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Losing It

Losing It

by Cora Carmack 2012 189 pages
3.71
109.5K ratings
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Plot Summary

The Virgin's Dilemma

Bliss's anxiety over her virginity

Bliss Edwards, a 22-year-old college senior, is plagued by the fact that she's still a virgin. Her best friend Kelsey, brash and confident, is determined to help her "lose it" before graduation. Bliss's internal monologue is a swirl of self-doubt, societal pressure, and a desperate desire to be "normal." She's caught between wanting to shed her virginity and her deep-seated need for control and certainty. Kelsey's plan is simple: go out, find a guy, and get it over with. But for Bliss, sex isn't just a box to check—it's a leap into the unknown, and she's terrified of what she might find on the other side. The night begins with nerves, tequila, and a sense that everything is about to change.

Shakespeare in a Bar

A chance encounter with Garrick

At the bar, Bliss's attempts to find a suitable one-night stand are a disaster—until she stumbles upon a British guy reading Shakespeare alone. Garrick Taylor is charming, witty, and devastatingly attractive, with a British accent that makes Bliss's insides melt. Their banter is electric, full of literary references and flirtatious undertones. For the first time, Bliss feels a genuine spark, a connection that's both intellectual and physical. Garrick's confidence and warmth draw her in, and she finds herself wanting more than just a quick fix to her virginity problem. The night takes a turn as they leave together, the air thick with anticipation and possibility.

A Night of Almosts

Desire, panic, and retreat

Bliss and Garrick's chemistry intensifies as they return to her apartment. The night is a blur of heated kisses, nervous laughter, and the slow unraveling of Bliss's defenses. But as things escalate, panic sets in. Overwhelmed by fear and self-doubt, Bliss blurts out a ridiculous excuse about needing to take care of her nonexistent cat and flees the scene, leaving Garrick naked and confused in her apartment. The aftermath is a cocktail of embarrassment, regret, and longing. Bliss's virginity remains intact, but her world has been irrevocably shaken by the man she can't stop thinking about.

The Cat Excuse

Consequences and awkward reunions

The next morning, Bliss tries to downplay the disaster to Kelsey, lying about her night with Garrick. She's determined to move on, but fate has other plans. On the first day of her final semester, Bliss walks into her acting class to discover that her new professor is none other than Garrick. The shock is mutual, and the tension between them is palpable. Both agree to pretend nothing happened, but the secret simmers beneath the surface, threatening to boil over at any moment. Bliss's invented cat, Hamlet, becomes a symbol of her tangled web of lies and anxieties.

Teacher, Stranger, Lover

Forbidden attraction and professional boundaries

As the semester unfolds, Bliss and Garrick struggle to maintain a professional relationship. Their mutual attraction is undeniable, but the stakes are higher now—Garrick's job and Bliss's academic future hang in the balance. They navigate a minefield of stolen glances, charged conversations, and near-misses. The boundaries between teacher and student blur, and both are forced to confront what they truly want. The tension is both exhilarating and excruciating, as desire wars with duty and fear.

Secrets and Stage Lights

Friendship, jealousy, and the theatre world

Bliss's friendships are tested as her secret with Garrick grows heavier. Cade, her loyal best friend, confesses his feelings for her, complicating matters further. The theatre department becomes a crucible for drama both on and off the stage. Auditions, rehearsals, and cast parties provide a backdrop for Bliss's internal struggles. She's torn between her feelings for Garrick, her loyalty to Cade, and her own insecurities. The stage becomes a mirror for her real-life dilemmas, as she learns to channel her emotions into her performances.

The Kiss and the Fallout

Lines crossed and hearts bruised

A passionate, forbidden kiss between Bliss and Garrick shatters their fragile truce. The fallout is immediate—guilt, confusion, and the risk of exposure. Cade is hurt, and Bliss is wracked with remorse. Garrick tries to keep his distance, but the pull between them is too strong. Their relationship teeters on the edge of disaster, as secrets threaten to come to light and friendships fray. Bliss is forced to confront the consequences of her choices and the reality of what she stands to lose.

