Networking Is a Contact Sport

1. Networking is about giving, not getting

Networking is not about figuring out how to use business contacts for your personal gain.

Reframe your mindset. Approach networking as an opportunity to offer value to others without expecting immediate reciprocation. This mindset shift transforms networking from a self-serving activity into a mutually beneficial exchange. By focusing on how you can help others, you naturally build stronger, more authentic relationships.

Practice generosity. Look for ways to assist your contacts:

• Share relevant information or resources
• Make introductions to valuable connections
• Offer your expertise or skills
• Provide emotional support or encouragement

By consistently giving, you create a positive reputation and foster goodwill. This approach ultimately leads to more opportunities and stronger relationships in the long run.

2. The 5/10/15 program: A structured approach to networking

If you faithfully incorporate this plan of action, you'll see your networking efforts propel into the stratosphere.

Daily networking targets. The 5/10/15 program provides a concrete framework for consistent networking:

• 5: Have five meetings or encounters
• 10: Send ten pieces of correspondence (letters, emails, etc.)
• 15: Make fifteen phone calls

Track your progress. Use a simple spreadsheet or notebook to monitor your daily networking activities. This accountability helps ensure you maintain a steady pace of outreach and relationship-building.

Quality over quantity. While the numbers provide structure, focus on meaningful interactions. A thoughtful, personalized note or a productive meeting is more valuable than superficial outreach. Tailor your approach to each contact, considering their interests and potential ways you can add value to their lives or work.

3. Develop wingmen: Your personal board of directors

A wingman is someone who'll fly by your side, prepared to watch your flank and see things that you don't see.

Identify potential wingmen. Look for trusted individuals who:

• Have complementary skills or experiences
• Offer honest feedback and support
• Share your values and goals
• Are willing to commit to a mutual support relationship

Cultivate wingman relationships. Nurture these connections through:

• Regular check-ins (weekly or monthly)
• Open and vulnerable communication
• Offering support and accountability
• Celebrating each other's successes

Leverage collective wisdom. Your wingmen serve as a personal advisory board, providing diverse perspectives and insights. Consult them for major decisions, brainstorming sessions, and navigating challenges in your personal and professional life.

4. Leverage your passions to expand your network

What's your passion? What do you like to do when you're not working? You can turn that passion into a great way to network if you want.

Identify your interests. Make a list of your hobbies, causes you care about, and activities you enjoy. These areas of passion provide natural networking opportunities with like-minded individuals.

Engage in passion-driven networking. Examples:

• Join clubs or organizations related to your interests
• Volunteer for causes you support
• Attend or organize events centered around your passions
• Share your expertise through teaching or mentoring

Create value through shared interests. By connecting through mutual passions, you build more authentic relationships. These connections often lead to unexpected opportunities and collaborations that extend beyond your initial shared interest.

5. Set big, wild, audacious goals (BWAGs) to drive networking efforts

When it comes to networking, it never hurts to have a BWAG in life—a Big, Wild, Audacious Goal.

Define your BWAG. Identify an ambitious, inspirational goal that pushes you beyond your comfort zone. This goal should excite and motivate you, providing a clear direction for your networking efforts.

Align networking with your BWAG. Strategically focus your networking activities to support your goal:

• Identify key individuals or organizations that can help you achieve your BWAG
• Attend events or join groups related to your goal
• Seek mentors or advisors with relevant experience
• Share your BWAG with your network to attract support and opportunities

Embrace the journey. Recognize that pursuing a BWAG is as valuable as achieving it. The process of working towards your goal will naturally expand your network and open up unexpected possibilities.

6. Navigate gender differences in networking styles

Men and women have fundamentally different networking styles.

Understand communication differences. Generally:

• Men tend to focus on exchanging information and establishing status
• Women often prioritize building rapport and connections

Adapt your approach. When networking with the opposite gender:

• Men: Focus more on building rapport before diving into business
• Women: Be more direct in stating your goals and asking for what you need

Leverage strengths. Both styles have value:

• Men can learn from women's relationship-building skills
• Women can adopt men's directness in pursuing opportunities

Create inclusive environments. When organizing networking events or leading teams, ensure a balance that allows both styles to thrive. Encourage a mix of activities that cater to different networking preferences.

7. Balance online and offline networking in the digital age

Being virtually connected and personally connected are two entirely different things.

Leverage digital tools. Use social media and online platforms to:

• Research potential contacts
• Maintain loose connections with a wider network
• Share valuable content and insights

Prioritize in-person connections. Whenever possible, move online relationships offline:

• Schedule face-to-face meetings or video calls
• Attend industry events and conferences
• Organize or join local meetups

Quality over quantity. Focus on building meaningful relationships rather than accumulating a large number of superficial online connections. Invest time in nurturing key relationships through personalized communication and in-person interactions.

8. Master networkers create value through connections

I measure whether someone is a master networker not by the quality or quantity of their network but by what they've accomplished with and for others.

Cultivate a giving mindset. Master networkers consistently look for ways to add value to their connections' lives and work. They act as connectors, problem-solvers, and supporters.

Build diverse relationships. Expand your network across various industries, backgrounds, and levels of seniority. This diversity allows you to create unique value by bridging different worlds and perspectives.

Think long-term. Focus on building lasting relationships rather than seeking immediate gains. Master networkers understand that the true power of networking manifests over time through trust, mutual support, and collaborative opportunities.

Stay passionate and curious. Maintain genuine enthusiasm for meeting new people and learning about their work and lives. This authenticity and interest in others naturally attracts opportunities and fosters strong connections.

Last updated: August 21, 2025