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Someday, Someday

Someday, Someday

by Emma Scott 2019 374 pages
4.38
8.3K ratings
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Plot Summary

Streetlights and Rock Bottom

Max's descent and first loss of self

Max Kaufman's story begins on a cold San Francisco street corner, where desperation and addiction have driven him to the edge. Kicked out by his conservative parents for being gay, Max is left with nothing but his hunger for acceptance and the numbing escape of drugs. The night he lets go of the lamppost—literally and figuratively—marks his rock bottom, as he sells himself for the first time. This moment of surrender is both a loss and a beginning, setting the stage for his long, painful climb back to self-worth. The memory of that night haunts him, but it also becomes the foundation for his future resilience and empathy, shaping the man he will become.

Cold Showers, Warm Hearts

Silas's discipline and hidden pain

Silas Marsh, heir to a pharmaceutical empire, lives a life of rigid control and cold discipline. Haunted by a brutal conversion therapy experience in Alaska, he's learned to suppress every feeling, every desire, especially those that make him "defective" in his father's eyes. His days are measured, his emotions locked in a vault, and his relationships—especially with his autistic brother Eddie—are defined by duty and protection. Yet beneath the surface, Silas aches for connection and warmth. His cold showers are both literal and symbolic, a way to punish and purify himself, but they cannot extinguish the longing for something real, something that might finally thaw his frozen heart.

The Unabomber in the Back

First encounters and wary attraction

Max and Silas's paths cross at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in Seattle. Max, newly returned to his hometown, shares his story with raw honesty, while Silas—hiding behind sunglasses and a hoodie—sits in the back, both drawn to and terrified by the vulnerability on display. Their mutual recognition is immediate, though neither knows the other's name. Silas's presence is magnetic, and Max can't help but notice the pain and strength in the stranger's posture. Their brief, charged interaction plants the seed of something more, a possibility neither man dares to hope for, but both desperately need.

A Tyrant's House of Glass

Max's new job and old wounds

Max is hired as a private nurse for Edward Marsh, Silas's domineering and ailing father. The Marsh estate is a fortress of secrets, ruled by a man whose cruelty has shaped both his sons. Max's professionalism is tested by Edward's veiled homophobia and the suffocating atmosphere of the house. Meanwhile, Silas is forced to confront his own trauma as he watches Max interact with Eddie, the only family member he truly loves. The house becomes a crucible, exposing old wounds and forging new connections, as Max and Silas are thrown together by fate and necessity.

Piano Keys and Broken Boys

Music as solace and silent confession

Music is Silas's only refuge, a language he shares with Eddie and, unexpectedly, with Max. Their Saturday piano lessons become a sanctuary, a place where words are unnecessary and emotions can flow freely. Through music, Silas reveals parts of himself he's never shown anyone, and Max responds with empathy and admiration. The piano becomes a bridge between their broken pasts and the possibility of healing. In these moments, the ice around Silas's heart begins to crack, and Max finds hope that love might be possible, even for men as damaged as they are.

The Weight of Wanting

Desire, shame, and the cost of hiding

As their friendship deepens, so does the tension between Max and Silas. Both men are haunted by shame—Max by his past on the streets, Silas by the violence of his "reprogramming." Their attraction is undeniable, but the risks are enormous. Silas's father watches everything, and the threat of exposure looms. When desire finally erupts between them, it is both ecstatic and terrifying, a collision of longing and fear. Each touch is a battle against the voices that tell them they are unworthy, and every moment together is shadowed by the cost of silence.

Addicts, Heirs, and Secrets

Corporate rot and personal responsibility

Silas uncovers the devastating truth about Marsh Pharma's role in the opioid crisis. The company's profits are built on addiction and suffering, and the weight of this knowledge threatens to crush him. Max, with his experience in recovery, becomes Silas's confidant and moral compass. Together, they grapple with questions of guilt, redemption, and the possibility of change. Silas's struggle to do the right thing is mirrored by his struggle to accept love, and Max's support becomes both a lifeline and a challenge to his carefully constructed defenses.

