A Piece of Cake

1. Childhood Shattered: The Genesis of Trauma and Addiction

Little did I know, my hell hadn’t even begun.

An innocent life shattered. La’Vette, affectionately called Cupcake by her mother, was just eleven years old when her world imploded. She awoke one January morning in 1976 to the blaring music of her mother’s alarm clock, only to find her mother, Pat, dead on the floor. This traumatic discovery marked the abrupt end of her childhood innocence and the beginning of a harrowing journey through a broken system.

Descent into foster care. Following her mother's funeral, Cupcake and her brother, Larry, were thrust into the foster care system, placed with a biological father, Mr. Burns, whom they had never met. Mr. Burns, motivated by a life insurance policy, quickly handed them over to Diane, a foster mother in Lancaster. This new home became a place of unimaginable abuse, where Cupcake endured:

• Physical beatings with a "bull whip"
• Emotional torment and constant verbal degradation
• Sexual assault by Diane's nephew, Pete
• Forced labor and starvation, with food locked away

Survival through self-destruction. To cope with the relentless trauma, Cupcake quickly turned to drugs and alcohol, introduced to her by Pete and later by a street prostitute named Candy. These substances offered a temporary escape from her pain, leading her into a life of prostitution ("turning tricks") and petty crime. Her experiences in foster care and on the streets hardened her, teaching her to rely only on herself and to view the world with deep distrust.

2. The False Comfort of Escape: Drugs, Crime, and Self-Deception

I really believed that if I could stop and start crack at will, I couldn’t have a problem with anything.

Addiction's insidious grip. As Cupcake navigated the streets and various foster homes, drugs and alcohol became her constant companions, offering a false sense of control and happiness. She rationalized her escalating use, believing that as long as she maintained certain distinctions, she wasn't truly an addict. These self-deceptions included:

• Not "slamming" (injecting) heroin meant she wasn't a "dope fiend."
• Having a job meant her drug use was "acceptable" and "recreational."
• Only drinking hard liquor on weekends meant she didn't have a "drinking problem."

A life of crime and chaos. Her addiction fueled a life of crime, from shoplifting to bus jackings, all to secure money for her next high. She found a sense of belonging and power in gang life, joining the Eight-Tray Gangster Crips in South Central L.A. This period was marked by:

• Learning to shoot and participate in drive-by shootings
• Embracing violence and ruthlessness as a means of survival
• Experiencing blackouts, which allowed her to remain "oblivious to the atrocities" she committed

The illusion of normalcy. Despite the chaos, Cupcake clung to a semblance of normalcy, often through her ability to secure and maintain jobs, albeit temporarily. She became adept at crafting false résumés and manipulating situations to her advantage, convincing herself and others that her life was "fixed up." This constant cycle of self-deception and external validation allowed her to deny the severity of her addiction, even as her life spiraled further out of control.

3. Cycles of Abuse: The Illusion of Love and Control

My ignorance of domestic violence prevented me from seeing anything wrong with Tommy’s behavior.

Love intertwined with violence. Cupcake's relationships mirrored the dysfunction of her past, particularly her marriage to Tommy. Their bond, initially perceived as love, quickly devolved into a cycle of intense drug use, verbal abuse, and physical violence. Cupcake, having been conditioned by years of trauma, rationalized Tommy's behavior, believing:

• His jealousy and possessiveness were signs of deep love.
• His violence was justified because she "hit back."
• The drugs and alcohol were solely to blame for their fights.

The escalating toll. The constant fighting and drug use led to a nomadic existence, with frequent evictions and the sale of all their possessions for drugs. Despite the escalating violence, Cupcake found it difficult to leave, often returning to Tommy after a few days, especially on his payday. Her friends, though concerned, often dismissed the abuse as typical "Cupcake" behavior, or simply chose to "mind their own business."

A distorted reality. Cupcake's perception of her relationship was deeply skewed by her addiction and past trauma. She saw Tommy's protection, even when it was conditional or violent, as a form of affection and security. This distorted view prevented her from recognizing the true toxicity of their dynamic, trapping her in a cycle where she was both victim and, at times, aggressor, unable to break free from the familiar patterns of abuse.

4. Rock Bottom: A Desperate Cry for a New Beginning

I’d become an animal.

The ultimate degradation. After years of escalating addiction, Cupcake reached her absolute rock bottom. She was evicted from her apartment, abandoned by Tommy, and found herself living behind a dumpster, completely consumed by crack cocaine. Her physical and mental state deteriorated to a horrifying degree:

• Extreme emaciation, resembling "starving children in Africa."
• Scabbed and burnt lips from using a metal antenna as a crack pipe.
• Uncontrollable drooling, darting eyes, and profuse sweating.
• Complete loss of hygiene, reeking of "body odor, garbage, sweat, and filth."

