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Our Dark Winter Wish

Our Dark Winter Wish

by M.J. Lawrie 2024 108 pages
4.07
332 ratings
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Plot Summary

Winter Sanctuary, Haunted Hearts

A magical cottage, a fractured peace

Deep in an ancient, snow-laden forest, four broken souls—Pixie, Archie, Dorian, and Shaw—find refuge in a living cottage shaped by earth magic. The home, rebuilt from the ruins of Archie's ancestral pack, is a haven of warmth, decorated with holly, berries, and the scent of chestnuts. Yet, beneath the comfort, trauma lingers. Pixie, the earth goddess, and her three lovers—wolf-shifter Archie, death-god Dorian, and dream-walker Shaw—struggle to heal from violence, betrayal, and loss. Their love is fierce, their bonds unconventional, and their desires dark, but together they create a fragile sanctuary, determined to reclaim joy in the heart of winter.

Shadows in the Snow

Desire, duty, and uneasy peace

While Archie and Pixie indulge in passionate intimacy, Dorian and Shaw trudge through the snow, gathering magical caterpillars for a solstice ritual. Their banter masks deeper wounds: Dorian, once a collector of souls, now feels the ache of lost power and the pull of his connection to Pixie. Shaw, haunted by his own violence, is wary of Pixie's request to confront her trauma through exposure. The men's camaraderie is laced with protectiveness and guilt, each wrestling with the darkness of their pasts as they prepare for a Christmas celebration that is both a tradition and a hope for healing.

Nightmares and Old Wounds

Trauma resurfaces, reality blurs

Pixie's sleep is shattered by a nightmare that bleeds into reality—her abuser Cole returns, inflicting pain as her mother's ghost laughs. Shaw's dream-walking powers, uncontrolled in his drunken sleep, make the nightmare real, leaving Pixie physically wounded and the house soaked in blood. The men are helpless witnesses, unable to touch the specters of the past. Shaw, wracked with guilt, flees into the snow, pursued by Pixie, who refuses to let him drown in shame. Their pain is shared, their healing incomplete, but their love is a lifeline in the storm.

Healing in the Cold

Forgiveness, vulnerability, and fierce love

In the snow, Pixie finds Shaw, broken and afraid of the monster within. She offers him unconditional love, insisting they share their nightmares and pain. Their intimacy is raw, a blend of comfort and desire, as they make love in the freezing air, reclaiming their bodies and memories from the grip of trauma. Shaw's shame is met with Pixie's strength; together, they promise to heal, not alone, but as a family. The cold becomes a crucible, forging a deeper bond between them.

Ice, Laughter, and Longing

New traditions, old regrets

The group ventures onto a frozen pond, teaching Pixie to ice skate with makeshift bone skates. Laughter and clumsy falls break the tension, and the act of skating becomes a metaphor for trust and balance in their relationship. Shaw, who can only connect to Pixie through dreams, feels the sting of jealousy at the unique bonds she shares with Archie and Dorian. Yet, Pixie reassures him: in dreams, he has a part of her no one else can touch. Their joy is tinged with the knowledge that healing is ongoing, and the past is never far behind.

Solitude and Shadows

Boundaries, obsession, and confessions

Seeking solitude, Pixie escapes into the forest, only to discover Dorian has been secretly shadowing her, unable to bear the thought of losing her again. His confession is both a threat and a plea—without her, he would become a monster once more. Instead of anger, Pixie feels honored by his devotion, accepting his darkness as part of their shared burden. Their playful snowball fight and passionate flight through the sky reaffirm their connection, even as Dorian's possessiveness hints at the dangers of loving a god of death.

Panic and Pack Bonds

Old fears, new family

Archie, left alone while preparing the Christmas turkey, is ambushed by memories of his abuser Sinthia, triggering a panic attack. Shaw finds him and grounds him with humor and affection, reminding Archie that he is no longer alone. The group's bonds are tested by jealousy and the lingering effects of trauma, but their shared laughter and playful snowball fights restore a sense of belonging. Even in moments of panic, the pack holds together, each member essential to the others' survival.

Christmas Eve Traditions

Rituals, memories, and bittersweet joy

The cottage is filled with warmth as the group prepares for Christmas. They decorate a tree with glowing caterpillar garlands, a tradition from Archie's lost pack, and exchange gifts that symbolize protection, love, and belonging. Archie gives Pixie a wolf fang necklace, Dorian crafts a hidden dagger hairclip, and Shaw offers a hand-drawn family portrait. Pixie, in turn, proposes marriage to Shaw, binding him to her with a magical ring. Their vows are unconventional but deeply meaningful, affirming their commitment to one another as chosen family.