Family Dinners and Forgiveness

Attempts at reconciliation and the limits of love

Max's efforts to reconnect with his estranged family are fraught with pain and disappointment. His mother's attempts at understanding are clumsy, and his father remains distant. The promise of a Thanksgiving dinner is both a hope and a test, as Max wonders if true forgiveness is possible. Meanwhile, Silas faces his own family's expectations, torn between loyalty to his brother and the need to break free from his father's control. Both men must decide how much of themselves they are willing to risk for the chance at belonging.

The Vault and the Storm

Trauma, relapse, and the fight for self

The ghosts of the past are never far. Silas's nightmares and Max's memories of the street threaten to pull them under. When Silas relapses into old patterns—drinking, withdrawing, pushing Max away—their fragile connection is tested. Max, drawing on his own experience with addiction, refuses to give up on Silas, but he cannot save him alone. The storm of trauma and shame threatens to destroy everything they've built, unless Silas can find the strength to fight for himself and for the man he loves.

Outed in the Rain

Public exposure and private courage

A tabloid photo of Max and Silas together brings their secret into the open, forcing a reckoning neither can avoid. At a lavish Halloween party, EddieSilas's brother—outs him in front of the entire world. The moment is both humiliating and liberating, as Silas finally claims his truth. The fallout is immediate: Max is fired, Silas is disowned, and the future is uncertain. Yet in the aftermath, both men discover a new kind of freedom, one that comes from refusing to hide, no matter the cost.

The Cost of Silence

Sacrifice, separation, and the price of truth

In the wake of their public outing, Max and Silas are forced apart. Max returns to his family, seeking solace and a sense of home, while Silas battles to reclaim his company and his integrity. The pain of separation is acute, but it also becomes a crucible for growth. Both men must confront the lies they've told themselves and each other, and decide what they are willing to sacrifice for love. The cost of silence is high, but the price of truth may be even greater.

The Party and the Truth

Redemption, confrontation, and the power of choice

Silas confronts his father with evidence of corporate wrongdoing and the truth of his own identity. In a moment of unprecedented courage, he chooses love over legacy, risking everything to do what is right. Max, too, faces his family, demanding honesty and real connection. The party that began as a charade becomes a turning point, as both men claim their place in the world—not as victims, but as survivors and agents of change. The truth, once spoken, cannot be unspoken, and it sets them free.

Aftermaths and New Beginnings

Rebuilding, healing, and the slow work of hope

With the company reformed and their families on the path to reconciliation, Max and Silas begin to build a life together. The process is slow and sometimes painful, but it is also filled with moments of joy and discovery. Eddie finds his own place in the world, and Max's family learns to accept him for who he is. The wounds of the past do not disappear, but they become part of a larger story—a story of survival, resilience, and the possibility of happiness.

Healing, Hope, and Home

Choosing love and building a future

Max and Silas's journey culminates in a wedding surrounded by friends and family. The ceremony is both a celebration and a testament to the power of love to heal even the deepest wounds. Together, they create a home that is open, honest, and filled with music and laughter. The future is uncertain, but they face it together, armed with the knowledge that they are stronger for having survived. Their love is not perfect, but it is real, and it is enough.

The Colors of Love

A life reclaimed and a love that endures

In the end, Max and Silas find not just each other, but themselves. The colors of their lives, once muted by pain and fear, are now vibrant and full. They have learned that love is not a cure-all, but it is a force powerful enough to change everything. Their story is one of redemption, not just for themselves, but for everyone who has ever been told they are unworthy. In choosing each other, they choose hope, and in choosing hope, they choose life.

Characters

Max Kaufman

Resilient survivor, healer, and seeker of love

Max is the emotional heart of the story—a man who has survived the worst life can offer and emerged with his empathy and hope intact. Kicked out by his parents for being gay, he endures homelessness, addiction, and the loss of his first love, but never loses his capacity for kindness. As a nurse and NA sponsor, Max is both caretaker and advocate, using his pain to help others. His relationship with Silas is transformative, challenging him to risk vulnerability again. Max's journey is one of self-forgiveness and the reclamation of family, both chosen and biological. His greatest strength is his refusal to give up on love, even when it means risking his heart one more time.