Friends, Fears, and Fights

Confrontations and emotional reckoning

The tension between Bliss, Garrick, and Cade reaches a breaking point. Arguments erupt, feelings are laid bare, and the cost of secrecy becomes clear. Bliss's world feels like it's unraveling—her friendship with Cade is in jeopardy, her relationship with Garrick is forbidden, and her own sense of self is shaken. Through tears and confessions, she begins to understand the importance of honesty, vulnerability, and forgiveness. The path to healing is messy, but necessary.

Acting, Auditions, and Awkwardness

Growth through performance and pain

As Bliss throws herself into her acting, she discovers new depths of emotion and strength. The process of preparing for a major role becomes a metaphor for her own journey—learning to let go, to trust, and to embrace imperfection. The theatre becomes a sanctuary and a crucible, forcing her to confront her fears and desires head-on. Through auditions, callbacks, and rehearsals, Bliss finds her voice both on stage and in her life.

Spin the Bottle Night

A party that changes everything

A drunken game of spin the bottle with her theatre friends leads to unexpected revelations and complications. Bliss shares a charged kiss with Cade, blurring the lines of their friendship. The party becomes a catalyst for change, forcing Bliss to reevaluate her relationships and what she truly wants. The night is a whirlwind of laughter, longing, and the messy reality of growing up. The aftermath leaves Bliss with more questions than answers, but also a newfound determination to face her fears.

Cade's Confession

Unrequited love and difficult choices

Cade finally confesses his love for Bliss, hoping for more than friendship. Bliss is torn—she cares deeply for Cade, but her heart belongs to Garrick. The conversation is raw and painful, filled with honesty and heartbreak. Bliss must choose between the safe, familiar love of her best friend and the risky, passionate love she feels for Garrick. Her decision marks a turning point, as she learns to listen to her own desires and accept the consequences.

The Cat Named Hamlet

Facing fears and embracing truth

In a symbolic gesture, Bliss adopts a gray cat and names her Hamlet, bringing her lie to life. The act is both a joke and a declaration—a way of facing her fears and taking ownership of her choices. The cat becomes a companion and a mirror, reflecting Bliss's journey toward self-acceptance. As she cares for Hamlet, Bliss learns to care for herself, to forgive her mistakes, and to move forward with courage.

Breaking and Mending Hearts

Loss, loneliness, and reconciliation

The fallout from Bliss's choices leaves her isolated—Cade is distant, Kelsey is frustrated, and Garrick is out of reach. Bliss grapples with loneliness and regret, questioning whether she's made the right decisions. Through illness and vulnerability, she and Garrick find their way back to each other, caring for one another in sickness and in health. The experience strips away their defenses, allowing them to reconnect on a deeper, more honest level.

The Slow Burn

Building trust and intimacy

With secrets revealed and wounds healing, Bliss and Garrick begin to rebuild their relationship slowly and deliberately. They navigate the challenges of secrecy, professional boundaries, and lingering fears. Their intimacy grows not just physically, but emotionally, as they learn to trust each other and themselves. The slow burn of their love is both torturous and transformative, teaching them the value of patience, communication, and vulnerability.

Illness and Intimacy

Mono, caretaking, and confessions

A bout of mononucleosis sweeps through the theatre department, forcing Bliss and Garrick into close quarters. As they care for each other through fever and fatigue, their emotional walls crumble. In the haze of illness, truths are confessed—Bliss admits her virginity, Garrick reveals his own fears and past heartbreaks. The experience becomes a crucible, forging a bond that is both tender and resilient. Through shared weakness, they find unexpected strength.

