Plot Summary
Prologue: Phantom Limbs
Jacqui, years after a life-altering love triangle, returns to California, reflecting on the ache of missing pieces in her heart. She wonders if seeing her old lovers, Mick and Remy, will heal her or reopen wounds. The past is a box she's never fully closed, and as her wedding approaches, she's compelled to confront what was left behind. The emotional void is palpable, setting the stage for a story about longing, memory, and the search for closure.
Gasoline and First Glances
In 1982 Oakland, Jacqui's life is off-track: stuck at home, working a dead-end gas station job, and reeling from a breakup. Her world shifts when she meets Remy, a charming mechanic with a candy-apple Camaro, and his magnetic friend Mick, a brooding Mustang owner. Their flirtatious banter and instant chemistry hint at the transformative summer ahead. Jacqui's isolation begins to crack as she's drawn into their orbit, igniting hope for friendship and something more.
Camaro Rides, Mustang Hearts
Remy's wild ride in his Camaro introduces Jacqui to a new world of adrenaline and possibility. At a party, she meets the rest of the crew—Vinny, Jeremy, Terry, and Kendra—and feels the first stirrings of belonging. Mick, with his quiet intensity, stands out, and their charged interactions leave Jacqui breathless. The night ends with Mick's chivalrous drive home, planting the seeds of infatuation and the sense that love at first sight might be real.
Found Family Forms
Jacqui's days fill with camaraderie, late-night burgers, and confessions under the stars. She learns the boys' dreams and traumas—Remy's party-boy bravado masking a chaotic home, Mick's longing for the ocean concealing deeper pain. The group's easy acceptance soothes Jacqui's loneliness, offering the found family she's craved. Yet, under the surface, romantic tensions simmer, and the boundaries between friendship and desire blur.
Summer Nights, New Bonds
Movie nights, parties, and shared secrets draw Jacqui closer to Mick and Remy. A touch in the dark, a protective arm, and late-night conversations reveal wounds: Jacqui's mother's depression, Mick's abusive father, Remy's reckless upbringing. The trio's connection intensifies, each filling a void in the others. The summer becomes a crucible for love, trust, and the intoxicating thrill of being truly seen.
Parental Ghosts and Girlfriends
Jacqui's home life is a minefield of neglect and bitterness, while Remy's volatile relationship with Karin brings drama to the group. Jealousy and misunderstandings flare, especially as Jacqui's bond with Mick grows. The trio navigates the push-pull of attraction, loyalty, and the fear of repeating their parents' mistakes. The specter of the past looms, threatening to unravel the fragile happiness they've found.
Softball, Jealousy, and Belonging
At a softball game, Jacqui faces open hostility from Karin, exposing the challenges of being the "girl among the guys." Yet, the team's camaraderie and her growing confidence solidify her place in the group. Remy and Mick's protectiveness deepens, but so do the complications of their triangle. The lines between friendship, rivalry, and desire become increasingly tangled.
Movie Magic, Electric Touch
During a group movie outing, Mick's arm around Jacqui ignites a current neither can ignore. The after-party at Mick's house is a haze of drugs, laughter, and longing glances. Jacqui's sense of belonging is shadowed by her yearning for more, and the night ends with her aching for what might be. The emotional stakes rise as the trio edges closer to crossing the point of no return.
Parties, Lines, and Confessions
The group's parties grow wilder, with cocaine and confessions flowing freely. Jacqui learns the depths of Remy's family dysfunction and Mick's guardedness. Vulnerabilities are laid bare—dreams, traumas, and the ache for happiness. The trio's intimacy intensifies, but so do the risks: jealousy, addiction, and the fear of heartbreak. The summer's reckless abandon is both a refuge and a ticking time bomb.
Love Triangles Ignite
Jacqui and Mick's chemistry erupts in a passionate encounter, shattering the illusion of "just friends." Remy's feelings complicate matters, and the trio is forced to confront the reality of their entanglement. Secrets, guilt, and longing swirl as they struggle to balance love, loyalty, and the fear of losing each other. The triangle is no longer theoretical—it's painfully, beautifully real.
Secrets, Scars, and Surrender
Mick's abusive childhood and Jacqui's family trauma come to the fore, deepening their bond but also exposing raw nerves. Remy's infidelities and self-destructive tendencies strain the trio's unity. The group's attempts at honesty and healing are fraught with setbacks, but moments of tenderness and understanding offer hope. The question of whether love can transcend pain becomes central.
Breaking Curfews, Breaking Hearts
Jacqui's rebellion against her parents leads to grounding and a painful confrontation with her father, who tries to sabotage her relationship with Mick. Misunderstandings and pride drive Mick to break things off, leaving Jacqui devastated. Remy's loyalty is tested as he tries to comfort her, but the loss of Mick leaves a gaping wound. The trio's foundation cracks, and the future is uncertain.
The Three Musketeers
Despite heartbreak, Jacqui, Remy, and Mick attempt to salvage their friendship. Remy's humor and steadfastness become Jacqui's anchor, while Mick's absence is a constant ache. The group's dynamic shifts, with new boundaries and unspoken desires simmering beneath the surface. The pain of what's lost is matched only by the hope that something new can be built from the ruins.