Silas Marsh

Disciplined heir, wounded soul, and reluctant hero

Silas is a study in contrasts: outwardly powerful, inwardly broken. Raised in a world of privilege but subjected to brutal conversion therapy, he has learned to suppress every feeling that might make him "weak." His relationship with his autistic brother Eddie is the one place he allows himself tenderness. Meeting Max forces Silas to confront the lies he's been told and the ones he tells himself. His journey is one of thawing, as he learns to accept love and to fight for what is right, both in his personal life and as the head of Marsh Pharma. Silas's development is marked by moments of courage—coming out, confronting his father, and choosing Max over legacy. His healing is ongoing, but his willingness to try is his greatest victory.

Edward Marsh

Tyrannical patriarch, architect of pain, and agent of change

Edward is the embodiment of old-world power and toxic masculinity. His need for control and legacy drives him to inflict deep wounds on his sons, especially Silas. His refusal to accept difference is both a personal failing and a symbol of broader societal prejudice. Yet, Edward is not a caricature; his own grief and fear shape his actions. Over time, he is forced to confront the consequences of his choices—both in his family and his company. His eventual, if imperfect, attempts at redemption are hard-won and incomplete, but they open the door for healing.

Eddie Marsh

Gentle soul, autistic truth-teller, and unexpected catalyst

Eddie is Silas's older brother, diagnosed with Asperger's, and the original heir to the Marsh legacy. His unique perspective and honesty cut through the family's web of secrets. Eddie's love for music and literature, especially Dickens, is a source of comfort and connection. His outburst at the Halloween party is a pivotal moment, forcing Silas to claim his truth. Eddie's journey toward independence and self-acceptance mirrors the larger themes of the novel, and his happiness becomes a touchstone for both Max and Silas.

Faith Benson

Clever accomplice, friend, and mirror of compromise

Faith is Silas's fiancée in name only—a business arrangement designed to satisfy Edward's demands. Witty, self-aware, and unapologetically herself, Faith provides comic relief and sharp insight. Her friendship with Silas is genuine, and her willingness to step aside when he finds real love is an act of grace. Faith's presence highlights the ways people compromise themselves for survival, and her eventual pursuit of her own happiness is a quiet victory.

Daniel Torres

Loyal friend, chosen family, and source of wisdom

Daniel is Max's high school friend and roommate, a steady presence throughout the story. His own journey as a gay man parallels Max's, and his support is unwavering. Daniel's humor and perspective help Max navigate the complexities of love and family. He represents the importance of chosen family and the power of friendship to heal old wounds.

Stephen Milton

Corporate villain, embodiment of greed, and cautionary tale

Milton is the head of Marsh Pharma's marketing department, responsible for the aggressive tactics that fuel the opioid crisis. His willingness to sacrifice lives for profit is a stark contrast to Silas's growing conscience. Milton's eventual downfall is both a plot necessity and a moral reckoning, underscoring the novel's critique of unchecked capitalism.

Barbara Kaufman

Estranged mother, bridge-builder, and symbol of imperfect love

Barbara is Max's mother, caught between loyalty to her husband and love for her son. Her attempts at reconciliation are awkward but sincere, and her journey mirrors that of many parents struggling to accept their children's differences. Barbara's growth is slow, but her willingness to try is a testament to the possibility of change, even late in life.

Rachel and Morris Kaufman

Siblings, witnesses, and agents of reconciliation

Max's older sister and brother are initially distant, products of a family fractured by prejudice and silence. Over time, they become allies in his quest for acceptance, helping to bridge the gap between Max and their parents. Their presence at key moments—family dinners, holidays, the wedding—signals the slow, painful work of rebuilding trust and belonging.

Darlene Montgomery

Best friend, survivor, and voice of hope

Darlene is Max's sponsor and confidante, a woman who has fought her own battles with addiction and come out stronger. Her fierce loyalty and humor provide Max with the support he needs to keep going. Darlene's presence is a reminder that healing is possible, and that love—romantic or platonic—is always worth fighting for.

