Dream School

1. The "Dream School" is a Personal Fit, Not a Brand Name

Because the dream isn’t about a single name or a universally understood brand like the Ivy League.

Redefine success. The pervasive notion of a singular "dream school" often equates to an elite, top-ranked institution, driven by societal pressures and brand recognition rather than individual needs. This book argues that true success in college is about finding a place where you can genuinely thrive, learn, and become the person you're meant to be, which may not be a universally recognized "elite" brand. The author's conversations with parents reveal a deep-seated desire for their children to find fulfilling careers and happiness, often overshadowed by the perceived importance of prestige.

Beyond rankings. The author challenges the idea that college rankings accurately identify the "best schools," suggesting they primarily serve as a shorthand for managing brands. Many families admit that a significant reason for desiring an Ivy League or MIT acceptance is the signal it sends to others, rather than a genuine belief in its unique educational value for their child. This external validation often leads to unnecessary stress and a narrow focus on a small subset of institutions, ignoring the vast landscape of over 3,900 colleges and universities in the U.S.

Personalized approach. A truly good school is one that aligns with a student's personality, learning style, and post-graduation aspirations. It's about considering factors like campus size, urban versus rural setting, academic intensity, and social environment. The author encourages readers to step away from the "elite college" mindset and instead discover what truly makes a "good" school for them, emphasizing that aspirational picks are fine, but they shouldn't dictate the entire search.

2. Elite College Degrees Matter Less Than You Think for Most Careers

The average income of Ivy-plus graduates wasn’t that different from those who attended selective public flagships, such as Ohio State, the University of Florida, the University of Georgia, or UCLA.

"Extra lottery ticket" analogy. While attending an elite college might offer an "extra lottery ticket" for landing in the top 1% of earners or attending a top-tier graduate school, it's not a guarantee of extraordinary success. Economist David Deming's research shows that for the vast majority of graduates, regardless of where they went to school, career outcomes look "pretty similar." The perceived advantage of an elite degree often stems from a narrow definition of success focused solely on income and job titles.

Big fish, little pond. The "big fish–little pond" effect suggests that high-achieving students from high school may struggle at highly selective colleges due to intense competition, leading to decreased confidence or even changing majors. Conversely, thriving at a less competitive institution can build confidence and provide more opportunities for leadership and mentorship. This intuitive understanding led some students, like Beth (Harvard Law graduate), to intentionally choose smaller, less prestigious undergraduate institutions where they could excel.

Regional hiring matters. Most employers, even national firms, tend to recruit new graduates from schools in the regions where their companies are located, rather than exclusively from elite institutions. This is because:

• Alumni networks are densest in nearby states and cities, facilitating connections.
• Companies seek candidates committed to living in the region.
• Prestige can sometimes hurt, as elite graduates may expect higher salaries not aligned with regional markets.
  This means that a degree from a well-regarded regional university can be just as, if not more, valuable for local job prospects than one from a distant Ivy League.

3. The College Admissions Game Has Radically Changed and Intensified

It doesn’t mesh with the vision that I had!

Post-2020 upheaval. The college admissions process has become significantly more intense and complex since 2020, largely due to three pandemic-era adjustments:

• Test-optional policies: Hundreds of schools, including the Ivy League, dropped SAT/ACT requirements, leading to a massive surge in applications (24% increase at selective colleges in one year).
• Multiple deadlines: Colleges added early decision (ED) and early action (EA) options to secure commitments earlier, but this also led to more applications per student.
• Yield management: To manage the deluge and identify serious applicants, less-selective schools deferred or denied early-round applicants if they suspected the school was a "safety pick."

"List creep" and overconfidence. Students and parents, fueled by inflated high school grades and the ambiguity of test-optional policies, often suffer from an "overconfidence bias." What were once considered "reach" schools are now seen as "target" schools, leading to:

• Longer application lists (nearly 1 in 5 applicants apply to 10+ colleges).
• A disproportionate number of "reach" schools on student lists.
• Increased competition even for "next-tier" colleges, as top students apply more broadly.
  This results in widespread disappointment when deferrals and rejections from highly selective institutions become the norm, even for academically strong students.

The "finite game" of admissions. The author uses the analogy of a "finite game" to describe the admissions process, where there are clear winners and losers. Colleges, particularly elite ones, protect their status by boasting ultra-low acceptance rates, often achieved by encouraging more applications without expanding class sizes. This system can feel arbitrary and frustrating, as exemplified by the MIT dean of admissions admitting he likely wouldn't get into MIT today. The constant pressure to "win" this finite game often overshadows the "infinite game" of a meaningful college experience and life beyond.

4. Prioritize Value Over Prestige: Financial Realities Drive College Choices

I wasn’t inclined to think that the caliber of the educational opportunity that we were being offered for $79,000 was so much better than what she was being offered for $29,000.

