Wedding Day Unraveled

Audrey's wedding day begins with a sense of unease, culminating in a shocking disruption at the altar. As she stands in her white dress, the ceremony is interrupted by the sudden collapse of the reverend, sending shockwaves through the congregation and leaving Audrey reeling. The chaos outside the church mirrors her internal turmoil, as she flees barefoot into the woods, questioning how everything unraveled so quickly. The day's events force her to confront the doubts and unresolved feelings that have been simmering beneath the surface, setting the stage for a journey through memory, regret, and the search for clarity about love and commitment.

Rehearsal Night Omens

The night before the wedding, Audrey's rehearsal dinner is plagued by mishaps and superstitions. A dead bat falls in the church, igniting talk of bad omens, while family tensions simmer—her mother Vivien's multiple marriages, stepfathers vying for roles, and the ever-present pressure to please everyone. Audrey's best friend Clara tries to keep her grounded, but the arrival of an unexpected guest—Fred, the man from Audrey's past—throws her further off balance. The rehearsal exposes the cracks in Audrey's carefully constructed life, foreshadowing the emotional storm to come.

The Photo Booth Fate

Years earlier, Audrey's life takes a turn when she finds a mysterious photo strip in a Baker Street photo booth. The images—of a young man, Fred, leaving a playful message—ignite her curiosity and a sense of fate. She responds with her own photo strip, setting off a whimsical, serendipitous exchange. This moment becomes a touchstone in Audrey's life, symbolizing the allure of possibility and the power of missed connections. The photo booth becomes a motif for the "what ifs" that haunt her, and the memory of Fred lingers as she moves through relationships and life's uncertainties.

Past Collides With Present

On the eve of her wedding, Audrey is blindsided when Fred appears as the date of her fiancé's sister. Their unexpected reunion in the pub car park is charged with unresolved emotion and awkwardness. Both are shocked by the coincidence, and their brief, private conversation is fraught with the weight of their shared history. Audrey's anxiety intensifies as she tries to keep their past a secret from her fiancé Josh, fearing the impact on her impending marriage. The collision of past and present forces Audrey to confront the choices that have led her to this crossroads.

The One That Got Away

Flashbacks reveal the depth of Audrey and Fred's connection. Their chance meeting on the London Underground leads to a magical day together—dancing in Hyde Park, sharing secrets, and feeling an instant, profound bond. Plans to meet again are thwarted by a twist of fate: Fred is injured in an accident and unable to contact Audrey, while a miscommunication with phone numbers leaves them both searching for each other in vain. This lost love becomes a defining "what if" in Audrey's life, shaping her understanding of romance, destiny, and regret.

Dinner Table Tensions

At the rehearsal dinner, Audrey struggles to maintain composure as Fred's presence unsettles her. Family members bicker, old wounds are reopened, and the pressure of perfection mounts. Audrey's fiancé Josh is supportive but oblivious to the emotional storm brewing within her. The dinner is punctuated by awkward speeches, accidental injuries, and the ever-present threat of disaster. Audrey's internal conflict grows as she questions her readiness for marriage and her lingering feelings for Fred, all while trying to fulfill everyone's expectations.

Love's Unfinished Chapters

Audrey's relationship with Josh unfolds in parallel to her memories of Fred. Josh is steady, kind, and reliable—the opposite of the whirlwind romance she experienced with Fred. Their love grows slowly, built on friendship and shared routines, but Audrey can't shake the feeling that something is missing. Her mother's history of failed marriages and infidelity casts a long shadow, fueling Audrey's fear of making the same mistakes. As the wedding approaches, Audrey is haunted by doubts about soulmates, destiny, and whether she is truly ready to commit.

Cold Feet and Confessions

On the morning of her wedding, Audrey is overwhelmed by anxiety and indecision. She hides in a linen cupboard, seeking solace from the chaos and her own spiraling thoughts. Her confidant Hillary helps her process her fears, reminding her that no love story is perfect and that doubt is a natural part of commitment. Audrey's panic is compounded by memories of her mother's betrayals and her own unresolved feelings for Fred. The pressure to be certain, to have a flawless wedding, and to live up to others' expectations threatens to consume her.

Maternal Legacies

Audrey's relationship with her mother Vivien is complex and fraught with unspoken pain. Vivien's serial marriages, infidelities, and emotional volatility have left Audrey wary of love and commitment. Flashbacks reveal the pivotal moments that shaped their bond—witnessing Vivien's affairs, the fallout from broken homes, and the struggle to forgive and understand each other. As Audrey prepares to walk down the aisle, she grapples with the fear that she is destined to repeat her mother's mistakes, questioning whether love can truly last or if she is doomed to sabotage her own happiness.