A moment of stark clarity. Staring at her reflection in a gas station window, Cupcake was confronted with the horrifying reality of her existence. For the first time, she truly saw herself as an "animal," a "smoked out" junkie on the brink of death. This brutal self-awareness shattered her denial and brought forth a desperate, unadulterated plea for help.

A whispered prayer and a divine directive. In her utter despair, Cupcake, who had long hated God, whispered two simple words: "Help me." The "Voice," which had guided her intermittently throughout her life, responded with a clear, unexpected instruction: "You'll have to quit your job." This directive, initially confusing, forced her to confront her last remaining attachment to normalcy and acknowledge the full extent of her addiction.

5. A New Family: Finding Unconditional Love and Support

Family are people who love you—whoever that may be.

Unwavering support from unexpected sources. Despite her appearance and past actions, Cupcake found unconditional love and support from a diverse group of individuals. Ken, her boss, saw beyond her addiction and offered her a chance at recovery, even paying for her time off. Her biological father, Daddy, and uncle, Jr., who had always tried to help, continued to be her steadfast anchors.

The power of community. In recovery, Cupcake discovered a new "family" that transcended bloodlines and societal norms. This included:

• V (Venita): Her sponsor, a wise and compassionate black woman who provided tough love and unwavering guidance.
• Maria and Gail: Coworkers who became surrogate mothers, offering practical help and emotional wisdom.
• Momma Chaney: An "old-timer" in recovery, a vessel of knowledge who taught her resilience and self-acceptance.

Learning to trust and accept love. This newfound community taught Cupcake the true meaning of love and acceptance. They didn't judge her past or her appearance; they simply loved her for who she was and encouraged her journey to sobriety. This experience challenged her long-held belief that she was unlovable and undeserving of kindness, slowly eroding her distrust and allowing her to build genuine connections.

6. The Hard Work of Honesty: Confronting a Painful Past

I’d learned not to put a question mark where God put a period.

Embracing radical honesty. Recovery demanded a level of honesty Cupcake had never practiced. This meant:

• Admitting her addiction to Ken, her boss, despite the shame and fear of judgment.
• Confessing her lies and manipulations, including her fabricated "Marcia Brady" past.
• Making amends to those she had wronged, a humbling and often painful process.

Grieving and healing. A crucial step in her healing was confronting the suppressed grief over her mother's death. V guided her through this painful process, allowing her to finally mourn the trauma she had buried for years. This emotional release, though agonizing, was essential for her mental and spiritual growth, helping her to:

• Process the abuse and rapes she had endured.
• Release the anger and resentment she held against God and others.
• Begin to build a positive self-image, recognizing her resilience.

Accepting God's plan. Through her journey, Cupcake's relationship with God transformed from hatred and bargaining to trust and gratitude. She learned to accept that while she might not understand "why" certain things happened, she could trust that a Higher Power had guided her through them. This acceptance brought a profound sense of peace and allowed her to let go of the need to control every aspect of her life.

7. Rebuilding a Life: Education, Purpose, and Lasting Sobriety

Recovery isn’t for people who need it; it’s for those who want it.

A new path: Education and purpose. With sobriety, Cupcake discovered a renewed sense of purpose, rekindling her childhood dream of becoming a lawyer. Despite her past academic struggles and self-doubt, she committed to education, starting with basic math and eventually enrolling in San Diego State University. Her dedication was unwavering:

• Attending classes full-time while working full-time.
• Overcoming learning difficulties and past negative associations with school.
• Graduating magna cum laude, a testament to her perseverance.

Giving back and finding meaning. Her experiences, once a source of shame, became a powerful tool for helping others. Encouraged by Professor Sutton, she began sharing her story publicly, speaking to groups and on local news. This act of service brought her a profound sense of meaning and validated her journey, demonstrating that:

• Her past suffering could be transformed into a source of strength and inspiration.
• She could connect with and impact people in ways she never imagined.
• Her life, once defined by self-destruction, now had a purpose beyond herself.

A lifelong journey of growth. Cupcake's story is a testament to the transformative power of recovery. She learned that sobriety was not a destination but a continuous process of self-improvement, honesty, and spiritual growth. She embraced her true self, found genuine love and acceptance, and built a life far beyond the "ghetto star" she once aspired to be, proving that even from the deepest hell, a new life, "a piece of cake," was possible.

Last updated: November 3, 2025