We Were Dreamers

1. The Immigrant Dream: Sacrifice and Unconditional Love

Our stories are one and the same, our destinies forever intertwined and defined by our sweat, our sacrifice and our unyielding dedication to defying the odds and achieving the impossible.

A family's journey. Simu Liu's story begins in Harbin, China, where he spent his first four and a half years with his paternal grandparents, Yéye and Năinai. His parents, Zhenning and Zheng, left him as an infant to pursue PhDs in Canada, driven by the dream of a better life and financial stability for their future family. This separation, though difficult, was a calculated sacrifice, believing Simu would be better cared for by his grandparents.

Grandparents' nurturing. Simu's childhood in Harbin was filled with love and simple joys, despite their modest living conditions. His Năinai, a former pediatrician, was his primary caretaker, ensuring his health and well-being, while his Yéye, a retired chemistry professor, was his teacher, imparting life lessons and a love for knowledge. They provided an environment of unconditional love, a stark contrast to the later complexities with his parents.

• Yéye taught frugality and good manners.
• Năinai ensured he was always bundled against the cold.
• They instilled the importance of keeping one's word.

Parents' relentless pursuit. Simu's parents, both products of China's legendary "Class of '77" who defied odds to attend university after the Cultural Revolution, were driven by an unyielding ambition. They navigated a long-distance relationship, bureaucratic hurdles, and financial scarcity to secure scholarships in North America, viewing it as a golden land of opportunity. Their decision to have Simu, despite the challenges, was to solidify their family bond, even if it meant leaving him behind temporarily.

2. Parental Expectations and the Erosion of Trust

That day, because of those eight words I couldn’t remember, my trust in my parents shattered.

A new family unit. Upon arriving in Canada at age four, Simu was introduced to a new life with his parents in Kingston. While initially positive, the adjustment to a new family unit proved challenging. His parents, now full-time caregivers, struggled with the demands of parenthood, leading to moments of neglect and a growing emphasis on academic achievement.

• Simu was left alone at daycare, unable to understand English.
• His mother accidentally left him alone at home in winter.
• Parents paid high costs for daycare and rent, increasing financial pressure.

The weight of expectations. As Simu approached first grade, he began to feel the immense weight of his parents' expectations. Their happiness seemed tied to his academic performance, pushing him to excel in math and language. This pressure, coupled with harsh criticism and physical discipline, created a deep fear and resentment in Simu, replacing the unconditional love he felt with his grandparents.

• Parents force-fed sardines to make him smarter.
• He was called "stupid" or "useless" for disobedience.
• His father secretly recorded his mother scolding him.

Shattered trust. A pivotal moment occurred when Simu, after confessing a lie to his father, was locked out of the apartment by his mother, despite his father's promise of confidentiality. This act of betrayal taught Simu that his parents were not to be trusted, and that honesty would not be rewarded. He learned to prioritize keeping them happy at all costs, or risk their wrath, leading to a profound shift in his behavior and a growing emotional distance.

3. Rebellion, Self-Discovery, and the Pursuit of "Cool"

My priorities shifted as my voice deepened and my equipment dropped. More than I wanted to be a genius, or even to make my parents proud, I now wanted to be cool.

The quest for coolness. Entering adolescence, Simu's focus shifted from academic excellence to social acceptance and popularity. He felt like a nerdy outsider, constantly teased and struggling with pop-culture references. This desire to be "cool" led him to rebel against his parents' strict academic regime and their traditional values.

• He wanted to be like Thomas MacDonald, the charming leading man.
• He yearned for the admiration of girls, like Jackie D.
• He felt trapped in a life he no longer wanted.

Clash of values. Simu's parents, anxious about his declining grades and newfound rebelliousness, viewed his interests as "useless" distractions. Their arguments escalated, often ending in physical altercations and verbal abuse, further widening the chasm between them. Simu, in turn, developed a knack for talking back, seeing his parents as antagonists rather than guardians.

• Parents called him a "spoiled brat" and "loser."
• Arguments often ended in slaps to the face.
• He was constantly compared to "good kids" like Amy and Cheryl.

Seeking freedom. The constant conflict at home led Simu to seek freedom and independence. He found solace in extracurricular activities like sports and dance, and eventually, in running away from home for several nights. This period, though turbulent, marked a turning point where Simu realized he needed to break free from his parents' control to find his own happiness and purpose.

• He intentionally missed trains to get home later.
• He stayed with friends for five nights, feeling no homesickness.
• He resolved to become self-sufficient to escape their influence.

4. The Illusion of Conventional Success

I thought it made me smarter than them, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.

A strategic pivot. In his senior year of high school, Simu strategically dropped science courses and focused on English, art, and math, excelling academically. He chose to pursue business and economics in college, not out of passion, but as a pragmatic path to financial independence and distance from his parents. This decision, while seemingly successful, was driven by external validation rather than genuine interest.

• He aimed for a top business school, Western University, for its distance from home.
• He saw economics as a means to make money and escape.
• His parents were proud of his acceptance, momentarily bridging their divide.