The Kiss That Broke

In the aftermath of the interrupted wedding, Fred corners Audrey in a photo booth and kisses her. Josh witnesses the embrace, and the truth about Audrey's lingering feelings and secret keepsakes is exposed. The confrontation is raw and painful—Josh feels betrayed, and Audrey is forced to confront the consequences of her indecision and emotional dishonesty. The fallout is immediate: Josh leaves, the wedding is called off, and Audrey is left to reckon with the damage she has caused to herself and those she loves.

Aftermath and Reckoning

In the days following the failed wedding, Audrey is consumed by guilt, regret, and self-doubt. She confides in her mother, finally sharing the truth about her past with Benedict and the trauma that derailed her confidence and ambitions. Vivien, in turn, reveals her own regrets and reassures Audrey that she is not doomed to repeat her mistakes. With the support of friends and family, Audrey begins to understand that love is not about perfection or destiny, but about choosing to fight for happiness, even after making mistakes.

Second Chances in Sunlight

Determined to win Josh back, Audrey follows him to Ibiza, where he has retreated to recover from the heartbreak. After a series of comic misadventures—including a viral, glitter-filled serenade—Audrey finally finds Josh and makes a sincere, vulnerable appeal for forgiveness. She acknowledges her flaws, her fears, and her love for him, promising to be a true partner and teammate. Josh, moved by her honesty and effort, begins to see a path forward, and together they plant new roots—literally and figuratively—on the island.

Planting New Roots

Audrey and Josh's reconciliation is marked by hard work, open communication, and a renewed commitment to each other. Audrey joins Josh in planting trees for a local project, symbolizing their willingness to nurture their relationship and grow together. They share their deepest truths, forgive past hurts, and choose each other anew. The experience teaches Audrey that love is not about fate or flawless beginnings, but about the daily choice to build a life together, one rooted in honesty, resilience, and mutual support.

The Real "I Do"

Months later, Audrey and Josh marry in a small, intimate ceremony surrounded by their closest friends and family. The wedding is simple, personal, and free from the pressures and expectations that once weighed Audrey down. She walks herself down the aisle, confident and at peace, having learned to trust herself and the love she shares with Josh. Their vows reflect the hard-won wisdom of their journey: love is a choice, a partnership, and a work in progress. As they dance under the stars, Audrey knows she has found her true home—not in destiny, but in the life they have chosen to build together.

Characters

Audrey Lavery

Audrey is the heart of the story—a woman caught between the allure of possibility and the comfort of stability. Haunted by her mother's romantic failures and her own "what if" with Fred, Audrey is both indecisive and yearning for certainty. She is creative, sensitive, and prone to anxiety, often overwhelmed by the weight of expectations and her fear of repeating past mistakes. Audrey's journey is one of self-discovery: learning to forgive herself, to trust in imperfect love, and to choose happiness even when it means facing her own flaws. Her relationships—with Josh, Fred, Vivien, and her friends—reveal her complexity, vulnerability, and capacity for growth.

Josh Parker

Josh is Audrey's fiancé and eventual husband—a man who values reliability, kindness, and teamwork. He is the anchor to Audrey's storm, offering her stability and unconditional support. Josh's background is marked by modesty and a desire to build a meaningful life, planting trees and nurturing relationships. Though he is sometimes bewildered by Audrey's emotional turbulence, he remains patient and forgiving, willing to fight for their love. Josh's greatest strength is his ability to see the best in people and to believe in second chances, making him the true partner Audrey needs.

Fred (Photo Booth Guy)

Fred is the embodiment of missed opportunities and the intoxicating allure of fate. His connection with Audrey is immediate and electric, but ultimately unsustainable. Fred's life is marked by whimsy, restlessness, and a belief in cosmic signs, which both attracts and frustrates Audrey. His reappearance at the wedding forces Audrey to confront her unresolved feelings and the dangers of idealizing the past. Fred's inability to commit and his tendency to chase serendipity make him a catalyst for Audrey's growth, rather than her true soulmate.

Vivien (Audrey's Mother)

Vivien is a larger-than-life figure whose serial marriages and romantic escapades have shaped Audrey's worldview. She is both a source of wisdom and a cautionary tale, embodying the risks and rewards of following one's heart. Vivien's relationship with Audrey is fraught with unspoken pain, guilt, and longing for connection. Her own regrets and eventual honesty help Audrey break free from inherited patterns and find her own path to happiness.