The "donut hole" dilemma. Many middle- and upper-middle-income families find themselves in a "donut hole" where their income is too high for need-based aid but not high enough to comfortably afford soaring tuition costs. This forces a reevaluation of priorities, leading families to:

• "Undermatch" for merit scholarships at less selective schools.
• Consider lower-cost public colleges, even out-of-state.
• Prioritize financial flexibility for future expenses like graduate school or early career support.
  This shift reflects a growing sentiment that, beyond the most prestigious institutions, the value proposition of many expensive private colleges no longer justifies the cost.

"Skip-over schools" emerge. As families become more financially pragmatic, they are increasingly bypassing "next-tier" elite institutions—liberal arts colleges like Kenyon or research universities like George Washington—that once commanded full price. These "skip-over schools" are losing pricing power as consumers question the incremental value of their prestige. The market is seeing a "quiet luxury" mindset emerge in higher education, where families invest in quality and outcomes at a reasonable price, rather than paying a premium for a brand name.

Maximizing value strategies. The author identifies five key actions to maximize value over prestige:

• Balanced search list: Include a mix of elite, small liberal arts, and accessible public schools to ensure diverse financial offers.
• Caution with early decision: Avoid binding commitments that limit financial aid options.
• Slow down the search: Allow time to discover personal non-negotiables beyond rankings.
• Consider community college first: Save money and gain clarity before transferring to a four-year institution.
• Open money conversations: Discuss costs and value openly with your child to manage expectations and guilt.

5. Embrace Your Agency: Explore and Discover Your Unique Path

You have so much more control over this process than you’re led to believe.

Challenging external expectations. Students often feel immense pressure to conform to others' dreams and expectations for their college and career paths, leading to anxiety and a sense of being trapped in a predetermined "line." The author emphasizes that personal agency—the ability to influence and direct one's own life—begins with a willingness to step out of that line and explore other possibilities beyond the conventional. This means questioning the "what ifs" and focusing on what truly resonates with individual aspirations.

"Explore and exploit" mindset. College and the years immediately following should be a period of intellectual "dating around" and exploration, rather than a transactional march towards a predetermined career. Many students, influenced by parental anxiety and the high cost of tuition, prematurely "exploit" a perceived lucrative path, risking a bad career fit. The author advocates for:

• Delaying specialization: Research suggests that students who specialize later are more likely to find careers that align with their interests and achieve long-term success.
• Dabbling and serendipity: Allowing time and room for discovery, even if it means switching majors, can lead to greater fulfillment.
• Understanding motivations: Reflecting on what makes you lose track of time, what skills feel effortless, and your desired lifestyle.

Beyond the "haystack" of data. The proliferation of college data and rankings has created an "information marketplace" that can overwhelm families, leading to "cherry-picking" and an over-reliance on averages. This can obscure the individual's unique potential and the diverse pathways to success. The author encourages students to:

• Focus on the "why": Identify core values, interests, and desired impact.
• Seek tangible opportunities: Look for specific research projects, internships, or faculty connections.
• Recognize that success is not solely defined by elite institutions: Many successful individuals come from a wide range of colleges.

6. Mentors and Quality Teaching Are Paramount for Student Success

Good teaching is the primary means through which institutions affect students.

Beyond rankings' blind spots. While parents prioritize lasting friendships, inspiring professors, and career-shaping mentors, college rankings largely fail to measure these crucial aspects of the undergraduate experience. Rankings often focus on inputs like faculty salaries and research citations, or superficial "student experience" metrics, rather than the actual quality of teaching or faculty-student interaction. This disconnect means that highly ranked research universities, where faculty incentives often favor research over teaching, may not offer the most engaging or supportive learning environments for undergraduates.

The "middling" quality of teaching. Research by Corbin M. Campbell found that the overall quality of college teaching is "middling," with regional public universities often outperforming prestigious research institutions in classroom engagement. Faculty at flagships, for instance, may view teaching as a "load" and spend less time on it. This highlights that a school's prestige does not automatically equate to excellent teaching or readily available mentorship.

Finding teaching-first colleges. To identify schools that prioritize teaching and mentorship, the author suggests three actionable steps:

• Investigate hiring practices: Ask if faculty give teaching demonstrations during the hiring process, indicating a commitment to teaching quality.
• Talk to current students: Seek out honest feedback from undergraduates about their professors, especially regarding accessibility, engagement, and mentorship opportunities.
• Sit in on a class: Experience the teaching style firsthand and observe student-faculty interactions.
  These direct inquiries can reveal a college's true commitment to fostering meaningful connections, which are often more prevalent at schools deeper in the rankings that need to prove their educational value.

7. Belonging is Essential for a Thriving Undergraduate Experience

A college should be able to serve all kinds of students. They should be able to fit you.