Truths, Fears, and Firsts

Letting go and making love

With graduation approaching and the end of Garrick's teaching tenure in sight, Bliss and Garrick finally give in to their feelings. Their first time together is a culmination of months of longing, fear, and growth. The experience is awkward, beautiful, and deeply meaningful—a true coming-of-age moment for Bliss. In the aftermath, they talk about the future, dreams, and the possibility of building a life together. The barriers between them have fallen, replaced by trust and love.

Opening Night, New Beginnings

Performance, celebration, and hope

On the night of her final college performance, Bliss shines on stage, channeling all her pain and joy into her role. The show is a triumph, a testament to her growth as an actor and a person. Surrounded by friends, she celebrates not just the end of a chapter, but the beginning of a new one. With Garrick by her side, she looks toward the future with hope and excitement, ready to embrace whatever comes next. Their love, once forbidden and fraught, is now a source of strength and possibility.

Characters

Bliss Edwards

Anxious, self-aware, and evolving

Bliss is a 22-year-old theatre major whose defining trait is her overactive mind and need for control. Her virginity is both a source of shame and a symbol of her fear of the unknown. Bliss is intelligent, witty, and deeply self-critical, often using humor and sarcasm to mask her insecurities. Her relationships—with Kelsey, Cade, and Garrick—force her to confront her fears, desires, and the messy reality of adulthood. Over the course of the story, Bliss transforms from a girl paralyzed by anxiety into a woman who learns to trust herself, embrace vulnerability, and pursue her own happiness. Her journey is one of self-discovery, marked by mistakes, growth, and ultimately, self-acceptance.

Garrick Taylor

Charming, passionate, and conflicted

Garrick is a British actor-turned-professor whose confidence and charisma mask his own vulnerabilities. He is intelligent, cultured, and deeply passionate about theatre and literature. Garrick's attraction to Bliss is immediate and intense, but complicated by his role as her teacher. He struggles to balance his professional responsibilities with his personal desires, often erring on the side of caution. Garrick's past heartbreaks and fear of repeating old mistakes make him cautious, but his love for Bliss ultimately pushes him to take risks. He is patient, supportive, and willing to wait for Bliss to be ready, embodying both the fantasy and the reality of a true partner.

Cade Winston

Loyal, loving, and heartbroken

Cade is Bliss's best friend and confidant, the steady presence in her chaotic world. He is kind, supportive, and deeply in love with Bliss, though he hides his feelings for much of the story. Cade's confession of love is both a turning point and a source of pain, forcing Bliss to confront the limits of their relationship. His heartbreak is palpable, but he remains a true friend, ultimately choosing forgiveness and understanding over resentment. Cade's journey is one of unrequited love, self-discovery, and the difficult process of letting go.

Kelsey Summers

Bold, brash, and fiercely loyal

Kelsey is Bliss's best female friend, a force of nature who refuses to let Bliss wallow in self-doubt. She is unapologetically sexual, confident, and unafraid to speak her mind. Kelsey's approach to life is the opposite of Bliss's—she dives in headfirst, embracing risk and adventure. Her friendship is both a source of comfort and a catalyst for change, pushing Bliss out of her comfort zone and into the world. Kelsey's own vulnerabilities are hinted at, adding depth to her otherwise larger-than-life persona.

Hamlet (the Cat)

Symbolic, aloof, and unexpectedly comforting

Hamlet is the gray cat Bliss adopts as a result of her panicked lie to Garrick. Initially a symbol of Bliss's anxiety and avoidance, Hamlet becomes a companion and a mirror for Bliss's journey. The cat's skittishness and eventual acceptance parallel Bliss's own path toward trust and self-acceptance. Hamlet's presence adds humor, warmth, and a touch of symbolism to the story.

Dom

Comic relief and foil

Dom is a fellow theatre student whose brashness and lack of self-awareness provide comic relief and contrast to Bliss's introspection. His actions—particularly during rehearsals—highlight the challenges and absurdities of the theatre world. Dom's presence serves to underscore the importance of boundaries, respect, and professionalism.

