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All I Am

All I Am

Drew's Story
by Jodi Ellen Malpas 2017 5 pages
4.18
6.2K ratings
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Plot Summary

Unexpected Invitation, Unseen Desires

Ava's ordinary life is disrupted

Ava O'Shea, a talented but overworked interior designer, is thrust into the unfamiliar world of the ultra-wealthy when she's summoned to The Manor, a lavish country estate. Expecting a stuffy, traditional client, she instead meets Jesse Ward, the enigmatic and devastatingly attractive owner. From their first encounter, Ava is unsettled by Jesse's intense gaze and the electric chemistry between them. Despite her professionalism, she's drawn to his confidence and the way he seems to see right through her. The opulence of The Manor and Jesse's mysterious request for her modern touch set the stage for a collision of desire and control, leaving Ava both intrigued and wary of what lies ahead.

The Magnetic Lord Revealed

Jesse's allure and dominance emerge

Ava's initial meeting with Jesse is anything but typical. He's younger and far more magnetic than she expected, exuding a raw, masculine energy that both intimidates and excites her. Their conversation is laced with double meanings and flirtation, and Jesse's physical proximity leaves Ava flustered and off-balance. He requests her specifically for a project that seems at odds with her style, hinting at desires beyond mere interior design. As Ava tries to maintain her boundaries, Jesse's relentless charm and subtle dominance begin to erode her resistance, awakening feelings she's never experienced and igniting a dangerous game of attraction.

Relentless Pursuit, Reluctant Surrender

Jesse's pursuit intensifies, Ava resists

Jesse's pursuit of Ava is unyielding. He invades her professional and personal life with calls, texts, and unexpected appearances, making it clear he wants her—on his terms. Ava, still reeling from a recent breakup and determined to enjoy her newfound independence, tries to keep Jesse at arm's length. Yet, his confidence and the undeniable chemistry between them make it increasingly difficult. Jesse's boldness borders on arrogance, but his vulnerability peeks through in rare moments, hinting at a deeper need. Ava's resistance crumbles as she's swept up in the intensity of his attention, torn between fear of losing herself and the thrill of surrender.

Boundaries Blurred, Temptations Ignited

Desire overcomes caution, lines blur

Ava's professional boundaries blur as Jesse manipulates situations to keep her close, using both charm and subtle coercion. Their interactions become charged with sexual tension, culminating in a passionate encounter that leaves Ava questioning her own limits. Jesse's need for control is evident in the bedroom and beyond, and Ava finds herself both exhilarated and unsettled by the way he dominates her senses. The pleasure he offers is addictive, but it comes with the price of her autonomy. As their physical relationship deepens, so does the emotional entanglement, making it harder for Ava to distinguish between desire and danger.

The Power of Control

Jesse's dominance and Ava's struggle

Jesse's need for control extends beyond the bedroom, infiltrating every aspect of Ava's life. He dictates her schedule, wardrobe, and even her social interactions, often under the guise of protection or care. Ava, fiercely independent, chafes against his possessiveness but is also drawn to the security and intensity he provides. Their relationship becomes a battleground of wills, with Jesse using sex as both a weapon and a balm. Ava's friends notice the changes in her, and she begins to question whether Jesse's love is empowering or suffocating. The struggle for balance between submission and selfhood becomes the heart of their connection.

Tangled in Secrets

Hidden truths threaten their bond

As Ava is drawn deeper into Jesse's world, she senses that he's hiding something significant. His evasiveness about his past, his age, and the true nature of The Manor creates a growing sense of unease. Ava's attempts to uncover the truth are met with distraction, seduction, or outright avoidance. Meanwhile, Jesse's jealousy and protectiveness intensify, especially when confronted with Ava's ex or the attention of other men. The secrets between them become a silent wedge, and Ava's trust is tested as she wonders what Jesse is truly capable of—and what he's willing to do to keep her.