More than a buzzword. "Belonging" is not merely about comfort or making friends; it's a fundamental human need critical for student success, influencing academic performance, opportunities, retention, and mental health. A poor sense of belonging can lead to loneliness, a widespread issue on campuses, and significantly increases the risk of dropping out in the first year. The author emphasizes that colleges should actively create an infrastructure for belonging, rather than expecting students to simply "fit in."

Cumulative effects of early connections. The transition to college often brings "belonging uncertainty," where initial unsettling experiences can lead to a negative self-narrative. However, early, seemingly small interactions can have cumulative positive effects. Research shows that interventions, like reassuring messages from upperclassmen, can significantly improve grades and graduation rates. Similarly, taking "microrisks" like visiting office hours or joining a club early on can snowball into deeper connections and opportunities.

Three domains of belonging. A holistic sense of belonging encompasses academic, residential, and extracurricular life:

• Academic: Promoted by accessible faculty, active learning, timely feedback, and structured first-year experiences (e.g., cohort classes, peer mentors).
• Residential: Fostered by living-learning communities, house systems, and thoughtful roommate assignments, rather than luxury amenities that encourage isolation.
• Extracurricular: Expands personal and professional networks, creating "multiple nonoverlapping circles of connection" that build diverse identities and provide "weak ties" crucial for job opportunities.
  Students should actively seek out colleges that demonstrate intentional efforts to cultivate belonging across all these domains, as these connections are vital for personal growth and future success.

8. Understand College Financial Health to Ensure Lasting Value

Does this school have the financial wherewithal to invest in your undergraduate experience?

Beyond tuition costs. While families focus on their own ability to pay, understanding a college's financial health is crucial to ensure the institution can deliver on its promises and maintain the value of its degree. Many colleges, unlike the few with billion-dollar endowments, operate on "unsponsored discounts," meaning merit aid comes from foregone revenue, not a dedicated fund. This can lead to a "doom loop" where declining net revenue forces cuts in vital student services, faculty, and campus maintenance, degrading the student experience over time.

Signs of fiscal distress. While outright college closures are rare, many institutions are on an "unsustainable financial path," facing a demographic downturn and increased competition. Key indicators of a college's financial health include:

• Bond-rating reports: These publicly available reports from agencies like Moody's offer insights into a school's financial risk, outlook (positive, stable, negative), and underlying issues like deficit spending or aging infrastructure.
• Net tuition revenue: A consistent decline or stagnation in net tuition revenue (sticker price minus discounts) is a red flag, indicating a struggle to generate sufficient funds for operations.
• Endowment health: While total endowment size matters, the amount per student and the percentage drawn annually for operations are better indicators of financial stability.
• Enrollment trends: Consistent falling enrollment over 3-5 years, especially without a plan to shrink, is a worrisome sign.

Program mix and athletic teams. The mix of academic programs and the growth of athletic teams can also signal financial health. Colleges often maintain many low-enrollment majors at a high cost, or add niche athletic teams (especially in Division III) to boost enrollment, without accurately assessing their financial viability. A high percentage of athletes in the student body, or numerous new teams, can sometimes be a last-ditch effort to attract students and revenue, rather than a sign of strength.

9. Maximize Your Degree's Payoff with Marketable Skills and Internships

Where they went to school matters far less than what they did while there.

Skills over pedigree. In today's competitive job market, practical know-how and demonstrable skills are often more valuable than a degree from a prestigious institution. Employers, especially in tech and consulting, increasingly prioritize candidates who have acquired both "foundational skills" (e.g., project management, creativity) and "specialized skills" (field-specific expertise). The author argues that while colleges teach "learning outcomes," they often fail to explicitly credit students for the marketable skills gained, such as data analytics, which can significantly boost earnings.

The power of microcredentials. Microcredentials (badges, certificates) from industry leaders or reputable providers are emerging as powerful complements to a bachelor's degree. They offer tangible proof of specific skills that employers value, such as Salesforce knowledge or cybersecurity analysis. Many colleges are now integrating microcredentials into their programs ("credegrees"), or students can pursue them independently to differentiate themselves in the job market.

Internships are essential. Internships have transitioned from "nice-to-haves" to "essential" for most fields, particularly for students at less-selective colleges. They provide critical real-world experience and are the strongest predictor of avoiding "underemployment" after graduation. Companies often use internships as extended job interviews, with a high percentage of interns receiving full-time offers. To secure fruitful internships:

• Look for built-in programs: Seek majors or schools with required internships, co-op programs, or work experiences integrated into coursework.
• Explore job shadowing/externships: Gain early exposure to careers and build connections.
• Treat the search like a class: Dedicate consistent time, set up alerts, and prepare thoroughly for interviews.
  By actively building marketable skills and securing internships, students can significantly steer their post-graduation outcomes, regardless of their alma mater's ranking.

Last updated: March 11, 2026