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Disgrace

Disgrace

by Brittainy C. Cherry 2018 402 pages
4.32
32.1K ratings
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Plot Summary

Shattered Beginnings, Broken Homes

A family fractures under strain

The story opens with young Jackson Emery witnessing his mother's departure from their home, leaving him and his father behind in a storm of heartbreak. The trauma of abandonment and the confusion of a child's love set the tone for Jackson's lifelong struggle with trust and belonging. His mother's words, "Take care of your father," become a haunting refrain. Meanwhile, Grace Harris, the daughter of a small-town pastor, faces her own unraveling as her marriage to Finn collapses under the weight of infidelity and loss. Both protagonists are shaped by early wounds, their hearts marked by the pain of being left behind and the desperate hope for healing.

Luggage of Memories

Packing up a life's history

Grace stands in her empty Atlanta home, surrounded by suitcases that each hold a piece of her fifteen-year marriage. Every bag is a symbol of a milestone—honeymoon, miscarriages, career, love lost and found. As she and Finn sign the final papers, the coldness between them is palpable. Grace's longing for reconciliation is met with Finn's detachment, and the reality of their separation becomes inescapable. The act of packing is both literal and metaphorical: she is forced to carry the weight of her past as she returns to her childhood home in Chester, Georgia, uncertain of her future and her place in the world.

Small Town, Big Scars

Returning to judgment and gossip

Chester is a town where everyone knows your name—and your secrets. Grace dreads the scrutiny she'll face as she moves back in with her family, hiding the truth of her failed marriage. The Harris family is local royalty, but their wealth and status come with suffocating expectations. Meanwhile, Jackson is the town's black sheep, running his father's auto shop and enduring the community's scorn. The town's collective memory is long, and its capacity for forgiveness is short. Both Grace and Jackson are trapped by the stories others tell about them, struggling to find space for their own truths.

Collision at the Crossroads

A fateful meeting sparks change

Grace's car breaks down spectacularly as she enters Chester, nearly causing a disaster. Jackson, gruff and unwelcoming, comes to her rescue, their first encounter bristling with mutual disdain and misunderstanding. Their interaction is raw, honest, and laced with pain—each sees the other as a symbol of everything wrong in their own lives. Yet, beneath the surface, a strange recognition flickers. This collision is the catalyst for both, forcing them to confront their own prejudices and the possibility that connection can be found in the most unlikely places.

Betrayal in the Living Room

Trust shattered by those closest

Grace seeks solace with her best friend Autumn, only to discover that Autumn is the woman Finn cheated with. The revelation is devastating, compounding the pain of marital betrayal with the loss of her closest confidante. The confrontation is raw and humiliating, leaving Grace reeling and alone in a town that thrives on gossip. Her panic attack in the aftermath is witnessed by Jackson, who, despite his reputation, offers her unexpected comfort. This moment marks the beginning of a fragile, reluctant bond between two broken souls.

Monsters and Misfits

Living on the margins of acceptance

Jackson's life is defined by his outsider status. He is the son of the town drunk, a recovering addict, and the subject of endless rumors. His only constant is his aging dog, Tucker, and his uncle Alex, who provides a rare source of warmth. Jackson's anger is both a shield and a prison, keeping others at bay but also isolating him from the possibility of love. Grace, too, is an outsider in her own way—her family's expectations and the town's scrutiny leave her feeling unseen and unheard. Their shared sense of alienation becomes the ground on which their tentative friendship grows.

Family Ties, Family Lies

The weight of legacy and expectation

Grace's family is both her refuge and her burden. Her mother, Loretta, is obsessed with appearances and tradition, while her father, Samuel, is a gentle but passive presence. Grace's sister Judy is her anchor, offering unconditional support. Yet, the Harris family's history is riddled with secrets—infidelity, disappointment, and unspoken pain. Jackson's family is fractured by addiction and grief, his father's decline a daily reminder of all that's been lost. Both protagonists are shaped by the stories their families tell—and the truths they hide.