The Price of Obsession

Obsession breeds conflict and pain

Jesse's obsession with Ava reaches a fever pitch, manifesting in controlling behaviors and emotional volatility. He showers her with gifts, manipulates her work commitments, and isolates her from others, all in the name of love. Ava, both flattered and alarmed, oscillates between passion and resentment. Their arguments become more frequent and intense, often resolved through explosive sex but leaving deeper wounds each time. The line between love and possession blurs, and Ava begins to fear that Jesse's need for her is less about partnership and more about ownership. The emotional stakes rise as both realize the cost of their obsession.

Cracks in the Facade

Truths surface, trust is shattered

Ava's suspicions about The Manor and Jesse's past come to a head when she discovers the true nature of his business: The Manor is not just a hotel, but a high-end sex club catering to the elite. The revelation is devastating, confirming her worst fears about Jesse's secrets and the women who orbit his world. Feeling betrayed and humiliated, Ava confronts Jesse, who pleads for understanding but cannot undo the damage. The trust between them is shattered, and Ava is forced to confront the reality that the man she loves is not who she thought he was. The illusion of safety and romance crumbles, leaving only pain and confusion.

Revelations and Ruin

Confrontation leads to heartbreak

The fallout from Ava's discovery is immediate and catastrophic. Jesse, desperate to explain, reveals his own brokenness and the reasons behind his need for control and secrecy. He confesses his fear of abandonment, his struggles with addiction, and the emptiness that led him to create The Manor. Ava, overwhelmed by the magnitude of his deception and the darkness of his world, cannot reconcile the man she loves with the reality before her. Their confrontation is raw and emotional, exposing wounds on both sides. Ultimately, Ava chooses to walk away, unable to forgive or forget, and Jesse is left alone, consumed by regret and longing.

The Edge of Goodbye

Separation and self-reflection

Ava returns to her old life, seeking solace in the familiar routines of work and friendship. The absence of Jesse is a constant ache, and she struggles to make sense of her feelings. Friends offer support and advice, but only Ava can decide whether the love she shared with Jesse is worth the pain it caused. Meanwhile, Jesse spirals into self-destruction, his addiction and loneliness magnified by Ava's absence. Both are forced to confront their own flaws and the choices that led them to this point. The possibility of reconciliation hangs in the balance, dependent on honesty, healing, and the willingness to change.

The Aftermath of Truth

Pain, growth, and tentative hope

In the wake of their breakup, Ava and Jesse are haunted by memories of their time together. Ava questions whether she can ever trust again, while Jesse battles his demons and seeks redemption. Their friends, caught in the crossfire, urge them to find closure, but the wounds are deep. As time passes, both begin to grow—Ava reclaiming her independence and Jesse confronting the roots of his need for control. The pain of separation is matched only by the hope that love, if it is real, can survive even the harshest truths. The story ends with the possibility of a new beginning, but only if both are willing to face themselves and each other honestly.

Love's Unbearable Weight

The burden and beauty of love

Ava and Jesse's story is a testament to the power and peril of love. Their connection is undeniable, but it is also fraught with danger, secrets, and the struggle for autonomy. Love, in their world, is both a sanctuary and a battlefield—a place of ecstasy and agony. The weight of their feelings threatens to crush them, but it also offers the possibility of transformation. Through heartbreak and healing, they learn that true love requires vulnerability, trust, and the courage to let go of control. The journey is painful, but it is also beautiful, revealing the depths of the human heart.

The Choice to Stay

A decision between fear and hope

In the end, Ava is faced with a choice: to walk away from Jesse and the chaos he brings, or to risk everything for the chance at real, imperfect love. The decision is not easy, and the future is uncertain. But as she reflects on their journey—the passion, the pain, the growth—she realizes that love is not about possession or control, but about acceptance and the willingness to face the unknown together. The story closes on a note of hope, as Ava chooses to stay, not because she needs Jesse, but because she wants to build something new with him, grounded in truth and mutual respect.

