuasion is sweetness. True persuasion isn't manipulation but using "sweetness" to help people see why doing something is good for them. It speaks to the heart and head.

Know your goal. Be precise about what you want to accomplish before trying to persuade. A clear goal attracts the right people and support.

See their perspective. Understand what others know, feel, and want. Address their concerns and show how your goal aligns with their benefit.

6. Earn Respect Through Integrity and Accountability

Authority minus accountability equals a very dangerous situation.

Leaders live a higher standard. With greater influence comes greater responsibility and stricter judgment. Leaders must earn respect through consistent integrity.

Listen for alarm bells. Stay alert to potential pitfalls by maintaining a strong walk with God, keeping priorities straight (God, family, career), asking difficult questions about motives and timing, and being accountable to others.

Authenticity over image. Focus on character over image building. Be open, honest, and vulnerable to allow God to work through you and impact others.

7. Be an Encourager: Reward the Right Behavior

You get the kind of behavior you reward.

Encouragement spurs action. Knowing what gives people courage helps you inspire them to excellence. Reward desired behavior to see it repeated.

Look for quality and consistency. Reward long-term solutions, productivity, positive attitudes, loyalty, personal growth, creativity, decisive action, simplification, and teamwork.

Top rewards: Money and recognition are powerful, but also consider time off, a piece of the action, favorite work, advancement, freedom, growth opportunities, special time, and thoughtful gifts.

8. Navigate Difficult People with Perspective

If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.

Your perspective matters. How you see yourself influences how you see others. Deal with your own issues first to see others clearly and respond constructively.

You control your reaction. You can't control how others treat you, but you are responsible for your response. This provides stability when dealing with difficult personalities.

Understand types: Recognize traits of "Sherman Tanks" (intimidating), "Space Cadets" (in their own world), "Volcanoes" (explosive), "Thumb Suckers" (pouting), "Wet Blankets" (negative), "Garbage Collectors" (dwelling on hurts), and "Users" (manipulative). Develop strategies for each.

9. Handle Criticism as an Opportunity to Grow

Criticism is something you can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.

Criticism is part of leadership. Leaders and change agents ("leapers") will face opposition. Learn to interpret criticism (constructive vs. destructive) based on spirit, timing, and motive.

Develop resilience. Don't take yourself too seriously; laugh at your blunders. Look beyond the criticism to the critic's character and intent. Maintain a positive attitude and trust God.

Learn and move on. Good people get criticized, even Jesus. Stay physically and spiritually strong. Surround yourself with positive people. Concentrate on your mission and learn from mistakes to fly, not sigh or cry.

10. Build Trust Through Consistency and Belief

We teach what we know, but we reproduce what we are.

Trust is earned. People trust those who have developed character and integrity. Your actions speak louder than your words, especially to those you lead or influence.

Be a role model. Demonstrate the qualities you want to see in others. Your consistent example is the most powerful teaching tool.

Keys to trustworthiness: Appreciate people, anticipate their best, admire accomplishments, accept responsibility, believe the best of others, help them succeed, and equip them for future growth.

11. Develop a Winning Team with Shared Purpose

...nothing which they purpose to do will be impossible for them.

Teamwork requires unity. A group becomes a team when they share a common goal and can communicate effectively towards it. Uniformity isn't enough; purpose is the glue.

Value each player. Recognize that success is a collective effort. Like a high scorer needing ten hands, every team member contributes to the win.

Build team success: Focus on the team's potential, not just individual talent. Foster an environment where people can make mistakes and grow. Celebrate collective victories.

Last updated: June 8, 2025