Silent Bookshop Sanctuary

Finding peace among the pages

The Silent Bookshop becomes a haven for Grace, a place where she can escape the noise of her life and lose herself in stories. Here, she reconnects with old friends and begins to rediscover her own desires and dreams. Jackson, too, is a regular, drawn to young adult novels that remind him of lost innocence. Their shared love of books becomes a quiet bridge between them, allowing for moments of vulnerability and understanding. In the silence of the bookshop, they begin to see each other—and themselves—more clearly.

Panic, Prayer, and Pain

Breaking down and reaching out

Grace's anxiety and grief reach a breaking point, manifesting in panic attacks and sleepless nights. The pressure to be perfect, to meet everyone's expectations, becomes unbearable. Jackson, recognizing her pain, offers a kind of comfort that is both brusque and deeply empathetic. Their conversations are raw, honest, and often painful, but through them, both begin to confront the wounds that have shaped their lives. Prayer, for Grace, becomes less about ritual and more about seeking meaning in the midst of chaos.

The Gentle Monster Emerges

Vulnerability transforms connection

As Grace and Jackson spend more time together, the walls between them begin to crumble. Jackson's reputation as a monster is challenged by his acts of quiet kindness—caring for his father, rescuing Grace, and tending to his beloved dog. Grace, in turn, learns to assert her own needs and desires, stepping out from the shadow of her family's expectations. Their relationship deepens from reluctant friendship to something more intimate, marked by moments of laughter, shared pain, and the slow, tentative emergence of trust.

Rumors, Reputations, and Revelations

Truths come to light, changing everything

The town's gossip machine goes into overdrive as Grace and Jackson's connection becomes harder to hide. Old wounds are reopened as family secrets surface—Grace learns of her father's infidelity, and Jackson discovers the true nature of his mother's relationship with Samuel Harris. The revelation that their families are linked by betrayal and loss threatens to destroy the fragile bond they've built. Both must confront the question of whether love can survive the weight of the past.

Letting Go, Breaking Down

Separation and self-discovery

Overwhelmed by the pain of their histories and the pressure of the town's judgment, Grace and Jackson part ways. Each embarks on a journey of self-discovery—Grace returns to Atlanta to rebuild her life, while Jackson sets out on the road, seeking meaning beyond Chester. Their separation is marked by longing, regret, and the slow realization that healing must come from within. Through letters, books, and small acts of courage, they begin to find themselves—and, in doing so, make space for the possibility of reunion.

Sledgehammers and Sunsets

Anger, art, and catharsis

Jackson's grief and rage find expression in physical acts—destroying cars, painting sunsets, and caring for Tucker in his final days. Grace, too, learns to channel her pain into creativity and self-care. The act of letting go—of anger, of the past, of old dreams—becomes a form of healing. As both protagonists confront their deepest wounds, they begin to see the beauty in brokenness and the possibility of new beginnings.

The Art of Healing

Forgiveness and reconciliation

Family relationships are tested and transformed as secrets are confessed and forgiveness is sought. Grace reconciles with her mother, who finally admits her own pain and regrets. Jackson's father enters rehab, and the two begin to rebuild their relationship on new terms. The Harris and Emery families, once divided by betrayal, find a measure of peace. Through acts of vulnerability and honesty, both Grace and Jackson learn that healing is a process—one that requires patience, compassion, and the willingness to start again.

Choosing Yourself

Claiming agency and self-worth

Grace's journey is one of reclaiming her own voice and desires. She learns to set boundaries, to say no, and to choose herself first. Jackson, too, discovers that he is worthy of love and happiness, regardless of his past. Their individual growth is mirrored in their relationship, which becomes a partnership of equals rather than a refuge from pain. The lesson is clear: true love is only possible when both partners are whole.

The Summer of Us

Love blooms in unexpected places

After months of separation and growth, Grace and Jackson reunite, their love deepened by the trials they've endured. Their relationship is no longer a desperate grasp at solace, but a conscious choice to build a life together. They marry in a ceremony marked by forgiveness, joy, and the presence of those who once stood in their way. The summer that began in disgrace ends in hope, as two broken people find wholeness in each other.