Happiness and Heroin
The trio's attempts to find happiness are complicated by Remy's escalating drug use and Mick's struggle to escape his father's shadow. Jacqui's love for both men deepens, but so does her fear of losing them. The metaphor of heroin—addictive, destructive, irresistible—captures the intensity of their connection. The line between pleasure and pain blurs, and the cost of love becomes ever more apparent.
Cracks in the Foundation
Remy's infidelity and Jacqui's growing feelings for Mick strain the trio to the breaking point. Family pressures, college plans, and the realities of adulthood intrude, forcing difficult choices. The group's once-unbreakable bond is tested by lies, jealousy, and the fear of abandonment. The question of whether love can survive betrayal looms large.
Betrayal, Robbery, and Rescue
Jacqui is robbed at gunpoint at work, and Remy becomes her protector and lover in the aftermath. Their intimacy deepens, but guilt and unresolved feelings for Mick linger. The trio's dynamic shifts again, with new boundaries and old wounds resurfacing. The trauma forces Jacqui to confront her need for safety, love, and belonging.
Recovery, Rebellion, and Remy
Jacqui's recovery from the robbery is marked by rebellion against her parents and a deepening relationship with Remy. Yet, the specter of Mick remains, and the trio's attempts to move forward are complicated by unresolved feelings. College plans, new roommates, and the promise of independence offer hope, but the past is never far behind.
New Beginnings, Old Wounds
Jacqui's move to San Jose State brings new friends, new challenges, and a chance at reinvention. Yet, a chance encounter with Mick at the beach reignites old feelings and forces the trio to confront what they truly want. The impossibility of choosing between love and loyalty becomes clear, and the stage is set for a reckoning.
College Dreams, Family Nightmares
Jacqui's newfound independence is shadowed by her mother's decline and her father's controlling ways. Remy's family pressures and Mick's ongoing struggles with his father mirror Jacqui's own battles. The trio's attempts to build a future are haunted by the ghosts of their families, and the question of whether they can truly escape the past remains unresolved.
Roommates, Road Trips, and Realizations
New friendships with Jas and Kit offer Jacqui a sense of sisterhood she's never known. Road trips, late-night talks, and shared dreams provide solace, but the pull of Mick and Remy is ever-present. The trio's attempts to redefine their relationship are complicated by jealousy, longing, and the fear of losing each other.
Reunion at Surfer's Beach
A surprise reunion with Mick at the beach brings old feelings rushing back. The trio's friendship is tested as they navigate the possibility of being "just friends" and the reality of lingering desire. The impossibility of choosing between love and loyalty becomes ever more apparent, and the stage is set for a final reckoning.
The Impossible Choice
Jacqui is forced to confront the impossibility of choosing between Mick and Remy. The trio's love is undeniable, but so are the risks: jealousy, heartbreak, and the fear of losing everything. A storm of emotions culminates in a confrontation that threatens to tear them apart forever.
Storms, Surrender, and the Sea
On a boat in the Pacific, the trio lays bare their feelings, fears, and desires. The impossibility of choosing gives way to a radical solution: embracing a threefold love. The storm of jealousy and pain gives way to surrender, acceptance, and the hope that love—messy, unconventional, and true—can survive.
Threefold Love
Jacqui, Mick, and Remy forge a new path, embracing their love for each other without shame or fear. Their friendship, passion, and loyalty become the foundation for a chosen family that defies convention. The future is uncertain, but for now, they are whole—together.
Epilogue: Undertow
In 1989, Jacqui reflects on the journey that brought her to this moment. The ache of loss has given way to gratitude for the love she found—and kept. The undertow of the past is still there, but she has learned to ride the waves, trusting that the family she chose will always be her anchor.
Characters
Jacqui Hall
Jacqui is the emotional heart of the story—a young woman marked by family neglect, longing for connection, and haunted by loss. Her journey is one of self-discovery, as she navigates the complexities of love, friendship, and trauma. Jacqui's relationships with Mick and Remy are both a refuge and a crucible, forcing her to confront her deepest fears and desires. Her psychological arc is defined by the tension between independence and the need for belonging, and her growth is measured by her willingness to embrace unconventional love and claim her own happiness.
Mick Callahan
Mick is the enigmatic, quietly intense anchor of the trio. Scarred by an abusive father and a history of betrayal, he is both fiercely protective and deeply guarded. His love for the ocean mirrors his emotional depths—calm on the surface, stormy beneath. Mick's journey is one of learning to trust, to accept love, and to believe in his own worth. His relationship with Jacqui is transformative, offering both healing and the risk of heartbreak. His friendship with Remy is a lifeline, but also a source of pain as they navigate the complexities of loving the same woman.
Remy Remington
Remy is the life of the party—charming, reckless, and magnetic. Beneath his bravado lies a deep vulnerability, shaped by a chaotic, permissive upbringing and a desperate need for acceptance. Remy's loyalty to his friends is unwavering, but his self-destructive tendencies threaten to unravel everything. His love for Jacqui is both passionate and possessive, and his friendship with Mick is tested by jealousy and competition. Remy's arc is one of learning to balance freedom with responsibility, and to accept love without fear of losing himself.
