All the Cool Girls Get Fired

1. Embrace the Inevitable: Getting Fired is a Universal Experience

So many people are getting fired, from so many places, there is a TikTok trend of people filming and sharing their layoffs-by-Zoom.

A common reality. In today's rapidly changing professional landscape, getting fired or laid off is no longer a rare occurrence but a widespread phenomenon. Industries are constantly morphing due to technological advances, company buyouts, and shifting consumer demands, making job security less predictable than ever before. This new reality means that job loss is part of the national discourse, affecting individuals across all sectors and levels.

Beyond personal failure. The authors emphasize that job loss rarely signifies a personal failing or inadequacy in your work. Instead, it often reflects broader industry shifts or internal company decisions. This perspective is crucial for women, who historically have had to work harder to establish their professional standing and may internalize job loss more deeply. Understanding this broader context helps to depersonalize the experience and reduce feelings of shame.

Welcome to the party. The book frames getting fired as an initiation into a large, diverse community of accomplished individuals who have faced similar setbacks. From celebrities like Lisa Kudrow and Oprah Winfrey to seasoned executives, many successful women have experienced job loss. Their stories highlight that while the initial shock and confusion are universal, the experience can ultimately serve as a gateway to new opportunities and a stronger sense of self-worth.

2. Your Value Isn't Tied to Your Job

Do not attach your value to where you work; your value lies within you.

Separate identity from role. For many, a job becomes deeply intertwined with personal identity, status, and self-worth. When that job is lost, it can feel like a profound threat to who you are. The book strongly advocates for detaching your inherent value from your professional title or employer, reminding readers that their skills, experience, and unique personality are intrinsic and travel with them, regardless of their employment status.

A wake-up call. This detachment is not easy, especially in industries that place high value on external markers of success. However, getting fired can serve as a powerful wake-up call to establish healthier boundaries between work and self. It forces a re-evaluation of what truly matters and encourages the cultivation of an identity that is resilient to external professional changes.

Intrinsic worth. Successful women like Katie Couric and Tracy Sherrod share how they learned this lesson the hard way. Couric realized her job at CBS Evening News didn't highlight her true talents, and Sherrod affirmed that her job "did not give me strength. It did not give me identity." Their experiences underscore that true strength and identity come from within, not from a corporate badge or a prestigious title.

3. Financial Preparedness is Your First Line of Defense

Most financial advisers recommend having three to six months’ worth of an emergency fund.

Immediate concerns. Upon job loss, money is almost always the first and most pressing concern. The book stresses the importance of immediate financial assessment and action, including reviewing severance packages, understanding existing savings, and calculating monthly expenses. This pragmatic approach helps to regain a sense of control amidst the chaos.

Strategic negotiation. Severance packages are often negotiable, and the book encourages readers to view the initial offer as a starting point, not a final deal. Key negotiation points include:

• Vacation time payout
• Outplacement services
• Reduced noncompete clauses
• Keeping company property (e.g., laptop, phone)
• Extended health insurance coverage

Build your safety net. Beyond severance, having an emergency fund is critical. If one isn't in place, the book advises identifying "last resort" money sources, such as loans from family, selling assets, or exploring 401(k) options (with caution). Applying for unemployment benefits immediately is also crucial, as these are earned entitlements that provide a vital income bridge.

4. Navigate Your Exit with Strategy, Not Shame

There’s real power in being able to say, “Yeah, I got fired.”

Own your narrative. The book strongly advises against covering up or "spinning" the truth about being fired. Attempting to create an elegant, mutual "parting of ways" can lead to feelings of loneliness and fraudulence, wasting precious energy needed for recovery. Instead, owning the truth strips away stigma and allows you to control your story, presenting it as a chapter of resilience rather than a defining failure.

Craft your announcement. A well-crafted, honest announcement can turn a setback into a moment of connection and support. Whether shared on LinkedIn or through personal messages, a clear statement about the layoff, your achievements, and your openness to new opportunities can generate significant traction. Key elements include:

• Acknowledge the layoff directly.
• Highlight past accomplishments and skills.
• State your availability and desired roles.
• Express gratitude and openness to reconnect.

Don't burn bridges. While cathartic in the moment, "scorched earth" social media posts or angry outbursts during exit meetings are detrimental. Maintaining professionalism and grace, even when hurt, preserves your reputation and keeps future doors open. People respect dignity and honesty more than they do public grievances, and your former colleagues or HR contacts might become valuable allies in your next chapter.

5. Leverage Your Network: People Want to Help

Most people hate this advice because they feel more self-conscious about reaching out to people they already know than reaching out to brand-new people.

The power of connection. Your professional network is your most valuable asset after a layoff. The book emphasizes that people, especially those you've worked with and treated well, are often eager to offer support, advice, and leads. Overcoming the initial self-consciousness of reaching out is crucial, as these existing relationships are built on trust and a shared history.

Proactive engagement. Don't wait for people to call you; proactively schedule meetings, coffees, or virtual chats. Having a clear, concise answer to "How can I help?" is essential to maximize these interactions. Filling your calendar with these networking opportunities provides a sense of purpose and keeps you visible in your industry.

Diverse outreach strategies:

• Former colleagues: They know your work and can offer commiseration, leads, or resume feedback.
• LinkedIn: Update your profile, engage with posts, and send personalized connection requests.
• Introductions: Ask trusted contacts for introductions to people in your target industries.
• Group chats: If part of a mass layoff, connect with former colleagues to share leads and support.

6. Prioritize Your Mental Health and Take a Break

Give yourself some time. If it’s a week or two weeks, and you want to cry, have at it.