Clara

Clara is Audrey's best friend and confidante, offering unwavering support and practical advice. As a working mother and image consultant, Clara understands the challenges of balancing personal dreams with real-life responsibilities. Her friendship with Audrey is a model of unconditional love, honesty, and resilience. Clara's own struggles with marriage and motherhood provide a counterpoint to Audrey's romantic dilemmas, reminding her that all relationships require effort and compromise.

Hillary

Once Audrey's "nactor" (nanny-actor), Hillary is a constant presence in her life, offering both comic relief and deep emotional support. He is fiercely protective of Audrey, unafraid to challenge her self-doubt and encourage her to embrace imperfection. Hillary's own struggles with career and identity mirror Audrey's journey, and his wisdom helps her see that love is not about being "sorted," but about being real.

Brian

As one of Audrey's stepfathers, Brian represents the possibility of stable, nurturing love. His quiet presence and genuine care for Audrey provide a contrast to Vivien's volatility. Brian's eventual reconciliation with Vivien offers hope that love can endure, even after mistakes and heartbreak.

Miranda

Josh's sister and Audrey's bridesmaid, Miranda is navigating her own romantic disappointments and insecurities. Her vulnerability and honesty about her fears of being "always a bridesmaid" resonate with Audrey's doubts, highlighting the universal struggle to find love and belonging.

Paul

Audrey's former housemate and Josh's best man, Paul is a steady presence who struggles with his own fears of commitment. His on-again, off-again relationship with Miranda serves as a subplot that echoes the main themes of timing, regret, and second chances.

Benedict

Vivien's ex-lover and a renowned sculptor, Benedict is a dark figure in Audrey's past. His inappropriate behavior and gaslighting undermine Audrey's confidence and contribute to her fear of intimacy and failure. Confronting the truth about Benedict is a crucial step in Audrey's healing and ability to move forward.

Plot Devices

Nonlinear Narrative and Flashbacks

The novel employs a nonlinear structure, moving fluidly between the present-day wedding and pivotal moments from Audrey's past. Flashbacks to her encounters with Fred, her mother's affairs, and her evolving relationship with Josh provide context for her current doubts and decisions. This structure allows the reader to experience Audrey's emotional journey in real time, understanding how past wounds and missed connections shape her present choices.

Symbolism and Motifs

Recurring symbols—such as the photo booth, dead bats, and the bride figurine—underscore the themes of fate, chance, and the search for meaning. The motif of "the call of the void" captures Audrey's struggle with intrusive thoughts and the temptation to self-sabotage. These devices create a sense of interconnectedness between events, reinforcing the idea that life is shaped by both random chance and conscious choice.

Foreshadowing and Irony

The novel is rich with foreshadowing—bad omens at the rehearsal, the bride figurine jumping off the cake, and repeated references to failed marriages—all hint at the impending crisis. Irony abounds, as Audrey's efforts to control her fate often lead to unintended consequences, and her search for certainty only deepens her confusion. The ultimate resolution is both surprising and inevitable, as the characters learn that happiness is found not in perfection, but in embracing life's messiness.

Parallel Relationships

The novel juxtaposes Audrey's relationships with Fred and Josh, as well as the marriages of her mother and friends, to explore different models of love. These parallel stories highlight the tension between passion and stability, fantasy and reality, and the importance of timing and choice. The interplay between these relationships deepens the novel's exploration of what it means to find—and keep—love.

Analysis

Sophie Cousens' Before I Do is a modern meditation on love, fate, and the messy, nonlinear path to happiness. Through Audrey's journey, the novel interrogates the myth of soulmates and the seductive power of "what if," ultimately arguing that love is not a matter of destiny, but of daily, imperfect choice. The story's nonlinear structure and rich symbolism invite readers to reflect on how the past shapes the present, and how healing requires both honesty and forgiveness. By contrasting whirlwind romance with the slow burn of partnership, Cousens challenges the notion that passion alone is enough, suggesting instead that true intimacy is built on vulnerability, resilience, and teamwork. The novel's humor, warmth, and emotional honesty make it both a compelling love story and a thoughtful exploration of the anxieties that haunt modern relationships. In the end, Before I Do offers a hopeful message: happiness is not found in chasing perfection or fate, but in choosing, every day, to nurture the love you have—roots, flaws, and all.

Last updated: December 1, 2025