Vinny Murano
Vinny is the group's Italian-American rock—muscular, affable, and always ready with a joke or a helping hand. He provides stability and levity, often acting as a buffer during conflicts. Vinny's own romantic entanglements and loyalty to his friends add depth to the group dynamic, and his presence underscores the theme of found family.
Jeremy
Jeremy is the group's aspiring politician—handsome, witty, and always ready with a quip. His flirtations and competitive streak add spice to the group's interactions, while his ambition and drive contrast with the more aimless trajectories of his friends. Jeremy's role is to challenge and provoke, pushing the others to confront uncomfortable truths.
Kendra
Kendra is Jacqui's first genuine female friend—a warm, supportive presence who offers acceptance without judgment. Her relationship with Terry and her own struggles with love mirror Jacqui's journey, and her loyalty provides a model for healthy, affirming friendship. Kendra's presence highlights the importance of chosen family and the healing power of female solidarity.
Terry Walton
Terry is the group's star athlete—talented, driven, and kind-hearted. His success on the baseball field and his relationship with Kendra offer a counterpoint to the more tumultuous lives of his friends. Terry's stability and generosity make him a pillar of the group, and his journey underscores the value of perseverance and integrity.
Jaswinder "Jas"
Jas is Jacqui's vibrant, witty roommate in San Jose—a journalism major with a sharp tongue and a big heart. Her friendship offers Jacqui a sense of sisterhood and belonging, and her own romantic adventures add depth to the story's exploration of love and identity. Jas's presence broadens the narrative's cultural scope and highlights the importance of diversity in found family.
Kit
Kit is Jas's best friend and Jacqui's other roommate—a marketing major with a dry sense of humor and a hidden vulnerability. Her unrequited love story and steadfast support for Jacqui add emotional resonance to the narrative. Kit's journey is one of learning to trust, to risk, and to believe in the possibility of love.
Karin
Karin is Remy's on-again, off-again girlfriend—a source of drama, insecurity, and conflict. Her antagonism toward Jacqui and volatility with Remy serve as catalysts for key plot developments. Karin's presence forces the trio to confront the darker sides of love: jealousy, possessiveness, and the fear of abandonment.
Plot Devices
Nonlinear Narrative and Dual Timelines
The novel opens in 1989, with Jacqui reflecting on her past, then plunges into the pivotal summer of 1982. This structure allows the reader to experience both the immediacy of youthful passion and the ache of hindsight. The dual timelines create suspense, foreshadowing, and a sense of inevitability, as the reader knows from the start that something precious was lost.
Found Family and Chosen Bonds
The central plot device is the creation of a found family—a group of misfits who offer each other the love, acceptance, and safety their biological families failed to provide. This theme is explored through parties, softball games, late-night confessions, and the trio's evolving love triangle. The found family is both a refuge and a source of conflict, as the boundaries between friendship and romance blur.
Love Triangle and Polyamory
The love triangle between Jacqui, Mick, and Remy is the engine of the plot, driving both external events and internal transformation. The story subverts the traditional triangle by ultimately embracing a polyamorous solution—an open, honest, threefold love that defies convention. This device allows for the exploration of jealousy, loyalty, and the possibility of loving more than one person without betrayal.
Trauma, Healing, and Cycles of Abuse
The characters' family traumas—abuse, neglect, addiction—are not just backstory but active forces shaping their choices. The narrative uses flashbacks, confessions, and moments of vulnerability to reveal how the past haunts the present. Healing is depicted as nonlinear, messy, and dependent on the willingness to trust and be seen.
Symbolism of the Ocean and Cars
The ocean is a recurring symbol—representing both the allure and the danger of love, the pull of the unknown, and the possibility of renewal. Fast cars and road trips symbolize escape, risk, and the thrill of living on the edge. These motifs are woven throughout the narrative, reinforcing the themes of longing, movement, and the search for home.
Foreshadowing and Circularity
The novel is rich in foreshadowing—early references to loss, addiction, and the impossibility of forever are echoed in later events. The story's circular structure—beginning and ending with Jacqui's reflections—underscores the persistence of memory and the enduring power of love.
Analysis
When There Was Us is a coming-of-age novel that dares to ask: What if the love triangle didn't have to end in heartbreak? Set against the sun-drenched, reckless backdrop of 1980s California, the story is both a nostalgic ode to youth and a modern meditation on trauma, healing, and the courage to love outside the lines. The novel's greatest strength is its refusal to offer easy answers—embracing the messiness of desire, the pain of family wounds, and the beauty of chosen bonds. By centering a polyamorous relationship not as a scandal but as a hard-won, honest solution, the book challenges readers to rethink the limits of love and loyalty. Ultimately, it's a story about survival—of the heart, of friendship, and of the self. The lesson is clear: happiness is fleeting, but the families we choose, and the love we dare to claim, can anchor us through any storm.
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