Characters

Ava O'Shea

Independent, passionate, and conflicted

Ava is a talented interior designer whose life is upended by her encounter with Jesse Ward. Fiercely independent and recently single, she is determined to enjoy her freedom but is quickly drawn into Jesse's orbit. Ava's journey is one of self-discovery, as she grapples with her desires, boundaries, and the allure of surrender. Her relationship with Jesse challenges her sense of self, forcing her to confront her own needs for control, love, and acceptance. Ava's vulnerability is matched by her strength, and her evolution is marked by the struggle to balance autonomy with intimacy. Her friendships provide grounding, but it is her willingness to face the truth—about Jesse and herself—that defines her arc.

Jesse Ward

Dominant, damaged, and desperate for love

Jesse is the enigmatic owner of The Manor, a man whose wealth and power mask deep wounds. His need for control is both a shield and a prison, born from past betrayals and a fear of abandonment. Jesse's obsession with Ava is immediate and overwhelming, leading him to pursue her with relentless intensity. His dominance is both erotic and suffocating, offering Ava pleasure and pain in equal measure. Beneath his bravado lies a man desperate for connection, haunted by secrets and addiction. Jesse's journey is one of reckoning—with his past, his choices, and the possibility of redemption. His love for Ava is real, but it is also fraught with the danger of possession and the hope of transformation.

Kate Matthews

Loyal, outspoken, and fiercely protective

Kate is Ava's best friend and confidante, providing comic relief and unwavering support throughout the story. Her vibrant personality and no-nonsense attitude make her a grounding force in Ava's life. Kate is quick to challenge Ava's choices but always stands by her side, offering tough love and practical advice. Her own romantic escapades mirror Ava's struggles, highlighting the complexities of modern relationships. Kate's loyalty is matched by her willingness to call out bullshit, making her an essential anchor as Ava navigates the stormy waters of love and obsession.

Sam

Charming, playful, and unexpectedly deep

Sam is Jesse's friend and a source of levity in the narrative. His easygoing nature and flirtatious banter provide a counterpoint to Jesse's intensity. Beneath his playful exterior, Sam is perceptive and caring, offering insight and support to both Jesse and Ava. His own romantic entanglements with Kate add layers to his character, revealing a man who values connection and loyalty. Sam's role as mediator and confidant is crucial, especially as tensions rise and secrets are revealed.

Sarah

Jealous, manipulative, and emblematic of Jesse's past

Sarah is a recurring presence at The Manor, embodying the dangers and temptations of Jesse's world. Her jealousy and possessiveness toward Jesse create conflict and tension, serving as a constant reminder of the secrets he keeps. Sarah's interactions with Ava are laced with hostility and warning, reflecting her own unresolved feelings for Jesse. She represents the life Jesse is trying to leave behind, and her actions force Ava to confront the reality of Jesse's past and the risks of loving him.

Patrick

Supportive mentor, pragmatic, and business-minded

Patrick is Ava's boss and a father figure, providing stability and guidance in her professional life. His belief in Ava's talent is unwavering, and he encourages her to pursue opportunities that challenge her. Patrick's pragmatism and experience offer a counterbalance to the chaos of Ava's personal life. He is protective but respects Ava's autonomy, trusting her judgment even as he worries about her involvement with Jesse. Patrick's presence is a reminder of the importance of boundaries and the value of self-respect.

Tom

Flamboyant, humorous, and emotionally astute

Tom is Ava's colleague and friend, known for his wit and flamboyant style. His humor and candor provide much-needed levity, and his observations about love and relationships are often surprisingly insightful. Tom's own romantic adventures mirror the story's themes of desire, vulnerability, and the search for connection. He is supportive of Ava, offering both comic relief and genuine empathy as she navigates her tumultuous relationship with Jesse.