Gifts, Vows, and Family

Promises, unity, and hope

The exchange of gifts cements the group's unity. Shaw and Pixie's magical marriage allows him to share her earth magic and pain, giving him a unique connection to her. Archie and Dorian receive wedding bands, making them "official side pieces" in Pixie's words. The group's laughter and teasing mask the depth of their devotion. For the first time, Pixie feels truly at home, surrounded by those who love her not despite her darkness, but because of it. Their family is forged in blood, magic, and mutual acceptance.

Blood on the Snow

Violence returns, love endures

Their Christmas feast is interrupted by an attack from a group of earth witches seeking to capture Pixie. The cottage becomes a battleground, blood and bodies staining the snow. Even as they fight, the group's dark desires and playful banter persist—chestnuts become a symbol of fertility and pack tradition, and their lovemaking is interwoven with violence and trust. The aftermath is messy, but their unity is unbroken. The threat from the outside world is a reminder that peace is always temporary for those marked by power and trauma.

The Queen's Threat

A new enemy, old loyalties

The attackers reveal that a powerful queen from the West—Lilith, Dorian's long-lost wife—has learned of Pixie's existence and seeks to claim her. The revelation shakes the group, especially Dorian, whose loyalty is questioned. Lilith, a shadow master more powerful than Dorian, commands an army of souls and poses a threat none of them can ignore. The group is forced to abandon their home, realizing that safety is an illusion and that their love will be tested by forces beyond their control.

Flight from Home

Exile, uncertainty, and resolve

The group flees their cottage, packing their few belongings and leaving behind the sanctuary they built together. Pixie is heartbroken but determined, understanding that home is not a place but the people she loves. Dorian is tormented by the return of Lilith, torn between past and present loves. Shaw and Archie are resolute, vowing to protect Pixie at any cost. As they sail into the unknown, the group clings to hope, trusting that their bond will endure whatever trials await.

Love's Unbreakable Chains

Endings, beginnings, and eternal vows

On the ship, Pixie and Dorian share a quiet moment, reflecting on the joy and pain of their time together. Despite the looming threat of Lilith and the uncertainty of the future, they reaffirm their love and commitment. Pixie's faith in their ability to reclaim peace is unwavering—if they must fight for happiness, they will do so together. Their story is one of survival, resilience, and the transformative power of love, even in the darkest winter.

Characters

Pixie (Ashe)

Earth goddess, survivor, heart of the family

Pixie is the emotional and magical center of the group—a former blood witch, now an earth goddess, whose power is matched only by her capacity for forgiveness. Traumatized by abuse, betrayal, and forced resurrection, she is determined to reclaim her body, mind, and agency. Her relationships with Archie (mate bond), Dorian (soul link), and Shaw (dream connection and magical marriage) are complex, blending love, desire, and healing. Pixie's journey is one of reclaiming power, setting boundaries, and forging a family from the broken pieces of her past. Her resilience and willingness to confront pain make her both vulnerable and formidable.

Archie

Wolf-shifter, protector, bearer of old wounds

Archie is the last of his pack, haunted by the massacre of his family and the abuse of Sinthia. His wolf nature makes him fiercely loyal and possessive, especially of Pixie, whom he adores as his mate. Archie's humor and warmth mask deep insecurities and a fear of abandonment. He struggles with panic attacks and the trauma of loss, but finds healing in the rituals and traditions of his lost pack, which he shares with his new family. Archie's journey is about learning to trust, to let go of guilt, and to accept love without fear.

Dorian

Death god, shadow master, obsessive lover

Once a collector of souls, Dorian is a being of immense power and darkness, now tempered by his love for Pixie. His connection to her is both spiritual and physical, and his possessiveness borders on obsession. Dorian's past is marked by servitude, violence, and the loss of his wife Lilith, whose return threatens his newfound peace. He struggles with the fear of losing Pixie and the temptation to revert to his monstrous nature. Dorian's arc is one of vulnerability—learning to accept love, to share his shadows, and to fight for a future he never thought possible.

Shaw

Dream-walker, haunted by violence, seeking redemption

Shaw's power to enter and manipulate dreams is both a gift and a curse. He is tormented by the memories of the pain he inflicted as an executioner and by the nightmares that bleed into reality. Shaw's relationship with Pixie is marked by guilt and longing—he is the only one without a magical bond to her, which fuels his jealousy and insecurity. Yet, his love is steadfast, and his willingness to share pain and healing with Pixie is a testament to his growth. Shaw's journey is about forgiveness—of himself and others—and the search for belonging.

Sinthia

Archie's abuser, ghost of the past

Sinthia is a specter who haunts Archie's memories, embodying the trauma and violence that shaped him. Her presence triggers panic attacks and threatens the stability of the group. Though dead, her influence lingers, a reminder that healing is an ongoing process and that the past can never be fully escaped.

Cole

Pixie's abuser, nightmare incarnate

Cole is the source of Pixie's deepest trauma, appearing in nightmares that blur the line between memory and reality. His violence and manipulation haunt Pixie, making her struggle to reclaim her body and trust. Cole's legacy is one of pain, but also of resilience, as Pixie learns to confront and overcome his hold on her.