Secrets, Scars, and Separation

The past lingers, but hope endures

Even as Grace and Jackson build a new life, the scars of their histories remain. They honor their losses—Grace's miscarriages, Jackson's mother and dog—through rituals of remembrance and acts of kindness. The town, once a source of pain, becomes a place of healing as old wounds are acknowledged and new traditions are born. The message is not that pain disappears, but that it can be transformed into something beautiful.

Always and Always

A promise of enduring love

The story closes with Grace and Jackson reaffirming their commitment to each other and to themselves. Their love is not perfect, but it is real—rooted in honesty, vulnerability, and the willingness to keep choosing each other, day after day. The refrain "always and always" becomes a symbol of hope, a reminder that even in the face of disgrace, love can endure. The final image is one of peace: two souls, once lost, now found—together.

Characters

Grace Harris

A woman seeking self-worth

Grace is the daughter of Chester's revered pastor, raised to embody perfection and grace. Her marriage to Finn is marked by love, loss, and ultimately betrayal, as repeated miscarriages and emotional distance drive them apart. Grace's journey is one of reclaiming her voice and agency—learning to set boundaries, assert her needs, and choose herself first. Her relationships with her family are complex: her mother's harshness and her father's passivity both wound and shape her. Grace's psychological arc is defined by her struggle to move beyond the roles others assign her and to discover who she is when she is no longer someone's wife, daughter, or "good girl." Her connection with Jackson is transformative, teaching her that love is not about perfection, but about acceptance and vulnerability.

Jackson Emery

A gentle soul behind a hard shell

Jackson is Chester's outcast, the son of the town drunk and the subject of endless rumors. Scarred by his mother's abandonment and his father's decline, Jackson builds walls of anger and cynicism to protect himself from further pain. His only sources of comfort are his dog Tucker and his uncle Alex, who offers rare warmth. Jackson's psychological journey is one of learning to trust—not only others, but himself. His relationship with Grace challenges his self-image as a monster, revealing the depth of his empathy and capacity for love. Through art, acts of kindness, and the slow work of healing, Jackson discovers that he is worthy of happiness, and that his scars do not define him.

Finn Braun

A man undone by regret

Finn is Grace's husband, a man whose confidence masks deep insecurity and fear of failure. His inability to cope with loss—especially Grace's miscarriages—leads him to seek solace in the arms of another, shattering the trust at the heart of his marriage. Finn's arc is one of denial and avoidance; he wants to reclaim Grace only when he sees her moving on, unable to accept responsibility for his actions. His relationship with Grace is a cautionary tale about the dangers of taking love for granted and the necessity of honest communication.

Loretta Harris

A mother ruled by pride and pain

Loretta is the matriarch of the Harris family, obsessed with appearances and tradition. Her harshness toward Grace is rooted in her own history of betrayal and disappointment—her husband's infidelities have left her bitter and controlling. Loretta's arc is one of gradual softening, as she confronts the consequences of her rigidity and learns to accept her daughters for who they are. Her eventual reconciliation with Grace is a testament to the power of vulnerability and forgiveness.

Samuel Harris

A gentle leader with hidden flaws

Samuel is Grace's father, the town's beloved pastor. Outwardly kind and wise, he is nonetheless complicit in the family's dysfunction—his passivity allows Loretta's harshness to go unchecked, and his own history of infidelity is a source of deep pain. Samuel's relationship with Grace is marked by warmth but also by a failure to protect her from harm. His arc is one of reckoning, as he is forced to confront the consequences of his actions and seek forgiveness from those he loves.

Judy Harris

A steadfast sister and secret dreamer

Judy is Grace's younger sister, a source of unconditional support and quiet strength. Often underestimated by her family, Judy harbors dreams of preaching and leading, but struggles to assert herself in a world that values her beauty over her intellect. Her journey is one of self-assertion, as she steps into her own power and claims her place in the family and the community. Judy's loyalty to Grace is unwavering, and her presence is a constant reminder that love can be both gentle and fierce.

Mike Emery

A father lost to addiction

Mike is Jackson's father, a man broken by loss and consumed by alcoholism. Once a loving parent and skilled mechanic, he is now a shadow of his former self, lashing out at those around him and pushing his son away. Mike's arc is one of slow, painful redemption—through rehab, reconciliation, and the support of those who refuse to give up on him, he begins to reclaim his life. His relationship with Jackson is fraught but ultimately hopeful, a testament to the possibility of healing even the deepest wounds.