Acknowledge the trauma. Losing a job is a traumatic event, akin to a breakup, and it's perfectly normal to grieve. The book encourages taking a deliberate pause to process emotions like anxiety, insecurity, anger, and sadness. Rushing into the next step while emotionally scrambled can lead to poor decisions and carry unhealed baggage into a new role.

You are not your job. Reiterate the critical message: your job is not your identity. Over-investing yourself in work can make job loss feel like a personal attack. Cultivating passions outside of work—hobbies, sports, volunteering, or strong friendships—creates a more balanced life and a robust sense of self that is less vulnerable to professional setbacks.

Stay connected, but wisely. While retreating entirely can worsen feelings of isolation, strategic engagement is key. Stay visible in your professional world, even if it's just for brief, low-pressure interactions. However, be mindful of social media's potential for FOMO and comparison, and don't hesitate to unplug if it becomes toxic. If feelings become debilitating, seeking professional help from a therapist is a sign of strength, not weakness.

7. Reinvent Yourself: It's an Opportunity, Not an End

This transition is, in fact, a gateway to a whole new world of opportunity— to leave behind your old obligations and explore what you really love.

A blank slate. Getting fired, though painful, offers a unique chance for a "Capital R Revelation" about your professional life. It's an opportunity to step off the hamster wheel and deeply consider what truly makes you happy, challenged, and fulfilled, rather than what you've always done. This period allows for a deliberate "editing" of professional priorities, refreshing your energy and focus.

Broaden your horizons. Don't limit your search to familiar territory. Explore adjacent industries, new roles, or even entrepreneurial ventures. The skills you've honed are often transferable to unexpected fields. Jennifer O’Connell and Rebecca Quinn, after being laid off from HBO Max, launched Velvet Hammer Media, betting on their unique female-led perspective in a male-dominated industry. Their story exemplifies how a setback can ignite a passion for building something entirely new.

Embrace new skills. The modern workplace demands continuous learning and adaptability. Use this time to acquire new skills, certifications, or knowledge that can make you more marketable. Whether it's mastering AI tools, taking online courses, or volunteering in a new sector, investing in your intellectual capital can open doors you never knew existed, transforming a perceived ending into a vibrant new beginning.

8. Know Your Rights and When to Seek Legal Counsel

An employee may have legal rights or potential claims that they’re not aware of.

Protect your interests. When facing termination, consulting a legal expert is a smart, proactive step. Employment lawyers can clarify your rights, review severance agreements, and determine if there are grounds for wrongful termination. Many lawyers work on contingency, meaning you only pay if you win, making legal advice more accessible than often perceived.

Illegal vs. unfair. It's crucial to distinguish between an unfair firing and an illegal one. While many terminations feel unjust, they are not always legally actionable. A lawyer can assess if your case involves:

• Breach of contract: If your employment agreement was violated.
• Discrimination: Based on protected characteristics like race, gender, or disability.
• Retaliation: Firing due to complaints about workplace issues.
• Whistleblower protection: Termination for reporting improprieties.

Don't sign immediately. Never feel pressured to sign any separation agreement on the spot. Take it home, review it thoroughly, and ideally, have a lawyer examine it. If you're over forty, specific protections under the Older Workers Benefit Protection Act grant you more time for review and a revocation period. This pause ensures you understand all terms and don't inadvertently waive important rights.

9. Don't Be Afraid to Take a Step Back to Leap Forward

Don’t underestimate a job that’s a step back. Don’t turn your nose up at opportunity.

Strategic demotion. Sometimes, the fastest path forward after a layoff is to take a temporary step back. Mika Brzezinski, after being fired from CBS News, accepted a freelance newsreader role at MSNBC, a significant demotion in pay and status. This seemingly small opportunity put her in the right place at the right time, ultimately leading to her co-anchor position on Morning Joe.

Rebuild confidence. A less demanding role can be a crucial stepping stone for rebuilding confidence and regaining momentum. It allows you to:

• Re-engage with work without overwhelming pressure.
• Re-establish a routine and sense of purpose.
• Demonstrate reliability and competence in a new environment.
• Network internally for future, more desirable positions.

Long-game thinking. This approach is about playing the long game, prioritizing strategic positioning over immediate gratification. It's about getting your foot in the door of a desirable company or industry, proving your value, and then leveraging that internal trust to transition into a role that aligns more closely with your long-term aspirations. As Lindsay Colas learned from her own experiences, "Even when you’ve done everything right, there’s always something to learn."

10. Sometimes, Life Fires You So You Can Fire Yourself

Sometimes we don’t have the guts to leave something that doesn’t belong to us anymore, and life does us a favor in taking it away.

The "ick" factor. Many women stay in jobs long past their expiration date, enduring dissatisfaction, lack of growth, or toxic environments. This "ick" feeling—a sense of unease or disengagement—is a strong indicator that it's time to consider a change. Life sometimes intervenes with a firing, providing the push needed to leave a situation you lacked the courage to exit voluntarily.

Health and goals. Staying in the wrong job can severely impact your mental and physical health, leading to burnout, anxiety, or even PTSD. It can also prevent you from achieving long-term career goals if there's no path for learning, promotion, or increased autonomy. Recognizing these signs is crucial for your well-being and future trajectory.

Proactive exit strategy. If you sense instability or dissatisfaction, the book encourages a proactive "firing yourself" approach. This involves:

• Self-assessment: Regularly evaluate your job satisfaction and alignment with personal goals.
• Market research: Explore other opportunities on LinkedIn and through networking.
• Financial planning: Build a savings cushion to support your transition.
• Skill development: Acquire new skills to enhance marketability.

Oprah Winfrey's journey from a demoted news anchor to owning her media empire perfectly illustrates this. She realized her initial role wasn't her true calling, and the "setback" ultimately "set her free" to find her authentic path.

Last updated: December 4, 2025