Rusty

Eccentric, supportive, and endearing

Rusty is another member of the theatre group, known for his quirky humor and musical talents. He is a source of levity and camaraderie, often breaking the tension with jokes and spontaneous performances. Rusty's openness and acceptance make him a valuable friend and ally.

Lindsay

Talented, insightful, and grounded

Lindsay is a fellow theatre major and musician whose performances provide emotional resonance and reflection for Bliss. Her music, particularly the song "Resist," serves as a backdrop for Bliss's internal struggles and desires. Lindsay's presence adds depth and authenticity to the depiction of the theatre community.

Victoria

Confident, competitive, and complex

Victoria is a fellow actress whose confidence and ambition sometimes put her at odds with Bliss and Kelsey. She is unapologetically herself, embracing her sexuality and pursuing her goals with determination. Victoria's interactions with the group highlight the complexities of female friendship and competition.

Eric Barnes

Mentor, authority figure, and catalyst

Eric is the head of the theatre department and a guiding force for Bliss and her peers. He is supportive, insightful, and willing to push his students to grow. Eric's presence provides structure and stability, serving as both a mentor and a reminder of the responsibilities and realities of the adult world.

Plot Devices

Duality of Performance and Reality

Bliss's life as a stage for self-discovery

The narrative structure of "Losing It" is built around the interplay between performance and authenticity. The theatre setting serves as both a literal and metaphorical stage, allowing characters to explore, hide, and ultimately reveal their true selves. Auditions, rehearsals, and performances mirror the characters' internal struggles, blurring the lines between acting and living. This device is used to highlight the tension between appearance and reality, fear and desire, control and surrender. Foreshadowing is woven through the use of Shakespearean references and the recurring motif of the cat, signaling moments of crisis and transformation. The story's pacing—alternating between moments of high drama and quiet introspection—mirrors the rhythms of both theatre and life, creating a narrative that is both engaging and emotionally resonant.

Analysis

"Losing It" is a witty, heartfelt exploration of the anxieties and exhilarations of early adulthood, set against the vibrant backdrop of college theatre. At its core, the novel is about the fear of vulnerability—sexual, emotional, and existential—and the courage it takes to step into the unknown. Bliss's journey from anxious virgin to self-assured woman is both specific and universal, capturing the messy, nonlinear process of growing up. The book deftly balances humor and pathos, using the theatre as a metaphor for the roles we play and the masks we wear. Through its nuanced characters and sharp dialogue, "Losing It" challenges the stigma around virginity, the pressure to conform, and the myth of effortless romance. Instead, it celebrates the beauty of imperfection, the necessity of honesty, and the transformative power of love and friendship. In a world obsessed with appearances and quick fixes, "Losing It" reminds us that real intimacy—on stage and off—requires risk, patience, and the willingness to be seen, flaws and all.

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Review Summary

3.71 out of 5
Average of 109.5K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Losing It by Cora Carmack receives mixed reviews averaging 3.71 stars. Many readers praise the humorous, lighthearted romance between virgin college student Bliss and her British professor Garrick, enjoying the steamy scenes and witty banter. The awkward comedy and sexual tension are frequently highlighted as strengths. However, critics find the plot predictable, the heroine frustrating, and the British character stereotypical. Some reviewers dismiss it as fluffy and clichéd, while others consider it an entertaining, fun read perfect for the New Adult genre, particularly praising the authentic portrayal of first-time intimacy.

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About the Author

Cora Carmack is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author specializing in New Adult Romance and YA fantasy. Her books have been translated into more than a dozen languages worldwide, demonstrating her international appeal. Based in Austin, Texas, Carmack balances her writing career with traveling globally and spending time with her pets, Katniss the cat and Sherlock the dog. She maintains an active online presence across multiple platforms including Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and her personal website. Though rarely on Goodreads, she remains accessible to fans through social media and email, engaging with her readership across various channels.

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