Victoria

Ambitious, image-conscious, and searching for love

Victoria is another of Ava's colleagues, driven by ambition and a desire for validation. Her preoccupation with appearance and status often leads to humorous situations, but beneath the surface, she is searching for genuine connection. Victoria's romantic misadventures serve as a foil to Ava's story, highlighting the challenges of modern dating and the longing for something real. Her friendship with Ava is marked by both competition and camaraderie.

John

Stoic, protective, and loyal

John is Jesse's right-hand man at The Manor, responsible for security and the smooth running of operations. His imposing presence and few words mask a deep loyalty to Jesse and a quiet protectiveness toward Ava. John's role is often that of silent observer, but his actions speak volumes about his commitment to those he cares about. He is a stabilizing force in the chaos of The Manor, embodying strength and discretion.

Mikael Van Der Haus

Sophisticated, enigmatic, and a catalyst for change

Mikael is a developer and one of Ava's clients, representing the allure and danger of the elite world she enters. His interest in Ava is both professional and personal, creating tension and jealousy in her relationship with Jesse. Mikael's sophistication and charm are matched by a sense of mystery, and his presence forces Ava to confront her own desires and boundaries. He serves as a catalyst for Ava's growth, challenging her to define what she truly wants.

Plot Devices

Duality of Power and Surrender

Explores the tension between autonomy and submission

The narrative is structured around the push and pull between Jesse's need for control and Ava's desire for independence. This duality is mirrored in their sexual relationship, where power dynamics are both a source of pleasure and conflict. The story uses alternating moments of dominance and vulnerability to explore the complexities of love, trust, and selfhood. Foreshadowing is employed through Jesse's evasiveness and the secrets of The Manor, building suspense and tension. The gradual revelation of Jesse's past and the true nature of his business serve as turning points, forcing both characters to confront their fears and desires. The use of recurring motifs—such as clothing, physical touch, and the act of surrender—reinforces the central themes and emotional stakes.

Analysis

All I Am: Drew's Story (as part of the "This Man" universe) is a modern exploration of the intoxicating and perilous nature of obsessive love. Through the lens of Ava and Jesse's tumultuous relationship, the novel interrogates the boundaries between passion and possession, autonomy and surrender. The story's emotional arc is driven by the tension between the desire for control and the need for vulnerability, both in love and in life. Jesse's dominance is both seductive and destructive, offering Ava ecstasy but threatening her sense of self. The revelation of The Manor's true purpose serves as a metaphor for the hidden dangers that lurk beneath the surface of desire, challenging the characters to confront uncomfortable truths. Ultimately, the novel suggests that real love is not about ownership or control, but about acceptance, honesty, and the willingness to face one's own darkness. The journey is fraught with pain, but it is also a testament to the transformative power of love—if both partners are willing to grow. The story's lessons are clear: love requires courage, boundaries, and the humility to admit one's flaws. Only then can two people build something lasting, not on illusions, but on truth.

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Review Summary

4.18 out of 5
Average of 6.2K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

All I Am is a novella in the This Man series, focusing on Drew Davies. Readers enjoyed revisiting characters from previous books, especially Jesse Ward. The story follows Drew's unexpected connection with Raya at a sex club. While some found the romance rushed, many appreciated the steamy scenes and Drew's relationship with his daughter. Criticisms included predictability and lack of character development. Overall, fans of the series were satisfied with this quick, sexy read, though some wished for a longer story to fully explore Drew and Raya's relationship.

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4.62
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About the Author

Jodi Ellen Malpas is a bestselling English author known for writing powerful love stories with memorable characters. Her work has been published in over 26 languages worldwide. Born and raised in England, she currently resides there with her husband, children, and their Doberman, Theo. Malpas's passion for crafting intense romantic fiction has led her on an incredible journey in the world of publishing. Her next release, The Invitation, continues her trend of creating captivating narratives that resonate with readers globally. Malpas's success as a #1 New York Times and Sunday Times bestselling author highlights her talent for creating engaging, emotionally-charged stories.

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