Alex

The uncle who bridges worlds

Alex is Jackson's uncle, a tattooed, big-hearted man who provides a rare source of stability and warmth. He is both a mentor and a friend, encouraging Jackson to pursue his passions and supporting him through his darkest moments. Alex's presence is a reminder that family can be chosen as well as inherited, and that love can come from unexpected places.

Autumn

A friend turned betrayer, lost in her own pain

Autumn is Grace's best friend and Finn's lover, a woman whose own insecurities and longing for connection lead her to betray those closest to her. Her arc is one of regret and self-discovery—she must confront the consequences of her actions and learn to love herself before she can hope to love anyone else. Autumn's story is a cautionary tale about the dangers of seeking validation at the expense of integrity.

Tucker

A loyal companion, symbol of unconditional love

Tucker is Jackson's black lab, a constant presence through years of turmoil and change. His unwavering loyalty and gentle spirit provide comfort and grounding for Jackson, serving as a living reminder that love can persist even in the darkest times. Tucker's death is a moment of profound grief, but also of catharsis—his memory becomes a source of strength as Jackson learns to let go and move forward.

Plot Devices

Dual Narratives and Alternating Perspectives

Two voices, two journeys, one emotional arc

The novel alternates between Grace and Jackson's points of view, allowing readers to experience the story through both lenses. This structure deepens empathy and highlights the parallels in their struggles, even as their circumstances differ. The dual narrative also creates dramatic irony, as readers are privy to secrets and motivations that the characters themselves do not always see.

Symbolism of Luggage, Cars, and Art

Objects as emotional anchors

Suitcases, cars, and paintings recur throughout the novel as symbols of memory, identity, and transformation. Grace's luggage represents the weight of her past; her car, Rosie, is a symbol of independence and resilience. Jackson's art and the eventual creation of his mother's studio are metaphors for healing and self-expression. These objects ground the characters' emotional journeys in tangible reality.

The Small Town as Microcosm

Setting as character and crucible

Chester is more than a backdrop—it is an active force in the story, shaping the characters' choices and reflecting their internal conflicts. The town's gossip, traditions, and collective memory serve as both obstacles and catalysts, forcing Grace and Jackson to confront the stories others tell about them and to claim their own narratives.

Foreshadowing and Repetition

Echoes of the past shape the future

Phrases like "always and always" and the motif of being left behind recur throughout the novel, foreshadowing the characters' eventual reconciliation and the endurance of love. The repetition of certain scenes—packing, leaving, returning—underscores the cyclical nature of healing and the possibility of breaking free from old patterns.

Letters, Notes, and Silent Communication

Words as bridges and barriers

The exchange of books and notes between Grace and Jackson becomes a form of silent communication, allowing them to express feelings they cannot yet speak aloud. Letters from the past—Jackson's mother's messages, Grace's prayers—serve as touchstones, connecting the characters to their histories and to each other.

The Sledgehammer and the Bookshop

Physical and emotional catharsis

Acts of destruction (sledgehammering cars) and creation (reading, painting) are used as outlets for grief and anger. These plot devices provide moments of catharsis and transformation, allowing the characters to process pain and make space for new growth.

Analysis

A modern meditation on shame, healing, and the courage to choose oneself

Disgrace is a deeply emotional exploration of what it means to be broken—and to find beauty in the breaking. Through the intertwined journeys of Grace and Jackson, the novel examines the corrosive effects of shame, the weight of family legacy, and the power of community to both wound and heal. At its core, the story is about the necessity of self-discovery: true love is only possible when we are willing to face our own darkness and claim our own worth. The book challenges the myth of the "good girl" and the "monster," revealing the complexity and vulnerability beneath these labels. It is a call to compassion—for ourselves, for those we love, and even for those who have hurt us. The lesson is clear: healing is not linear, and forgiveness is not a single act, but a daily choice. In a world that often equates disgrace with failure, this novel insists that our scars are not signs of weakness, but of survival—and that, with courage and honesty, we can transform even our deepest wounds into sources of strength and connection.

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