The party school facade. Western University, known as a party school, offered Simu the freedom he craved. He embraced student life, joining cultural clubs and the hip-hop dance team, where he found a sense of community and validation. Despite his academic "Superfrosh" success, his commitment to studies plummeted, as he prioritized social activities and performance over learning.

• He won the "Superfrosh" talent competition with flips and singing.
• He joined CAISA, CSA, and VSA, finding comfort in Asian cultural clubs.
• Hip Hop Western became a significant outlet for his passion for dance.

A hollow victory. Simu's academic performance suffered significantly, nearly costing him his spot in the prestigious Ivey School of Business. He resorted to fabricating an injury to gain leniency, a testament to his growing skill in "gaming the system" rather than genuine effort. His summer internship at Weston Bakeries, while providing a glimpse into marketing, reinforced his disinterest in conventional business, yet he still pursued accounting to appease his parents.

• His average dropped to 78.5%, below the 80% Ivey cutoff.
• He wrote a "heart-wrenching essay" about a rolled ankle.
• He aimed for accounting, a "safe career," to satisfy his parents.

5. Rock Bottom: The Catalyst for a New Path

I saw the life I had been working toward for twenty-two years shatter in front of me.

The wrong fit. Simu's accounting job at Deloitte was a profound mismatch for his personality. He, a free-spirited ENFP, found the detail-oriented, structured work excruciatingly boring and felt like an "idiot" whose spreadsheets were riddled with errors. This daily misery led to a deep depression and a questioning of the entire industry's value.

• He found bank reconciliations and payroll runs mind-numbing.
• His brain "wasn't built for detail."
• He constantly questioned the point of counting money for rich people.

A desperate escape. Desperate for a taste of something different, Simu stumbled upon a Craigslist ad for "Asian extras needed for Hollywood film." This seemingly insignificant opportunity, for the blockbuster Pacific Rim, ignited a spark within him. Despite the low pay and freezing conditions, the vibrant energy of the film set felt like a revelation, a stark contrast to the drudgery of his office job.

• He faked illness to take a day off for the film shoot.
• He was spray-painted blue for a monster blood scene.
• He felt more alive on set than in his entire academic and professional life.

The inevitable fall. Simu's lackluster work ethic and unexplained absences at Deloitte eventually led to his termination. This moment, though humiliating, was a profound turning point. The life his parents had envisioned for him, built on years of sacrifice and expectation, shattered. He felt like a "fraud" who had wasted their investment, but also a sense of liberation from a path he loathed.

• He was fired after eight months, having failed his CKE exam.
• His parents had invested over $250,000 in his education.
• He had fronted the down payment for his condo.

6. The Hustle of a Starving Artist

I was a person of color in a pre-Black Panther and Crazy Rich Asians landscape, and I wasn’t anything special in the looks department; my work ethic was my only X factor, my secret sauce.

Embracing the unknown. After being laid off, Simu fully committed to acting, viewing it initially as a "fun side project" to treat his burnout. He relentlessly pursued every opportunity, from independent short films with questionable racial stereotypes to stock photo modeling, driven by a desperate need for validation and a desire to prove himself.

• He played "Yakusa Koto," a stereotypical Japanese mobster, in Bike Cop Begins.
• He modeled for stock photos, appearing on an accounting textbook cover.
• He was scammed by a "casting director" for a fake SAG permit.

First taste of success. Despite numerous embarrassing failures, Simu's persistence paid off. He secured his first legitimate acting gigs: a commercial for a telecommunications company and a speaking role on The CW's Nikita. These early successes, though small, provided the external validation he craved and solidified his decision to pursue acting full-time, abandoning any thought of returning to accounting.

• He booked a Gillette commercial, but messed up the camera direction.
• He gave the "worst audition ever" for a dramatic monologue.
• He made over ten grand in a week and a half from three gigs.

The struggle for survival. The acting world, however, proved financially challenging. Simu joined ACTRA, the Canadian actors' union, but still struggled to make ends meet, often taking on odd jobs to cover his expenses and acting classes. He became a "professional superhero" for kids' birthday parties and a brand ambassador, enduring humiliating experiences to fuel his dream.

• He played Spider-Man for kids' birthday parties, enduring physical assault from a child.
• He danced in flash mobs for bottled yogurt and rugby promotions.
• He was recognized by a former Deloitte coworker while performing a haka.

7. Finding Purpose in Asian Representation

But I realized in talking with Phil and his friends that I had only begun to scratch the surface of what that truly meant. It was more than just being able to see yourself reflected on a screen somewhere—it was about building out our culture through our shared experiences and reflections.

A community of kindness. Simu's journey in Hollywood, initially marked by isolation and self-doubt, transformed through the unexpected generosity of figures like Ken Jeong. Ken's kindness and willingness to connect opened doors for Simu into the Asian American creative community, where he found a sense of belonging and purpose.

• Ken Jeong invited Simu to visit the set of Dr. Ken and offered advice.
• Michelle Sugihara of CAPE connected him to industry networks.
• Jeff Yang introduced him to Randall Park and the set of Fresh Off the Boat.