Neve

Pixie's mother, blood witch, symbol of betrayal

Neve's execution and the forced resurrection spell are central to Pixie's trauma. Her ghost appears in nightmares, representing the cycle of violence and the burden of legacy. Neve's actions set the stage for Pixie's journey, making her both a victim and a survivor.

Poppy

Pixie's familiar, spiritual guide, symbol of connection

Poppy, a deadly snake, is both protector and companion to Pixie. She represents the link to ancient magic and the natural world, offering comfort and strength. Poppy's presence is a reminder that healing comes from both within and without, and that even the most dangerous creatures can be allies.

Lilith

Shadow queen, Dorian's wife, looming threat

Lilith is a powerful shadow master, once Dorian's beloved, now a potential enemy. Her return from death and her pursuit of Pixie threaten the group's fragile peace. Lilith embodies the dangers of unchecked power and the complexities of love and loyalty.

The Pack (Archie's family, lost)

Symbol of belonging, source of grief

Though dead, Archie's pack represents the longing for family and the pain of loss. Their traditions and memories shape the group's rituals and offer a blueprint for building a new kind of family from the ashes of the old.

Plot Devices

Interwoven Trauma and Healing

Shared pain, mutual healing, and the power of chosen family

The narrative is structured around the characters' attempts to heal from past trauma through love, ritual, and shared vulnerability. Nightmares, flashbacks, and panic attacks are not just obstacles but catalysts for deeper connection. The use of magical bonds—mate, soul, dream, and marriage—serves as both plot device and metaphor for the ways in which love can both wound and heal. The cottage itself, alive and responsive to Pixie's emotions, is a physical manifestation of the group's collective psyche.

Ritual and Tradition

Old customs, new meanings, and the creation of home

The solstice and Christmas rituals—decorating the tree, exchanging gifts, sharing meals—are used to reclaim joy and create new memories. These traditions, borrowed from Archie's lost pack and adapted by the group, serve as anchors in a world of uncertainty. The chestnut ritual, in particular, blends humor, desire, and hope for the future, symbolizing the group's willingness to embrace both the light and the dark.

Foreshadowing and Threat

Peace is temporary, danger always returns

The narrative is punctuated by moments of foreshadowing—the nightmares, the appearance of enemies, the revelation of Lilith's pursuit. These elements remind the reader that safety is fleeting and that the past is never truly gone. The arrival of the earth witches and the mention of Lilith set the stage for future conflict, ensuring that the story's resolution is provisional, not final.

Multiple Perspectives

Shifting viewpoints, deepening empathy

The story is told through the alternating perspectives of Pixie, Archie, Dorian, and Shaw, allowing the reader to experience the emotional landscape of each character. This structure deepens the psychological complexity of the narrative, highlighting the ways in which love, trauma, and healing are experienced differently by each member of the group.

Analysis

A dark, erotic meditation on trauma, healing, and chosen family

"Our Dark Winter Wish" reimagines the holiday novella as a crucible for broken souls seeking redemption and belonging. Lawrie's narrative is unapologetically sensual, blending explicit desire with the rawness of psychological pain. The cottage, alive with earth magic, becomes a metaphor for the group's collective healing—its walls bloom with joy and bristle with thorns in anger or fear. The story's power lies in its refusal to offer easy answers: love is not a cure, but a process of mutual acceptance, vulnerability, and fierce protection. The rituals and traditions, both old and invented, are acts of reclamation, transforming trauma into connection. The looming threat of Lilith and the group's flight from their sanctuary underscore the fragility of peace and the necessity of resilience. Ultimately, the novella is a celebration of found family, the courage to confront darkness, and the hope that, even in the bleakest winter, love can create a home.

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Review Summary

4.07 out of 5
Average of 332 ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Our Dark Winter Wish is a dark, spicy Christmas novella featuring Ashe and her men healing from trauma on an island. Readers loved Archie's festive traditions, intense emotional moments, and extremely high-heat scenes—particularly involving chestnuts. The gift-giving scene was deeply moving. Most praised the depth packed into 108 pages and the character dynamics. However, the cliffhanger ending revealing a new threat divided readers—some excited for more books, others concerned about quality decline. Overall rated 4.07/5, it's recommended only after reading the series' first two books.

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About the Author

M.J. Lawrie is a former film student who began writing her debut series, The Last Witch, during her first baby's nap times to escape household boredom and pursue her lifelong dream. She combines fantasy, dark romance, and thriller elements with her unusual imagination to create morally complex characters readers both love and hate. Known for her ability to weave depth, darkness, and shocking moments into her stories, she has built a devoted following. The Crimson Covenant series showcases her talent for creating intense, emotionally charged narratives. She connects with readers through her Facebook page.

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