Plot Devices

Dual Narratives and Mirrored Trauma

Parallel journeys of healing and self-acceptance

The novel employs a dual narrative structure, alternating between Max and Silas's perspectives. This device allows readers to experience the story's emotional arc from both sides, highlighting the ways their traumas mirror and diverge. The use of flashbacks—Max's time on the streets, Silas's ordeal in Alaska—serves to deepen our understanding of their present struggles. The mirrored structure reinforces the theme that healing is not linear, and that love is both a risk and a reward.

Music as Metaphor and Bridge

Piano lessons as emotional language and connection

Music, especially the piano, is a recurring motif that symbolizes both pain and possibility. For Silas, music is a language he cannot speak elsewhere, a way to express what words cannot. The piano lessons with Max and Eddie become a safe space, a place where vulnerability is allowed and even celebrated. Music bridges the gap between past and present, self and other, and ultimately becomes a metaphor for the harmony they find together.

The House as Symbol

Physical spaces reflecting internal states

The Marsh estate is more than a setting; it is a symbol of the family's dysfunction and the legacy of pain. Its grandeur and coldness mirror Silas's emotional state, while the locked rooms and hidden corners represent secrets and shame. The transformation of the house—from a place of exile to a site of confrontation and, finally, to a home—parallels the characters' journeys toward healing.

Public Exposure and Private Truth

Outing, scandal, and the cost of honesty

The use of tabloid photos, public parties, and family gatherings as sites of revelation underscores the tension between private truth and public perception. The moment of being outed—by Eddie, by the press, by themselves—is both a crisis and a liberation. The novel explores the cost of silence and the price of honesty, asking what we are willing to risk for the chance to be seen and loved as we are.

Redemption Arcs and Cycles of Forgiveness

Breaking generational patterns and choosing hope

Both Max and Silas are caught in cycles of rejection and shame, perpetuated by their fathers and by society. The plot is driven by their attempts to break these cycles—through confrontation, forgiveness, and the creation of new families. The redemption of Edward Marsh, though incomplete, is mirrored by Max's reconciliation with his own parents. The novel suggests that while the past cannot be erased, the future is always open to change.

Analysis

Someday, Someday is a powerful exploration of trauma, resilience, and the transformative power of love. At its core, the novel is about two men who have been told, in different ways, that they are unworthy—of love, of family, of happiness. Through their parallel journeys, Emma Scott interrogates the lasting damage of homophobia, addiction, and familial rejection, while also offering a vision of hope and healing. The book does not shy away from the realities of pain—conversion therapy, homelessness, the opioid crisis—but it insists that survival is possible, and that love, though not a cure-all, is a force for change. The relationship between Max and Silas is both a romance and a reclamation, a testament to the courage it takes to be seen and to see another fully. The novel's message is clear: the past may shape us, but it does not define us, and the choice to love—ourselves and others—is the most radical act of all.

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Review Summary

4.38 out of 5
Average of 8.3K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Someday, Someday is a powerful and emotional M/M romance that tackles important issues like homophobia, addiction, and acceptance. Readers praise Emma Scott's beautiful writing and complex characters, particularly Max and Silas, who overcome painful pasts to find love. The story is described as heartbreaking yet hopeful, with many considering it Scott's best work. Themes of family, forgiveness, and self-discovery resonate strongly. While some found parts difficult to read, most reviewers were deeply moved and gave the book 5 stars.

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About the Author

Emma Scott is a USA Today and Wall St. Journal bestselling author known for emotional, character-driven romances. Her books have been translated into seven languages and featured in major publications. Scott's first MM romance, Someday, Someday, won the Utopia Con Award for LGBTQ Book of the Year. She specializes in stories where art and love intertwine to heal, always ensuring love triumphs. Scott's works appeal to readers who enjoy emotionally-charged narratives with diverse characters and heroes who treat their partners with respect. Her recent releases include The Muse, Between Hello & Goodbye, and The Sinner, all available on Kindle Unlimited.

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