The power of shared identity. Meeting Philip Wang of Wong Fu Productions was a pivotal moment. Phil articulated the idea of Asianness as a "superpower," inspiring Simu to lean into his cultural identity and contribute to content that authentically represented diasporic Asian experiences. This realization shifted Simu's focus from individual ambition to collective empowerment.

• Phil Wang believed in being Asian as an advantage.
• Simu joined Wong Fu's web series YAPPIE.
• He recognized the common DNA among diverse Asian communities.

Fighting for visibility. Simu became a vocal advocate for Asian representation, recognizing the historical invisibility and erasure of Asian stories in mainstream media. He spoke out against anti-Asian racism, tracing its roots to discriminatory legislation like the Chinese Exclusion Act, and emphasized the need to normalize and celebrate Asian culture.

• He wrote an op-ed for Variety and filmed PSAs.
• He spoke at colleges and corporations about immigrant experiences and cultural pride.
• He highlighted the lack of representation for bubble tea and Korean BBQ in media.

8. Owning Your Dream and Building Your Own Destiny

Owning a dream to me consists of two key components—declaring it to the world, and taking action.

Reconciliation and growth. Simu's acting career, particularly his role in Blood and Water, became an unexpected bridge to reconciling with his parents. Their meticulous coaching for his Mandarin dialogue fostered a new understanding and a hint of pride in his craft, marking the first steps toward healing their fractured relationship. This experience solidified his commitment to acting.

• His parents coached him nightly on his Mandarin lines.
• His father's tone conveyed recognition of his hard work.
• He realized the tide was turning in their relationship.

Multi-hyphenate hustle. Recognizing the limitations of waiting for opportunities, Simu embraced the "multi-hyphenate" approach. He produced his own short films, like Open Gym and Crimson Defender vs. The Slightly Racist Family, learning filmmaking from the ground up. This proactive mindset, inspired by figures like Jared from Machinima, empowered him to create his own work and opportunities.

• He directed and produced his first short film, Open Gym.
• He wrote Crimson Defender to play a superhero, despite its absurd premise.
• He learned the value of swinging for the fences and being the master of his own destiny.

The breakthrough. His relentless work ethic and growing skills led to a breakthrough: a series regular role on Blood and Water, followed by a stunt role on NBC's Heroes, and a lead in the play Banana Boys. These diverse experiences honed his craft, taught him the importance of collaboration, and solidified his belief that he was on the right path, despite the financial struggles and parental disapproval.

• He performed a gainer breakfall stunt on Heroes without prior experience.
• He starred in Banana Boys, a play specifically for Asian Canadian performers.
• He learned to act with nuance and subtext, moving beyond one-dimensional roles.

9. A Date with Destiny: The Unforeseen Path to Stardom

I had no idea that 2019 would mark the moment that my life would be irrevocably changed, forever altering my family’s destiny and catapulting us into a stratosphere we never imagined in our wildest dreams.

The path to Hollywood. Despite his growing success in Canada, Simu knew he needed to venture into the larger Hollywood market. He meticulously built a case for an "alien of extraordinary ability" visa, consolidating press accolades and award nominations. His manager, Chris Lee, initially cautious, became fully committed after seeing Simu's determination and the ammunition he provided.

• He applied for a US O-1 visa, costing thousands of dollars.
• His father initially disapproved, calling his dreams "unrealistic."
• He booked a jam-packed schedule of meetings and auditions in LA.

Near misses and resilience. Simu faced numerous rejections and bureaucratic hurdles in LA, including losing a major role on HBO's Here and Now due to his Kim's Convenience contract and being told he "didn't have that it factor" for Crazy Rich Asians. These setbacks, though heartbreaking, fueled his resolve to perfect his craft and prove his worth.

• He lost a role on Here and Now due to contract conflicts.
• He was rejected for Crazy Rich Asians, being told he lacked the "it factor."
• He used these rejections to motivate himself to be a better actor.

The ultimate breakthrough. The year 2019 brought a cascade of opportunities: a guest-star role on Fresh Off the Boat, a meeting with his hero Jeremy Lin, and finally, the screen test for Kim's Convenience. Despite being cast in NBC's Taken simultaneously, his unique contract allowed him to do both shows, leading to a grueling but ultimately rewarding summer. Kim's Convenience became a global hit, bringing pride to his parents.

• He met Jeremy Lin, a cultural hero for Asian people.
• He was cast as Jung Kim on Kim's Convenience and Faaron on Taken.
• His parents proudly watched Kim's Convenience with friends.

A dream realized. In the fall of 2019, Simu's US visa was approved, and he was ready for Hollywood. His facetious tweet to Marvel a year prior, asking "are we gonna talk or what #ShangChi," became a reality. The call from Kevin Feige, offering him the role of Shang-Chi, was the culmination of years of sacrifice, struggle, and unwavering belief in his impossible dream, transforming him into a global superhero and a symbol of representation.

• He received the call from Kevin Feige offering him the role of Shang-Chi.
• He was announced as Marvel's newest Avenger at San Diego Comic-Con.
• His journey became a testament to defying odds and achieving the impossible.

Last updated: January 26, 2026